Hold on Tight

A John/Ashley Fic

Summary: Unable to express his love, John Cena decides to embark on a journey to find the one diva that had captured his heart, but decided to walk away from it all and leave it a memory of the past.

Note: My only goal is to please you all, and hopefully I'm doing just that. =) Here's a little Christmas gift to you all. Merry Christmas! =D


-

They say if you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be. The question is, was this always the case? Say for instance, you loved someone with all that your heart had to offer, but in the end, just discovered that the person was unable to express their devotion and care towards you. What would you do? What would you feel? One word can be used to describe these emotions of yours. Heartbreak.

Here he lay in his still hospital bed, helplessly wondering why it had to be this way. His life at the moment wasn't exactly how he had imagined it to be like. He was supposed to be happy, at the top of the world. Instead, he had attained another injury, lost his hope of contending for the World Heavyweight Championship, and would be sidelined for months to come. But most importantly, the love of is life had slipped through his fingers. She had decided it was time to walk away and cherish the memories along.

But why? Why hadn't she told him? I mean, after all, they were closest of friends. Spending all of their time in each others' company. Being there for each other when they needed comfort. Having a great time in all. So, why had everything between them have to come to end this way?

- Why me? Why do I have to be the one to go through all of this! Why can't life just be so damn easy for me?!

Simply put, he was helpless …and alone.

- Mr. Cena? How're you feeling today? - he snapped out of his thoughts, and turned his attention to the doctor who had just walked in, prior to the surgery.

- Huh? Oh yea. Feeling just great. A little tired though. - the former "champ" commented as he tried sitting up with much difficulty.

- Easy John, your in no hurry. I came to tell you that your surgery was a big success. We were able to treat the herniated disk very well, and you should be able to recover feeling in your right arm ASAP. So take it easy until then.

At least there was some good occurring in his life. With that, he sighed in relief.

- I really do appreciate it doc, for everything. I can't thank you enough. - the doctor made his way over to the former champ and a firm handshake was shared.

- It's my job to help those in need. Plus you will be able to check out tonight. However, you'll have to prevent yourself from any strenuous activities and take it easy. Time elapsed should be about 2 more months.

- Well I guess its better than being here. -he joked

- Well try not to overwork yourself next time, and I won't be seeing you soon - smiled the doctor as he made his way to the door. - By the way John, you had a lot of visitors stop by today - he pointed towards the mountain of gifts piled in the corner of the hospital room before leaving.

John looked around and noticed all the flowers and presents lying about, as well as the huge "Get Well Soon" banner that was hanging in front of him.

If only she were here.

-

Later that Day

- John! Great to see your okay man. - greeted the infamous Legend Killer, who stepped inside the departure room.

- Yea man I know. Feelin much better. - the two shared a manly hug.

- How bout we get the hell outta here. This place gives me the creeps.

- Oh god, what happened?

- Old ladies giving me creepy ass smiles, like they wanna get it on with me or sumthin, that's what!

- Haha well Randy, can't help it if they're your biggest fans. I on the other hand-

- Yea okay, enough John! In your dreams. - mumbled the St. Louis native

- I'm just kidding Orton. Let's get outta here - he chuckled before patting the younger superstar's shoulder

- Thank god!- he said before picking up John's luggage and presents as they headed towards the parking lot.

- You checked out? Does the doc know? Are you all ready?

- Yes mom, I took care of everything - the Doctor of Thuganomics rolled his eyes

- What I was just asking you know. Geez. You haven't changed one bit Cena - sighed the 3rd generation superstar.

- I only had surgery dude. Plus, you saw me yesterday.

- Yeah, but somehow I wish the surgery would've knocked you into your senses.

- And somehow I wish you weren't such an ass - joked the former champ

- Hey I came to get you outta this hell hole. Excuse me for being such a gentlemen!

- What? You started it!

-

An Hour Later

Things seemed pretty quite during the car ride as Three Days Grace, Pain, was softly blasting through the speakers along with the horrific voice singing along which belonged to the one and only Randy Orton. He was tapping his hands on the steering wheel when he noticed the Chain Gang Commander in a deep thought as he pressed his head against the window.

- Hey man, you alright?

John slowly turned his friend - yeah man, just a little tired that's all.

- Dude, I've known you for 7 years, and I know when your being honest and when your not. And right now, your not.

- It's nothing Orton. Don't sweat it. I'm fine.

- C'mon man, you know I'm here for ya. Spill it out - he lightly punched the injured man on the shoulder in persuasion

Knowing that keeping thoughts to himself wouldn't solve anything, and that maybe, just maybe, the younger lad could actually understand him for once. He sighed before continuing.

- You haven't… heard from her. Have you? - he said as he looked at him with a disappointed face.

Knowing exactly what was going on Randy sighed - No man. I haven't - he spoke softly as he nodded his head and continued to look straight ahead at the deserted highway.

- I don't understand. What did I do that made her just forget me like that?

- John, she didn't forget you, she. She probably was in a hurry or something.

- She said her goodbye to you, as well as the whole fucking roster - he muttered with a sense of jealousy and rage

- Look man, I honestly don't know what's going on with her, but I'm pretty sure she has her reasons. - he reasoned hoping it would calm him down.

- Whatever man. You wouldn't understand. - The champ was right on this one. Randy wouldn't understand him on this because the diva that had left him, was the one who had his heart the whole time.

He was in love, but never was able to declare it to her. Now he sat here. Imagining what things would have been like if he had confessed his feelings to her.

But of course, it cost him in the end.

-

45 minutes later, the 2 superstars walked into the Staples arena, the sight of Monday Night Raw. John decided he wasn't about to go to the hotel and rest, when he could at least be supporting his friends of the superior brand, even if he couldn't compete. I mean wouldn't you?

- Johnny! Your okay and here, and in one piece, and here!! - he was first greeted by Mickie and Candice who literally launched themselves on him.

- Whoa, injured man here. - as they shared a couple of laughs, one superstar interrupted the moment

- I'm here too guys. Don't I get a hug? - the 3rd generation superstar grinned as he opened his arms, much like his smugly in-ring pose.

Quite the opposite actually.

- Oww! What the -? What was that for?! - he held his head as both divas slapped him on noggin.

- For getting here late! Your match against Batista is next! - said Mickie

- But the match-

- Better hurry, I hear is entrance music! - added Candice

- What! Holy shit! - with nothing more, the 3rd generation quickly began to jog away. - I'll pick you up after the show John.

- Hows it goin guys? - questioned the champ as he turned his attention back to the two ladies in front of him.

- Great! We were just about to give Punk a makeover! Wanna join us?

Wondering if Punk had agreed to this 'makeover' or had yet to find out about it, he decided it was better if he hadn't gone, incase they pulled the same thing on him. - I'm good guys. I'll just hang out with boys, but I'll catch ya'll later - he added a wink before making his way to the men's locker room, just in time for Randy O's match.

-

-

- Hey man, you're here! - the West Newbury Massachusetts native walked into the men's locker room and was greeted with none other than Chris Jericho, who had stopped unpacking his luggage and made his way over to the returning superstar for a hug.

- Great to be here Chris. You know they can't keep me away.

- Damn right they can't. So how're you feeling? How was the surgery?

- The surgery went great man, and I'm feeling much better than before.

- What a relief! It's never easy y'know? Anyways it's great to have you back.

- Are my eyes deceiving me or is it John Cena? - a new voice was heard approaching the two superstars. - Oh wait. It is John Cena.

It belonged to none other than Ted DiBiase.

- Better believe it kid - the two shared a laugh before sharing a firm handshake

- Oh I am. Especially with that huge bandage on your neck. - said the 2nd generation superstar as he pointed to bandage John was nursing his scar over.

- Thanks a ton Ted. Remember. Stay away from injuries, or you'll end up like me - he added as he pointed his finger at the much younger wrestler.

- Oh believe me. I will. - with nothing more, he began to walk away. - I'll be seeing you real soon "champ"

- What an arrogant little- he was cut off by John who covered his mouth

- Chris, don't let the kid get under your nose. - he chuckled

- Your right. Thanks John, I lose my temper sometimes?. Speaking of temper, have you seen Mickie lately? Last time I spoke to her, she totally exploded on me!

The Chain Gang Commander sighed with a hearty chuckle - What did you do now Chris?

- I didn't - he stopped to glare at John with a are-you-kidding-me look - I didn't do anything man. I mean, we were at this club, one minute the "Sexy Beast" is dancing with this gorgeous creature, and the next minute, Mickie is screaming her lungs out at me. - Chris reasoned

John just stood there, looking at him with a blank face. - I'm gonna let you handle this one bro - he said before making his way over to the sofa, to watch the match, in which Randy was currently receiving a firm headlock from the Animal.

- But-

- No buts Chris. Think really hard as to why you could have pissed her off.

- ……………….you don't think-

- Yes I do Chris!

- Oh shit! - with nothing more, he ran out in search of the diva, leaving John to chuckle and watch as Randy continued to get his butt whooped.

-

-

- Wow man, Batista really kicked your ass hard!

- Okay John, I think I get the point!

The two were now entering the hotel, prior to another finish of an exhilarating show.

- I know. Its just fun to see you squirm.

- Evil man..- Randy put the luggage down. - Wait here, I'm gonna go check in.

- Randy, if you think checking in means to hit on the clerk, I'll do it myself. - rolled the champ

- No, I saw her first! - whispered the Legend Killer with a smirk - Plus, I'll show you exactly why they also call me "The Lady Thriller" , watch and learn rookie.- He stated confidently adding a wink, before making his way over to the young lady sat at the desk.

The West Newbury native could only roll his eyes, as he took a seat at one of the benches. Within moments, his mind was somewhere else.

His mind was on her yet again. As it always had been.

He was really hurting deep down inside, but tried his best not to show it to others. Last time he had seen her was nearly 2 weeks ago, and at this point, he was desperate to see her. To hear news about her. To hear her name. But to no avail. Everyone seemed to be taking the news better than him.

But then again, he was the one brokenhearted.

- John? - Once again, reality crashed down on him.

- Trish? Hey, what're you doing here? - he stood up and offered a warm hug which she gladly accepted.

- I came to see how everyone was, especially how you were holding up - she stated with her infectious smile

- I'm doing great, thanks for asking by the way. Surgery was successful and I should be making my return in a month or two.

- Awesome. Glad to know.

There was an awkward moment between them, but not an uncomfortable one.

His thoughts were interrupted, going back to before, to the one thing on his mind for a long time, and Trish took notice of the look of distress on his face.

- You okay John? You seem really upset.

- What? No, I'm just suffering a headache that's all. You know how surgery is. Its never easy to go through. I'm just glad its all over. - chuckled the former 3 time WWE champion.

He wasn't much of a good liar.

- …..Your thinking about her aren't you… - she said softly

He could only sigh as he took off his hat and ran his fingers through his short brown hair before putting it back on. - Is it that obvious?

- Well John it doesn't come to me as a surprise. You two were pretty close. Not to mention, always hanging out, and being there for each other. Plus you always had that love struck look on your face only a fool in love has .

- Thanks Trish, it means a lot- he playfully rolled his eyes, offering a weak smile.

They both took a seat on the bench as Randy continued to flirt with the clerk who was now blushing heavily.

- I just wanna know why she had to leave so unexpectedly. I thought everything was going well. - he was clearly upset

- She had her reason J, believe me. - she soothed his back

- We could've said our good byes Trish. Does she hate me that much?

- She doesn't hate you. Things just sorta…got out of control for her, that's all.

- What do you mean? - he looked at her attentively, with wide eyes. - Do you know something? Did she tell you? - he questioned with hope of getting to the bottom of it.

- John, before she left, she told me to promise not to tell a soul. I can't, its not my place. I'm sorry.

- Please Trish….anything. I…I really care about her - he pleaded as he stared at her with teary eyes, hoping for some sign of relief.

- I..- she was really beginning to feel a lot of empathy towards the vulnerable figure before her. He loved her, and he had a right to know. She could only sigh before continuing. - Honestly, she's not doing too well right now John. She had to quit, so she could to take care of some.. personal issues in her life.

- …So will she come back?

- I.. don't think so John… - she began to shake her head in a disappointed fashion.

He just sat there, wondering if she was alright. Trish obviously knew a lot more information than she was bargaining to tell him, but she was visibly devastated. So he thought, it would be best not to ponder onto the topic any further for the time being.

- Guess who just got a date for Wednesday night? That's right! Me! - acknowledged the 3rd generation proudly as he made his way towards them, with a cheesy grin, swinging the room keys in both of his hands.

- How's it going Orton? - questioned Trish sweetly as she stood up.

- Couldn't have been better. And yourself?

- Same.

- Well, I guess we'll see you tomorrow then. Johnny here looks like he's about to pass out any moment. - chuckled the happy man.

- Hey!

- Aww c'mon take a joke you old fruit cake. - With nothing more all three superstars headed into the elevator and gone there separate ways.

-

-

Randy had dropped the luggage off in the John's hotel suite and then vanished off, complaining about how enough sleep takes a good toll on his looks.

He kicked off his shoes and looked around the room, noticing how quite things were. He went to the window and observed how desolate and still the night was as the stars spread throughout the darkened horizon and the roads refrained from bearing any traffic.

Noticing it was 1:15 AM, he stripped into a pair of boxers, and decided to call it a night. After all, he was quite exhausted to say the least. He put his phone on the charger and crawled into the comfy and welcoming bed sheets, adjusting to a snugly and warm position, before shutting the night lamp.

-

-

2:30 AM

Insomnia, as some called it, was certainly takingits toll on the Doctor of Thuganomics as he stared at the sealing, engaged in another thinking session.

Everywhere he looked, his thoughts went back to her. Everything about her, her contagious smile, beautiful crisp blue eyes, her adorable habits, scent, and everything else about her, made it harder for him to concentrate. It was almost intoxicating.

- God I love you…..and I always will.

Realizing sleep wasn't going to come to him anytime soon, he decided he would just stay up until it would. He first began to watch T.V., until he realized nothing really was coming on.

After turning it off, he yawned, and searched around the room for something that would occupy him until he would daze off to dreamland. His eyes hit the corner of the room where his luggage had lay, along with his stacked pile of presents.

He stood up and stretched, letting another yawn escape his mouth before making his way over to the pile of gifts. He first grabbed hold of a red and green wrapped box, with a "Feel better soon champ! From, Maria" tag, and ripped it open to discover a John Cena plush bear. He chuckled before placing it on the night stand.

Than he ripped open his gift from Shawn Michaels, which turned out to be the latest DX DVD. - Two words Shawn, thanks alot. - chuckled the champ to himself before continuing the rampage of presents.

After opening what seemed like 10 more gifts he was pretty content with what he had received and was now pretty worn out. - I'm almost done- he told himself as he grabbed the last gift with yet another yawn.

It was a pink wrapped box, with a black ribbon. It was packed ever so neatly, only for the Chain Gang Commander to rip through it as if it were a candy wrapper.

Once he removed the lid, he had seen the one thing he was not expecting at all. It was a gift. From her.

He carefully pulled out the contents which included a photo album and a note. His heart raced faster and faster as he gazed over each picture inside intently, focusing on every little detail. Each one was from a various moment the two had shared and truly cherished.

He was beginning to feel as if she hadn't forgot him after all. He then decided to read the note.

Dear J.C.,

Johnny C!! How's my lovely feeling after his surgery? Just wanted to tell you I nearly had a stroke after finding out the news. I honestly hate seeing people go through that. Especially if it's my best bud! Anyways, I know we haven't really talked since I left, and I'm really sorry for that. Millions of thoughts and feelings were flying through my head, that it was just too hard to keep up. Hope you can forgive me? *pouting here* Haha, get well soon Cena. Until then, I leave you with a kiss, and a gift to remember the wonderful times we had. - And with a kiss, it was completed.

His heart was beating abnormally fast, as he sat there, breathing heavily, carefully digesting each word into his thoughts as he remained steady on the sofa for a few minutes before making his way back into his bed. He didn't exactly know what he was distinctly feeling at this moment. He was happy, bewildered, and a bit upset.

She was hiding something from him. Her best friend? And what did she mean by, " Millions of thoughts and feelings were flying through my head, that it was just too hard to keep up." John had found himself with numerous theories as to why her behavior was the way it was towards him. He didn't really like being left alone in the dark.

Aside from that, he was still astonished, that she hadn't forgot him at all. One thing was for sure, she was hiding something. Something important enough to leave behind her one true passion and the spotlight she had on the world.

John Cena didn't know exactly what, but intended to find out. His feelings had truly overcome him, and now his actions were going to play out them out. He was never a hundred percent sure about anything in his life except this. This was it.

He was now on a mission to find her.

- I'm coming Ashley. Just hold on tight.


So, I've had this story on my mind for a while now, and what better time to upload it on none other than Christmas! Hope all of you enjoyed it and remember to please review. Next chapter will be up soon, and much longer. Happy holidays!