Disclaimer: Don't own them...and that's a good thing.
Notes: A pet challenge from a mailing list.
In Need Of Care
He never got any alone time. Between doctors appointments, physical therapy sessions and Hutch hovering around him the rest of the time there were no opportunities for alone time. Just to relax without having someone watching him or talking to him, or taking care of him. It was one of the reason's he'd started snapping at Hutch whenever he asked if he needed anything.
"Yes, I need you to get off my back for a second." Starsky would reply and Hutch would take his anger for what it was and leave the room for a few minutes. It never helped, Starsky knew he hadn't gone far and was still within hearing range. The door was always left slightly ajar.
It wasn't really the attention that bothered him, but what it was all aimed at. Not his personality or his looks, but the fact he couldn't do much for himself while he recovered from three bullets and a lot of surgical repair work. The doctors watched his body for signs of healing, the physical therapist watched the healing of his muscles and stamina and Hutch watched everything else. It made him feel like a new born baby, who still had to be protected from the world and never allowed out of its mother's sight in fear of something happening to it.
It was the same for him, but instead of crying he could verbally complain and he did on a regular basis.
"Would you stop watching me, I'm not gonna fall over." Starsky said as he walked the short distance from the kitchen to the couch. He'd just enjoyed another bland lunch of homemade vegetable soup with no herbs or spices leaving it with very little taste.
"You shouldn't use you right arm to guide you, it's not strong enough yet…"
"Well, I'm sure this will help strength it up." Starsky snapped.
Hutch sighed, something he had started doing a lot in the last two weeks since Starsky got home.
"It's almost time for you meds," he said calmly.
"Why don't you take them for me, since I can't do a thing for myself." He knew he was being difficult, but the anger just came easily to him.
"Starsk, you gave me that line yesterday." Hutch said while he lined up the pills on the table. "If you're going to keep snapping at me at least come up with some new material."
Starsky grunted and snatched the first couple of pills from Hutch's hand. He swallowed them down with some water and reached for the next two. Taking his medication made the situation worse. The painkillers took away the edge of the pain, but they also left him tired, lethargic and in more need of assistance.
Hutch turned the TV on and retreated to the bedroom to sort out the laundry, keeping the bedroom door ajar. Starsky went through his usual few post snappy moments thinking about whether he should apologise to Hutch for his behavior, but he knew that it wouldn't matter as he would probably snap at the first thing Hutch said when he returned. He didn't like being hostile with Hutch, after all without him he'd be stuck in a rehab centre, being looked down upon by over patronizing nurse or so he believed.
Hutch came back with an armful for dirty shirts and sweat pants. He ignored Starsky until the washing machine started up and found himself with no other chores to do.
"Didn't you want to watch the ball game?" Hutch asked.
"So now you're gonna tell me what to watch as well, huh?"
Hutch come round the front of the couch and turned off the television.
"Okay, Starsk, I've had enough of this attitude of yours," he said, keeping his voice low, but firm. "I see that you're frustrated with all this, but that doesn't give you the right to take all your anger out on me, I don't deserve it."
"Then leave me alone," Starsky shouted. "I don't need you watching me every second of the day."
"Right now, buddy, you do and the sooner you get that into your skull and accept it the lot happier we both will be."
Starsky tried getting up, but didn't have enough strength in his right arm. "As long as I have to be looked after like a damn baby I won't be happy, you better accept that."
Hutch rubbed his eyes, it was clear to tell that he was bother emotionally and physically tired.
"If that's the way it's going to be, then fine." Hutch marched his tired body out of the room and slammed the door. It was a minor victory in Starsky's books, but also a very hollow one. He slumped back against the cushions and just tried to enjoy the silence for a moment before his guilt set in.
The doorbell rang just as Starsky was falling asleep and Hutch emerged from the bedroom to answer the door. It was Huggy.
"Hey, man, I hear bad things are going down here."
Hutch let the man in without commenting.
"What's going on?" Starsky asked.
"You wanted me to leave you alone, so I'm going out for a few hours." He grabbed his
coat and gave Huggy a few quick instructions. Starsky stayed quiet; mentally agreeing that it was probably for the best. His guilt had almost given him the guts to apologise, but at this point it wasn't really enough.
"Try not to give Huggy a hard time." Hutch said and ducked out the door before Starsky could think of anything to say.
Huggy smiled and took a seat on the couch next to Starsky.
"Now, before you make some wise ass crack about not needed a babysitter, I'll have you know right now that I'm here as the friendly traveling bartender." He took a bottle of root beer out of the inside pocket of his jacket. "So, tell me what's up?"
Starsky untwisted the cap and took a small sip. It was flat, but still cold. "You ever see a tiger pacing in a cage, wishing it was back in the wilderness, free to roam."
"Yeah."
"Well, imagine that tiger was wounded as well as trapped. That's how I feel." He gulped down some more of his drink. "I feel like a wounded animal trapped inside a cage and everyone's staring at me all the time. If you felt like that all the time wouldn't you get a little snappy?"
Huggy nodded. "I suppose I would, but it's not fair to take all that out on Hutch, all this is tough on him too. I mean, I don't know if you've noticed, but on bad days I've seen corpse's look healthier."
Starsky had noticed, but he was too embarrassed to confess.
"The real problem is, I don't know what to do to make the situation better. I'm afraid if I push him too hard he's just going to give up and send me away to a rehab centre."
"Hey, man, you know Hutch won't do that no matter how much a pain in the ass you become."
Starsky finished off the rest of his drink in silence, while trying to think of solutions to their situation, but he knew that nothing was going to change, until he got strong enough to care for himself and no one was giving him any definite answers on when that might be.
It was almost dinner time when Hutch came back. Huggy was in the kitchen searching through the cupboards for something to put together when Hutch entered the house.
And he wasn't alone.
"Hey, Rosie." Starsky summoning up a big grin especially for her. The young girl smiled back and then looked up at Hutch.
"While I was out I had a thought, Hutch began. "If I was in your place I wouldn't like people watching me all day and not being able to do much about it, so I went to talk to Rosie and we came up with a plan."
He nudged the little girl forwards and Starsky became aware that she was holding something behind her back.
"Uncle Ken said you don't like people looking after you so until you're better and can look after yourself again, you can look after Genie." From behind her back she produced a big cage and inside was a fluffy ball curled up in the corner. At a distance it was hard to tell what animal the furry ball was but Rosie brought the cage closer and placed it on the table in front of him. It was a guinea pig. Rosie opened the cage door and pulled out her struggling pet and handed him to Starsky.
The guinea pig didn't want to stay in Starsky's hands, but he was careful not to let the scared thing escape. She had light, shaggy hair, a lot like the one Starsky had bought a couple of years ago and adorable little cheeks. He placed her on his stomach and watched as she tried to run down his legs, but he scooped her back up and held her gently against his chest
"You'll take good care of her, won't you?" Rosie asked.
Starsky smiled as he fussed over the fur ball. He turned his gaze onto the sweet young girl and nodded.
"I'll look after her." He looked past Rosie to Hutch who was smiling, something he hadn't done a lot in the last couple of weeks and without saying a word he let his own smile tell Hutch just how much what he'd gone meant to him.
He still needed care, but now he wasn't the only one.
