So this is an offshoot of an idea that I have started fiddling with. In the original idea, Sephiroth, the Remnants, Angeal, and Zack have been brought back for a variety of purposes. All of them- except Sephiroth, who lives elsewhere- live at 7th Heaven.
This was born of an idea, and of Enide Dear's 'verse, in which Reno and Kadaj are a couple.
Expect to see more of this 'verse, though not the Kadaj/Reno match, in the near future!
When Kadaj started expressing his interest in Reno, no one really paid it any mind. Kadaj was just trying to imitate his older brothers, and Reno wasn't going to return the attention either, so what was the point? It was a phase that would go away in time, just like all the other quirks and habits Kadaj had briefly entertained. And anyway, Reno had an on-again-off-again relationship with Tseng. The only reason he even tolerated Kadaj was because it was currently on the off-again side of the loop.
Thus, it was a nasty surprise when Angeal discovered the pair mostly naked in a supply closet while looking for a mop. He stared at them for a long moment, reached around Reno's shoulder to remove the mop from its hook, and closed the door. Then he went straight to Cloud, since Kadaj respected him and wouldn't listen to a word Angeal or Sephiroth said concerning his behavior.
There was a screaming match that culminated in Kadaj locking himself in the basement for three hours, but in the end, it was decided that Reno would be allowed to live and Kadaj would not be grounded for life. This decision was helped along by Reno's explaining that he'd told Kadaj that he wasn't looking for a relationship and Kadaj's response that all he wanted was sex. Angeal sighed and pointed out that Sephiroth had once behaved similarly.
Some two months into the odd little match, Reno stumbled into 7th Heaven looking like death.
"Reno!" Tifa hurried over to him at once, pulling his arm across her shoulders to hold him upright. "What's happened?"
"H-he's missing," Reno whimpered.
"Who is?"
"Tseng. I need to talk to Zack. Or Sephiroth. One of them. Please."
"Alright, just…just sit down, okay?
Getting Zack and Sephiroth turned into getting everyone, and it wasn't long before all the residents of the house were gathered in the living room.
"Okay, Reno, tell them what you need."
Reno looked up at Sephiroth. His eyes were bloodshot.
"Find Tseng."
"Does he need finding?" Sephiroth asked.
Reno nodded.
"Why?"
"H-he went on assignment last week. Didn't report in for his daily four days ago. And yesterday…his t-t-tracker went offline."
"Tracker?" Tifa asked.
"All Turks have a small tracking device implanted in their bodies," Vincent explained. "It helps in locating them when they are unable to return to base for some reason, when the body needs to be retrieved, or when there is a traitor who has run. They are also used to monitor rookies."
"Could he have just...acidentally damanged it?" Cloud suggested.
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because of where his is."
"And where is that?"
Reno pressed a hand to his side, just under his ribcage.
"In deep," he said softly. "You can't accidentally damage something buried in your body. Something had to have happened to him, and….we've been searching the area he was supposed to be in, and there's no sign of him. Boss says to just let it go, but…he's gotta be out there somewhere. Somewhere we haven't looked yet. I know you guys can find things most people can't, so…help me?"
Sephiroth opened his mouth to respond, but Kadaj got to it first.
"Why do you want to find him?" he demanded.
"What?"
"Why do you even care? You told me he's a lousy boss and even worse in bed. So what does it matter if he's gone missing?"
The room went silent. Reno's eyes widened.
"What did you just say?"
"I asked why you even care. He doesn't matter, so who cares if he's gone?"
Not even Sephiroth could move fast enough to grab Reno before he threw himself on Kadaj. The little Remnant went over backwards with a startled yelp. Reno was punching before they hit the ground, and he was not pulling them. Kadaj did his best to fight back, but, being better with a sword than with his hands, the most he could do was try to get away and land the occasional lucky strike.
"Don't you fucking talk about him! Don't you even think about him!"
"Get off me! Stoppit! Reno, that hurts!"
"What do you know about anything? All you can do is eat and sleep and fuck and complain!"
"Fuck you!"
"Been there, done that."
Kadaj screeched indignantly. One small hand raised for a moment, then came down and raked along the side of Reno's face. The redhead snarled angrily when the scratches began to bleed.
"What do you know about loving someone, huh? How could a spoiled, selfish, immature little brat like you understand what it's like to have someone you love go missing?"
"Which one do you want to get?" Angeal whispered to Sephiroth.
"I'll get Kadaj."
"Alright."
They moved together, each grabbing one of the scrappers and hauling them apart.
"Put me down!" Reno hollered, thrashing. He was no match for Angeal's hold, though, and he stopped struggling almost immediately. Kadaj, on the other hand, writhed and kicked and screamed, fighting against his brother's hands, for several tense minutes before giving up.
"We'll help," Sephiroth said quietly. "But any information we need, you will give us. Is that clear?"
"Y-yeah. Anything."
"You're wasting your time," Kadaj spat. "He's probably dead in a ditch somewhere, like the trash he is."
The sharp crack of a skin against skin was loud in the confined space. Kadaj stared at Vincent, standing before him with his hand still raised. A thin stream of blood trickled out of the corner of his mouth.
"V-v-vincent?"
Vincent's body jerked, just once, and everyone in the room took a step backwards when Chaos resettled his wings.
"You," he growled, "are a foolish child."
Kadaj's eyes widened and he began to thrash again. Sephiroth hauled him off his feet, holding him off the floor to keep him from going anywhere.
"Get away from me!"
"Be quiet."
"Go away!"
"You will listen to me, Kadaj, or you will suffer the consequences."
"You're a freak!"
Chaos slapped Kadaj a second time. No one except Loz flinched. Kadaj's furious shriek, however, made most of those gathered wince and cover their ears. He didn't stop when he ran out of air; instead, he took a deep breath and launched into a string of expletives that he had probably picked up from Cid, many of which took into question irrelevant things such as the identity of Chaos' parents, what unorthodox and/or anatomically impossible things he had done with himself and various animals, and what Chaos did in his personal time.
"This is getting silly. Let go of him."
Sephiroth didn't question Chaos. He put Kadaj down and took a step back.
Before Kadaj had a chance to bolt, Chaos grabbed him by the hair and jerked him onto his toes.
"You listen to me, boy, and listen well. You have no concept of love for anyone who is not a family member. Therefore, you have no way of understanding that this Turk feels for his missing superior in a way that surpasses all else. That is acceptable. What is not acceptable is your taking such a precious emotion and tearing it to shreds in a childish display of jealousy and selfishness. Reno is not your property. He is not even your lover." He gave Kadaj a sharp shake. Kadaj yelped in pain, and was silenced by a clawed hand that pressed over his mouth. "You fuck him and let him fuck you because you are mimicking those around you, not because you have any feelings for him. He has no feelings for you, and you know that. You are no better than a whore."
Kadaj began to cry, angry, frightened tears trickling over Chaos' long fingers.
"Your brothers and I are going to go find the Wutain. You are going to go to your room and stay there until we return. Then you and I are going to have a little chat, and perhaps you will learn enough to persuade me to not give you the hiding of your worthless life. Understood?"
Kadaj made a desperate noise of agreement.
"Good. Now get out." Chaos released Kadaj, who crumpled to the floor. He scrambled to his feet and was gone in seconds.
"You're not going to really hurt him are you?" Tifa asked hesitantly. Chaos gave her a cool look.
"Only if he needs it." He turned to Reno. "Tell us where he was and what he was doing."
"It'd be better if he showed us," Zack said. "They get into some pretty complicated stuff."
"He's too weak to lead us anywhere."
"I am not!"
"You haven't slept in days. You've hardly eaten. It is only fear and desperation keeping you on your feet. I will not take you out knowing that you might collapse at any moment. You will stay here and wait."
"Like hell I will!"
"Tifa?"
"Yes?"
"Treat him like you would Cloud, were he to return home in a similar condition."
Tifa nodded and gave Reno a calculating look.
"Soup," she said after a moment. "Then a shower, and bed."
"But-"
"No buts. Tell them what they need to know and come into the kitchen when you're done."
Reno hesitated, looking from her to Chaos and back, then nodded.
"Okay."
Zack returned with Cloud three days later. He was limping on a sprained ankle, and Cloud was along as his support.
"Still looking," he said the moment he was inside. "Chaos is running us like chocobo. Couldn't keep up on this." He dropped into a kitchen chair and stretched his foot out with a soft groan. "So we're out."
"You can't catch up with them?"
"No point in it. And even if we could, Angeal asked me to stick around and help out, and Cloud has to get back to work."
"How's Reno?" Cloud asked.
Tifa sighed. "Still in bed. A couple of hours after you left he just…crashed. He's completely burned out, not eating, hardly sleeping, running a low-grade fever that I can't get to come down…I don't know what to do for him anymore."
Cloud shook his head and knelt to help get Zack's boot off. Zack clutched at the tabletop and hissed curses until his ankle was free.
"Tseng is the one who pulled him off the streets in the first place. If it wasn't for him, Reno would either still be in a rag-tag little street gang or rotting in a ditch somewhere. He was the only stable thing in Reno's life for a long time. It's understandable that he'd break down like this. There, Zack, how's that?"
"Hurts like a bitch," Zack ground out.
"What exactly did you do?" Tifa asked, kneeling to examine the bruised, swollen mass that was Zack's ankle.
"Gopher hole."
"A gopher hole?"
"Stupid, isn't it? I stepped right in it and didn't even notice until something in there went 'pop'."
Tifa stood back up and went to get an ice pack out of the freezer.
"That's going to take awhile to heal. I'll get an elastic bandage for you after the swelling goes down a little, okay?"
"Sure."
A couple of hours, a hot foot soak, and lunch later, Zack limped up the stairs and headed back to the guest room Tifa had Reno in. He nudged the door open and made his way over to the bed, quietly watching Reno. The redhead was asleep for the moment, lying perfectly still under the blanket. He'd lost what little extra weight he had still had when he'd showed up at 7th Heaven, his hair looked dull, and his skin had taken on a grayish cast. A thin sheen of sweat did nothing to make him look like anything other than death warmed over.
"They're gonna find him," Zack whispered. "They've still got his scent and Chaos…he's really riled up about it all. Not really sure why. So you'd better hang on- Tseng will drag you back and kill you if you die before he gets back."
The others trickled in over the next week and a half, each for a different reason. First Loz, who had become so distraught by the apparent futility of the search that he was slowing it down. After him, Yazoo, who had gotten on the wrong side of some botanical monster distantly related to a Cactuar and had dozens of spines buried in his skin. Sephiroth had developed a chest cold that left him unable to breathe deeply enough to sustain the steady running required for the search. Angeal was last, on direct orders from Chaos to go home.
"He says Tseng is still out there," Angeal said, over a late dinner the night he returned. "I don't know if that's true or not, but I lost the trail completely two days before he told me to leave."
"Reno's barely hanging on," Cloud murmured. "If Chaos doesn't hurry, there won't be anything to bring Tseng back to except a casket."
Yazoo devoted himself to tending to Reno, treating him with remedies made with the herbs in Loz's garden and from the farmer's market, bathing him, and talking at him for hours at a time.
Loz had tried coaxing Kadaj out of his bedroom when he'd first come home, but the youngest Remnant refused to come out. Tifa had Marlene take a tray of food up to his bedroom twice a day, which he would take after she had left, and they let him hide.
Fully four weeks passed from the afternoon that Reno came to 7th Heaven with his plea. Something kept Reno alive, though he hadn't spoken, moved on his own, or indeed given any indication that there was any scrap of his personality remaining in a week. He looked like a skeleton with skin and a mop of dull red hair. Kadaj had emerged from his room once, for unknown reasons, but he had run into Sephiroth on the stairs, given a blood-curdling, utterly terrified scream, and bolted back into his bedroom.
It was a dark, cloudy evening when the back door crashed open. Tifa looked up to see a bundle of red and black stagger inside.
"Chaos!" she called, running down the hall to see him.
"I've returned," Chaos said softly when she reached him. He turned to face her and smiled, a weak but ultimately satisfied quirk to his lips.
"Tseng?"
"Weak, sick, badly injured, but alive. I took him to Midgar General."
"Oh, thank goodness. We were starting to think…well, never mind. You're back and you found him and that's all that- Chaos? Is something wrong?"
"I think I'm going to faint now," he said. "Sorry."
Then he did.
Tifa's yelling roused the entire household, bringing them thundering down into the hall to find her kneeling on the floor with Chaos pulled into her lap.
It was late in the afternoon of the next day when Chaos woke up. He jerked off the bed, startling Loz, who had been sitting near the door, watching him.
"Tifa said you need to stay in bed," he said quickly, moving to block the door. "She said you're going to make yourself sick if you don't rest."
"I'm already sick," Chaos growled. "My cure waits down the hall."
"Kadaj?" Loz ventured.
"Yes."
"You should still stay in bed."
"I have never been good at doing what I'm told." Chaos stretched, spreading his wings as far as the room would allow, and cracked his knuckles. "Let me by, little Remnant. This is between your brother and me."
"I-"
"Do you want him to hurt more people with the things he says? Do you want him to alienate himself from this household, so that he is forced to leave you and your other brothers? Do you want him to spend his life alone?"
"N-n-no," Loz whimpered, wavering.
"Then let me out, and I will do what I can to set him right."
Loz stepped out of the way. Chaos folded his wings and strode out into the hallway, heading for Kadaj's door.
The first thing Tifa knew about Chaos' being up was a streak of red and black carrying a small bundle of black and silver out into the back yard. The kitchen door slammed shut, and she ran to the window. Chaos had Kadaj up against the back fence and was saying something.
"I wouldn't open that window," Sephiroth rasped. Tifa jumped.
"Where did you come from?"
"Upstairs. I saw Chaos take him. We're going to have to repair the door, by the way- Chaos forced it open."
"He did?"
"Mmhm."
"Dammit, he could have at least- why shouldn't I open the window?"
"Because this is private and you have no business eavesdropping."
"But he's-"
"Chaos isn't going to hurt him. Father is pissed off, Chaos is ready to level something, and it's all my baby brother's fault. It's much safer to leave them alone." Sephiroth poured himself a glass of lemonade and padded over to eye the pair out in the yard. "I imagine Kadaj is receiving the scolding of his life out there."
"You really don't care?" Tifa asked.
"Care about what?"
"That Kadaj hid in his room the entire time Chaos was gone. That Chaos hurt him, scared the living daylights out of him, and kept him from doing anything for a month. That he's your brother and this isn't fair. Anything!"
Sephiroth shrugged. "I was raised very strictly, Tifa. I was severely punished when I did something wrong, for even the slightest infraction. The Remnants were spoiled. Loz and Yazoo have, thankfully, learned how to function in society. Kadaj, however, still behaves as though the world belongs to him and he ought to be allowed to do or say or have whatever he wants. That could get him killed someday." He chuckled humorlessly. "And this is coming from me. Imagine how he appears to others outside this house. He needs to be taught a lesson."
"But this-"
"I cannot teach him what he needs to know without physical violence. Cloud isn't ready to teach anyone older than Denzel. Angeal isn't used to handling spoiled brats. Zack wasn't made to discipline anything. Father is afraid of losing his temper and releasing a monster. You're too soft. That leaves Chaos."
"Sephiroth, there has to be another way."
"There is."
"What?"
"You could put him in either a mental institution or a juvenile detention facility."
"I'm being serious!"
"So am I." He watched quietly as Chaos' wings flared out, effectively hiding both him and Kadaj from view. "We are severely damaged, Tifa. You often forget that. In other circumstances, Kadaj would have been given up as a hopeless case long ago."
"This just…it doesn't seem right to me. He's too young."
"You coddle him. If he's old enough to be sleeping with a Turk, he's old enough to face the consequences of his stupidity." Sephiroth finished his drink and rinsed the glass. "I expect Chaos will return control to my father once he's finished with Kadaj, in which case we will be out of your hair by this evening. Thank you for your hospitality."
"Uh…you're welcome."
Outside, Chaos wings had lowered. As Tifa watched, he took Kadaj by the arm and towed him over to the bench under the oak tree. Kadaj struggled, but was no match for him. In short order his pants had been stripped down to his ankles and he had been turned over Chaos knee, where he was receiving what was probably his first-ever spanking.
Tifa bolted for the door.
Just as quickly, she was hoisted up over someone's shoulder and effectively immobilized. "Oh, no you don't."
"Put me down!"
"No. Sephiroth was right when he said you were going to interfere." Angeal put Tifa down on the counter. "Leave them alone."
"But he's hitting him!"
"Weren't you ever spanked as a child?"
"No!"
"I got the belt when I misbehaved."
"Angeal, he's hitting a child! That's not right!"
Angeal sighed. "Tifa, Kadaj is more or less fifteen. He's not a child, he's a teenager, and Chaos is making this lesson stick. If a sound spanking is what it takes, then that's what he needs. Trust me, when you learn to associate bad behavior with pain, you start acting right very quickly."
"I can't just sit here and-"
The door banged open and Kadaj went scorching across the kitchen, into the hall and up the stairs. Upstairs, his bedroom door slammed shut. Tifa could just make out the sound of hysterical sobbing.
"That was dramatic," Chaos murmured, leaning in the door. "Tifa, would you mind handing me a plastic bag, please?"
"For what?"
"He cried himself sick. All over my clothes. I doubt you want me coming inside like this."
"Oh. Oh. Um…of course. Just a minute. Angeal, would you mind moving?"
Angeal relocated to the breakfast nook, saying nothing while Tifa fetched the bag. There were a few moments of rustling just outside the door, and then Chaos padded in, the bag held out at arm's length. He was down to his boxers.
"That ought to do it," he said smugly. "He ought to shape up a little after this."
"Chaos, you-"
She didn't get the chance to finish the sentence; Chaos melted back into Vincent, leaving a rather confused gunslinger standing in the kitchen in his underwear.
"Oh, wonderful timing," he muttered.
"Sephiroth wants to go home," Angeal said.
"Why can't he go without me? He has his own keys."
"Which are currently somewhere in that hellhole of a swamp Chaos dragged us through. He said he didn't want to pick the lock at the apartment."
Vincent sighed.
"Of course. Tifa, if you don't mind, I'm going to give these a preliminary cleaning in the utility sink before I throw them in the laundry."
"That's fine, but-"
"I stand behind Chaos' decision to discipline Kadaj, and I'm not going to justify the reasoning behind it. He is my child, by blood at least, and as such mine to teach in whatever way I or Chaos see fit."
"But Chaos is-"
"Perfectly capable of making a rational decision. End of discussion."
"Vincent-"
"Tifa, I am nearly naked in your kitchen and holding a bag of vomit and clothing. I would like to clean up and go home." He headed for the door.
"Wasn't there anything-"
"When you start treating him like the teenager he is and not the child you like to pretend he is, then I will leave his discipline to you. Until then, I expect you to stop questioning my ideas concerning parenting."
He was gone before Tifa could formulate a response. Laughing, Angeal got up and ambled over to the refrigerator.
"I knew Sephiroth had gotten that from somewhere," he chuckled. "Always has to have the last word."
"You can't think that they're right."
"I can, and I do. Does this leftover pizza belong to someone?"
"Angeal."
"If you want to do something about it, go take Kadaj a cup of hot chocolate and get him to stop crying before he throws up again. Let Chaos and Vincent be the impending doom that threatens him if he acts up again. You're good at being Mom."
Tifa groaned, but put the kettle on.
Now that Tseng was safe in the care of the doctors at Midgar General Hospital, Reno could be moved to a room at the other end of the hall Tseng was in. He was put in several IV drips and there was a team of concerned staff constantly popping in to check on him, but the senior doctor in charge of his case said he was very optimistic. The biggest problems had been dehydration and lack of nutrition, both of which could be easily remedied.
A week after Reno's admission to the hospital, someone let slip to Tseng that his lover was also hospitalized, due to his apparent effort to starve himself while waiting for news of Tseng. Furious, Tseng pulled a gun on the first nurse unfortunate enough to walk into the room and demanded to be taken down to see Reno immediately.
Tifa arrived with the Remnants in tow just in time to see Tseng being wheeled into Reno's room, accompanied by several nurses.
"He has a gun," one of the nurses whispered to Tifa.
"He's a Turk," Tifa said simply. "He probably has a lot more than that."
In the little room, the largest nurse, who also happened to be the one being threatened with the gun, was helping Tseng into a standing position.
"Hello, Tifa," Tseng said quietly.
"You should be in bed."
"I will be in a minute. Excuse me, is there anything on him that could be damaged by moisture?" The nearest nurse shook her head. "Excellent. Tifa, hand me that pitcher, would you?"
Tifa picked up the mostly full pitcher of water and put it into Tseng's free hand.
"Thank you." Tseng judged his aim, then tossed the contents of the pitcher onto Reno.
Reno woke up with a gasp. Sputtering, he looked around, searching for the source of the cold shock. When he saw Tseng, he made a weak squeaking sound.
"You," Tseng growled, "are without question the worst Turk I have ever had the misfortune to work with."
"What?"
"You heard me. How dare you be so selfish? You've forced unnecessary work and worry on your subordinates over a missing coworker. You've forced the care of your sorry carcass on one of the hardest-working women on this continent. You sent a pack of resurrected SOLDIERs and Remnants after me, lead by the single most powerful creature on the Planet! And on top of that, you decided it would be a good idea to waste away like some girl pining for her long-lost lover and almost killed yourself!"
"Tseng, I-"
Tseng threw the pitcher. He missed, thankfully, and Yazoo caught the pitcher before it could shatter against the wall.
"I told you I would come back, didn't I?" Tseng roared.
"Yes, but-"
"Have a little faith in me, dammit! I survived. It may have taken a month to get back home, but I managed, didn't I? Here I was, expecting to find that everything operated smoothly in my absence, and I'm told that you panicked and left Rude and Elena to handle everything while you sulked yourself into a goddamn coma! Did you learn NOTHING from your training?"
"Sir, please, you're going to tear your stitches."
"They can be replaced. I have more important things to attend to."
Tifa couldn't help but smile at Tseng's fury. After everything that had happened, it was a relief to see that he was still himself, no matter how battered and weakened.
"But you don't underst-"
"Understand what? What is the first rule of being a Turk?"
"Er…don't put a loaded gun in your pocket?"
"NO! Always stay true to your team! And you didn't!"
Reno cowered on the bed, dead white and trembling. Tseng watched him for a moment, then sighed.
"I said I would be back, Reno. Weren't you listening?"
"Your tracker went offline," Reno whispered. "Rufus said to give you up for dead. I…I had to do something."
Tseng groaned. "Reno, I appreciate the search party. But this?" He indicated Reno and the IVs he was still hooked up to. "If I go missing, I want to come home to a healthy team and a warm body to cuddle with, not a skeleton with hair. You're no good to me half-dead."
"S-s-sorry."
"You'll be returning to work before me. I expect you to do your job properly this time. No moping. No starving yourself. No shuffling projects onto Rude and Elena. When I get back, you will be off the mission roster for a month and you will do your busy work without complaining. Is that clear?"
Reno looked up, eyes glimmering with tears.
"And if I find that you've done as you've been told," Tseng murmured, "then you and I will have dinner at Ryo Sushi and discuss what I'm going to do with you."
"Yes, sir," Reno managed.
"Good." Tseng settled back into his wheelchair and looked up at the nurse he had been threatening. "There, you see? No popped stitches and no bleeding. You can take me back now."
Halfway out the door, Tseng stopped the nurse and turned back as far as his bandages would allow.
"For the record, Reno…I cut the tracker out myself, because we aren't the only ones who know how to tap into the feed."
"Idiot," Reno sniffled.
"I prefer to consider myself hell-bent on surviving. After all, it's clear that you're completely incapable of getting by without me."
Reno was laughing as Tseng vanished down the hallway.
