Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi what I do own is a badly cut up finger.

A/N: This is going to be three chapters


Eli and I are in my room since both of my parents went away; mom was on a month long vacation she planned four months ago with her friends, she had talked it out with dad and he was supposed to be here, but got called on a business trip the day after mom left no one knows when he's coming back.

My relationship with Eli is great its been six months, we've went on countless numbers of dates, got matching cartilage piercings, he never pressured me into doing anything, we've been through everything together, and I'm finally ready to get intimate with him.

Eli is on top of me, his one leg is in between mine, his hand made its way up my shirt ghosting over my belly it's soothing to the touch against my bare skin. He's placing hot open mouthed kisses along my neck, his other hand was near my head as he held himself up with his forearm, minutes later he groaned, and stopped signaling that's as far as he could go before he loses control.

"Don't stop" I whispered

Eli looked at me with his deep green eyes.

"Clare it's ok if we don't have sex."

"I know, but I'm ready."

"Clare-"

I cut him off with a kiss and he moved his hand under my bra I moaned in my throat at his touch, he started to nibble at my neck.

"Eli" I called out, he smirked into my neck

I helped Eli remove my shirt and resisted the urge to hide my body. Eli removed his shirt in return I blushed and turned my head as he looked at me the want to cover my body was getting stronger, I pulled Eli down on top of me again, placed feather light kisses along his neck, and started to bite and nibble.

"Julia" Eli moaned.

I immediately pushed him off of me and covered my body.

"Get out." I stated between my teeth trying to fight back the tears that threatened to fall.

"Clare, I'm sorry I didn't mean to, let me explain."

I didn't want any part of it I put my shirt on. I had a feeling he still loved her as we cleaned his room, but I thought it was just me being jealous, here my instincts were right.

"Put your shirt on and get out." I said dryly as I threw Eli's shirt at him and left the room.

"Clare, baby I'm sorry I didn't do that purposely." he yelled chasing me down the stairs

I stopped at the bottom with tears in my eyes, turned towards him with my arms crossed at my chest like I was hugging myself, and looked up at Eli who was stopped in the middle.

"That's just it Eli, you calling out her name like that purposely or not signifies you're not over her." I sobbed

"Clare I love you and only you, you're my world-"

"Eli stop lying to yourself." I muttered as I looked at the floor, tears now streaming down my face as I shook my head.

"Clare I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't love you." he whispered sadness clearly ringing in his voice, his arms now on my biceps as he slouched over trying to look at my face.

"Eli just, just leave." I mumbled sadly as tears streamed down my face, remembering those days when we'd clean his room and he'd talk about her non stop. I thought it was his way of letting go, but now I realize it was his way of holding on, he kept a journal of the memories and I guess I should've taken the hint.

I looked up at Eli, his expression was saddened, he nodded his head, and I watched the love of my life walk out of my house.


Did I fail?