The Stupid Kitsune Cupid


Money or power will not bring you joy,

For only with true love comes true happiness.


"I thought after you'd become Kazekage you'd be a little more cheery" Naruto said, scratching his head as Gaara stared blankly ahead. "I mean look, you have all this and you still can't crack a smile" Naruto waved his arms trying to show as much of Suna as he could. Still, Gaara ignored him. As they passed, citizens avoided their eyes, scuttling past Gaara as quickly and quietly as they could. Yes they respected him, but they still feared him. Naruto sighed in defeat, coming to a stop. Gaara ignored him again and kept walking. Suddenly, it dawned on Naruto, and he sprinted back to the redhead's side. "I GOT IT!!" he cheered jumping in front of Gaara and pointing at him. "You need… A WIFE!!"

"A wife?" Gaara asked as though he was unaware of what such a thing could be.

"Yeah!" Naruto cried in delight.

"And what would this 'wife' be?"

"Oh…"


"A wife is a girl that you're in love with?" Gaara said, sipping his green tea. Naruto nodded, his own tea untouched.

"Yeah, and you live with them, share everything with them, look after them, make love to them…" Naruto waved his hand as if to say 'etcetera, etcetera…' but of course, he couldn't remember the correct word. Idiot.

"Make love?"

"Geez… It's hard to explain. I mean me and Sakura-chan are getting married soon but we can't demonstrate nothing for you. You just need to find the right girl, someone who won't mind your inexperience and who'll be able to fit with your personality… or something like that" Naruto said resting his chin in his palms. "These people here don't seem the right type for you, way too doom and gloom. But there might be someone in Konoha I could give you…" Naruto paused as Gaara stared at him with a rather bored look on his handsome face. "Well Sakura's mine, so you can't have her. Besides, I think she's a bit too feisty for you. Ino… it just wouldn't work, she's too obsessive and overbearing. TenTen… Lee would kill me. Err… who else is there, I'm missing someone…" Naruto screwed up his face in concentration, folding his arms stubbornly. "Ah! Hinata! But Hinata's… Wait! No she's perfect!" Naruto cried, clapping his hands together in delight.

"Hinata…?" Gaara repeated slowly.

"Yeah! You saw her at the Chuunin exams remember! Blue haired girl with white eyes, blushed a lot, quiet and freaky" Naruto described as Gaara looked slightly thoughtful.

"The one that fought the other Hyuuga and lost" Gaara said.

"Yeah that's her! I mean, you're both quiet and aren't sociable, and she's a really nice person so she'll be able to melt that icy heart of yours!" Naruto cried. He stood up suddenly. "I'll rush back to Konoha and arrange it with Hiashi! There's no way he'll turn it down! Of course I'll say it's just a trial and all, but this is gonna be great! Me and Sakura-chan will move down and help you out until you're settled and Obaachan will be sure to agree too!" Naruto cried excitedly.

"Hyuuga Hinata… Hmm…" Gaara said, a memory of the small shy girl coming to his mind as Naruto bounced around with glee. "I wonder…"


"Ha!" Hinata cried as she struck a tree with her palm. Her thick curtain of midnight blue hair swung over her shoulders as she moved, her bangs sticking to her forehead with sweat. She panted with exhaustion, her chest heaving as she went to strike the tree again.

A man watched from a tree a fair distance behind her. He brushed his dark bangs away from his eyes so he had a better view of her.

Uchiha Sasuke had returned to Konoha after a rather messy business of joining an S-class criminal and then killing his brother and trying to destroy his place of birth. He came back willingly, deciding to keep the title of the Uchiha being one of the greatest clans in Konoha and had intended to restore it to its former glory and beyond. Of course, instead of being welcomed back with open arms and treated like a king, he was scolded and put on probation, allowed on D-rank missions with his old team that constantly complained at what they had to do. Joy.

But Uchiha Sasuke had found something interesting on these D-ranks. A certain girl he came across now and then; a blundering, blushing, clumsy girl with dark hair and pale eyes. He saw her at the hospital when he had to wash floors (ugh…) and again at a grocery store when he was sent to get an old woman's shopping (ugh…) and yet again at the Academy when he had to assist in the teaching of little kids (ughhh…).

She caught his interest, being rather odd and all, and he could vaguely recall her from his academy days as an extremely shy Hyuuga that had a crush on not him (surprisingly) but Naruto (ughhh…).

He came across her training, and instead of training himself, he decided to watch her. He was surprised at how long she spent, hours upon hours, longer than most kunoichi normally would. It was dark by the time she would finish and he would sometimes fall asleep in his tree, only to be woken up by her before dawn the next morning when she would come back and train again.

But those were only on her few days off. She was a Chuunin and did C and sometimes B-rank missions. Other days she would do volunteer work at the hospital and other days he supposed she had clan matters to attend to.

With her Byakugan she always knew he was there, but never confronted or questioned him. He wondered why, but appreciated it, not wanting to have to explain himself. She would only speak to him when it started to get late and he fell asleep, waking him up so he wouldn't spend the night out in the cold.

She would move with grace, unlike Sakura who had was about as elegant as a charging bull, and looked surprisingly gentle in her movements (though she obviously wasn't) she was quiet and looked delicate, as though she needed protecting.

So why was Sasuke, prodigy, last remaining Uchiha, interested in mousy little Hyuuga Hinata?

Because she was different.

Because she stayed out of other peoples business so not to offend.

Because she was considerate and polite enough to wake him up so he wouldn't get ill in the cold.

Because she didn't throw herself at him, like a large majority of the female population did (he felt no pride at this, just utter disgust).

Because she was timid, yet worked so hard to prove herself.

Because underneath her modestly baggy clothes she was actually rather attractive.

And… to be honest he didn't really know.

As of late, he had found himself making small talk with her. He came down from his tree and meditated, but then would make conversation when it got too quiet. He wasn't much of a talker, and neither was she, speaking only when spoken to (and with a violent stutter in the beginning) but as she was starting to become more comfortable around him, she spoke more confidently, and he found it pleasant.

"Sasuke-kun?" she asked, as he jumped down and approached her from behind. She shut of her Byakugan and looked round at him.

Through their small talk, he had discovered that her Byakugan would cause migraines behind her eyes if she used it too long. She would also sometimes get dizzy spells and faint if she strained her eyes. She would openly tell him about her kekkei genkai, knowing he was interested, but he thought her a little naïve and too trusting. She would get hurt if she wasn't careful.

"Ohayo—" Sasuke began to reply, but an obnoxious shout interrupted him and caused him to groan and look away, his temper immediately becoming foul.

"HINATA-CHAAANNN!!" screeched the voice of his team-mate and Hinata's ex-crush Uzumaki Naruto. Surprisingly, after he started openly dating Sakura she congratulated them warmly and started dating Kiba, but was broken up by the constant strain her father put her under saying that she shouldn't be dating 'scum like that Inuzuka' when she was 'the heiress to the most prestigious clan in Konoha'.

"N-Naruto-kun, can I help you?" she asked as she blushed shyly.

"You're getting married!" Naruto cried in delight.

"I w-w-what?"

"She what?!" Sasuke shouted.

"To Gaara! You know! Kazekage Gaara! Gaara from Suna! Gaara!" Naruto cried. Hinata flushed an alarming shade of tomato red, before her eyes rolled to the back of her head and Sasuke rushed to catch her.

"Baka! What are you going on about?!" Sasuke hissed, holding a limp Hinata up.

"Lets bring her to Tsunade-baachan's office, so she can explain. Carry her will you teme? I had a long journey." Naruto said airily, walking back toward the Hokage mansion. Grumbling Sasuke hoisted her up, her head lolling backwards as he tried to shift her into a more comfortable position. Giving up, he just set off after Naruto.


"Uzumaki Naruto I told you to wait until she gets here and let me break it to her!" Tsunade roared, slamming her hands on her desk and towering over the blond shinobi. "She needed to be told gently with reasoning! Not blurted out by a loud, obnoxious BAKA!!"

"But Hinata will agree anyway!" Naruto whined, holding his ears and cowering away from the frightening woman. Hinata stirred and tried to roll over (which she failed to do) and her eyes slowly fluttered open, to see Uchiha Sasuke's perfectly sculpted jaw.

"EEEK!" she cried, quickly wriggling out of his grasp and clutching the wall in terror.

"Hyuuga Hinata, you have a mission" Tsunade said, sitting down and switching to her authoritive voice. "You are to move to Suna for a period of up to a year and have a trial relationship with the Kazekage. Uzumaki Naruto and Haruno Sakura will be nearby and will assist you if a situation should arise. This is your first A-rank mission. Any questions?"

"Yeah. Why her?" Sasuke said, shoving his hands deep into his pockets as he scowled darkly.

"Ohhh? Do you have a problem with it Mr. High-and-Mighty-and-Still-On-Probation-Uchiha?" Tsunade asked, a Cheshire cat smile spreading on her face as her eyes gleamed with a mischievous spark. "Then I think you should be Hinata-chan's bodyguard, with her night and day to protect her from the unpredictable Subaku no Gaara, agreed?"

"Uhmm?" Hinata squeaked.

"It's agreed then!" Tsunade said decidedly. "Uchiha! Celebrate, get drunk, you're off probation and have your first mission tomorrow!"

"Hn."

"Now that's sorted, you're dismissed, get out, especially—UZUMAKI DON'T YOU TOUCH THAT!" with a shriek, Tsunade hurled a pen at Naruto who had been reaching for a scroll hitting him squarely between the eyes. Naruto fell backwards, immediately knocked out.

Sakura apologised then grabbed hold of Naruto's ear and dragged him out the office, cursing under her breath. Sasuke glanced at Hinata who was fidgeting uncomfortably. She needn't worry, he will protect her. He felt a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach as he thought that. Yes. He would protect Hinata.