Author's Note: Heeeyyy. It's been a while. I've been mostly on ao3 now because it's so much easier to upload and edit when you're on mobile. But maybe some people only read on ffn and I wanna bring the fics I haven't posted on ffn here, too.

I posted this last June for the JAB (Jaime's Awkward Boner) June Fest 2017. So here ya go! I'm not gonna edit or proofread this anymore bc I'm lazy hahahah


Jaime sat on the floor, watching Brienne growl in frustration at her phone and ending her call with an aggressive push on the screen.

"Sorry about that," Brienne muttered softly, which was a great contrast to the hard stare she gave her phone.

"Hey, as someone who's always at the end of your rage, I'm not complaining," Jaime told her, hands held up in surrender. "It's nice to see you want to murder someone else for a change."

That glare quickly switched to Jaime who immediately dropped his hands, mesmerized, when Brienne's blue eyes were on him. Whether from the beauty or the danger though, he could not tell.

"Brienne, relax. It's just a day delayed," Jaime assured her and Brienne's features quickly softened.

"I know."

Jaime sighed. He knew how much Brienne was a little on edge about the move. She'd been wanting to get her own place for a long while now and had encountered many obstacles in getting it. The delay of the moving van understandably made Brienne anxious.

"You know what," Jaime said, standing up then walking toward a large box in front of him and Brienne. He patted the top. "Why don't we make use of your brand new flatscreen TV!"

It had been a housewarming gift from Jaime. The cable wires were already set. All it needed was to be plugged in.

"Jaime, it doesn't even have a TV stand!" she protested.

"So?" Jaime challenged, shrugging. "It can still stand and the cable wire could reach all the way to the floor anyway."

She looked unconvinced with his plan.

"Come on, wench!" He grinned when Brienne frowned further with the use of that stupid nickname. "That TV was from me. Besides, you brought all your bedding with you in the car, right? We can use the comforter to lay down on the floor. I brought junkfood as well. And look at us! We're in tank tops and sweatpants. We are so watching a movie."

Brienne crossed her arms and huffed. Her lips were in a pout. It was no supermodel pout but Jaime found himself wanting to kiss it.

He quickly dismissed the thought.

"Fine."

Jaime and Brienne worked together to set up their television space. Jaime was no stranger to setting up televisions since he always does it by himself or for his siblings. Brienne hauled out the comforter from the bedroom while reading the manual. She was quite good at multi-tasking, smoothing out the comforter while looking for a certain page in the manual when Jaime needed clarification for something. So in no time, the flatscreen was working, even if it was on the floor and the wires were a mess.

They surveyed their work and then each other. Both sported a proud grin. And just like every time they worked together in harmony, Jaime held out his hand for a high five and Brienne slammed her palm against it. Jaime had long stopped pranking her with the "too slow" high fives and Brienne had fairly recently trusted that he wouldn't. It was basically the story of their friendship.

Jaime went to the kitchen counter to get the junkfood while Brienne flipped through the channels.

"Bad news, Jaime," Briene said when Jaime sat next to her. "All of the movie channels I've seen are showing horror movies for some reason."

"Oh that's wonderful!" Jaime exclaimed, popping a corn chip in his mouth.

Brienne shot him a disbelieving look. "You hate horror movies."

"It's alright. I have a good feeling about tonight." In his mind though, he was quaking, but Brienne loved horror movies. Jaime thought it might help her anxious mood.

"You sure? There's always history and science channels..."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure," he said, waving her away.

"I hope you're not doing this for my benefit." Her eyes were narrowed in suspicion.

You know me too well, wench, Jaime thought but instead he rolled his eyes. "Don't feel so special. I'm just here to show you I am not afraid of horror movies anymore."

The suspicion in Brienne's face didn't budge as she switched to the first channel. The scene showed a little girl eating her own hair. Her expression twisted in disgust.

"Not feeling that," Jaime said.

"Jaime, possession movies are the ones you're scared of the least," she deadpanned. "But even then..."

"I want the ones that involve stupid teenagers and serial killers," he insisted. Brienne told him once it relieves her stress because it served as an outlet for her to yell at instead of people around her.

"Jaime, that's the one that scares you the most...for some reason."

"Wench, ghosts can do you no harm but serial killers are the real shit," he told her sternly, pouting a bit before adding, "But it's worth it just to watch you complain about how stupid other people are."

Brienne rolled her eyes at his stupid grin. "You just love watching me bitch about someone that's not you, huh, Jaime."

"Among many of your other endearing qualities…" he said with a wink.

It definitely had Jaime's desired effect because Brienne's face flamed and she looked lost. "I-I think this next one had that."

She switched to another channel. The scene shown on the screen was a teenage girl running in a hall of mirrors at the carnival.

As expected, Brienne complained. "Oh gods! Who the fuck tries to escape a serial killer by going into a place that will likely get you trapped?!"

"There's the bitchiness I love so much."

Brienne glared at him and Jaime almost laughed but then the hook-handed serial killer suddenly appeared directly in front of the girl.

Not only did Jaime jump, spilling all the contents of the corn chips all over the floor, he screamed in such a high pitch that Brienne didn't think him capable of.

Brienne burst out laughing.

"Oh ha ha," Jaime said drily but he was smiling. Brienne fell back on the comforter from laughing and Jaime felt something in his belly stir seeing his best friend lying down—neck exposed, hair in disarray, and her overall position looked like a long table for a king's feast.

"Jaime, are you okay?"

He snapped out from staring at her long legs to look at her eyes.

Bad move.

It was a million times more enticing.

Brienne understood his mood differently though, based on the bright worry shining in her eyes. Jaime wasn't sure whether he should thankful or frustrated.

"I'm sorry for laughing," she muttered.

Jaime snorted. "Really, Brienne. You've done that countless of times already and I've probably teased you worse. It's going to take more than that to break my heart, sweetling." You're gonna have to hate me and leave me forever. That's what it's going to take, he wanted to add but instead he said, "Can we see the third one instead? Maybe I'll like it better."

Brienne was back to her usual self and eyerolled, muttering something about Jaime being a demanding child. He sighed in relief. Awkward crisis averted.

Jaime brushed the crumbs off the comforter and ate all the corn chips on the floor and comforter. Brienne made a face at him.

"What? It's a waste and I know you have the cleanest spot ever. Don't worry. There's more in the kitchen anyway."

Brienne shook her head in fondness. "Anyway, it's that new movie with the demon septa."

"Sounded like that septa you had in boarding school," Jaime remarked.

She snorted. "At least this septa smiled."

"So while you make more comparisons of your demon septa to this demon septa why don't I get more food?"

"Are you sure you'll be fine being all alone, Jaime?"

Jaime knew it was a tone meant to scare him but her low husky voice was registering as sexy in his brain.

"I know you'll come to my rescue if I start screaming like a girl again."

"Jaime, if you dare prank me by screaming like a girl I swear I won't rescue you even if you're being stabbed multiple times."

"Ah. Me being stabbed multiple times. What you've always dreamt of doing to me."

"Jaime, I'm serious."

"You know I'd never lie to you, Brienne," he said with a soft smile. "I'll be right back."

Jaime leaned close to Brienne's face. About an inch away, he quickly realized what he nearly did. Brienne was wide-eyed and stunned and…something else Jaime wasn't sure was negative or positive.

Wordlessly, Jaime stood up and walked briskly to the kitchen.

"I'm not getting murdered just so you know!" he yelled as he was getting more bags of chips, hoping to diffuse the heavy silence in the house. Just what was Jaime thinking? However, the thought of giving her a short peck on the lips almost felt like a natural thing to do at the time. They were already very domestic. It was just that Brienne needed time and a lot of reassurances. He was afraid of making one wrong move and send her fleeing.

To his relief, she retorted, "That's too bad."

They were still alright.

He returned a little longer than he should. He procured a cutter and set one of the bags (Highgarden Munchies, Brienne's favorite potato chips) in front of Brienne who turned to look at him and raise a brow. He smiled smugly, sliding the blade out of its plastic casing and stabbed it below the colorful lettering of the chips' name.

"We shall feast in the guts of Highgarden Munchies!" Jaime declared making a big gaping hole in the bag.

"Yum," she replied sarcastically.

"Do play along, Brienne," Jaime grunted.

"Or why don't you shut up and watch the horror movie you chose out of the more sensible choices like Nat Geo or History Channel," Brienne replied.

"You're such a kill joy," he replied, sticking his tongue out.

"Not really. I intend to enjoy this movie." There was a sparkle of mischief in Brienne's blue eyes and he could feel his mind being all muddled again.

And the demon septa suddenly showed itself on screen and Jaime swore loudly while Brienne was red from holding her laughter.

Throughout the whole movie, Jaime attached himself to Brienne.

At first, he grabbed her hand. (Which Jaime quickly retracted, muttering his apologies but Brienne, with an amused smile, told him she didn't mind. He wasted no time in curling his fingers between hers again.)

Then, he hugged her arm. (Brienne was annoyed at him for nearly dislocating her joints when he jerked it during a jumpscare scene but she let him be. When the scenes were calm, Jaime found his fingertips lightly prodding at her hard muscles.)

When the scenes became creepy again, Jaime nearly tackled Brienne to the ground. She was stiff and Jaime would have broken away had Brienne not wrapped her arm awkwardly around him.

"Oh, my poor Jaime." It was teasing enough but Jaime swore Brienne's voice went an octave higher. He tried to ignore her use of 'my'.

On the screen, the mother was slowly creeping toward a dark place and Jaime immediately buried his face below Brienne's armpit. He would probably regret the uncomfortable angle his body was doing with his folded legs under his torso that's almost parallel to the floor, but he couldn't care less at the moment.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why are you going in there? You are not supposed to go in the dark and creepy place where the noise is coming from!" Jaime complained to Brienne's torso.

Brienne chuckled, petting his hair. "Don't worry, sweetling. I'll protect you."

Despite not seeing anything, Jaime jumped at the sound of the jumpscare sound effect. Brienne snorted at that.

"You're such a baby, Jaime. You can look now. It's over."

Jaime was not taking any chances. He didn't come out of his safe haven that was Brienne.

His safe haven huffed. "You'll have to crawl out there eventually," she said and Jaime wanted to lightly headbutt Brienne for that but he was suddenly entranced by the feel of her fingers running through his hair. It was… soothing.

Jaime swallowed a purr that was threatening to escape his lips when her hand slid downwards, along his back. For such large hands, Brienne's touch was the gentlest he'd ever known. Gentler than many seemingly feeble women hands. Her fingertips were headed dangerously low on his back and his mind was screaming for those hands to grope his ass.

He didn't know if she intended it or not but she lightly touched his bottom and Jaime's pants were getting tight. Unbidden, he moaned loudly. Brienne stiffened and quickly snatched her hand away.

Jaime also removed himself from her and moved himself behind her—crawling so she wouldn't see the state of his pants. He folded his legs, crossing them over the other. Realizing that his arousal was more obvious than ever, he reached out to snatch their snack from beside Brienne to settle the bag over his crotch.

On hindsight, maybe it wasn't the brightest idea. This was the third bag they consumed and it was Brienne's favorite flavor of Highgarden Munchies. (It was the plain salted but Jaime always bought all the flavors because Brienne liked variety)

"Jaime, just because you can't handle a horror movie. It doesn't mean I have to suffer for it," she complained in mock annoyance.

Her large hand, the one she used to rub his back earlier, was reaching behind her, hoping to get the snack back from his nefarious clutches.

But her hand slipped past Jaime's last defense, gripping his erection.

Fittingly, a woman in the movie screamed.

Jaime sucked his breath when he felt her squeeze it a little, seemingly unsure what she was gripping. Then with a small girlish squeak, Brienne quickly let go.

"Sorry. You can keep the food," she only said before they fall into a long stretch of awkward silence.

Jaime was thinking on how he could recover from this. This… thing between them was happening more and more frequently. When Jaime thought they were making a step forward, Brienne took two steps back then hid behind her defenses. It was agonizing. And when Brienne literally felt his desire for her, she just apologized and remained speechless.

Brienne was that creepy noise in the dark. He was afraid that chasing after it would cause his demise.

But he was done being afraid.

Maybe he should follow the stupid horror movie cliché.

"So we're ignoring it now," Jaime risked. He thought he was going to be met with more silence but to his surprise, Brienne spoke.

"I'm not ignoring your…" Brienne's broad shoulders rose with a sharp inhale before slowly falling to an almost quiet exhale. "...boner. I said sorry."

"I meant our sexual tension but…" Jaime snorted. He probably would've laughed if he wasn't so frustrated. "…you said boner."

"Shut up," she hissed.

"No, Brienne." Jaime crawled past her. "I am not going to shut up anymore."

He sat himself in front of her, crossing his arms across his chest and his gaze staring her down. Her stare was equally challenging to his. Eventually both gazes faltered—Jaime because he was fascinated with the way her eyes changed in color due to the television; Brienne because her eyes briefly looked down his still hard crotch.

Brienne spoke first. "Jaime, what is there to talk about?"

"We have this… thing—"

"I believe you called it sexual tension," she cut in.

"Very helpful—" Jaime said sardonically. "Everyone sees it, Brienne, and has been making several remarks—Bronn, Tyrion, Sansa, Margaery, Olenna fucking Tyrell." Jaime threw his hands in the air. "Seven hells even Tywin Lannister has been making comments about me settling down and having heirs."

"Jaime, it's your father. He's been trying to marry you off since you graduated college."

"No, Brienne. He makes that comments around you or whenever you are mentioned." Jaime wasn't kidding. Tywin often asked after Brienne, which was uncharacteristic of him unless he had some hidden agenda, and followed by a son, when are you finally going to woo this woman who you are very clearly in love with. "By the gods, if the unfeeling living nightmare, Tywin Lannister can see it. It's probably there."

"Jaime…" she said but he furiously cut her off. "Apparently it seems like only we didn't get the memo… or maybe we did but we don't want to acknowledge it. You don't want to acknowledge it.

"You're my best friend, Jaime. Most people say that a lot about male and female best friends," she tried arguing.

"Yes, you are my best friend," he affirmed because she is his best friend. It's one of the reasons why Jaime was taken with Brienne. But he wanted to be other things rather than just best friends. "But come on! If we're only best friends, why are we so awkward with the physical contact? That's not very best friend-y. That's two people afraid to take their relationship a step further.

"Maybe we're just conservative and old-fashioned," Brienne argued weakly. Jaime saw her wince at her own statement. Neither of them were 'conservative'.

Jaime went on with his tirade. "And I don't think just best friends think about kissing, dating, proposing, marrying, having ten kids, and dying of old age with their just best friends."

"You… you're…" Brienne stuttered. Jaime watched her battle with her emotions. He could see her doubt but there was hope creeping in. For a moment, he thought hope would win.

"You're ridiculous," she spat instead.

"What?" he cried. "Ridic—don't dismiss how I fucking feel, Brienne, because I've been feeling this for an achingly long time and I've been giving you space because I know how fucking wary you get!"

Brienne looked scared now and Jaime had to close his eyes to calm himself. Great. I look like those friendzoned jerks who feel like they are entitled to a woman's love for being considerate.

"Brienne, please," Jaime pleaded desperately. He was kneeling, his hands flying toward Brienne to grip her shoulders. "If you don't like me that way, I'll accept that, but please, say something—anything about how you honestly feel."

She remained silent. Jaime could only watch her pupils blow wide, the blue irises around it thinning, her face turning a darker shade of red, and her breathing grow rapid. She was taking too long to respond.

"You watch horror movies unflinchingly but you can't even tell me how you feel?" he hissed, letting her shoulders go. "Are you craven?"

Something cracked in Brienne's expression. For a split second, Jaime thought Brienne was actually going to murder him.

Then Brienne grabbed Jaime's face and smashed her lips against his. He was shocked but he quickly recovered. Jaime's hands shot out once more, blindly grabbing at Brienne. He was able to clutch at her sides, nearly tackling her to the ground but Brienne lunged forward as they opened their mouths at the same time. Her hands slid past his shoulders and wrapped her arms around his neck. Brienne used this as leverage to move closer and pull herself up. She wanted to dominate him. He chuckled against her mouth before moaning as her tongue forced entry in his mouth. Jaime welcomed the intrusion and sucked at it.

"You know," he mumbled, his lips still touching hers. "You always did prefer actions to words."

"Shut up," Brienne breathed in reply, pressing her lips against him once more and Jaime decided not to antagonize her further.

Their actions were barely governed by thought, possessed by the spirit of lust contained too long. Carnal need guided Brienne to lower herself and her hand sensually down Jaime's body until she found the waistband of his pants.

Surprisingly, it was Jaime who snapped out of it. He clutched at her wrist to prevent her from pulling down his pants.

"Brienne, wait—"

He stared into her eyes, different emotions flashing across it, but he caught a lot of doubt, confusion, and hurt.

"I just meant... I'm not prepared," he clarified, letting go of her wrist. "I don't have any condoms with me."

"I'm on birth control," she replied shyly as if she wasn't eager to get in his pants earlier.

"That's my girl scout," he teased.

She gave a weak glare before melting to something like fear and uncertainty. "You are healthy right?"

"My own hand touched me down there more than a woman lately," Jaime confessed. It was true. It had been more than a year perhaps.

"Truly?"

Her eyes were wide with oozing desperation and he wanted so badly to erase that doubt.

Jaime's answer came in a form of another kiss.

It was a rough affair, shoving her down on her back. Jaime mumbled an apology against her lips but she didn't seem to care for the roughness. In fact, her kisses were devouring. It made him harder and he instinctively ground his erection against her thigh just to let her now how much he ached for her.

His lips broke away from hers so he could look her in the eyes.

"Do you believe me now?" he whispered pleadingly.

Jaime still saw the fear and doubt but he watched it dwindle away, replaced by the twinkling mischief and shameless want.

Much to Jaime's pleasure, Brienne's large hands found themselves once more at the waistband of his pants.

"Maybe I need more convincing?" Brienne told him cheekily as she pulled down all his bottom garments in one swoop.

Jaime almost came right there.

...

Their breath had evened out some time ago and their sweat had more or less dried but their bodies were still tangled and sticky. The horror movie was still on but neither of them were really watching it. They tried but Brienne's body was sore from hard surface she was lying on so she remained faced up. Their fucking had been hot and dirty and rough and just oh so glorious that her pleasure had greatly preceeded her pain, only making itself known when they were both sated and spent. Meanwhile, Jaime recovered first and was capable of propping himself up to look at the movie but he spent most of it hiding his face in Brienne's chest.

Jaime would often use it as an opportunity to suck at her large nipples. He couldn't get enough. He'd only ever glanced them straining through her garments, calling out to Jaime's mouth and tongue. Even the memory of them as mere bumps hidden by cloth sent his blood rushing downward. Jaime's hand crawled to her other breast and running his thumb over the nipple before rolling it between his fingers. Brienne arched at his touch.

"I'm not sure if you're still genuinely afraid, Jaime," she meant it to be a tease but it came out like a needy groan.

Jaime pulled away a bit though the hand on her other breast was still fondling it. "You caught me," he replied before lightly nipping at her breast. Jaime grinned when he was rewarded by another moan from her.

"Oh hey look," Brienne breathed. "It says 'The Proposal' is next."

Caught off guard and his love for that movie, he looked to the screen only to be met by a close-up of the ashen-faced, dark-eyed demon septa. He did a girlish squeal and buried his face on her rumbling chest.

"You are evil, woman," Jaime mumbled against her skin. It spurred Brienne to a laughter filled with so much freedom that Jaime couldn't help but look up to see her eyes sparkle. He grinned at her, biting his lip to show his teasing.

"That would mean you have to make up for it, wench."

Brienne smirked, her pupils leaving only a thin ring of blue around it. Jaime swung his leg over her body but she slapped his leg.

"My back just recovered from the hard wood," she shrieked. Before Jaime's smirk turned full, Brienne interjected, "You know what I mean!"

Jaime laughed as he stood up. He expected Brienne's glare upon him but when he peered to look at her, he was surprised to find her looking up at him in blushing awe. It spurred Jaime to cease his laughter and hold out his hand to Brienne as if she was the Maiden. She was staring at his outstretched hand incredulously and Jaime wanted to cry out at her hesitance but before he could do so, her large hand rested gingerly against it. He gave her a soft sincere smile before pulling her up like a gentleman did. Despite her looks and the steel she had gained through the years, Jaime found her to be a woman beneath layers and layers and layers of her defenses, even as she staggered and almost fell due to the lingering back pain. Jaime quickly shot his other arm to catch her by the hip. They indeed looked like a couple from those rom coms that he liked so much.

"Careful, my lady," he mockingly chided her.

Despite her shy smile, Brienne snorted. "You're suddenly a gentleman now?"

"Only because you awake my inner chivalry, my darling wench," he replied with a wink.

She turned even redder at that and quickly straightened herself but not letting go of his hand. They were naked but her firm warm hand and guileless blue eyes made his cock even harder. Brienne lightly tugged Jaime to the direction of her bedroom and they were running to it like they were giggly teenagers.

Brienne entered the room first, quickly switching the lights on. As soon as he stepped into the bedroom, their bodies were against each other. Impatiently, Jaime pushed her against the wall, hoping to take her there but it ended up with Brienne knocking her shoulder into the lightswitch, immediately turning the room black. Jaime yelped and Brienne snickered.

"Don't laugh," Jaime whined scrambling to turn on the lights. "All I can see in the dark is that demon septa. Gods, I'm going to get nightmares tonight."

He managed to find the switch and pressed it. Light flooded back into the room and Jaime had to blink several times to adjust his vision. When his sight was focused, he found himself staring into Brienne's sapphire gaze. If it were possible, he was even harder.

"You insisted," Brienne pointed out.

Jaime's head swiveled to see behind him and found her mattress on the floor. Understanding his gaze, Brienne walked away from him and sprawled on the bed. He didn't follow her though. Instead he stood before her, taking in all of Brienne's naked creamy freckled skin—from her long legs, her surprisingly wide hips, the slight curve of her waist, her meager breasts with the large pink nipples begging to be suckled, her muscled arms attached to broad shoulders, the thick graceful neck, her straw blonde hair framing her wide face where her plump lips, broken nose, and her astonishing eyes resided. He definitely knew what he'll be dreaming of tonight.

Jaime crawled over Brienne as quickly as he could. He kissed her and touched her everywhere, taking his time. Jaime had always thought that he knew everything there is to know about Brienne but this physical intimacy was a new layer and he wanted to learn about it. After all, they were already bonded mentally and emotionally.

Eventually, Brienne's legs parted and he settled himself between them. They gazed into each other as he thrust.

Jaime finally felt that he was home.