A/N: Okay, so when i have somthing in my head i have to get it out. this came to me while in a car trip staring out the the windscreen from the back, watching oncoming traffic, wondering if you would know, the exact instant before you died that you were going to die. (emo huh? lol) this consequently resulted in a long internal debate with myself over what happens when you die. If any hof you have read 'The Lovely Bones' you will understand the whole well thing, that was where that idea came from. anyway so full summary, it's in New Moon when Bella jumps off the cliff, but in this story, It was intentional, not recreational. Bella gets to watch earth from Elsewhere and must make the decision werther to go back to living or to stay dead. what will she choose?

Disclaimer: I own nothing. this is purely a creative way of expressing myself and to get stuff out of my head. Twilight and Newmoon belongs to Stepheneie Meyer.

Chapter One: An ending, but also maybe a beginning.

I had always wondered, what happened when someone died. I had never
exactly feared it. I wasn't particularly religious. I wasn't sure if I
believed in heaven or hell or God or angels or the devil, for that matter.
I had wondered if you would be reincarnated or if there was a heaven or
some kind of after life. But I knew as I watched the light above the water
fade as I started to sink further and further below the surface that I was
about to find out. I had not intentionally meant for this to happen, when
I had jumped I had not thought this would be my last act on earth. The
underlying current, which had never even entered my mind, was too strong
and I was too weak. The cold had paralyzed me, and even if I wanted to
stop and fight for life now, it was too late. My arms were spread wide as
if embracing my fate. Welcoming death. Succumbing to the nothingness I had
felt when he (who I could not even bear to think his name) had left me.

I mentally farewelled my love. My friends, my parents, my world. I would
not be too greatly missed. And at least this was not painful, the pain
that I would have had to endure if I had died in any other of my past near
death experiences. This was finally it. I would cease to exist. I closed
my eyes and felt the last bubbles of precious air escape my lips and
slowly allowed myself to float into oblivion. And at that moment, when I
realised that I had died, I mourned my death. I longed to say the things I
had never said to Renee and Charlie. I longed to do all the things I had
been waiting for. I wanted to finish school, get a degree, travel the
world, get married, and have children even. I wanted, desperately, to
live. Edward leaving me no longer mattered. I had broken my promise. How
could I be so careless of myself? And what about Jacob?

"Bella" I could hear a familiar voice, calling my name, and a warm smooth
hand stroking my head. "Bella, wake up, dear." But I'm dead… aren't I? I
slowly opened my eyes, and there sat my Grandmother. "Oh my god, I am dead
aren't I?" She nodded sadly. "Yes Bella, I'm afraid you are my dear,
welcome to elsewhere." "Elswhere? Where is elsewhere? What happened?" I
moaned.
"You jumped of the cliff in LaPush. The current swept you under, and it
was very cold and you drowned."

I couldn't think. Couldn't move. I sat numb with shock. I was dead. 18
years. That was all I had. It seemed so short. I was now furious at
myself. What would he think if he ever found out? How could I be so
selfish? I was loved. Maybe not by who I loved the most but by Charlie and
Renee and Jacob. What had happened? Why in my weakest of moments had I
been tested in a test that had now determined my fate?

I now longed for them both. I wanted to press my body against Edward's
cold marble body. Smell his sweet smell. Hear his melodious voice,
whispering in my ear. Taste his glorious kisses and feel his lips moving
with mine. I wanted to feel Jacob's strong arms around me. Be wrapped in
his bone crushing hug. I wanted to feel his warm body close to mine and
his lips smashed up against my own. Wait… what? Kiss Jacob? But I love
Edward. I do. I love Edward. We belong together. But… Jacob, I want to
kiss him too.

This was not right. I love Edward. But I love Jacob too. He had been my
sun in the darkest of nights. He made me see some light. I knew he loved
me too.

"Bella, it's not too late. You could go back." My grandmother startled me
from my thoughts. "But… you said" "Yes you are dead at this moment. But
they are trying to resuscitate you. See how you are not solid like me?" I
looked down at my body, clothed in a light white dress. I could see the
ground through me. That was weird. "You have a choice to make Bella. You
can go back." Gran spoke suddenly. "You can go back to where you will
still be in pain. Edward will still be gone. But Charlie and Renee are
there. As is Jacob and Angela. You can go back and live the rest of your
life. Complete the things you wanted to do. If you want. But you must
choose soon. You are running out of time." I thought about it. I loved
Edward with all my being. He had left me. He didn't love me. There was no
point in life if he didn't love me, what was the point? "Gran, he doesn't
love me. There is no point." I whispered. "Isabella! I would have thought
you to know better than it is not the end of the world if a boy doesn't
love you." She scolded. "But I will give you a gift. A gift of sight. Look
here." She indicated at a well behind me. She led me to the well and
looked down at the dark water. "Show her Edward" she commanded calmly.

The water stirred and it became light blue like the sky and then turned
cloudy. Suddenly it showed earth. As if it was a long way a way. It zoomed
closer, pass stars, entering the earth's atmosphere, through clouds and
vapour, toward the blurs of green and brown land. It got closer I started
to see tiny houses and cars, which gradually got bigger and bigger. It was
like looking out the window of a landing plane. Then we came to a run down
house and entered a dark and filthy attic. There on the ground, in a ball,
lay my love. Pain and anguish contorted his god-like face. Suddenly his
phone started to vibrate. He looked at it, and a look of shock entered his
features. He answered it; "What?" he asked tensely. My spine shivered at
the sound of his voice. Then suddenly he shut the phone shut and
whispered; "Leave me alone". My pain that I had endured was nothing to
what I felt now, looking at the pain that was so evident on my love's face
was worse than that. The phone started to vibrate again, he paused to
consider something before answering it again; "Get on with it" he growled.
He paused and then his eyes opened and he stared at the ceiling. "What?"
he asked his voice flat and emotionless. Then after listening to whatever
the caller was saying he looked extremely angry. Then he pinched his nose.
A trait that he only performed when he was having trouble controlling his
anger. It was such an Edward thing to do.

After another long pause, he answered what I could only assume to be a
question asksd from the other side; "Not particulary." Then finally I was
informed to who was calling him. "Then why did you call me, Rosalie, if
not to get Alice in trouble? Why are you bothering me?" My breath caught
at the mentioning of my old best friends name and I started to wonder what
was going on. Why wasn't He with his family?

Well what do you think? Read and review :)