A/N: Written for the 1st day of birdflash week and inspired by the following post: birdflash .tumblr post / 90911737313 / independence-day-screencaps-via-yjscreencaps (sans spaces)
And yes, I just did a buffy reference because HOW COULD I NOT?
If you're going, I'm going
"Dude." Wally says and he's blushing and it puts Dick in a horrible situation because he can never prepare himself enough for how absolutely adorable Wally can be. He wants to kiss him and lick his face and fuck him hard against a wall and watch him get even more flushed, but that would be an extremely inappropriate thing to do during their wedding ceremony with all of their friends and family watching, it would be a lot more inappropriate than the way Wally decides to begin his wedding vows with. "I promise to love you, to cherish you, to honor you, but not to obey you, of course, because that's anachronistic and unhealthy and who you do you think you are, like a sea captain or something?
Kaldur would have been confused at Wally's vows and at the way Dick seems to be enjoying them, if he wasn't best friends with both of them. So he just waits for Wally to continue.
"I promise to keep quoting buffy and other awesome TV shows until I wear you down and get you to marathon it all with me so we can cuddle all night long." The redhead smiles when he hears M'Gann squeal with delight because she's the only one who actually got the reference and approved of it.
"I promise to keep trying to take your sunglasses off because they're stupid and your eyes are beautiful and I know you wear them just to annoy the hell out of me." He just scoffs at Dick's how-dare-you-accuse-me-of-something-so-horrible puppy eyes and pinches his nose to get him to stop, which ends with Dick trying to bite his fingers of. Kaldur has to fake a cough to get them to focus on the matter at hand that just happens to be their own wedding.
"I promise to wake you up every day with kisses and coffee and some inappropriate comments about your butt." The previous blush returns with full strength, but it doesn't stop him from saying something about his boyfriend's butt and it never will. "I promise to never stop with the pet names you pretend to hate so much and to never stop calling you a dork because you're the biggest dork ever, especially when you're trying your hardest not to be."
"Kid Dork." Dick mouths to him and Kaldur glares at him because, now is not the time,but both Wally and Dick miss their friend and officiant's silent disapproval because they're both too busy being pathetically in love with each other.
"I promise to never stop complaining that you chose another uniform so you can keep fighting off bad guys even as Dick Grayson because it sucks and I'll never be okay with you putting yourself in danger more than you already do, but, I promise to be there for you and back you up whatever decision you make because I trust you and I love you so much and I can't wait to be married to you, oh my god. Why is this taking so long?" Wally's basically bouncing where he stands and Dick can hear Artemis snorting to their right.
Dick takes Wally's hand, squeezing it, and the excitement is probably contagious, - actually everything about Wally is contagious because he's always so Wallyand it's ridiculous, - because he actually considers fast forwarding through his own vows or actually just saying 'I love you' over and over again and then kissing him senseless. It conveys his feelings on the subject pretty well and he doesn't think he'll make it to the 'you may now kiss' part, anyway. But then Barbara elbows him and he changes his minds back.
"Wallace Rudolph West." Dick starts, overly pleased at how he makes the redhead groan exasperated. "Wally." He corrects himself because Wally's very cute when he's mad, but he's even cuter when he's smiling. "I promise to hit you hard in the head every time you make an inappropriate comment about my butt, and then I promise to kiss your tears away until you feel better. I also promise to make the greatest comeback pun aboutyour buttthat will make your comment about my butt cry like a baby and run away in shame."
"I promise not to gloat every time I beat you at video games even though you have superspeed." He pauses, as if thinking it over. "Okay, fine, I'll gloat, but then I'll honestly feel really bad about it because, you know, it's not your fault you suck so much." He gets an outraged look from Wally that only grows more outraged when the audience laughs.
"I promise to always listen patiently to your rants about how 'science is better than magic' even though you being in denial is very tiring." He gives the audience a moment to agree with him and everybody does. "But I promise to, at least, pretend to listen and pet your hair every five minutes so you feel encouraged to keep going."
"I promise to actually buy healthy food instead of just noodles and donuts and coffee because from now on I'll have a human vacuum to cook for." Dick finishes with a smile so big the sides of his mouth are hurting and that's on Wally because he's mouthing 'my hero' and pretending to swoon, the dork.
"I promise to go along all your ideas and plans even though they are ridiculous and destined to fail because not only I enjoy watching you fall on your cute butt, but I'm your best bro and that's what best bros do and I actually love spending time with you, so I can't wait for the rest of our lives to start. I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you're going, I'm going." He finishes it off and they both turn to Kaldur with the goofiest and biggest grins ever and Kaldur sighs, but it's somehow fond.
Contrary to their own beliefs, they make it to the "you may now kiss' bit and once they begin, they never stop. But no one expects them to.
