Note from the author: Right, this came to me through the form of another book about the notes that students leave around the flat entitled "I lick my cheese" I thought it would be funny. As for the title, well it got your attention didn't it? I am a genius, no word of a lie. Except I'm not green... Read the story and you'll know what that means.

Two Monsters One Cup

I had actually gotten away with it; Trekkie will be none the wiser. I am a green genius, no word of a lie. I had managed to get into Trekkie's flat, around the flat, pick up his box of porn and then out of the house before he got home and realises that it's gone. But of course Trekkie has so much porn he won't really know that one box has gone missing.

I knew that it was going to be about another hour before Rod got home so now was time for a little bit of "Nicky Alone Time" which meant I was polishing the rocket. I grinned slightly as I looked down at the box that was my prize. The titles screamed up at me and I really needed to get into my room to sort myself out. Now I know why Trekkie was always moaning and saying he was "busy". These titles were just far too good.

I placed the top video into the video player and pressed play, grabbing the kleenex out of my top drawer. I just prayed that Rod wasn't finishing early. Things like this usually disgusted him; he hated the moans that came from Trekkie's flat and his voicing of this wasn't exactly quiet.

After watching the first two films I had to look at the clock. Nearly home time for the majority of the businessmen and women of the world, which meant Rod would nearly be home too. I sighed and then grabbed the videos and placed them under my bed.

Whilst pushing the box under my bed I noticed a yellow post-it note on the side of the box. I lifted it off to read it. "I tag my porn. I know where it is. GET THE FUCK OFF NICKY!"

Ahhhhh Shit!