Chapter 1: Wishes


I draw my arm across my face, covering my eyes. Just like yesterday, and the day before, and the day before, and... I'm unable to sleep. I turn on my left side and curl slightly into a ball. My scarlet hair spills across the pillow, but because of the moonlight, it's instead colored in a dull silver-red color. I sit up. From my vantage point in bed, I gaze outside, taking in the moon and stars. With a little bit of effort, I pull open the window and rest my head in my arms on the wide windowsill. The moon's glow bleaches everything, turning bright colors into more subdued, silvery shades. Under the moonlight, everything seems ghostly and unreal.

Ghostly and unreal.

I climb on the windowsill and bring my knees to my chest.

Ghostly and unreal.

Suddenly, my sight blurs slightly.

Tears.

A large drop slides down my face, off my chin, and onto the soft material of my nightgown. My breaths grow shallow and fast.

I begin to sob quietly.

I drag my arm across my eyes, in an attempt to stop the tears. However, my efforts are in vain.

"Why?"

"Why does he do this to me?" I whisper.

I give up on trying to wipe away my tears, and instead allow them to freely cascade down my face.

I still cannot understand why he's so unkind to me. Tenko Chabashira-san had told me to ignore him (albeit adding that such behavior would be expected of men: "Tenko thinks that they are awful pigs..."), but that didn't quite comfort me like she wanted it to. I still felt sad and alone.

I lift a strand of my red velvet-colored hair and examine it in the moonlight.

"I don't think it's ugly, but why does he say it is?"

I release the lock of hair in hurt confusion. It flutters back down to my shoulder and rests there, soft and silent as always.

I hiccup softly, and the sobs slowly quiet until they are nothing but little sighs. Soon, even those dissipate.

I close my eyes for a brief moment. A late tear streaks down my cheek, and I tiredly wipe it away. I sigh. I look up into the inky blackness that is the night sky and take in its mysterious beauty.

I remember what Kaito Momota-san has told me so many times.

"Momota-san can go on for hours about something as everyday as the night sky. I see why now. After all, it's so wondrous, expansive, and beautiful. And me... well... I'm just an insignificant little speck in this whole universe, and yet..."

I sigh sadly.

Suddenly, I spot a shining streak shoot through the sky.

A shooting star.

I close my eyes, and take a breath of fresh air for courage.

I know what wish I want to make.

"Please, if it's possible, please help me get through this. Help me stop this pain."

I feel one tiny tear slide down my cheek.

"Please."


I...

I can't believe it.

What have I done?

I never meant the things I had said. I was joking. I swear, I was only joking. But I must have been saying them so harshly, and...

As I watch Himiko Yumeno cry on the windowsill, as I hear her sobs tear her up inside out, I feel my own tears begin to form.

I can't believe what a wicked person I am.

I'm a monster.

To so heartlessly joke at her expense, never taking her feelings into account...

To never take into account that every sharp - to my ears, joking - word that I spoke tore her up inside.

For all I know, she could have been struggling to hold back tears during every encounter she'd had with me.

I have no words.

Why did I do this to her...?

How could I do this to her?

I wipe at my eyes with the cuff of my torn sleeve.

I hear a whispered phrase.

"Why?"

Oh, please...

I'm sorry...

"Why does he do this to me?"

Oh, dear God...

I'm so evil.

As I watch the small, red-haired girl cry on her windowsill from the shadows of a tree, I feel an icy, iron heart grab and crush my heart. Unable to stop my own tears now, I feel them cascade down my face and drip down my chin. I double up in pain and heartbreak. I grab at the left side of my chest, trying to stop the harsh, throbbing pain.

This was never supposed to happen.

I was never supposed to feel this way.

I'm supposed to be laughing.

I should be smirking at Himiko, thinking that she's a weak crybaby.

But I can't.

I wouldn't even do that to Maki Harukawa-san, hate me though she does.

But I can't.

It's normal for someone to cry like this, but not for someone to be heartless like me and cause someone else pain.

All I want is to ease her pain.

All I want is to pull her in my arms.

All I want is to bury my face in her silky hair, to wipe the tears from her face.

All I want is to see her beautiful smile and hear her beautiful laugh.

All I want is to make her happy, to see her happy.

With tears streaming down my face, I hear Himiko whisper something else.

"I don't think it's ugly, but why does he say it is?"

Himiko inspects a strand of her crimson hair, then lets go of it. I see hurt confusion written all across her face.

I never wanted Himiko to take my words so seriously.

In truth, I think that her hair is the most mysterious and beautiful color that I have ever seen.

I want to tell her that I never meant what I said.

"Idiot. Monstrous, selfish idiot," I hiss to myself.

If only I could climb onto the windowsill, to hold her against my chest, to stop her tears...

To stop the tears caused by me.

I take a step forward. Then another. I'm almost out of the shadows. I want to reach out to her.

But that would be useless.

She'd hate me all the more, and then I wouldn't be able to even come within a mile of her.

I quickly slip back into the darkness.

I don't understand.

I can't understand.

I still don't understand why I feel the way I do about Himiko. I've been trying to deny it for the past several weeks, but to no avail.

I may be the most skillful liar known to man, but even I can't trick myself.

I'm stuck.

I'm stuck, in love with a girl that would rather kiss a snake than even find herself in the same room with me.

Head-over-heels love. That's what this is.

I'll never be able to love anyone else but her.

But I don't deserve her love.

I need her love.

I need her touch...

But she does not need mine.

I tease Himiko ceaselessly because I don't want her to find out.

The likely look of disgust upon her face would break me.

But until now, I hadn't realized how much I was hurting her.

How much I was breaking her.

I clench my hands into fists. Never again will I say a single bad thing to Himiko.

I'll do anything to relieve the pain that I had caused.

As I begin to stand, I hear a wish.

"Please, if it's possible, please help me get through this. Help me stop this pain."

I shift in the shadows. I feel determination take hold of me.

No matter what, even if it means humiliation...

No matter what, I will make her happy.

"Please," she breathes one last time.

Her eyes close and her breathing evens out.

She's asleep.

I hesitantly step out of the shadows.

Himiko doesn't react.

I think over everything I had learned.

Originally, I was merely intending to take a walk (I had been suffering from insomnia for the past few days), but I had somehow ended up under a tree near Himiko's cottage.

Thank God for that.

Now I know.

I step lightly over the cold, soft grass.

Within a minute, I reach the windowsill.

Just like the windowsills of all the other cottages, it's no higher than my waist.

I step closer to the curled up figure of Himiko.

Her long eyelashes flutter, but she continues to sleep.

All of a sudden feeling worried for her safety, I take off my shoes and slip into her room through the window, taking care not to wake Himiko.

Standing on the bed, I gently wrap my arms around Himiko's warm form. Cradling her against my chest, I step down from the bed.

"Kokichi..."

I start.

Is she awake?

I glance down, heart beating rapidly.

Himiko is still asleep.

But, to my surprise, I feel and see her curl into my chest and place a small hand over my quickly beating heart.

That gesture makes me feel like I had been hit by a train.

I turn my face into my shoulder, careful not to let any tears drip into her hair.

I gently sit on the bed and rest my head on hers for a brief moment. Silent sobs wrack my body.

Then, gathering myself, I lay her on the soft bed. I pull the covers over her and kneel before her bed, gazing into her sleeping face.

There.

I'll never be able to get any closer to her than this.

Maybe she'll subconsciously remember this and, though she might never realize it, she'll know that I love her and that I'm so deeply sorry.

I stand and wipe the tears from my face. I gather myself, and quickly and silently, like a black cat, slip out of her room through the window.

I put on my shoes and walk away back towards my own cottage, the tears still fresh and cold on my face.

"Don't worry about your wish, Himiko," I think. "I've made mine. I hope that my wish comes true... that I succeed in making you happy."


Just under Himiko Yumeno's bed, something lies, forgotten and unnoticed by Kokichi Ouma.

A red button.

Unbeknownst to the peacefully breathing Himiko and the guilt-racked Kokichi, that single button and a series of other occurrences would help reveal two secrets and bring the two students ever closer...