A/N: AU details: Japril divorce happens just before the Calzona custody battle. Jackson wants a fresh start and Amelia wants to protect her sobriety, so the two of them accept jobs in different states: Jackson in New York, Amelia in Massachusetts. But of course, they will eventually reappear.

Callie is kind to her ex-wife won just one sole physical custody of their child's best friend. She is kind and gentle and April feels so incredibly undeserving of it all that the tears she's been holding in over the past two hours finally spill their way on out. She holds her breath, desperately trying to suppress the inevitable sobbing that is to come.

"I could get Arizona? She could do this exam if it would make you more comfortable. The tears are kind of making me think that there's something you're not telling me, anyway. And if we're going to make sure you're alright, whoever it is that is checking you out needs to know everything."

"She's in surgery," April sniffles quietly, hoping Callie will just take her vitals, draw some blood, and leave her be.

"Okay, then talk. What's going on here? We're all tired, that doesn't explain you collapsing in the attending's lounge. Jackson left two weeks ago, how have you been coping? Or is that what's going on here. Kepner, are you doing something stupid to cope?"

"Owen."

"You've been screwing Hunt? I mean, Shepherd left, too, so with the way people hop beds in this hospital I guess I shouldn't be surprised. But that doesn't-

"No, I mean can you get Dr. Hunt? If he's not too busy, that is. I'd feel more comfortable if he… no offence."

"None taken, the bond of trauma and all that good shit. Now, if I go looking for him, do you promise to stay right here? If you move, I swear to God, I will have an announcement made on the intercom asking whoever sees you to please return you to me, just like if you were a lost child, do you hear me?"

"I won't move an inch, I promise."

April stares at the ceiling waiting for Owen, pondering how it came to this. Is this what God had wanted for her, or did He give her the perfect setup and she just screwed it all up? Probably the latter, she thinks. Her hand flutters to her abdomen; she's not even sure she can be happy about this. All she ever wanted was a baby, or more accurately a happy baby, but she's not certain that she can keep this baby healthy, even if there are no defects. And that is what is killing her. It goes against everything that she believes in to have an abortion, but what if that is the most right, moral choice to make here? She shudders at the thought, and nearly throws up right in front of her on the floor before she hears a familiar voice.

"April?"

The tears start flowing once more; the sobs cannot be held back as they rock her aching chest.

"Oh April, it's going to be okay. Whatever it is, we're going to make it okay."

She doesn't believe his words for a second, but she's content to let him hold her tightly while she firmly tucks her head into the crook of his neck. Owen is like the brother she never had, she decides. These past few months she's felt like she's outgrown most of her blood family, and she knows that right now she's going to need all the love and support she can get, so maybe letting Owen in isn't the worst idea in the world, even if right now confessing what she's never confessed to anyone besides God feels terrifying and just shy of impossible.

Owen is not her (ex) husband or her mother or her sisters- he is not going to leave her. He loves her, she knows that. Even if she doesn't feel worthy of it, he loves her. And right now, she kind of really needs that. He is a good man in a storm, just like Arizona is, and she just knows that he's not going to run away from this.

"O-Owen," she manages to stutter after the sobs somewhat subside, pulling away from his embrace and wiping at her eyes furiously, "There's something I need to tell you."

"Okay, you can tell me anything. But can I take your vitals while you talk?"

"Of course," she smiles, before taking a deep breath, closing her eyes, and spitting it all out for the first time in her life.

"I got… after Samuel died I got sick. I became obsessed with losing the baby weight and I know it got unhealthy and was probably an eating disorder but I was just hurting so much and I… When I went away on tour I was kind of forced to stop. I mean, the thoughts were still there, but I couldn't really starve myself the way I wanted to or make myself sick so in a way it was over. But then when I came back I was okay for a while but Jackson and I couldn't get back on the same page and I started to lose weight really rapidly again so I went back to the army to literally save myself. And that second time on tour other medics started to catch on and I ended up getting counseling for a while and it helped for the time being. And I guess I should have told Jackson about my… eating disorder… so that maybe he wouldn't have divorced me but now he's gone and I…" she trailed off, once again collapsing into sobs, this time harsher than the last. I'm an anorexic failure, she thought. Why had she thought telling Owen was a good idea? He was going to hate her, and never want to speak to-

"April, oh my god, April, you should've told me. You should've told me sooner," he murmured, scooping her off of the observation table so that he could hold her in his arms. She wrapped her legs around him, comfortable crying herself out in the arms of one of her best friends.

"Shh, remember what I said earlier? We're going to make it okay. Has it gotten bad since you and Jackson divorced and he left for Mt. Sinai? Is that why you almost passed out? You're lucky Torres was there to help, sweetheart."

"Mhmm," she sniffled, "I tr-tried not to fall back into old habits but it's so hard and I'm still trying, Owen, I promise."

"I believe you, I believe you, it's okay."

"So have you not been eating enough? Or purging? Or both?"

"Not eating enough, mostly. But Owen there's something else… That I just found out a few hours ago…"

'What is it? You can tell me. I'm not going anywhere"

"Owen I'm-

"What's going on? I just got of surgery and Callie approached me and I thought she was going to ask about Sofia but she said that April… Oh god you're crying. BOTH of you are crying. What's wrong are you sick? Someone talk to me!"

"I'm glad you're here Arizona, well one, because you're my best friend, but also because I have an eating disorder and I just found out I'm pregnant and I don't know if I've hurt my baby or not."

"Eating disorder? You have…

And then, in true good man in a storm fashion, she put her shock and feelings on the matter to the side for the moment and did what she knew needed to be done for her friend.

"Okay, Owen you get an IV of fluids set up for April and then go get Deluca and have him run a full workup on April. I live with him, so he will keep quiet knowing that I can make his life a living hell if he says one word of gossip about this. Once you get him to come take her blood, you come back here and hold April's hand while I perform an ultrasound. April, you do your best to stay calm, okay? Owen, Andrew, and I are going to take amazing care of you. Now are we clear?"

"Clear, I'm on it."

"Clear," April whispered, with a few tears spilling from her eyes.

Arizona wiped the tears away, soothingly murmuring words that April would here again and again over the next nine months and beyond.

"One step at a time, April."