SORINA POPA: User Guide and Manual
CONGRATULATIONS! You have just purchased your every own SORINA POPA unit! To ensure that you drain every last drop of wonderful from your unit, we have provided this user manual; reading it would be advised to anyone not wishing to die a painful death by blood loss.
Name: Sorina Popa. Will respond to "Romania", "Rumania", "Romania", "Vampire", "Blood-Sucking Commie", and "Filthy Gypsy" - though she'll be very annoyed at the last three.
Age: 22
Place of Manufacture: Bucharest, Romania
Height: 167 cm
Weight: N/A
Length: N/A
Your SORINA POPA unit comes with the following accessories:
One (1) navy blue military uniform
One (1) LUCIAN THE BAT unit
One (1) set of gypsy clothes
One (1) vampire cape
One (1) VLAD THE IMPALER PLUSH DOLL unit
Two (2) ribbon batons
Five (5) yaoi videos
Programming
Your SORINA POPA is equipped with the following traits:
Gymnast/Cheerleader: Having trouble getting down that gymnastics routine? Need someone to cheer you up and tell you your ideas are great? No problem! Your SORINA POPA unit will be more than happy to show off her amazing flexibility or comfort you when you're feeling down.
Gypsy: The SORINA POPA unit's happy-go-lucky and carefree personality comes from the fact she was a gypsy! She will happily read your palms, tell your future in a crystal ball, or just sing some happy campfire songs!
Sorceress: Your SORINA POPA unit is able to see fairies and perform magic just like an ARTHUR KIRKLAND or NIKOLAI JOHANSEN unit! Her magic may not be as high quality as an ARTHUR KIRKLAND unit's, but she's trying her best!
Vampire: Your SORINA POPA unit will fiercely deny any accusation an ARTHUR KIRKLAND or GILBERT WEILLSCHMIDT unit might make, but there are occasions where she will don her cape in search of an unsuspecting unit.
Removal of your SORINA POPA Unit from Packaging
SORINA POPA is one of the more temperamental units. Waking her wrong can be fatal; for your safety, we have provided a list of ways to get your unit up and about. Warning: These listed are the only ways guaranteed fail-safe and completely harmless. Any other ways could result in high hospital or home restoration bills, which we will not pay.
1. Activate the LUCIAN THE BAT unit. Your SORINA POPA unit will wake up and happily chase him about.
2. Play one of the yaoi videos included. Make sure you have either a FELIKS LUKASIEWICZ, ELIZABETA HEDERVARY, or KIKU HONDA unit nearby unless you want to hear your SORINA POPA unit complaining for the rest of the week.
3. Stand very very far away and call her a 'Filthy Gypsy'. She will burst out of the box, ready to fight an IVAN BRAGINSKI unit. When she sees there is no IVAN BRAGINSKI unit, she will go and search for an ALFRED F. JONES, ELIZABETA HEDERVARY, or a YAO WANG unit to complain too.
4. Play the American anthem very loudly. She will burst out of the box and cling to the nearest ALFRED F. JONES unit. When she finds there is no ALFRED F. JONES unit, she will either search for an ELIZABETA HEDERVARY unit to annoy, or sit depressed in a corner, playing with her VLAD THE IMPALER PLUSH DOLL unit.
Reprogramming
After you successfully get your SORINA POPA unit out of her box, you can reprogram her to any of the following settings:
Happy-Go-Lucky (default)
Fangirl (default)
Tsundere
Enraged
Depressed
Drunk
Friendly
Corrupt/Sadistic (locked)
Yandere (locked)
SORINA comes in default Happy-Go-Lucky and Fangirl. In these two modes, she will be a bit thoughtless and reckless, as well as extremely hyper when 'yaoi' is mentioned. She will enjoy the company of a HERACLES KARPUSI, ALFRED F. JONES, FELIKS LUKASIEWICZ, or YAO WANG unit in these modes. She may refuse to come within the presence of a LUDWIG WEILLSCHMIDT, IVAN BRAGINSKI, or ELIZABETA HEDERVARY unit in this mode. (She might agree to see an ELIZABETA HEDERVARY unit if either a KIKU HONDA or FELIKS LUKASIEWICZ unit is accompanying her.)
The Tsundere mode is unlocked by putting your SORINA POPA unit in an empty room with an ELIZBETA HEDERVARY or GILBERT WEILLSCHMIDT unit. In this mode, she will seem a bit standoffish to other units, but mostly to a KATYUSHA BRAGINSKI, ELIZABETA HEDERVARY, SADIQ ANNAN, or GILBERT WEILLSCHMIDT unit. She will prefer hanging out with a YAO WANG, FRANCIS BONNEFOY, ALFRED F. JONES, or HERACLES KARPUSI unit in this mode. Having your SORINA POPA unit in a room with a FELIKS LUKASIEWICZ unit on his Shy mode will revert her back to normal.
The Enraged mode can be obtained by having her in a room with an IVAN BRAGINSKI unit set on Communist mode or an ELIZABETA HEDERVARY unit set on Transvestite mode. In this mode, your unit will attack any unit who dares to cross her path. She will only accept the company of a YAO WANG or a HERACLES KARPUSI unit in this mode. Having her visit either a KATYUSHA BRAGINSKI unit on Innocent mode, or a NATALIA ARLOVSKAYA on Fangirl mode will revert her back to Friendly mode with the KATYUSHA BRAGINSKI unit, and exposure to the NATALIA ARLOVSKAYA unit will revert her to Fangirl mode.
The SORINA POPA unit's Depressed mode can be activated in many ways. Either set her in a room with an ELIZBETA HEDERVARY unit on Yandere mode, have either your IVAN BRAGINSKI or LUDWIG WEILLSCHMIDT unit mention 'oil' around her, or set a KATYUSHA BRAGINSKI unit to Standoffish mode and have her avoid your SORINA POPA unit. In this mode, you unit will sit around and cry, or refuse to leave her room. She will also not be seen without her VLAD THE IMPALER PLUSH DOLL unit. Reverting your unit out of this mode may prove to be a challenge. Either have a FRANCIS BONNEFOY unit set on his Big Brother mode comfort her or have a FELIKS LUKASIEWICZ, HERACLES KARPUSI, and a TORIS LORINAITIS unit invite her for drinks.
SORINA POPA's Drunk mode can be activated if she goes for drinks with any of the units, or is exposed to a GILBERT WEILLSCHMIDT unit for too long. In this mode, your unit will become extremely horny and will make advances on an ELIZABETA HEDERVARY, KATYUSHA BRAGINSKI, ALFRED F. JONES, or a GILBERT WEILLSCHMIDT unit. She will also have an urge to do karaoke. Luckily, the SORINA POPA unit is a pleasant drunk who won't cause too much damage, unless exposed to a GILBERT WEILLSCHMIDT, FRANCIS BONNEFOY, ANTONIO FERNANDEZ CARREIDO, or an IVAN BRAGINSKI unit. If she comes across any of these units, the results will not be pretty. This unit's Drunk mode is only temporary, and as soon as she gets over her hangover, she'll go into either her default modes or Depressed mode.
The SORINA POPA unit's Friendly mode can easily be activated by allowing her to spend time with either a HERACLES KARPUSI unit, or any of the following units: KATYUSHA BRAGINSKI, FELIKS LUKASIEWICZ, ALFRED F. JONES, or a YAO WANG unit. In this mode, your unit will be unusually friendly towards the ELIZABETA HEDERVARY and GILBERT WEILLSCHMIDT unit. She will also be docile around the other units. To get her out of this mode either expose her to an IVAN BRAGINSKI unit or LUDWIG WEILLSCHMIDT unit on Sadistic mode. With the first option she will be put into Enraged mode, and with the second option she will be put into Depressed mode.
This unit's Corrupt/Sadistic mode is locked for the welfare of the other unit's wallets and bodies. This mode can be unlocked by a VASH ZWINGLI unit on Stingy mode. In this mode, your unit will attempt to swindle the other units out of their money, or will tie up any unsuspecting unit. She's very smooth-talking and sly. The only way to get your unit out of this mode is by making her spend time with a KIKU HONDA unit set on Honest mode.
SORINA POPA's last mode, Yandere, is locked for good reason. In this mode, she will act very different from his normal manner. She will mutter things quietly to her VLAD THE IMPALER PLUSH DOLL unit and will continually stare at you as if thinking up the best way to kill you. In this mode, she will only accept the company of an IVAN BRAGINSKI or LUDWIG WEILLSCHMIDT unit and will stalk the ELIZABETA HEDERVARY, ALFRED F. JONES, and GILBERT WEILLSCHMIDT unit excessively. To get her out of this mode, you will have to set her in a room with a FRANCIS BONNEFOY unit set on Big Brother mode and a FELIKS LUKASIEWICZ unit in his Protective mode.
Relationships with Other Units
ELIZABETA HEDERVARY: Normally your unit will be hostile towards this unit, but they do share the same love of yaoi and can use this to bond. They fight like cats and dogs, but this unit is the one that your SORINA POPA unit will most likely fall in love with.
HERACLES KARPUSI: Your unit is closer to him than most units, but a relationship is unlikely. Your unit regards him as a brother and loves to slack off with him.
GILBERT BEILLSCHMIDT: They dislike each other a bit, but have a highly possible chance of a romance. They both love to stir up trouble for the ELIZABETA HEDERVARY and RODERICH EDELSTEIN units.
FELIKS LUKASIEWICZ: Your SORINA POPA unit loves this unit as a brother. He supplies SORINA POPA with a lot of her yaoi tapes, and they both have respect for each other.
KATYUSHA BRAGINSKI: These units are neighbors and have been best friends for a long time. They occasionally do have their disputes, but always seem to work it out. Your SORINA POPA unit might fall in love with this unit, but it's not very likely.
ALFRED F. JONES: Your unit idolizes this unit! She acts like his personal cheerleader and will even occasionally go out for a hamburger with him! A romance between these two is very likely.
IVAN BRAGINSKI: Interaction between these units is highly prohibited. There was a time where your unit lived in his mother's house and called him 'brother'. But now, these two hate each other with a burning passion.
LUDWIG WEILLSCHMIDT: Another unit that isn't too fond of the SORINA POPA unit. They have hard feelings about WWII and Vlad the Impaler, so a romance is nearly impossible.
YAO WANG: Your unit regards this unit as her older brother. He taught you unit all she knows about gymnastics, so she holds a deep respect for him. She is quite fond of him and a romance is possible.
FRANCIS BONNEFOY: The FRANCIS BONNEFOY unit is actually your unit's big brother. He helped her military expand and they are on friendly terms. Occasionally your unit will turn to him for advice on love. A romance between these two is possible, but it won't last long.
Cleaning
Your unit is perfectly capable of cleaning herself, but she might allow other units to wash her, depending on her mode.
Feeding
Luckily, your SORINA POPA unit inherited her big brother FRANCIS BONNEFOY's ability to cook, but the SORINA POPA unit will also happily eat anything. Even an ARTHUR KIRKLAND unit's cooking. She generally tends to prefer hamburgers or cozonac to any other foods, though.
Rest
Your unit is almost nocturnal, though she will sleep during most nights. If you catch her trying to sneak out the window, she's either going to meet a GILBERT WEILLSCHMIDT or ELIZABETA HEDERVARY unit and will probably be back by morning.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: My unit is crying because she ripped her VLAD THE IMPALER PLUSH DOLL unit! What do I do? She won't stop!
A: The answer is simple. You must get a FELIKS LUKASIEWICZ unit to repair it for her. He is very good with stitching and he will happily fix anything for your unit.
Q: My unit being friendly towards the LUDWIG WEILLSCHMIDT unit! I thought she hated him?
A: You might want to get out of the house. NOW. You've obviously accidentally activated the Yandere mode, so to get her out of this mode, you will have to set her in a room with a FRANCIS BONNEFOY unit set on Big Brother mode and a FELIKS LUKASIEWICZ unit in his Protective mode.
Troubleshooting
Problem: Your unit is throwing a fit for no reason and refuses to speak to the KATYUSHA BRAGINSKI unit.
Solution: Your unit is just experiencing a dispute between her and the KATYUSHA BRAGINSKI unit. Until she calms down, we suggest you keep her away from the IVAN BRAGINSKI unit who will be mad at her for making his sister upset.
Problem: You opened the box we sent you and found that, instead of an older teenage female, there was a girl of about ten lying in the box wearing gypsy clothes. Upon awakening, she whines for Vlad the Impaler and refuses to see most of the other units.
Solution: Oops! We sent you a Gypsy!Romania unit on accident! In this form, she is completely anti-social to most of the other units. She will prefer to hang around an IVAN BRAGINSKI or HERACLES KARPUSI unit, calling them both 'frate'. She will also absolutely refuse to see an ELIZBETA HEDERVARY or SADIQ ANNAN unit and destroys things if she doesn't get her way. If you don't want such an anti-social unit, feel free to call Customer Services for an exchange.
End Notes
With the proper respect and care, your SORINA POPA unit will turn out to be the most amazing purchase you've ever made, as well as a loyal companion. We wish you a fun time with your unit. Good luck!
