20 things you should never say to Dracula if you value your life.

Disclaimer: The author of this list is exempt from any liability should the verbalisation of the following statements lead to loss of limbs, permanent disfigurement and/or death.

...Hawthorne, or wild Rose?

Your castle is now a tourist attraction.

I like Shish-Kebabs.

The Turkish rule.

Hey! Free ticket to Istanbul.

...By the way, I planted a garlic patch in your cemetery.

How'd you get your head back from Turkey, anyway?

Hey, look, a Televangelist!

Jesus loves me, this I know...

The Pope's coming for dinner tomorrow. And you can't eat him!

...My mother was Turkish.

AAHH! RAT!...oh, sorry....hehe...my bad....

You know, a castle this old should really have a church...

Let's go swimming in that river next to your castle!

Look! Radu!

Look! Mehmed II!

Look! Stephen the Great!

Ruthven was way hotter.....

You've been upstaged by sparkly wimps.

The Turkish won.