Title: Pick Me Up a Compliment

Pairing: Kakuzu/Hidan

Summary: Hidan wants to know if Kakuzu would buy him drinks in bars.

Warning: none I suppose. Homoness. FLUFF, not a serious fic at all. OOC-ness too I suppose.

A/N: inspired by the song "Boys Boys Boys" by Lady GaGa

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters Kakuzu and Hidan. I do not own the song "Boys Boys Boys". I lay no claim and am not getting money from this.


"…Boys Boys Boys! Buy us drinks in bars…"

"Hey, 'Kuzu?" the pale man said lightly, asking sweetly and softly as opposed to his usual brash demands.

"Yeah?" the beckoned man replied, not looking up from where he sat counting his money.

"If you saw me in a bar and didn't know me, and you wanted to pick me up, would you buy me drinks?" Hidan asked.

Kakuzu paused, looking up at the wall his desk was pushed up against to think about what the man behind him said.

"…Are you fishing for compliments or do you want the truth?" he asked, and returned to his counting.

Hidan thought about this; what was he in the mood for?

"Mm, the truth I guess, but I'd love it if the truth also happened to be a compliment." he finished happily, giving the man's strong, shirtless back a grin.

"Well if you want the truth, no." Kakuzu said.

Hidan pouted. "What would you do, then, if you were trying to pick me up?"

"I wouldn't be trying to pick you up. I'd just take you home and rape you. You know that." Kakuzu said honestly, and Hidan gave a knowing nod, thinking, 'Yeah I do know that.'

"Ok, but what if I was the most gorgeous thing you'd ever laid eyes on?" Hidan asked, determined to get a truthful compliment from his partner yet.

"You are the most gorgeous thing I'd ever laid eyes on," Kakuzu said, tying a rubber band around a counted stack of bills and marking the total so far on his little sheet of paper. He picked up another loose pile of cash for him to count and organize. Gosh, but this was so fun!

When Hidan heard the comment, he felt his heart give a particularly loud thud and the sweetest smile spread across his face as he looked at his partner adoringly. "Really?" he asked.

"No." came Kakuzu's off-putting remark. Hidan deflated and with a sigh and a low "You suck," he sat down on his bed.

"…You're the second most gorgeous thing." Kakuzu said. Hidan looked up again to his partner's wide, stitched-up back, interest piqued.

"Oh? And who's the first?" Hidan asked.

"Money." Kakuzu said simply. It took Hidan a moment to register what had been said and what that meant.

"I don't know whether I should be appalled, unsurprised, or extremely flattered." Hidan muttered.

"Pick whichever one will be most sexually beneficial to me," Kakuzu said, finishing up his last precious stack, marking it up, and tallying the totals. 'Ahh… 10% increase, wonderful.' he thought joyously. This definitely put him in a good mood.

"Ok," Hidan said, grinning before seating himself on Kakuzu's lap and removing the mask.

END