A/N: Hey! I did write the TV fic, so here's the intro chapter! Enjoy, my buddies and old friends!!! WOOT!!
The Faramir Variety Hour
Episode 1 of the Primetime Years
Take 1
"Ok, is this thing on? Why is there a red blinking light? What brand is this?" Boromir asks, looking into a video camera.
"I think it's on." Faramir says. "And it's a GondorVison 2.0."
"We couldn't get the version 8.9? That's supposed to be really good!"
"Well, we don't have that much money..."
"Ok, whatever."
"Now that we're all poor and we're on primetime or whatever...just I think that camera's on."
"Really? That would explain that blinking light that says, 'On air'." Boromir says. "Take it away, little bro."
"Can you stop calling me little bro?"
"Well, you are my little bro."
"Yeah, whatever. I've been thinking, do you know what time this show airs?"
"Well, we record at noon daily..."
"OH MY GOD!! PRIMETIME IS MIDNIGHT??????" Faramir says, looking at TV Guide.
"What? Your boss said we're airing at 5:00 PM!" Boromir says.
"I can't believe it! That's about the biggest betrayal ever since dad tried to burn me!" Faramir says, tossing TV Guide against the wall.
"Shame, I missed that day...I would have got front row seats..."
"I really hate you. All you ever do is hurt my feelings!"
"Chill, man!" Boromir says.
"You know what? Everywhere I go, people gyp me of my rights! First, everyone tells me, 'Be more like Boromir, Faramir!' 'Solve problems with a sword, not with words, Faramir!' 'Go kill everyone out there because they aren't helping Gondor, Faramir!' Well, I'm sick of it!" Faramir says.
"Er, perhaps you should calm down?" Boromir says.
"I told dad anger management doesn't work! But it was just, 'Stop complaining, Faramir!' 'You're a sissy, Faramir!' 'Go take a long walk off a short pier, Faramir!!'"
"Take a long walk off a short pier? That's a good one. Who said that?"
"Dad."
"He's a funny guy, that Denethor! Take a long walk off a short pier, honestly!"
"Take off, ok? I'm sick of it!" Faramir moans, walking offstage.
"Well, er...we really can't broadcast now that our host is gone...so let me thank our sponsors...The Lorien Art Foundation, providing Art for the Future...the Rohan Memorial Fund, providing funding and donations to the tombs of Snowmane, Theoden, Hama, and all those who died in the Battle of Helm's Deep and the Pelennor Fields...and the Gondorian Swordarms Society...that means me...what?" Boromir says, reading off an index card.
"I'm sick of you and you and you!!!" Faramir yells off stage, as some producers and other people look scared to death.
"Tune in next time." Boromir says.
A/N: Hey, hoped you liked it. I did. I know it was short, but I'm sorry. I love you all if you review! Go and do so now!!
