Introduction

Hi, I'm Naruto! Why am I in America speaking English you ask? I have no idea! I should be in Japan where I belong!

It was a rainy day, and I don't know how many other stories begin like this. Sakura and I were having sex in the sacred royal holy Japanese temple, and all of the other people in the Ninja school were busying themselves by grunting like all people in an anime cartoon do at a Ninja who could do a back flip.

Earlier that day all of my friends and I were pissing all over the Hokagai statues to symbolize our rebellion against all authorities. Boy, that was a blast! But then an evil Ninja hopped through the trees unrealistically and ridiculed my stupid blonde hair!

I was so angry! I did my sexy jitsu because I'm a fagott, but he didn't even flinch! So then I decided that I would feed him some fagott ninja moves to the head and upper torso! By that time, Sekura had put her clothes back on and rushed out of the temple like a coward. Suddenly there was a crowd of Japanese watching the standoff, every one of them slowly grunting in awe, talking in their minds like primitives(Will Naruto win? But this unknown ninja has such power!).

The ninja lunged forward and fed me such a powerful blow that I lost all of my teeth!

(Japanese gong music here)

Everyone was grunting in horror! Naruto was beaten! Afterwards I plunged into a depression and made known that I'm a flaming homosexual, just like everyone else in this show! Ha ha ha ha!

The End

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Hahahahahaha! Up yours, Naruto. Hahahaahaha!