Author's Note: This is my first time submitting a fic, so please go easy on me and don't hesitate to give me advice! As long as it's not exactly criticizing me cuz that'll hecka bring me down. So..enjoy the story!

Oh! And you MUST be familiar with the story, and have at least read the first three volumes of Alice 19th to know what is going on, cuz that is where im continuing the story! I'm broke from buying soo much manga I could only get 1,2, and 3! TT. I can't even get the 2nd edition of fushigi yuugi seven now. Ugh..o well!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of Alice 19th…evidently.

Summary: One shot. As the story follows, Mayura returns from the mara, temporarily. And feelings finally come up to the surface.

Italics are, apparently thoughts of the one whose view we are seeing through, which is Alice for the people who cannot tell!

These, -- , are pauses and breaks.

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Monster (E.N: don't laugh at my title! I didn't know what else to call it!)

"I, I broke up with Mayura." What! No! He shouldn't! Mayura…she loves him so much. But why do I feel so happy.

"You know, Mayura loves you very much. Maybe if you stay with her a little longer, in turn, you will feel the same." My words echoed through my ears. I must not give in. I must fake my feelings.

"But how can I fall in love with another, when I'm already in love with someone else?" Kyo walked closer. No, stay away. As I began to back away, he stopped. There was a hurtful look in his eyes.

Distance was between us, but not much. He was still at arm's length. He can't walk any closer! If he does, I might lose. I might lose, control…I, I must keep up this charade. For my sister. I could feel my tears coming. Gosh! Why am I so weak!

"I, I love you, Alice." No! No, don't! Don't say it. My eyes widen at the words. Words I most wanted to hear, but they were the same words that I knew I shouldn't hear. This time, tears streamed down my cheeks.

"Why are you crying?" Kyo slowly lifted his hands. Slowly, up to my face. I slapped them away.

He just stood there. Looking at me, surprised.

"No. You shouldn't love me. You should love my sister. I've watched her wait for you, cry over you, laugh, and love you with all her heart. She still does now. She deserves to be-"

"No! All that I've known you, since the day we met, you always talked about your sister! You've cared for her so much. I know you love me, too. I can see it in your eyes. You're the one that deserves to be loved!"

I cracked a laugh. It was empty and cruel.

"Me? Deserve your love?" Kyo was breathing hard now. I wonder what he is thinking. No matter, I must tell him, my despicable truth. "Hah, hah. You really don't know me. I was the one who sent Mayura to the mara! Mayura, my own sister! I sent her out of jealousy and hatred. I am the reason why she became evil. I am the one who broke my family. It was my fault for ever being born that I caused trouble for everyone. The rumors at school started because I couldn't show my feelings. I stole you from Mayura! I was the one who made her evil! Hah…Now you see the real me! Do you now think I am worthy of being loved? Especially by you? -- I am just selfish. So selfish." My voice, my words. They were now mumbled with my gasps for air as I tried to talk and cry at the same time. I knew I looked hideous.

Brown hair was stuck to my wet cheeks. My nose was running, and I was crying uncontrollably.

I fell to the floor, covering my face.

Huh!

I heard footsteps coming toward me. It is Kyo! I bet he is now going to watch and laugh at me! Then he will go to my sister! – hmm. Good, good. I deserve this for everything I've done. I deserve to be rejected.

"I still love you." A gasp escaped my lips. I quickly looked up into Kyo's face.

So kind, gentle, and beautiful he was.

I looked back down remembering my ugly features. "How can you still love me? I deserve the worst for everything that I've caused! I'm a monster! Can't you see it?" My words could be hardly understood.

He bent down beside me. I felt his warm finger being placed on my chin. And slowly, with a careful force, he made me look at him. He stared deeply into my eyes, as if searching them. His brown eyes into my blue one. And mine into his.

"Hmm. What I see, is someone lost and confused. I don't see any monster."

I looked away, but he cupped my face in his hands. Then, he kissed me.

Passionate and sweet. Something I've never felt before. Something, I've always wanted to feel, from him.

When he finally let go, I felt my cheeks go red. I looked down, shameful, and yet happy at the same time. He then moved back in, slightly nipping my lower lip, while lifting me up. Steadying me.

"You are very beautiful. You are not a monster, and you don't deserve anything else, but my love and pure happiness."

I don't know what came over me, but I lunged at him, embracing him tightly.

"But-" I started, but was cut off by Kyo's strong voice.

"It's ok. I know you feel this is wrong, but you deserve it. Throughout your life you lived below your outstanding and confident sister. Watching, in her shadows as everyone around loved and admired her. You were alone. You couldn't compare with her. All the pressure, it must have consumed you. You've been through so much throughout the years, I can't even imagine your pain. -- But this is something that Mayura will not win."

I looked up into his face, with tears of joy in my eyes.

"I love you. And I only wish that you would love me in return." (E.N:Kyo said that.)

Kyo smiled then, and I smiled back.

"Yes, I love you Kyo!"

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Well, now im too lazy to say anything else. And I kept re-reading it over and over again, and I realized something..I SUCKED! I guess cuz it was 4 in the morning, and I got the idea, but I can never explain myself in words. (sigh) o well. I shall now consider and take your criticism. O and the rest of the story goes that Mayura hears them and runs back to the mara and she dies a damn stupid life!..naw j/p. but she goes back to the mara. I ono how the rest of the "real" story goes, so I'll leave it at this. Ok! Thank you for at least reading this sad example of a fic. Thank you..TT

Oh! And while ur here! Read my best friend's fics! She's good with fics, and writes really good poetry too! But won't post none! gR..so here she is..LadyAkina.