Sonic kissed Snoop Lion gently on the lips.
"Smoke weed every day."
Sonic gasped as he awoke on the toilet. He grunted as he suddenly took dat dank, sexy shit. Now he remembered: he had fallen asleep on the toilet trying to shit because he was so constipated. He felt like he was gonna pop out a giant log like a big ass baby out of mommer's birth canal until he felt da pain of irritable bowels. He had realized how much his health insurance had failed him. He could not get his prolapsed vagina fixed because they refused to bill him his $20 copay. Sonic could only blame the Obummer administration and the fall of America's once conservative values.
The sky had turned a massive purple asshole. As lightning struck through the very lava core of the Earth, it erupted, causing fiery hot molten lava to flow everywhere and burned everyone's skin, turning them into ashes blown away in the wind.
Sonic awoke to find himself in a dark room, the only source of light coming from a small lightbulb. He heard sobbing and looked to his side.
"Knuckles?" Sonic asked. "Why are you crying? Is it because I stuck big dick in your mom's sexy puss last night and caused hundred orgasm?"
"My username," he whispered.
"...yes?"
"xoxo420vladputinsexgod666waifuxoxo"
"Mmmm yeah what do you mean?"
"Well Sonic, Putin is just so gosh darn sexy MMMMMM MMMMM I CANNOT STAND IT. I WANT HIM TO ANAL PLUNDER ME YA HEAR?"
Whitened, creamy panties.
Turnt color of reddened paint.
Form a sliver to my back.
Being produced from my taint.
"It hurts so much that I don't have the money to afford pads or tampons. That I am like those girls in impoverished countries. I am a third world WOman now."
Eggman's robots busted open the door. Knuckles shouted bloody murder as one of them broke his left leg with a sickening crack. He was then taken away by the robots.
"KNUCKLES! NOOOOOOOO!" Sonic cried.
After the robots exited the room, another figure entered. Sonic could see the outlines of his bulbous and sensual rotund body.
"Eggman?" Sonic whispered.
Eggman's footsteps as he walked over to the blue hedgehog. He lifted up his chin with his finger.
"Yes, Sonique. It's me. EGGMAN." Eggman replied.
"What do you want from me?" Sonic asked.
"You cannot escape my grasps now, you stupid hedgehog," Eggman whispered, massaging Sonic's balls.
"W-what are you doing?" Sonic said. "Stop." Sonic quivered.
"A year before, I had bumped uglies with a woman not much older than I, or so I had thought. I then found out that she was my biological mother, and that I am a descendant of Jonathan Swift, the man who wrote A Modest Proposal. For my inheritance, I was given the $20 that I had used to wipe myself the other day and had paid it to a 70 year old escort. He decided to take the time to write me a letter," said Eggman.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FLAMING FLAMINGO!"
Eggman stuck his hand onto Sonic's thing.
"The only way to destroy you," Eggman whispered menacingly, "is to FUCK YOU!"
Eggman bit down onto Sonic's hedgehog testicle and Sonic cried out as his sensitivee organ was desroyed.
Then Eggman bent him over.
"AYYYYYY" Eggman cried as he pounded his hardened member into SOnic's tight asshole over and over again until his anal walls prolapsed.
"Hey, now you and I have something in common!" Eggman cried as he turned over to see his red rose colored anal walls protrude from his delicate puckered hole.
"You see, dear Sonic, I have this condition. The walls of my rectum collapse and stick out of my anus." He bucked his backside to Sonic as the prolapse swished, some blood splattering onto Sonic's face.
Eggman came continued to furiously pump himself into Sonic's man vagina and came INSIDE.
"Oh God, why would you do that?" Sonic cried.
"Creampie," replied Eggman.
Nine months later, the fetus in Sonic's womb had fully developed.
"HEEELPP MY WATER IS BREAKING!" Sonic cried.
"I will rush you to the hospital," Eggman said.
But they couldn't make it to the hospital because they got lost in the woods!
"AAAAHH IT'S COMING!" Sonic screamed.
"Step aside! I am a registered nurse!" Eggman shouted. "Now push Sonic. PUSH!"
Sonic grunted, panting as he sprouted an erection from the force. Eggman masturbated Sonic to ease the tension.
"UUUUURRRGGGHHHH!" Sonic cried as his heart was racing and he was sweating but he was distracted from the pain because of Eggman jerking him off.
A furry and slimy head had slid from his sphincter. Another contraction followed, and Sonic screamed as the whole baby was finally pushed out as Sonic bucked his hips and jizzed all over the baby's head. But Sonic couldn't control his bowels! So following it was a thick and juicy turd that landed on its head.
"Fuck, so hot," Eggman said as he whipped out his erection and fucked that turd so hard it splattered all over the walls.
The baby was a fucking mutant hedgehog-human hybrid. Its features were malformed, but it was functioning. It started to cry. Eggman fucked that baby until it bled and screamed so loud that it exploded all over the walls. Sonic quickly gave Eggman a handy as he came all over the infant's battered remains.
"Damn, that was good," Eggman panted.
Sonic's asshole was stretched out to six times its size. "It sure was! But now I have no more baby!"
"Then we will try for another!" Eggman winked.
Sonic's only hope was to travel to another world. He did and landed in...New York City.
Up in a small but expensive apartment, a young couple was arguing.
"Wow, Trip. It looks like we've been screwed again. I can't believe I wasted my half of the rent on you. I hope you get evicted and fucking die you waste of space."
"Grace you huge tittied bitch. I have wished you dead for a good many, many years. I have dreamed of slitting your throat and stabbing you up your fucking STD riddled cunt every single day. I have tried to commit suicide because of you. You have ruined my existence, you miserable, vapid cunt."
"OOOH MY HOD SHUT UP TRIP YOU NEVER STOP TALKING!"
"I'M GONNA STEB YOU!" Trip cried as he produced a machete from his pocket and charged at Grace.
"Not so fast!" Sonic cried. "Or should I say, I'M SO FAST!"
"DRATS! FOILED AGAIN!" Trip cried as he died.
