I just love the holidays!!! Don't you??? I just absolutely adore them! And since they're so lovely and wonderful and sweet and happy, I will make sure you have a little bit of angst with your coco! So Happy Holidays my darlings!
It's times like this when I
Truly utterly sincerely
( selfishly cruelly vindictively )
Hope
That you feel
An ounce of what I feel
( but the more the better )
You better fucking miss me
( because you replaced me way too damn fast )
It's days like these
( the days with all of our traditions )
That I miss you the most
Eight years
( eight goddamn years )
Of traditions
That's most of our lives
( considering for a chunk of years we didn't know what traditions even were )
You threw then away
( are you happy now? )
Do you miss me?
Do you miss
How I call every Christmas Eve
( at midnight because then Oh My God it's Christmas! )
The presents
( I've always loved to spoil )
The calls Christmas morning
( my list was always longer and more of the designer label but your stories always beat mine because I was alone and you had family )
How I showed up at your house as soon as the clock stroked twelve
( it was no longer Christmas and I could finally be with my real family )
How I laughed
( because I've always been a little liar )
How I cried
( because it gets so hard to pretend all the time )
Do you miss me at all?
I miss you
I miss you so damn much
( and I don't think I can take it anymore )
The pretty boxes
With their silky boys
And glittery wrapping paper
All look the same
( if they were empty we'd have everything in common )
And the things
The gifts
All look the same now
( you made them special )
And it's so draining
To realize you have no family
( what happened to us? )
I'm so pretty
With my silky hair
And glittering eyes
( I think I'm hollow Caity )
I don't think I can do this anymore
( I'm only allowed to smile )
And I don't think any of this matters
I miss you
( you sure as hell better miss me too )
And I'm giving myself my very own Christmas present
( this is a forever kind of present )
And I'm so tired
( I won't be tired anymore Caity )
Miss me
( please )
Miss me
( I need you to )
Miss me
( please Oh God please )
I love you
( and I won't be around to hurt anymore )
Merry Christmas Caitlyn
