AN: This is my first Glee fanfiction. I'm not very pleased with this first chapter, it honestly was a bit difficult to write. But I hope you enjoy it anyways :). I'm not the best about updating but I will do my best with this story!
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee :(.
Superhero
And this is how it looks when I am standing on the edge
And this is how I break apart when I finally hit the ground
And this is how it hurts when I pretend I don't feel any pain
And this is how I disappear when I throw myself away.
-Breathe Into Me, Red
The first time it happened, Finn was the one to find him. Now that Kurt thought back on it, it was lucky that it was Finn. Finn was dimwitted enough to believe almost anything Kurt told him. So when Finn found him vomiting all over the bathroom floor with the almost empty pill bottle near him, Kurt had simply said that he accidentally took too much Benadryl and was getting rid of it by puking it up. Finn had been a bit reluctant about not telling Burt and Carole but once Kurt had reminded Finn that they were on their honeymoon and shouldn't be bothered, Finn didn't say anything. By the time they got back, the incident was completely forgotten about.
That time had actually been an accident. Kurt hadn't really been trying to kill himself, he just wanted to forget about things for a little while. And he had succeeded. The vomiting distracted him from the physical pain of the results of all the bullying. It kept his mind off of the bruises and the word Karofsky had carved into his back after catching him after Glee that day. "FAG." One of the many words that defined his existence at McKinley High School. And after having it carved into him, Karofsky decided to prove just how much of a fag Kurt was and proceeded to attack Kurt. So, in addition to Karofsky being his first kiss, he was now the first person for Kurt to have anything related to sexual relations with. After getting home and not feeling clean, even after a two hour burning hot shower, he decided that the pills were the only things to make him forget about the pain. And that was how he ended up vomiting his brains out in the bathroom.
The second time he tried (or the first time, seeing as the first incident wasn't on purpose), no one found him. He had used the sharpest knife he could find in the kitchen. As he watched the blood run from his wrists and drip onto the floor he could almost feel the dirty blood leaving his body. He felt more pure and free, like nothing in the world could bring him down right now. He held the power of life in his hands. He made sure to hit the main vein several times before he finally passed out due to the blood loss.
He awoke a few hours later, and was quite upset to see he did not succeed. God, he was such a failure that he couldn't even succeed in killing himself. And now he'd be left with the scars to remind him of his failure constantly. Just fucking perfect. He stood up and after washing away the evidence simply went into his room and cried. He took deep breathes before heading towards the bathroom again, intent on succeeding this time. Then, the door to the basement opened.
"Kurt? Honey, are you alright?" Carole, his step mom. Kurt hadn't even realized that his family was home.
"Yes Carole, I'm fine."
There was a pause. "Alright then. We're having dinner now, so wash your hands and come up."
And so Kurt did. He sat around the table and ate like a normal person. He acted like a normal person and nobody suspected anything.
The third time, Kurt had decided that he'd try it in the place he was tormented the most. He stayed after school one day and had picked the locker room as his spot. There's where most of the beatings had taken place, the taunts the ra-. No. Kurt wouldn't think about that right now. He had brought some pills with him and his knife, figuring that maybe if he tried the two of them together he could finally accomplish what he wanted to. He took about half the bottle of the pills (he hadn't even checked what type they were, he just grabbed them from the medicine cabinet. He was pretty sure they were sleeping pills though) and was about to drag the knife across his wrist when he heard the door opening and the sound of footsteps and talking.
"Look Sam, I want you to play quarterback this game. Finn's been a bit distracted lately so I think it's better to let him sit this one out." He could hear Coach Beastie saying. Kurt couldn't help but wonder what had Finn so distracted that he couldn't play in the next game.
He slowly gathered up his stuff but as soon as he stood up from the bench he had been sitting on he stumbled and fell, his body making a loud "CRACK!" as he hit the ground. There was no way he could hide now, the pills were starting to really affect him now and he felt his eyelids drooping.
"What the hell was that?" Coach exclaimed as soon as she heard the crash. Sam was puzzled. He had just seen all the guys leave for a pre-game celebration, nobody should be in the locker room now. As he looked down the rows of lockers he noticed Kurt laying there on the ground. "Kurt? KURT?" He shouted as he reached the small boys body. "Come on Kurt, don't fall asleep on us." He noticed that half-empty bottle of pills and the clean knife on the ground, pointing it out to his coach who had followed him around to find the noise.
"I'm calling 911 right now. Try to keep him awake." She pulled out her phone as she said this and proceeded to call them and relay the situation. Sam managed to keep Kurt awake until the ambulance arrived and he helped the Paramedics load his stuff in.
"Young man, would you like to ride with him to the hospital?" The head of the paramedics called to him as they tried to stable Kurt. Sam nodded and scrambled into the ambulance. He pulled Kurt's phone out of his bag and called Kurt's dad. The phone rang three times before Kurt's father picked up.
"Kurt? Son, where are you? You usually call me before you stay after school and-"
"Mr. Hummel, this isn't Kurt. It's his friend Sam. We're on our way to the hospital right now. St. Lima's."
"The HOSPITAL? What's going on? Is Kurt okay?"
Sam took a deep breath. "I found him in the locker room almost passed out with a half-empty bottle of pills and a knife. I think he tried to- he tried to-" Sam's voice cracked on the last part of the sentence "tried to kill himself."
He heard Mr. Hummel's intake of breath before Mr. Hummel hung up the phone after a quick "I'll be right there." And as they sped their way to the ER Sam took his on phone out and opened a new text message.
Blaine, I know we weren't close friends, but I think I know someone who needs your help right now. He's the only gay kid at our school, and I think he just attempted suicide. I'm in the ambulance on the way to St. Lima hospital. Once you get this text, do you think you could head out and meet me there?
The reply came a minute later.
New message from Blaine: I'm on my way right now, should be there in an hour.
Sam sent a thank you message and prayed that somehow, Blaine would be able to get through to Kurt and help him.
