I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes 'til I touch the sky
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance; Make a change
And break away...
Breakaway – Kelly Clarkson
- Prelude -
"Tsunade-hime, one of the chuunins from Team Kakashi wishes to speak with you." Tsunade simply rolled her eyes, irritated at her substitute secretary already after less than a full day of having to listen to her. There was only one chuunin assigned Team Kakashi, and it was fairly common knowledge by now that she was Tsunade's apprentice before she was a member of any shinobi cell.
"So let her in, I don't have all day."
"Gomenasai, Tsunade-hime." At least she's a polite little thing.
The thought barely had time to cross Tsunade's mind before Sakura gingerly entered the room, closing the door softly behind her. Tsunade barely registered the faint color tinting the girl's cheeks before she returned to the aggravating pile of paperwork that plagued her desk incessantly and gave a hefty sigh. Reaching down into her desk drawer, she lifted out a large ceramic jug and shot a warning glare at the abnormally nervous young kunoichi quietly situated on the other side of her desk.
"This doesn't get back to Shizune." Sakura shook her head, an act which Tsunade took as a sign of omitted approval, or at least a silent agreement. She wouldn't say anything.
Taking a large swig straight from the jug before delving into the pile of papers and extracting a bundle of files that were taped together and made up the bulk of the mess, Tsunade regarded her watchful apprentice in silence, inviting her to reveal what might be on her mind at this advancing hour of the evening.
"Tsunade-shishou... I wish to resign from Team Kakashi immediately."
Tsunade nearly choked at her pupil's words and the strong conviction in her stance. Whatever Tsunade had been expecting, it certainly hadn't been anything like that.
"What the hell, Sakura? Why on earth would you want to leave your team now, of all times?" The last Tsunade had heard, Sakura had been acclimating well to the new additions to her team, but a nagging suspicion dug at the back of her mind, and she voiced it just before the girl could open her mouth to speak. "If this has something to do with what happened in Orochimaru's lair, I'm not removing you. You really should begin to accept—"
"It's not that." The girl coughed softly into her gloved fist, clearing her throat as Tsunade kept one eye on her, abandoning her paperwork for the moment with no small measure of glee. "I just feel that my training could be better continued outside of the village, that's all."
"Now isn't really the time, Sakura. Not with the way our enemies are moving, we need you here." The look of pain and severity that the young girl shot her was slightly dismaying, and Tsunade took another drink of sake while Sakura continued to plead her case.
"Shishou, I understand that and would fully respect your orders if you called me back into the ranks, but for now I really need to train on my own. Away from the village." The slight desperation in her voice and deepening color tinting her cheeks led Tsunade to a conclusion that she wished it hadn't. "Please understand, I wouldn't do this if I didn't need to."
Either something had gone completely and irrevocably wrong with the dynamic on her team, or there was something elsewhere that was bothering Sakura enough to want to leave the village. But, teenage girls could be incredibly guarded and protective towards their secrets, moreso than anyone else, and it wasn't likely that Tsunade would be able to extract any real reasons from her. If she made the girl stay, she might be resentful of the order... but if she let her leave, there might be a whole lot more involved with the repercussions than just Sakura's feelings.
"Have you spoken with your parents about this?"
Sakura nodded purposefully. "My mother says it will be an incredible opportunity for me."
Tsunade inwardly frowned, making a mental note to wring the woman's neck for making her decision that much more difficult. "And your father? What does he have to say about this?"
A look of unmistakable disdain crossed the young girl's face as she shrugged, shaking her head slightly. "He doesn't care one way or another."
It wouldn't surprise Tsunade if that statement was entirely true, all things considered, but she was grasping at straws to find a reason to keep the girl in the village. When she couldn't think of anything particularly pertinent, she let out a heavy sigh of resignation and took another long drink out of the jug sitting next to her.
"...Are you going to tell your teammates that you're leaving, or are you going to let Naruto break down my door looking for you?" Sakura actually gave the older woman a chastising smile.
"I'll be leaving a letter for everyone who needs to know, so if Naruto comes to break down your door, it won't be because he's looking for me." Tsunade nodded grimly, resigned to the fact that she was going to have to let the girl go. She wasn't exactly a child anymore after all, and she should be allowed the same chances as her teammates and predecessors if she wished. She'd be damned if she was going to let the girl go without some reigns though.
"Alright, I'll process the paperwork to remove you from our active ranks and you'll have to sign a contract that will go in your record and give you up to ten years of freedom outside of the village. If you don't return to renew it, you'll be branded as a missing-nin, is that clear?" Sakura bolted to a fully upright stance in alarm, staring at her mentor in undisguised shock.
"I'm not planning to be gone that long!" A dry chuckle escaped the older kunoichi's lips.
"Duly noted. Nonetheless, you still have to sign it and adhere to the rules, got it?" Sakura nodded sharply and exuberantly.
"Right!"
Looking upon her student with more than a bit of fondness, Tsunade couldn't help but admire how much the girl had grown; in spirit, if not much in body. She'd be alright on her own.
"Alright then, let's find you that contract." Seeing the excitement light up the girl's eyes, Tsunade felt the need to add her own sentimental advice to what had already been said.
"Remember Sakura, that you are an exceptional kunoichi. Whatever you do, do it with confidence and I have no doubt that your training will serve you well."
Sakura was nervous and giddy as she delivered letters of cheerful farewell to the few friends she thought needed to know about her departure directly, rather than hearing about it through Konoha's extensive grapevine.
This late at night most of them had been asleep, which had suited Sakura's purposes just fine. In person, the goodbyes might just have been too difficult for her to handle, but she knew how badly she needed to leave the village. In particular, she couldn't have Naruto's overenthusiastic protectiveness stand in her way... and if Ino were to actually confront her about it, no doubt the blond would also try and keep her here... This way was just more sensible, and less painful.
For both Naruto and Ino's letters, it had been easy to pick the lock on their apartment door and bedroom window, respectively. She didn't know where Sai or Yamato-taichou lived, so she had simply left the letters addressed to them at jounin HQ, in the older of the two's mailbox. Being from Root, Sai didn't have a mailbox for her to leave his letter in, so she figured that it wouldn't be a bad idea to leave it with Yamato's letter.
Kakashi was a little more difficult. She knew where he lived, but she also knew that he wouldn't be going back home for several more days due to his condition. He obviously never checked his mailbox in jounin HQ, the dust and cobwebs covering the paper in it being enough evidence for her to deduce that it hadn't been emptied in months, probably even years, and then there was still the issue regarding him being detained within the hospital temporarily.
She could just leave the letter at the front desk of the hospital and request it be delivered to him, but most of the medics and nurses were nosy, gossipy busybodies who would take one look at the letter and rip it apart like a pack of ravenous wolves, poking their noses where they didn't belong and making up stories to flood the rumor mill the next day and for weeks to come. She wouldn't subject her sensei to dealing with that just because she didn't want to risk a confrontation, so in the end she just decided to pray that he was sleeping when she visited, so that she could leave him the letter and depart quickly; A completely clean break.
Walking down the halls of the hospital silently, Sakura found her anxiety mounting as she dragged her feet, trying to stall for time while she approached her teammate's recovery room. There wasn't much else she could do, because she didn't want anyone else to read the letter, but she didn't want to have to say goodbye and walk away if she happened to wake him, or if he was awake when she entered the room.
Standing in front of his door she hesitated before entering, her hand poised just above the door handle while her mind tried to work up the courage to actually open it and walk in. It took the blunt and sensible reminder that if she didn't go in she'd be standing out here forever to get her to move, steeling herself and pushing open the door as silently as she could.
Realizing as she adjusted to the dark that he was asleep, she let out a quiet breath that she had been holding and approached the bedside table, fully intent on just leaving the envelope and getting the hell out of there before he woke up. Eying the orange novels stacked haphazardly on the table with more than a little distaste, Sakura piled them a little more neatly to make room and laid the letter neatly on the table.
Turning to leave as quietly as she came, Sakura was forced to swallow any relief she might have felt as she blanched and quickly shifted her gaze to the bed and then back at the door, not having expected to see double.
"You shouldn't sneak around in the dark, Sakura-chan. Someone might think you're up to something." Sakura covered her eyes quickly as the light was flicked on, cursing more sharply than was strictly necessary at the unexpected brightness and backing up into the table behind her, nearly toppling it.
"What the hell are you doing out of bed and sneaking up on me?!" One look at the bed through squinted eyes revealed nothing to be there, and she openly glared at the man who knew very well that he should be in that bed, resting. He merely regarded her in mild interest, hands in his pockets while he limped back to his bed.
"What are you doing in my room at two in the morning, Sakura-chan?" As her irritation faded to be replaced with far more inappropriate and out-of-place emotions, she crossed her arms over her small chest and huffed, using the gesture as a reason not to look at him and feigning continued aggravation to mask her blush.
"I thought it would be a good idea to deliver news of my resignation from the team in letter form, seeing as you were supposed to be sleeping." More emotion than she normally knew him to show appeared in his wide-eyed surprise, but disappeared as quickly as it came.
"Why are you resigning from the team, and again, why two in the morning? You should be sleeping." Her gaze averted to the floor momentarily before she directed it back upwards, intent on not showing any measure of weakness. She couldn't.
"I'm leaving the village to train, Sensei, and I'm leaving at dawn. I delivered letters to the rest of the team to receive when they woke up too." She didn't expect him to show any sign that he even cared, and so she wasn't disappointed at his lack of any tangible expression. That was just the way he was, and actually made the corner of her mouth lift in a slight smirk.
"Is that so? Well, I won't keep you then. Have fun, Sakura-chan." Sakura raised an eyebrow in curiosity, recognizing his detachment as abnormal, even for him. If he weren't... well, him, she might suspect that he was actually hurt or upset by her leaving, but that most likely wasn't the case. He was probably just miffed that he'd have to put up with two feuding morons with no help now.
"Sleep well, Sensei, and try not to kill Naruto and Sai. They really just don't know any better." She paused before she left, wondering whether she should say anything else before she left until she decided that saying what was on her mind wouldn't be a good idea. She'd probably regret it later on.
She had turned off the light and almost closed the door behind her before she heard him say anything else, and in fact thought she had imagined it. "Don't stay away forever, Sakura. The team won't be the same without you."
She bit her lip softly as a blush washed up over her face, not turning when she replied so that he wouldn't see. "I'm not planning on being gone long, Sensei. Two, maybe three years tops. You'll get along fine without me."
She couldn't make herself say goodbye and he simply gave a short, typical salute as she shut the door completely, etching him into her memory for what was going to be a very long training journey. She needed to do this. Not only for herself, but for everyone else too. She wanted to get stronger, to catch up to the rest of her team, but she couldn't do it here. She was going crazy here, distracted way beyond any point Sasuke had ever driven her to, ever.
"So, did she go for it?" Sakura barely had time to step into her house before she was accosted.
"Yeah, she said I could go. I already delivered my goodbye letters to the team and Ino." Swept into a hug, Sakura smiled softly into her mother's shoulder.
"I think this is going to be good for you, sweetie, but not for the reasons you think." Hugging her mother softly before letting go and stepping back, Sakura couldn't help but wonder what she meant. The smile on her mother's face was slightly forced though, and Sakura could see the faint sheen of tears in her brown eyes.
"You're growing up so fast, nobody's even going to recognize you when you get back..." Sakura quirked a skeptical smirk, fighting back tears herself. She was going to miss her family as much as she was going to miss her friends.
"Mom, nobody's going to forget pink hair, I don't care how fast I grow. It's just not going to happen." Her mother shook her head, wiping her cheek absently as she smiled fondly at Sakura.
"That's not what I meant, Sakura. You're going to learn a lot out there, and you're going to change because of it. We'll see that you're still the same beautiful girl who left, but... maybe you won't be." Seemingly understanding her daughter's quizzical expression, she simply shook her head a bit, knowing that she was a little too young to completely understand. "Forget about it. Just always be yourself and don't do anything I wouldn't, okay? Have fun, sweetie."
Once again enthusiastic and at the same time apprehensive, Sakura swept her mother into a strong hug again, letting the older woman slip her canvas knapsack onto her shoulders for her, like she had when Sakura was a child attending the academy. They had made every preparation earlier, ready for Sakura to leave as soon as she had been given permission to do so.
"I love you, Mom. I'll be back soon, alright? Don't worry about me."
"I'll try not to, but you can't really ask that of me, sweetie, I'm your mother. Now, just be careful where you travel, alright? Fire country has many enemies and they don't practice discretion towards Leaf shinobi. ...I'll miss you, sweetie."
"I'll miss you too, Mom. Say goodbye to Daddy for me." Turning reluctantly, Sakura felt like her feet were made of lead as she walked out the door and towards the village gates. She knew it wouldn't be so difficult once she was gone, but it did hurt now. She was torn between her decision to leave and her desire to stay with everything she had known all her life; her friends, her family and her village.
She brightened up as she reminded herself that she wouldn't be gone forever, only a few years. Just long enough to get over silly crushes and get stronger. Just long enough to grow up and figure out who she really was. Just long enough...
