A/N : I realized I have a grand total of two (2) stories in my account, and I have decided to rectify that mistake by writing some useless drabble for you to read and roll your eyes over. Not literally. That would be gross. (Can you imagine? Pulling out your eyes and rolling them across the computer screen? EWWWW!) So without further apu…

Apu: ooh, I have been zinged!

The story…

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess named cinderellarumblesnowrosewhitefionajasmariella, but everyone just called her Cindy for short. I am sorry to say that her parents were on drugs when they named her. Or stupid. Possibly both. Anyway, one day Cindy was jumping from building to building with her animal friends when she spotted something shiny on the floor. Immediately entranced, she proceeded to the spot where she discovered a shiny brass lamp. She picked it up, and such was the nature of the story that she immediately began trying to clean it. Foolish girl, doesn't she know that you're not supposed to clean things that you find on the street, they could be dirty. Duh. Anyway, so she's cleaning and cleaning and suddenly out pops a house made of candy, a golden ball, and a small dwarf.

"Who are you?" Cindy said to the dwarf.

"My name is grumpy, but may I be frank-"

"Of course, frank," Cindy demurely interrupted, batting her eyelashes rather violently.

"No you…special person,"Grumpy replied, " I was going to say that the author is making a pathetic attempt at mixing all the fairy tales she knows and I for one will not be a part of it."

Cindy promptly throws the golden ball at his head, knocking him out. She can't kill him because, let's face it folks, this is a PG story. You'd be surprised what you can live through.

After digesting the candy house, Cindy walks along for seven years, until all her hair falls out. She then takes a part time job at the local sizzler, where she serves the local families all their seafood-ey needs. There she falls in love with Sven, the local fishmonger, but he dies in a tragic smelting accident. Alas, the terrible things that befall our poor Cindy. Heartbroken, Cindy turns goth and starts wearing dark red lipstick, a jealous stepmother walks by, and becomes, (surprise, surprise) jealous. The stepmother, whose name was evil stepmother, made Cindy wear rags and live with strange men all the while calling her rumplestiltskein. Why Cindy put up with this, no one will ever know, because evil stepmother did not have legal custody over Cindy. Michael Jackson did. Oh, the tangled webs we weave. Cindy finally realized this and left for a strange new world, called Shrek's swamp. There she joined in the dancing and the parties and the onions, and overall just had a blast. There she made friends with a talking crab who spoke with a heavy Jamaican accent, mon. He convinced her to collect knick-knacks and what-nots aplenty. And then throw them into the sea. Oh well.

Finally Cindy arrived home; where she married the artist formerly known as prince, recently known as duke, know known as king. So Cindy became the queen, and always remembered the adventures of her childhood until she got Alzheimer's and died.

The End

name that tune…er line!

Can you believe I just made that up off the top of my head! I can…because I was there.

I'm really sorry you had to read that. Oh well. REVIEW!