So, I finally went ahead and decided to finish this, but not without redoing the whole story, because that's apparently my thing now, ha. I very well might win the award for longest gap between updates, I think 2009 was the last time I worked on this. Better late than never!

Thank the user rawshark (also check out stories!) for this progression, since a little while ago they gave me the final push I needed to get moving and finish the story as well as a ton of support.

I'm aware some of you may have read the original version of this, I was going to post it all at once but I got far too excited and impatient to finish everything before I posted. Hopefully you all read it long enough ago to have forgotten what happened, hehe.

I had so much fun coming back to this, so I really hope you have fun reading.

Disclaimer: Though I may want to, I don't own a thing.

The beginning is set on the stage during the kerfuffle (I like the word kerfuffle) between villains and the Princess's gang, just after Artie's cute speech. With me? Good.


It's a Happily Ever After, After All

I struggled against the arms that restrained me. My skin felt torn and sore where the rough bark of the tree creature held onto me. The longer I could not escape, the more anger built up within me. The plan I had so perfectly put together had failed. I was so sure I had the freaks to back me up, a band of losers, to make sure I would win. It didn't occur to me that the people I was up against were bigger freaks to lure them further from their comfort zones than I ever could. What was my fairytale anyway? I didn't have magic, I was human. Why would they listen to me? I wasn't even royal… Well, I was but… Ugh the thought of everything made me sick. I had to stop dwelling and draw my focus back to the task at hand. They were hugging, happy. How cute. But the show wasn't over…

The tree was distracted, of course it was. It didn't even care when I broke free, I was the loser after all. Hm. My eyes darted around, a sword. Could I? To the boy? In front of everyone? I would be King. I am King. I can do what I want. I darted forward, grabbing the sword and raising it above my head in one swoop. Don't think. As I swung the weapon downwards, he coward, some King… But my swing was interrupted. It took me a few seconds to register the ogre's chain had caught my sword, and despite my futile attempts to release it, he held tight. Before I could make another move he swung me around, I staggered but remained upright, thank you Mother. I couldn't pull back without losing my weapon, not an option. I couldn't move anywhere but forward.

Forward.

His smug face said he had me. My smarts said he didn't.

Don't think, Charming.

Run.

Killing someone really is as satisfying as you'd think. The air flushed out of their body in a long groan, limbs going limp, the last look they give you before they bow their head, the gasps and silence that follows, I could go on…

"A new era finally begins," I announced, just as rehearsed, "Now all of you, bow before your King!" The silence continued, nobody moved. They sat like stunned idiots. Anger bubbled within me, "I order you to bow!" It was then that I realised they had moved their attention to something behind me, their eyes all widening in unison, another collective gasp.

Shrek?

I turned quickly, bracing myself for the ogre to be there, confronting me, ruining my plans, my life, all over again.

Ah. It was only the boy.

He lunged himself on top of me and we fell to the floor. He blew a punch at my face, it was harder than I thought to restrain him. I didn't want to appear desperate though I couldn't help but struggle, fighting without the dignity of a sword was beyond my limits. The fairytale freaks clearly had no spine, no one bothered to help their King. I'd remember that.

"What sort of King loses their temper like this?" I hissed at the boy.

It obviously hit a nerve, I inwardly applauded myself. He was staring at me, intensely. I flashed him a smile and was spat on in return. Wonderful. Wiping the spit away from my face I scrambled up from under him. He only sat. Staring at the ground. How very Kingly.

"Some seize him!" I shouted at the freaks, it silenced the audience I hadn't realised were speaking in hushed whispers.

Again, nobody moved.

Just to make it perfectly clear I picked up the crown which had escaped my person during the struggle and placed it firmly on my head, "I order you to seize him."

Hesitantly the tree creatures stumbled forward and pulled him to his feet, keeping his arms firmly in their grasp. I didn't think their attention would lapse with this prisoner. Finally something was going my way.

I paused before I turned to the whimpering sound that had been nudging at the back of my mind. She softly choked out his name, over and over. I had to be careful, I wouldn't win if she pulled a stunt like the boy. I nodded at the men who had previously been holding her back, the rope still hanging in their arms. I noticed all my enemies had been restrained once again. The fairytale creatures were at least smart enough to know who was winning.

Smirking, I turned to the scene I had created. The ogre was dead, his wife on her knees beside him, mourning. She turned her head up to face me, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"How dare you…"

The men were ahead of her as she leapt to her feet, hatred burning in her eyes. For a second I doubted myself, of course she was strong enough to pull them away, but as the rope tightened around her waist she suddenly stopped. It was uncharacteristic of her, but whatever her reason, it pleased me. She allowed them to drag her back to the ground. It was a breath of fresh air seeing her finally submit to me. I leant in closer to her, the smell of blood and tears made me smirk, chuckle even.

I dared touch her chin, forcing her eyes to meet mine. I sneered at her,

"And I didn't even need you."


I am King Charming of Far Far Away.

The throne, my rightful throne, finally belonged to me.

Though I was blood stained and dishevelled, I had never been so proud in my life. It really was my best performance. I should take a leaf out of the boy's book and spit on everyone who laughed at me. I could see it now, the stories they'd tell, the pictures in the books, the songs they'd sing!

"Just imagine it, Mum!" I did a small celebratory skip, "We did it…"

I turned into the courtyard and was immediately met with a shadowy tearful face.

"Honey, I thought you said you wouldn't hurt anyone."

Rapunzel. My beautiful, bald, bride-to-be.

"But Sugar Muffin," I gracefully took her into my arms, "I didn't . I did what we planned."

"That looked horrible…"

I put a finger to her lips, "Shh. Just like I promised, everything will be fine. Your friends will be taken care of and you shall be my Queen."

"They'll be in the dungeon, right?" she gave me a small smile, something darker in her eyes.

"Right. Now there's my Princess," I took her face in my hands. Secret lovers could finally be on top, "We've been trampled down and had our dreams crushed for the last time."

"You do remember our deal though, don't you Charming?" she ducked out of my kiss, my expression dropping.

"Yes, yes… No towers…" I was getting impatient, when could my dealings with the enemy be over?

"I don't care how much I dislike the ex-Princess Fiona, I hate towers more," she raised an eyebrow at me, standing firmly.

The corners of my lips tugged upwards. Why was there always something I liked about a woman who knew what she wanted? But the tower deal bugged me. I had a thing about girls in towers. It made for an exciting story. I'd humour her. For now.

"I understand you, my love," I grinned at her, the little smile creeping back onto her face, allowing me to sweep her down for a low kiss.

"Oh Pookie, everything is perfect," she giggled, her tone lowered, "I can practically hear the jealously from where we're standing."

"Our palace awaits…" I grabbed her waist and pulled her until our hips bounced and began walking through the darkness to the beautiful castle, "We'll start decorating tomorrow. Tonight we'll get you a new wig… Maybe you could try being a brunette. And perhaps something a little shorter."

It truly was a happily ever after, after all.

Or at least it would be once the rebellion was over, and the prisoners were properly dealt with. But that could all wait until the morning… Of course, that's if I could sleep.

. . .


Please R&R! Thank you for reading!