straight in a straight line

Her moves were methodical, focused, honed to a razor's edge on the task she'd set herself. Fill up the tank. Replace the old battery with the live one from the trunk. Stow her gear within easy reach on the passenger seat. Kick the tires for lack of a better way to check them in the dark. Don't think. DON'T THINK. Don't remember what she was, this time, voluntarily leaving behind.

Carol forced those thoughts back through long practice, used to setting aside want and need in lieu of making do. Just enough. Bare necessities. That was her lot in this new life much like the old. When it came right down to it, this was just another door to walk through. She would come out on the other side still standing, still breathing…no matter how much it hurt.

Her heart ached and bled in places she never knew existed. She felt raw, stripped to the bone, and knew this time would be different than all the other times she'd let something go and bid it goodbye. This time was her choice. Hers alone. They'd said the words. Smiled and welcomed her back with open arms and thanks. It burned like acid, leeching into her skin until it consumed all that she was and had worked so hard to be. She was strong now, with an iron will and a steel spine but being here…in this place with these people that she loved with her heart and soul….melted her like a candle. Her vaulted strength deserted her as water does when it slips through the fingers.

She left the motor running and picked up the gas can before rounding the car to put it in the back with the other supplies she'd gathered. Leaves rustled. A branch crackled underfoot out in the darkness. Her hand gripped her knife and brought it to ready without conscious thought. Heart pounding, she scanned the shifting shadows for a sign. Just one sign. Something. Anything.

He materialized like a wandering spirit, detaching from the encroaching night right in front of her. He had his crossbow strap in a white knuckled grip as he looked past her to the idling car. "What are you doin?"

Words deserted her as she met that narrowed blue gaze. She shook her head, one hand lifting to gesture weakly. "I…don't…know," she finally whispered. Tears blurred already burning eyes. "I was just…"

"Leaving," he finished the sentence for her, pinning her in place with an accusing look. "Where you going? Huh?"

She shrugged, dropping her gaze to her shifting feet. "Away. Somewhere. I don't know."

"Hell no," he spat furiously. "No way. Not again." He slid sideways until he stood between her and the car. "Ain't happening, Carol."

She looked at him helplessly, still gripping her knife like a lifeline. "I have to. Don't you see that? Judith is back with her family. Tyreese is back with Sasha. It's done."

"And you're back with me," he interjected. "With me." He repeated for emphasis, one finger leveled at her to bring the point home.

Carol's breath shuddered, her chest hitching as a wave of emotion broke over her, making the ground shift and heave under her feet. She closed her eyes, shaking her head as she clung to the thought that sent her out here in the first place. They didn't need her. They wouldn't want her when they found out what she'd done, what she'd had to do to put that little girl back in her father's arms.

A low whine escaped her as she felt his arms gather her in, pull her close as he had in the woods just a short time ago. His hand was gentle as he cupped her chin, lifting her eyes to his. "What happened…it happened. It's done. We can start over. All of us. Together. You and me."

"You don't know," she burst out, wedging her arms between their bodies as she tried to get free. Damn but he was stubborn. The fool man let her have breathing room but his hands settled on her hips and stayed.

"I don't need to," he returned. "You're here and I ain't letting you out of my sight again."

She could be stubborn too. She shook her head. Can't do this. Won't do this. Need to go. Have to go. "Daryl," his name slipped out in the faintest of whispers. Pleading. Seeking something from him that she couldn't put into words.

He didn't answer, not with words. He pulled her close, rested his forehead on her shoulder as he had one time before. Her hands lifted of their own accord, combed gently through the tangled strands at his nape. When he stepped back and then turned to go back to the church, she was just one step behind.