AN: I wrote this a long, long time ago, but then I lost it, so I tried to rewrite it the best I could.

Havik was strolling through Chaosrealm when he noticed a strange aura coming from one of the portals. Knowing that Shujinko liked to come and visit on occasion, he decided to wait for his arrival.

What he saw wasn't Shujinko, however. It wasn't even human(oid): it was bright red; possessed big, meaty claws; it was quite round; and it appeared to wear its skeleton outside of its body.

"The fuck is you," Havik asked with hostility creeping into his voice, and a look of disgust coming onto his face.

"I'm Mr. Krabs, I come in search of money," the creature responded.

"I see. Do me a favour, and I will try to give you some of this 'money."

"I don't want to labour for my money!"

"You won't… I actually had something else in mind for you: it involves me using your body.'

"Why not? As long as I get me money in the end… Besides, it's been real lonely since Pearl's mum left."

"Have a seat over by that tree," the bishop commanded. Once the crustacean had done so, Havik pulled down his pants, freeing his one-eyed trouser snake. While idly stroking himself, he walked to the other, gripping an eyestalk into each hand. He then proceeded to position himself between them, and began thrusting his hips. With this, he asked: "Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?"

He continued this for a few moments, and then he had a thought.

"I wonder how these eyestalks will feel in my asshole," he asked aloud.

"Wouldn't that make me go blind?"

"As long as you don't open your eyes when you're inside, no."

"O-kay."

With that, the Chaosrealmer pulled away, gesturing for Mr. Krabs to get down onto all fours. When he had done so, Havik spat into his hand, rubbing all over the other's eyes in order to get them lubricated. He, too, got down onto all fours, and guided the eyes into his ass. The crab began to move his head back and forth, and the bishop arched his hips in order to assist with the thrusting motion.

Again, the bishop asked, "Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?"

Mr. Krabs decided to be adventurous and opened his eyes, but he couldn't see much; for it was too dark. "Oh, I'm feeling it," he screamed in humiliation.

He couldn't hold in his groans, and came not too soon after.

When the two of them moved away from each other, the cleric decided to ask, "What was that jar I saw you had earlier?"

"Oh, that was the secret formula for my Krabby Patties. Which I would never give to anyone!"

"I'm sure I'll find out, anyway, somehow."

"Oh really, you want to find out? Well, here it is," Mr. Krabs bellowed before ramming the jar into Havik's ass. The pressure of his rectum caused it to shatter, and he pulled out the piece of paper.

It read: "shit and cum."

"Well, take out the shit, and I think that would actually be quite delicious,"

"Now that you know my secret formula, there's only one thing I can do."

With that, the crustacean swiftly grabbed Havik's neck, placing an increasing amount of pressure onto it before he eventually suffocated. Krabs dropped his body and ran with whatever dignity he still had.

A passerby observed the bleeding anus of the dead cleric and murmured, "someone was most certainly into some very kinky shit."