Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
So, this is it.
I stand here, watching from the afar. Every second felt like an eternity. The day is sunny and warm, and yet, I feel cold, so cold. I see the cleric's lips moving, but I can't hear a word. My mind can't register anything, I have a smile in my face but I feel like crying in the inside.
Today, a wedding has been scheduled, and I was part of it.
A mere guest, like everybody else from the Konoha Eleven. Our sensei is here, his porn nowhere in sight. He is wearing a black tuxedo, like everybody else. Like I was.
The wedding has been beautiful from other's perspective. I heard many times how everything was perfect, how the bride and the groom looked so perfect together, like they were meant to be.
All I could feel was hatred.
I feel cheated. After everything I did, after everything I sacrificed, my reward was so pitiful that it made my blood boil.
A peak in the cheek, a pat in the head, and a simple 'Good boy'. That's all I get for nearly killing myself to rescue my supposed best friend, my brother.
It wasn't until the couple exchanged their wedding vows that I finally grasped what was happening.
Sasuke Uchiha, and Sakura Haruno, now, Sakura Uchiha were a married couple, and I was the reason for its happening.
I clenched my fist as a new wave of shame and embarrassment hit my core. I was the sole reason why they're married, I let this happen by pushing myself to the limits and saving Sasuke from the hands of darkness.
I thought I was going to breakdown, but no tears came from my eyes. I wanted to scream at the world for being so unfair with me, but it couldn't.
Standing here I've lost all faith, I've no social equality. How's possible, that I'm here, surrounded by all the people who have acknowledged me, and yet, I feel so utterly alone?
The happy couple kissed after they exchanged the rings. Sakura kissed Sasuke with such passion that for a moment I thought I was going to explode. Always him, never I.
I was in the first row, along with all of my friends of the academy. Ino was not sitting with us, since she was the bridesmaid. Kakashi-sensei has been named bestman, but I could see that he was feeling uncomfortable with his place. He knew. Our sensei knew I loved Sakura, I had talked with him before leaving in my search for Sasuke in our last battle. I told him everything, all my feeling bottled inside were left open to in the air as I told Kakashi everything I felt. My doubts, my hopes, my love.
"I knew this would be troublesome" I heard Shikamaru whisper as all the girls talked animatedly with Sakura, every girl looked stunning in their dresses, but nobody looked as stunning as Sakura in her wedding dress. I could feel someone's gaze falling on me, but I ignored the person.
I always knew Hinata was different, she acted so strange around me in our time on the academy. For years I thought she was kinda weird, but after hearing her confession of love for me in my battle against Pein, I understood everything.
Still, I couldn't bring myself to love her, I only saw her as a friend, nothing more. She's was too gentle, too…caring for my liking. I could never feel comfortable around her, dating with her would only be an awkward experience for both of us.
So I ignored her knowing looking that I know she was wearing and walked to where Sasuke stood.
For a moment, time felt like it froze. Everybody was looking at me with expectation, wanting to know what I felt about this whole mess. I looked around to see Sakura watching me carefully, her 'I'm-sorry' look was present in her face, but I knew otherwise.
She didn't want me to screw everything. It has been a perfect wedding, planned from months ago and arranged by Sakura's best friend, Ino, with meticulous detail. Throughout all the day, I hadn't said a word. Not a whisper, not a yell, not a mutter.
She expected that I was going to ruin everything, as always. Naruto Uzumaki, the laughing stock of Konoha, their personal buffoon.
I have been a silent spectator, watching from the shadows the whole time. Not giving my opinion in the matter since the wedding announcement three months ago.
"I'm sorry it turned out like this, Naruto."
Kakashi-sensei's words early came back to my mind, his sad face was everything I need to remember to know that even if my opinion about the wedding would had been asked, it wouldn't have mattered in the slightest. I have no voice in this, I never had.
I wiped my sweating hand in my suit and shook Sasuke's left hand.
"Congratulations."
Our eyes met. Blue and black clashed and met. I heard gasps from behind as I spelled that single word.
My voice was so cold, yet mocking, full of sarcasm and hatred, filled with an angry tone that for a moment, I thought someone had said it. Someone like Sasuke.
And then I disappeared, leaving no trace of myself behind. I heard someone screaming my name, the sound of collective gasps, and someone who sounded very familiar to Kiba shouting 'Traitor!' in the afar, but I didn't care, not anymore.
My mission was completed, I was no longer needed.
The next two years flew by. The morning after the wedding, I ended up in the Hokage's office, screaming at the old hag to make me a jounin. We argued for a while, but after she saw my pitiful state and my sorrowful eyes, she came to the decision of making me a jounin in the very moment. I thanked her profusely for the opportunity. The next day, I told Kakashi-sensei that I was no longer part of team seven. He nodded with a knowing look and we shared a heartily farewell in Ichiraku's ramen stand. For the past two years, the only thing that occupied my time and mind were B and A ranked missions. I started to see my friends less and less, until I never saw them again. Shikamaru being the only exception.
We shared a friendly bond, one much stronger than the one I shared with Sasuke. It was deeper and more understanding.
Shikamaru never asked me anything, and I couldn't be more grateful for that.
"I don't know what actually happened between Sakura and you. But I've a wild guess about it, and I understand your actions Naruto, completely."
On a random day, usually on Sundays, I would go to the Nara Compound to play Shōgi with him. We never spoke aloud, so we usually played for two or three hours until one of us was beaten(usually that person was me). Later, we would go and watch the clouds in the top of the Fourth Hokage's head in the Hokage Monument, and then I'd say my farewell and leave.
I walked into the Hokage's office, my eyes dull from emotions. I never wanted to end up like this, like him. I used to be so carefree about everything, always grinning and laughing like there was no tomorrow. I still enjoy life, but from a different point of view. I now pay attention to the small details of things, instead of watching the big picture as I used to do in my youth, now I take my time to analyze everything. After the wedding, I moved from my old apartment. There were too much memories there, haunting me in the nights, like a permanent reminder of what I used to be. So, I moved to another sector of Konoha, and thanks to my fight against Pain and the defeat of Tobi, I was always welcomed whenever I go, so I moved to the a more respected sector, cutting all my ties of the past.
"Uh? What's bring you here, brat? If it's for another S-rank mission then you better wait another two months, we're out of-"
"I want to resign from my shinobi duties." I cut the Hokage.
Tsunade-baa-chan looked at me with a stare of disbelief, her eyebrows were pushed together giving her a thoughtful look.
"Please, Hokage-sama" I add after a moment of awkward silence.
Is not very common for me to be so formal, but hey, desperate time calls for desperate measures.
"What's the reason behind this?" She threat me with her very common 'You-better-have-a-good-reason-or-else-I'm-going-to-hurt-you' look.
"I've been doing mission non-stop for the past two years, helping the village with all my strength in every possible way, and now, I think my presence in the shinobi lines is no longer needed." I answer flawlessly with a challenging look.
She looks mad, but I know that she understand my reasons. I need my space, my time to rethink about life and know my place in this world.
"What about your dreams, Naruto." She asked me in a surprisingly soft tone.
"Some dreams...are just that, dreams." I answer lamely, letting out a tired sigh.
I watched as Tsunade-baa-chan stood up from her chair and engulfed me with her big arms.
"If it that what you want Naruto, then, so be it." She says with a motherly tone.
I nod sorrowfully, my mind was already made, "Even I'm not longer a shinobi you can count on me if something serious happens, alright?"
"Only if you never call me Hokage-sama again, is that clear?"
I laughed happily, I was in peace finally.
"Of course…Granny."
For the next six month I grew out more than ever as a person. Without my shinobi duties, I actually had time to enjoy myself. I ended up being friend with my neighbor Aoshi, who was around the same age as me. He was an extraordinary chief and after a while, he started to teach me how to cook for myself. At first I hesitated a bit, thinking that maybe I was betraying my love for ramen, but I knew that I couldn't live eating ramen for all my life, so I gave it a try.
Aoshi was a soothing company, he sometimes showed off his skills and boasted a little, but it was more in a joking way than something serious. We never talked about our past, since I knew he was hiding something, but I knew he was a good man, so it was fine to me.
Our friendship ended quickly, as he had to leave to another village shortly after the second month. We had a farewell party in my house along with the rest of the neighborhood. Aoshi and I made all the food, much to the delight of all the guests.
"It was nice to meet you, Naruto-san, until we meet again, my fellow chief-companion!" Aoshi said cheerfully with a piece of cake in his mouth.
After that, I decided to only cook in holidays, since I had nobody to cook for. I never interacted with anyone of the Konoha Eleven again, not even with Shikamaru. Everytime I bumped in one of them I'd excuse me like I would do with any other person. They were strangers to me.
I ended up being friend with another of my neighbor after that, Akemi Hiraga. Akemi was very temperamental, and she reminded me of a mixture of Sakura and Ino sometimes. Bossy in the outside, caring in the inside. Akemi was a professional painter, and after bugging me for a while, I accepted her invitation to learn how to paint. I had a good time with Akemi, she was very funny after you pass through her cold façade. She had this short brunette hair and mesmerizing blue eyes. Sometimes, she lectured me into painting specific things like mountains or animals, and others time she said I could do whatever I wanted. And everytime, I'd end up painting a cherry blossom in all of my paintings.
Sometimes I wanted to cry and break everything in my way when I saw all the cherry blossom paintings hanging on walls of my house, but I was an adult, so I bottled up everything again inside and acted as if nothing was wrong.
Soon after I end up my friendship with Akemi. I couldn't stand to be near her, she reminded me too much of Sakura and the paintings didn't help. But one day, I woke up to the sound of wood being ripped, and before I could mutter a word, Akemi had thrown herself at me, kissing me vigorously on the lips. We made up in my bed, in that time I no longer had feeling for Sakura anymore, but I still feel guilty time to time for having relations with another woman besides Sakura.
We became a couple after that. I no longer was a ninja, she was a civilian. Nothing could go wrong, or so I thought.
Right now I was on my way to the Hokage's office to request for an escort for a trip to the Land of Rice Fields when I bumped into him.
It was the same over again. Our eyes clashed and met. Sasuke looked different since the last time I saw him. His eyes were no longer cold as before, but they were not warm either. His body has grown, his features sharpened. Hn, so I did.
We're no longer children, we're adults now, so I put my best obvious fake smile and extended my hand.
"Sasuke, long time no see."
My voice was full of menace, of rage. All the hatred I had bottled up inside of me suddenly flowed through my body like it was the most natural thing of the world, like when I had the Kyuubi influence on me, but this time, these feelings were all mine and only mine.
"N-Naruto…"
"How's been the married life? Have you already made sex to Sakura, uh? Have you already little Uchiha bastards around in your compound?" I asked with a cold laugh, my eyes blazing with fire.
I knew I was being irrational. Sasuke never really deserved all of this. Not in the wedding, not now. But these feelings were inside of me, blaming Sasuke always has been natural, so why not do it now?
"Naruto….Sakura and I…We're not longer a couple." Said Sasuke still not taking my hand.
I growled, "What? Are you telling me that all I did was for fucking nothing?"
Sasuke gave me a guilty look, "Naruto, Sakura and I broke up six month after being married. We never clicked after a while, we weren't meant to be."
"Bullshit! That's fucking bullshit and you know it! Sakura was supposed to fall for you! You and her were suppose to have children and restore your fucking clan! S-She…She was supposed to marry me!"
I screamed until my lungs hurt. I don't know when I started to cry, but when I touched my face, the tears were there, flowing freely at the sight of everyone.
"Sakura! Sakura I loved you so much that it hurt! Y-You were supposed to love me after I saved the fucking teme!"
I continued to scream her name until my throat was sore. Sasuke tried to calm me but I no longer cared, never I thought Sasuke, of all people, would be consoling me. I pretended it was another person as I cried in Sasuke's shoulder, my body starting to shake.
"Naruto, Sakura left me…She left me because of you. After you left the wedding and never talked to us again. She was devastated. She tried to talk to you but you changed you location, we never heard of you again. Sakura loved you, Naruto."
Before Sasuke could react I punched him in the guts with my left hand, a sad smile broke in my face.
"That's for letting the most beautiful woman in Konoha leave your side."
Sasuke muttered something incomprehensible as the punch left him breathless. I laughed with a newfound joy, I felt my vision blurring.
"And this, is for becoming a jounin…"
I punched Sasuke in the guts again, my hand became numb afterwards.
I threw myself into the ground, as I gazed to the darkened sky, small traces of pink-colored rays were floating above into the sky. I closed my eyes, for once, I felt in peace with the world.
"…Congratulations."
Author Note: It never was my intention to leave this small piece of story in this status, but due time issues, I will label this story as 'Completed' even if I'm going to make an epilogue. Don't worry, there would be some Naruto/Sakura interaction in the near future, but for now, I'll leave the outcome to the reader's imagination. Maybe a happy ending would pop up in the future.
