Two Months Later
When is an Eskimo Kiss not an Eskimo Kiss? One-shot.

My brain power is enhanced by the knowledge that there are people out there who like me, didntcha know. This one will appeal to Spandy (Sponge-x-Sandy) and Squandy (Squid-x-Sandy) fans alike.
Disclaimer: Don't own him. Or her.
Band8PGeek.


"Now, remember, Sandy doesn't like it when you call her Sand, it's Sandy; with a y, OK – "
"SpongeBob, I know."
"Oh, and you gotta make sure you start from the left side, and then go to the right, otherwise it isn't a proper – "
"SpongeBob, I know."
"Do you have the chocolate covered nuts, Sandy is crazy about those; if you don't bring 'em you might as well just – "
This time, Squidward pulled away in frustration. "SpongeBob, we've been over these 'last-minute instructions' 15 times already. Just let me get on with it and wait until I get out." With that, he snatched the nearest water helmet and walked on to the Treedome, pace quicker than normal.

SpongeBob watched him go, wondering whether it would be easier for himself if he were in the aqua calamari's position, ready to deliver rather than stand by the sidelines. It'd certainly be easier for Squid; he didn't even want to be here.
It was mostly Mr Krabs' fault. The poker scheme with Plankton not being as beneficial as it used to be, he'd turned his gambling eye to other prospects. And when the lunch rush punks made a bet that "that grumpy cashier" wouldn't be able to get Eskimo kissed in 24 hours, how could a money-addict like Krabs resist? (It was only $5, but according to him, every penny was worth it.)

SpongeBob sighed a bit. He knew he was being over-supportive. But it was mostly a cover for his gut instinct: deep down it killed him. It had been no secret for some time that he regarded the Texan-talkin' squirrel as more than a sweet friend. She was smart, sassy, sweet, sexy - everything that the sponge admired in a girl. Put simply, he idolized her. But the physical capabilities of such a relationship had always made him hold back his emotions in favour of fun, games and laughter.

But fun, games and laughter weren't enough anymore.

And now, with Squidward at the door of the Treedome, mustering up the courage to carry out his dare – give Sandy an Eskimo kiss – the sponge felt torn in two. Literally.

After all, it wasn't as even as if Squidward liked Sandy at all, let alone in that way.

Right?


"Sandy, it's Squidward. Let me in and let's get this over with."
One Eskimo kiss lead to another.

And another.
And another.


Two months later, Sandy had a doctor's appointment.

Symptoms:
- nausea
- 2 missed periods
- sudden crankiness
- knocked-up feeling

Diagnosis:
Congratulations, Mommy!!


Needless to say, SpongeBob didn't take the news very well, his emotions burning past his optimism. "Squidward, you said you would only give her an Eskimo kiss. You wouldn't call this an Eskimo Kiss, would you? Huh?"

Squid just shrugged. "Horny Eskimo."