Disclaimer: I do not own any HP characters so please don't sue me.
Hello, my name is Harry Potter. I think I'm wonderful. I am also not the only one who thinks that. Yup, you just ask some random witch or wizard on the street what they think of me and you know what they say? They say "Harry Potter, the boy who lived!" Yup, that's right everybody knows my name which is great because I always wanted to go where everybody knows my name. So I'm pretty famous. Anyone tries to mess with me and I show them my karate moves because I can't bear to have this beautiful face messed with.
I simply DO NOT understand why in the world everybody does not come up to me for my autograph though. Many a time I have set up a table with quite a few of my best pictures and a pen and offer everyone free autographs, but does anyone come up for one, no. I swear, you'd think people would be a little more grateful. I mean, here they've got the opportunity of a lifetime to come get my autograph and they don't take it. Tut tut, all I know is that they're the ones that are gonna be missing out someday.
I also believe that Hogwarts is treating me exceptionally horribly. Do you know where they send me during the summer? They send me to Vernon, Dudley, and Petunia Dursley. Vernon and Dudley are just so large and oily and what if a molecule of oil got in the air and landed on me? THAT COULD RUIN MY COMPLEXION! You'd think they'd understand that I, being so famous, am always getting photo opportunities and must look my absolute best.
(Ron walks in)
Ron: Hi Harry!
Harry: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
R: Harry, what's the matter!?
H: That was TOTALLY unnecessary Ronald Weasley. I know that you love me and would do anything to get a chance to talk to me but I simply do not associate with the average man. You interrupted me from writing about myself and that was a mistake because people just simply do not bother me. Now, if you'd excuse me I must get back to my work.
R: OK mate, whatever you say
My, that boy is strange. He always acts as if we are great chums. He interrupted the famous Harry Potter at his work. He should be ashamed of himself. Of course, I must excuse it, he is, after all, not famous and does not understand the responsibilities in it.
Well, it is 8 pm now on a Friday night so I must go sit at my autograph table and then get some beauty sleep.
I hope you see yourself extremely lucky, after all, I, the famous Harry Potter, just took the time to acquaint myself with you but I must be going. Goodbye!
