"Bound By Our Past"
You are forever bound to what made you fail. You are forever under the name of a traitor, a fallen soul, and a demon. No matter how much you try to run or hide, your past will always find you. It is like chains pulling you back, forever dragging you into the abyss of despair without hope of escape. If one would truly want to escape, it would take steadfast determination, compassion, and will.
Yet, not everyone can escape, can they?
Some choose to shelter themselves. To hide yourself from the darkness that slowly corrupts you will never bring peace. The only thing that can truly vanquish it is to fight back. Not everyone is strong enough to do so. Succumbing to the darkness is an easy thought, but it never makes the pain quick. That is what despair is.
That is how it will follow you, reminding you of your sins. Although, even with all of this on one's back, they can still get up, and continue the fight. One may still win the eternal struggle between light and darkness, even if it is only small victories. The war will always continue, but there are those who will not lay down and give in.
Your memory lives on when you die. That is what they say, is it not? Some believe the soul goes on to live for eternity, others say that it's over for you. Some believe that you will reincarnate, to live on in another life.
Was that what he had turned out to be?
In his fur covered hands, rested a golden shimmer of light. Growing as if reaching out to him, the light extended its grasp further throughout the room. Cupping his hands closer to the edges of the light, shadows cast themselves around the room, shrouding it ominously. Eyes watched the shining light, studying it as if it had secrets to be held.
A creak of the door across the room alerted the boy, the light vanishing within his palms. His dull claws scraped the edges of the covers upon his bed, whipping them over his body in an attempt to act asleep. Feeling a strong gaze being cast in his direction, he tried to be as still as possible. Yet, his attempts were futile, a voice coming from the other side of the room.
"Still looking at that thing, Azzy?" Without even having to look at her face, Asriel knew who was speaking to him from the other side of the room. It seemed he wasn't fast enough.
With a small audible voice, he responded as to not disturb the other human in the room. "I didn't think you'd be awake…" Peeking his eyes over the edge of the blanket, he saw Chara staring right back at him, her red eyes arching with amusement. He'd been caught red handed, as usual.
The audible laugh from the other side of the room made his face heat up in embarrassment. Chara had been dead set on picking on him. It wasn't his fault he was clumsy! Well, maybe he did have to take the blame for being irresponsible with this power. It was just curiosity to observe it, but to be fair, he was ashamed of even doing that much.
"Of course I was awake," Chara muttered, her grin slowly beginning to disappear from her face. Asriel could hear the laced exhaustion in her tone. With it being this late at night, Chara hiding her current emotions was not going to happen without a bit of struggle. "It's a big day tomorrow, isn't it?"
The monster's shoulder muscles became tense at the mention of it. Of course, the thought had kept him up at night as well. Lingering on the edges of his mind, he attempted to push it out with the interest of the save point. Well, time would keep moving, and eventually, they'd have to experience the tension of the next day. "I… oh of course I have," He exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. "It's a big moment for monsters and humans. Of course I'm going to be worried."
"I wouldn't worry about it…" Chara bit their lip, the words she spoke trying to also soothe her own worries. "I'm sure we will do fine, but not with that attitude."
With a small laugh, the monster teen scratched the back of his head. Just as the house once had been, silence swept throughout the room. The knowing feeling that things wouldn't be the same after the next day irked the two siblings. Of course, the occasion was one that could go wonderfully, or turn in the other direction.
They had all grown up since the barrier breaking. Granted, there had been many, MANY struggles on the way. Finally, the monsters had a chance to prove themselves. Now that Asriel was a bit older, he was considered mature enough to actually say something there.
He had his doubts…
Trying to at least break the silence, Asriel spoke up, "W-What made you come in here first?"
Finally, something that made the human shift her composure. Asriel swore that Chara was always static in movement, or at least not very expressive. Most of the time in public, she would never move a muscle out of place. Chara decided to stay reserved, as to strike a small amount of intimidation so one would take her seriously. It proved quite useful in certain situations, not that Asriel enjoyed it much.
Sometimes it felt like the human disassociated, which left a bit of an impact on both him and Frisk. Emotional filled responses from Chara rarely came. The human prefered to simply use a matter-of-fact tone. Well, could he really blame her after all she had been through? No, it would be wrong to judge her for it, but the boy could not give up on helping her show a small amount of emotion. It was a matter of security that Chara lacked.
"I was wondering if you just wanted to go for a short walk." There was the same tone… Asriel paid it no mind anymore, the human continuing, "We both need to clear our minds for a little bit, wouldn't you say?"
Considering the fact that his mother was sleeping, Asriel slowly nodded. While he normally would be scared of his mom finding out they snuck out, it wasn't like they were going on a perilous journey or anything. Those days were over. "Should we get Frisk?"
The answer was a quick 'no'. Chara seemed to not be keen on having Frisk tag along. Although, it was not for a spiteful reason. "She's had a long day. Let's let Frisk sleep." Without even a second glance, Chara turned to exit the room, only stopping to tell Asriel where they would both meet.
Quickly changing out of his current clothes, Asriel made haste to the outskirts of the neighborhood where he lived.
Speaking of that, he did always question why Toriel did not choose a fancier place to live, or a piece of property to live on. While she was not the official queen anymore, she still was held to that status in many monster's hearts. Yet, even with that much still on her shoulders, she chose to humble herself to staying in a neighborhood. She was content with the decision, and so were her children.
Asgore, himself, had decided to live a little ways into the forest, where he owned his own piece of land. The former king enjoyed a place out in nature. Most of the land was dedicated to him planting a vast array of flowers, their beauty no longer being restricted to the underground. When Asriel visited him time to time, he always gawked at just how many more flowers had grown. There was even that one time when the boss monster shoved his face into a patch of them, only for the precious plants to get stuck in his beard. Then came the bees…
Gosh, why was it so cold? Thank heavens he brought a coat with him, or else his fur wouldn't have been enough to keep him from shaking a ton. Mid winter was a wonderful time to be out and about.
Crossing by Alphys and Undyne's house on the edge of the neighborhood, he finally could see Chara in the distance. She was just as bundled up as Asriel would expect in this weather. Under normal circumstances, the two of them would meet on Mt. Ebott in their stargazing spot. However, lately that location just seemed… eerie. Therefore, they settled on meeting right outside the neighborhood. It was also an added plus, being closer to the house.
"Can the air get any colder?" Asriel questioned as he approached the human. On second thought, the coat definitely was not helping.
Although, Chara was not amused by his comment. Sighing, her breath visibly faded into the air. "You have fur. Don't be complaining…"
"Doesn't mean I can't feel cold!" He exclaimed as he finally came to a stop. "So, what did you want to talk to me about again?" Every breath he took he felt like his throat was on the verge of turning to ice. Was the chill actually the temperature, or was he just worried? Due to Chara shaking, it was the former. No need for overdramatic symbolism here.
The human looked to Asriel out of the corner of their eye. Shoving her hands in her pockets, she spoke, "Tomorrow is the day we allow humans to begin… using our magic for their own purposes."
Of course, Chara would be hesitant on that. Asriel's fist clenched a small amount. Whether it was from a tinge of frustration or just trying to keep the cold from seeping into him further, he did not know. Quickly understanding where she was going with this, Asriel answered firmly, "Chara, have more faith in the humans. I know you still have hard feelings for them, but this is a moment of trust for both races!"
"Yet, the humans have obtained magic before! Last time they sealed you underground with that power!" That most definitely hit Chara hard. What was Asriel expecting? She would still be completely worried about this entire situation.
Placing a hand over his face, Asriel sighed, once more seeing the mist that was his breath fade away. Adjusting an ear out of a tinge of stress, he tried to provide a counterpoint. "That was ages ago. We've been able to prove that humans are capable of love! You and Frisk both showed us that!"
"Let's think about this at a non emotional standpoint, Asriel. Frisk and I are the exception, not the rule." She crossed her arms, "You know perfectly well how I feel about my kind. Take it how you'd like, but I am not fond of what they have done."
There was no helping that. And to be honest, Asriel was not even going to try with her right now. Chara could believe whatever she wanted. That was not his decision. "I'm not going to shoot down peace relations between our races. You're forgetting that if anything goes wrong, I still have a backup." He stated, holding out his palm. The golden star he was once studying flickered for a few moments in the cold air.
Chara quickly pushed his hand down, the star fading away into the night. "You can't rely on that to fix your problems. What happens if a human can override it? We don't even know if it works for crying out loud! We've never had to use it!"
"And we will never have to…" He spoke reassuringly, placing a hand on her shoulder. Giving a small smile, he continued speaking, "This isn't just benefiting humans. With the combination of the human's technology and our magic, life is going to become so much more convenient. Power can be used to destroy, but it can also prevent destruction." Asriel took a few paces in front of Chara, looking to the sky, "And that isn't the beginning! Think about all of the creations that people can make."
Scoffing at the remark, Chara merely turned her head to look at the stars. "The same creations can be used against us." Asriel could have sworn that he saw a small glint of disgust come from her eyes. "Have you forgotten our first encounter with humans?"
"Of… of course I haven't…" He bit his tongue, that remark stinging a bit. While the first encounter had not gone as smoothly as he wished, it was far better than the other scenarios Frisk spoke of. The human was not very keen on speaking of other timelines, but at that moment, they were instructing everyone exactly what to do. Asriel could only pick up that something awful had happened in the past. "But we can't cling to the past! Ever since then relations have been going well!"
"There are still monsters underground who don't feel the same." Chara remarked, her stature dropping its composure. "I cannot believe these humans. It's too good to be true, and trust me, I know firsthand what that's like."
Asriel pointed towards the mountain, his voice struggling to stay calm. His sibling was being asinine right now. It was a day before the big event, and she was still holding on to old grudges. "Those monsters are too busy living in the past like you. We can't fix everything that we all did. Us monsters killed children! They killed you and I! Are we going to hold onto it forever?"
The human barely even flinched at his remark. Instead, they simply sighed, "Maybe focusing on the past is what we need to understand how to adapt to our future. The world is changing, Asriel. Not everything is going the way you plan. All it takes is one slip up and everything is lost."
"Then think that way!" Asriel threw his hands in the air, finally caving in. He could not deal with this right now. Being that he was a main speaker of the event, a central aspect of it, he did not need these negative thoughts in his head right now. As much as he wished he could divert his sibling to see good in humans, it was not worth it right now. "I'm going back home."
Chara, noticing her error, tried to get Asriel to come back. She'd been too blunt. The usual getting her way no longer worked on anyone in the house. While Chara did have a persuasive attitude, Frisk and Asriel now knew how to see right through her. "Asriel, I am only trying to-"
"Save it…" He muttered, walking back towards his home. Both of his arms wrapped around his coat, trying to offer him a bit of extra warmth in the bitter cold. Chara had dragged him out here to complain. "You go home to mom. I'm going to spend the night with dad…" Asriel stated, only stopping for a moment before continuing in another direction.
He did not wait to see if Chara had done as he said. Not only was he incredibly tired still, but now he had the words of Chara ringing in his ears. Of course he had his doubts about humanity, but that still didn't take away from the fact that he could not run on the bias that they are all evil beings out to get the monsters.
And Chara… she was not helping.
Always, Asriel tried his best to keep his sibling happy, but now it was just getting increasingly difficult. Chara was still the Chara he knew. She was strong willed, but that also came with a thick skull. Frisk was much better talking with her, anyway.
Personally, he was going to Asgore simply because he felt more understood there. Asgore was now more open to talk than ever. Once a king who didn't listen to his wife's pleas to not kill those children, he now had begun to learn from his mistakes. Of course, his explanation about what he had done about Flowey had yet to rise, but Asgore was still someone Asriel found he could talk to.
Yet, Asriel could never pinpoint where all of this stress came from. Sure, he had freed everyone. Gaster was now the leading scientist, partnered with Alphys. The two always were able to correct each others errors, making their works advance rapidly. That was a relief, being that monsters were able to collaborate much better with humans when the time came. So that obviously wasn't where this undesired stress came from.
There was also the next day, a huge day for humans and monsters. However, Asriel had been fairly content on getting that done, so it couldn't be the cause of the weight on his shoulders. That was impossible. Asriel hated public speaking, but it wasn't enough to have him this way for months.
Was it possibly the fact that he had the literal weight of the world on his shoulders? Well, that was the best candidate. He had the power of the SAVE within him, and with it came responsibility. Of course, Frisk and Chara were the only other two to know about it. If it became public that he could rewind time, he couldn't imagine how many people would be begging him to reverse tragedies. He would if he could, but there were just too many. Disrupting the flow of events like that was a foolish game.
Yet, that wasn't it. There was one piece of this entire puzzle that seemed to not even be present in this timeline. That was a thought he had, before it quickly faded away into the depths of his mind.
As he neared the front door of Asgore's home, he quickly knocked on the wooden door. The response was slow, but Asgore was sure to make it to the door, even though he seemed groggy. The kingly figure still towered over Asriel, with his horns nearly scraping the door. His beard still was growing ever longer, an Asriel was a tad jealous of that.
"What are you doing this late at night, son?" He inquired, quickly ushering Asriel in.
Asriel yanked on his ears in distress, stopping a little bit inside. "Just… the visit with mom didn't go well…" He murmured, seeing the understanding form in Asgore's eyes.
In response, the former king turned on the lights to the dining room, pulling out a chair for Asriel to sit in. "Here, it may be late but I am more than happy to discuss it with you." Quickly spinning on his heels, he abandoned Asriel in the room, most likely running to fetch something.
Maybe the stress was the disconnection that he had with his siblings. Asriel didn't necessarily live in Toriel's house most of the time. After the barrier had broken, Asriel had decided upon staying with his dad, as he would need the most support out of all the monsters. The blood of children was not something someone could easily push through. So far, they were nearly ready to talk to one family about what happened…
Of course, the fact that Asriel lived with his dad meant that his mother tried to have him visit as often as possible. He was encouraged to go to her house every single day. One of Asriel's difficulties was having Toriel try to somewhat forgive Asgore. While forgetting wasn't an option considering the circumstances, Asriel strived to at least get the two on better terms. Years ago on the mountain, he had tried to convince his mom to at least try. Slight improvements were made, but none that were extremely successful.
Asriel was absent mindedly tapping on the table in front of him when Asgore came back, carrying tea. That's not an overused scenario or anything. Well, Asgore was just trying to at least offer a little comfort, and he wasn't good at making much else. Although, the monster was straight and quick to the point, "So, I guess Toriel is still not ready for our meeting with the first parents?"
After many tries, Asgore had lost the art of calling Toriel "Tori". Sadly, that trait had been lost to time. Asriel shifted his focus off of that matter, instead recounting the conversation they had with one another. "She's just as worried as you. What happens if we come off clean to the humans tomorrow and then say 'We killed your children!'?"
"But… she was the one who suggested it, was she not?" Asgore asked, remembering the day the barrier broke. "I… do not wish for humans to despise us after we have a chance, but she has a point. It is the right thing to do. I just do not understand why she has hesitated."
Asriel let out a sigh, refusing to even touch his tea. How was he supposed to explain this? "Dad, mom still blames herself for those children's deaths too. She let them go out in the world without any guidance. Frisk was the only one she actually fought…" As far as he knew, that was the case. "I just don't think she's recovered from that."
Asgore shook his head in wonder, "I understand that, but it cannot be the only case. If she wanted to move on, then why wouldn't she have talked to them by now? I do not wish to be assuming, but I believe Toriel is not telling the entire truth."
"You think? Everyone has been off lately." He put his head on his hand. "Mom has been acting standoffish instead of welcoming. Chara has gone back to being paranoid about humans. Now, I'm getting stressed about nothing!"
Neither of them knew what this was all about. Asriel was normally upbeat instead of being like this. He was the glue that was supposed to hold the family together. Now, after tonight, he had lost his composure. Was he just like Chara in a way? Was he trying too hard to suppress his emotions?
"Why do I always feel like the next step I take shapes the world?" He asked, hands tightening on his cup. Asgore merely listened, not wanting to interrupt. He had seen Asriel do this before, and knew to just let him cool down. "I just wanted to finally have peace. The barrier breaking, us being reunited, Gaster returning, the humans accepting us! All of this should have been enough! So why…"
"Why does it feel like that's going to end?"
AN: Not quite dead yet, but my passion for writing Undertale is slowly dying. I cannot promise for this series to have an end, but every now and then I will try to update. I am moving on to original content mainly, shaping my own characters. Starting highschool does not help me much. However, I wanted to at least show you guys that I cared enough to post something. I will try my best.
Thank you for your support.
