~* I Drove All Night *~
by: Princess Cora
Part 1 – What in this world keeps us from falling apart?
When Remus had first given Harry his mother's car, it had been almost too painful to look at. He could see the Marauders, older than his fifth-year image of them, younger than the adults in pictures, sitting in their traditional seats. Lily, as Remus laughingly had told him, would be sitting behind the wheel, red hair flying, music turned up, for the car was her territory. James always sat right next to her, Sirius right behind him, and everyone else squeezed in the other two seats somehow. Lily's little red convertible was a Muggle car, so fitting more than three people in the back was no picnic. "Ha ha, we had great times..." Remus had said remembering those days. It had been sitting in Remus's garage, completely useless, until Harry's sixth year, when someone decided that Harry should learn to drive. But memories had stained his enjoyment of the beautiful car, right up until three months ago, when Harry finally got his full license after turning nineteen. The difference was the night – for somehow an empty highway, a cool breeze, and a sweet melody served to take his mind off the pain of loss and remember the happy times.
There was a lot of loss in Harry Potter's life. First – his parents. Though he had been too young to remember more than a flash of green light, the absence of a mother and a father that had set the stage for Harry's life so far, stung him every single day. Secondly, there was Sirius. The first (and only) real father figure he had known had died when Harry was only fifteen. The memory and the guilt of that death still weighed upon his shoulders. In destroying Voldemort Harry had avenged his parents, but no matter what anyone said, Sirius's death was partly his fault.
The third death was the worst. Even if Sirius had been the closest thing to a father to Harry, ever since that pivotal fifth year, Dumbledore had been more than that. He was a friend, a confidant, a grandfather, and the one who always had the answers. Though Harry retained no lingering guilt over Dumbledore's heroic demise – it had even been necessary, for it gave Harry the opening he needed to destroy Voldemort once and for all – the emptiness of Hogwarts without Professor Dumbledore, the confusion, the loss... those would be with him for a long time yet.
And then...
The last month and a half of Harry's final year at Hogwarts had been a hollow shell of memories, mingled with the relief of the Dark Lord's defeat. However, Harry could not stop thinking about all the sacrifices made in the name of Voldemort, with a burning hatred that was barely justified by killing him. Harry was in pieces – and if it hadn't been for Draco Malfoy, Harry might never have put himself together.
Draco had suffered losses too – a mother, a father, an entire mindset. Draco had grown up believing that he was the center of the universe, that a Malfoy Is Always Right, that evil is The Way To Be...
It had been love. They'd never said it, but something that deep, that emotional (as well as physical)...went beyond simple attraction. Draco had been a friend, a companion, and someone who would ease Harry's pain with his own, as Harry would ease Draco's. But the Ministry of Magic was not as forgiving. They believed in the old adage, "The apple never falls far from the tree," and had put the young Malfoy on their growing Wanted list.
So Draco had disappeared. Completely. He graduated from Hogwarts, said his normal "graduation goodbyes" to the small group of friends that accepted him, told them that he had been admitted into the Unseen University, and disappeared. No one had seen or heard anything about him aside from the Wanted posters and the like. He was now the only "spawn of evil" that the Aurors had not caught yet.
Harry usually tried to push Draco to the back of his mind, but every now and then loneliness would rear it's ugly head and send a tremor of loss and desire through his body. Draco should have been there when Harry, Ron, and Hermione bought a cottage outside Devon. He should have been there when Harry finally got his license. He should have been there on all those nighttime drives down empty highways. He should have woken up next to Harry every morning for a year now. He should be sitting right next to Harry at the breakfast table...
"Harry? Harry? Are you in there?" the kitchen suddenly swam into focus. Hermione was waving a hand in front of his face.
Harry shook his head and picked up his fork again. "Yeah, yeah, I'm all right."
Hermione smiled and finished putting her coat on. "Good. Well... See you all this evening!" Hermione was studying at the Unseen University – a very selective worldwide wizarding college. She and Draco were the only two students that had been accepted from Hogwarts this year. She gave Harry a little hug around the shoulders and Ron a quick goodbye kiss.
"Harry... get some sleep, all right?" She and Ron exchanged a Look before she swept out of the door and was gone.
*~*~*~*
Hermione checked her watch as she walked to the train station, debating whether she had time to check in with Ginny before her first class. The question was answered for her as Ginny's barn owl came swooping down over her, in a Muggle street, in broad daylight. The owl dropped a note on her head and took off.
She opened the square of parchment carefully.
Herm~
I think we found him.
~Gin
Hermione stuffed the paper into her pocket and quickly changed her direction to Ginny and Luna's flat. When she got there, Ginny didn't waste time in greetings. "I just got word – it's definitely him."
For the past year, while the Aurors had been searching for Draco, a group of loyal friends had conducted the real search for the elusive Draco Malfoy. Ever since Ginny's graduation, she had taken over the project, and in the past four months they'd come closer to finding him than in the entire year before. Ginny kept things running in a tight system – only she knew everyone who was involved, though there must have been a few Aurors because the Ministry was always following false leads.
Hermione, with pure force of will, calmed her heart rate back to a normal level. "Where is he?"
"It was as we had suspected. He was here in Britain the whole time, living under a well-protected glamour. Your research was put to good use!"
Hermione smiled. Her part of the operation was researching – what Draco could be doing to disguise or hide himself, and any way of finding him in spite of the protections. Those long hours of studying were finally paying off!
Ginny handed her a folded paper. "You know the deal – memorize and burn." Hermione nodded, reading. "Oh and one more thing – do we tell Harry?"
Hermione looked up, an incredulous expression on her face. "Why wouldn't we!?"
Ginny looked slightly uncomfortable. "Well... it's just that the Aurors are getting harder and harder to sidetrack, and…if Harry gets wind of this, he might do something... stupid. The last thing we want is someone to find out that he's been hiding here under our noses!"
Hermione shook her head. "No. Ginny, I did this for Harry. It wasn't that I wanted Draco to be safe, and though it is a concern, he can take care of himself. But Harry... Harry loves him. He fell to pieces after Dumbledore died, and there was nothing Ron or I could do. And here comes Draco, as broken as Harry, and somehow they put each other together. They grew together, and when Draco disappeared, it was like his other half had gone. Draco is the ONLY thing that can make Harry happy again. And you ask me not to tell him... No!"
Ginny bit her lip, then hugged Hermione. "All right. You win. I'm just..."
"Worried, I know." Hermione smiled and checked her watch. "I can probably go home and be back without missing more than half of Charms..."
Ginny shook her head. "No, you go on to class. I'll tell him."
"You sure that's ok?"
She smiled. "I started this, it seems right that I should finish it."
"Are you kidding? This is just the beginning."
*~*~*~*
The room was a mess. Clothes were scattered all over the thin blue carpeted floor, some looking like they'd been there for weeks. There was dust collecting in the corners, and a spider had begun to make a web in the one small window. There were papers everywhere, spilling off the cluttered desk and overflowing the wastebasket. The bed in the center of the room was missing a bottom sheet, which was crumpled at the foot of the bed.
A thin, black-haired woman lay sprawled over the tangled white top sheet. She groaned and rolled off the bed, hitting the floor with a satisfactory thump. As she struggled to her feet, she caught sight of her haggard form in the wall mirror. Another groan escaped her lips. She was as messy as the room – skin pale and pasty, dark circles under her eyes, black hair wildly tangled, and far, far too thin... She vaguely wondered when she'd eaten last... must have been more than a few days ago...
She staggered the few steps to the rickety bedside table, breathing heavily. She sorted clumsily through the items piled there, knocking more than a few to the floor. Luckily, the piles of clothes cushioned the fragile objects.
She found what she was searching for – a small clay bottle on a leather string. She studied it for a second, her traitorous eyes blurring the lines, making it nearly impossible to see the rose design on the terra cotta. After it finally came into focus enough to determine the pattern, she smashed it against the wall, so hard that the little bottle shattered. Suddenly the woman shuddered, twisted, and turned into Draco Malfoy.
"I hate that glamour," he muttered under his breath.
In his true form, he looked a little less ill, but the difference was slight. He was still thin and gaunt from lack of food and delirious with pain and loss and hunger. His blonde hair was thin and wispy, but had grown a little longer in his year away from reality. His gray eyes had lost that luster of ice. They had become pools of gray fog - wondering, watching, waiting.
He flopped back down on the bed – or rather, his legs gave out and he fell sideways. He tried to get his eyes to focus on the many cracks in the dirty white ceiling, but they swam and wavered and blurred. Then everything began to swirl, and he closed his eyes and surrendered to the darkness.
*~*~*~*
"Ron, where's Harry?" Ginny asked. Ron pointed silently to the door to the backyard, not looking up from his writing. "Thanks!" Ginny pushed open the door and walked out into the small, flowery backyard. Harry was sitting on the garden swing, looking down at the ground and pushing himself a little with his toes.
"Harry? It's Ginny." Harry turned his head up, looking confused for a second, then breaking into a smile.
"Hey, Gin. What's new?"
Ginny took a seat next to him. "Well... a lot, actually." She went quiet again.
He looked concerned. "What's wrong?"
"Oh, nothing's wrong, exactly... Harry... we found Draco."
The change was instantaneous. His eyes narrowed, every nerve in his body seemed alert and alive, and he was suddenly very interested in catching every single word Ginny said. "Who-" his voice cracked, he swallowed and tried again. "The Ministry?"
Ginny shook her head. "No. They still think he's in America. A small group of friends have been searching for him, and heading off the Aurors – and just this morning I got his exact address. No one has done anything yet..." she trailed off, for though Harry was looking straight at her, his mind was elsewhere.
"Where is he?" For all his predatory attitude, his voice was soft and gentle.
Ginny handed over a slip of paper. "Everything has to be kept secret – memorize and burn."
Harry nodded. He read through the parchment several times, then stuck it in his pocket. "Thanks for the information, Gin."
She gave him a Look. "Aren't you going to… I dunno… go running off to drag him home?"
Harry shrugged. His face had glossed over, looking impassive and disinterested. "No. He obviously doesn't want to be found." His voice, like his face, was flat and emotionless.
Ginny blinked a few times, then changed the subject. If Harry doesn't want to talk about it anymore, that is fine with me.
*~*~*~*
"He didn't say anything?"
"Not really. He just sat there and said, 'he obviously doesn't want to be found,' like everything was perfectly all right."
Hermione sighed. We go through all this trouble to find Draco, and now Harry doesn't do anything about it! "Well, he does have a lot to be bitter about."
"True... but STILL! They're so cute, they shouldn't be allowed to be apart any longer than necessary!"
Hermione laughed. "You just like them because they're gay!"
"Well, yeah... BUT THEY'RE SO CUTE!!!"
Hermione shook her head, smiling, though she privately agreed with Ginny. "I'll try to talk to him when I get home, how's that?" Hermione stood up from the little table, pulling on her coat and picking up her bag. "Thanks for the meal, Ginny."
She shrugged. "Luna's out of town, I had no one else to eat with." The redhead grinned.
Hermione rolled her eyes to the sky. "Why are all my friends gay?!"
"I'm not gay, I'm bi."
"Close enough. You're dating a woman; you're lesbian in my mind."
"Well... Ron's not gay."
"He's also more than a friend..." They both laughed.
"See you later, Herm."
"You too, Gin. Say hi to Luna for me."
"I will."
"Bye."
"Bye."
*~*~*~*
It had started as a small flame – a little flicker of heat. And yet, its effect had been like striking a match in the midst of complete darkness. He had spent the past year repressing his feelings, until it felt almost like he was looking at the world through a sheet of thick glass – but at least it wasn't painful to breathe. And now there was a spark of something, and it took him almost half an hour to classify it as anger. And the fire inside had grown, and grown, until every inch of his body was burning with the bonfire of perfect fury.
Now.
Harry's lips curled into a little sadistic smile. He had been sitting in the dark garage ever since Ginny had left, letting the anger build up inside him like a geyser ready to explode.
Now.
He leapt onto his feet and found the garage door opener on the wall in the dark. His hand knew instinctively where it was, after three months of nighttime rides.
Now.
The door slowly lifted, letting in a widening strip of crimson light.
Now.
He reached into the convertible and pulled out his leather riding jacket, slipping it on over a red t-shirt. He settled in behind the wheel and revved her up, feeling the hum of the engine under him match his burning fury. The garage door was fully open by now, and the fiery light of the setting sun filled the inside of the garage. It would be nighttime in half an hour – how fitting.
Now.
He stepped on the accelerator.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author's
Notes: This was supposed to be a one-shot, but I'm not done with it and I want
to know what people think. Since I had split it up into three logical parts, I
just decided those would be chapter breaks =^..^= so
it's only going to be three chapters long.
Please Read and Review!!!!!
Means a lot to me to know my work is apweeseeayted
(appreciated, for those who can't sound it out phonetically).
