Chapter 1:

He slammed the empty pill bottle down angrily. Empty again. Now he'd have to refill the prescription. He could only hope they wouldn't give him a hard time again. Jack Shepard watched as the bottle toppled over, and rolled off the marble counter. This was his weapon of choice. If he could have this however, he'd just get an alternative.

Sighing heavily, Jack slowly made his way across the room to the liquor cupboard. His sweaty palms grasped the handle, pulling it open weakly. He was greeted with a view of old friends, all of which he'd become quite familiar with in the last year. With a bitter taste in his mouth, he grabbed on of the bottles, not even caring to glance at the label. What did it matter anyway? It would still end in the same sweet release. It always did.

Not bothering to grab a glass, Jack merely took a swig from the bottle, feeling the alcohol burning down his throat. He stumbled across the room to the window which displayed a breathtaking view of Los Angeles. Instead of appreciating this sight, Jack's eyes were drawn to his distorted and shadowed reflection. The man staring back at him was nothing like the man he had been just a year ago. This man was now just an empty shell, nothing with meaning left inside of him. Nothing but an aching heart.

As this thought goes through his head, the image of a beautiful woman appears to him. Her freckled face is terrified, but appears determined to stay strong. Her coffee coloured curls blow softly in the gentle wind, and her emerald green eyes pierce his soul. It is the image of Kate, as he first saw her. This image has been burned into his mind, and will likely haunt him for all eternity.

It occurred to him that even then, in the shock of the horrific crash, Jack had thought her beautiful. And why not? Kate's appearance was breathtaking, her soul caring and gentle. She was the perfect match for him, Jack was sure. And he loved her, more than he'd ever admit. Especially after letting her go.

When they had finally been rescued from the island, Kate was immediately taken in by authorities. All of the fight in her seemed to have run out, after all that was needed on the island. As she was driven away in the police car, her green eyes that once sparkled with mischief now stared dull and emotionless at Jack. After all that they'd been through together, Jack did nothing to help her.

Thankfully, Kate had an unexpected ally on her side. Her husband Kevin from long ago coincidentally was visiting the same prison that Kate had been sent to, only 2 days after being brought it. The good man that he was had forgiven her long ago, and vowed to help plead her case.

Kate was released a month later. In the juries eyes, the time on the island made up for the time due in prison. Or so Jack read. He hadn't spoken with Kate since the day they were rescued. He hadn't bothered finding her phone number, and hadn't made any attempt to contact her. She had though. Months ago, Jack was informed that a woman by the name of Ms. Austen had called asking for a Dr. Jack Shepard. Ashamed of the fact that he had abandoned her, he merely told his staff to inform her that he wasn't the man she was looking for.

If she had called now, that statement wouldn't exactly be a lie anymore. Jack was no longer heroic and courageous. He was weak and disappointing. He doubted if Kate would ever be able to recognize him.

They say that time changes people. In Jack's case, it wasn't just time. It was the time he had spent alone, reliving all the mistakes he'd made, all the things he wished he could take back that he'd done to her. The long nights he spent dwelling on the fact that he hadn't been good enough for her. She was perfect after all. And he? He was just a pathetic attempt at a hero, who always needed something to fix.

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Author's Note:
Not sure if I'll make this into a one shot or continue it. I got inspired to write this after listening to the new Avril song over and over again. Because I love the piano part. I based Jack on how he was portrayed in the season finale. Anyway, review/comments, critiques would be loved. Even if you absolutely hated it. Thanks!