Disclaimer: I own nothing
Summary: post-ND; Grissom visits Sara in her apartment again.
Warning/AN: OOC and fluff. Now edited and beta-ed thanks to Rhee!
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Thank you
It was the second time that he knocked on her door today. As much as she had tried to calm down after Grissom had left, she hadn't been able to stop crying.
She knew that it had hurt him to leave her alone, she knew - even though he had tried to hide it - that he wanted nothing more than staying here with her, than holding her in his arms. But all he had done was hold her hand, not that she had expected anything more, not from an emotionally unavailable man.
She had reached her door, finally wiped the tears away from her cheeks and took a deep breath. She opened the door and what she saw let her smile inwardly.
"Hey," she said softly.
"Hey. I…I thought I should maybe come here again and check if you're alright."
"Come in," she said softly, opened the door wider and let him in.
"So…how do you feel?"
"Not that good."
He threw a concerned look at her. She tried to force herself to smile, but failed.
She couldn't swallow the tears that were about to rise up in her eyes and soon she began to cry again.
Grissom stepped closer to her, she wanted him so badly to do something, she wanted him to put his arms around her, she wanted him to let her cry in his arms, she wanted him to kiss her tears away.
"Sssshhhhh," he whispered softly and stepped even closer to her.
She couldn't hear anything but her heart beating louder and louder, faster and faster.
He must have noticed how nervous she suddenly became, because there was this unfamiliar expression in his eyes. Sara had never seen him look that way at her, nor at anybody else. But she knew what he felt. All she wanted to do now was twine her arms around him and cry in his arms, leaning her face against his shoulders, feeling his hands holding her. She wished he would jump over his shadow, she wished he could show her what he felt, although she knew, but knowing it wasn't the same when it wasn't him who had told her, she knew it only because she knew him better than he thought she'd know him.
She took a deep breath. "Can I get you something?" Funny, she thought by herself, this was the second time she had asked him this during the last twenty-four hours.
He nodded softly. "A smile."
She shook her head softly. "Sorry, but I can't smile… not today… not… not after letting all these memories come back in my mind. I had managed to bear them down for years… and now… I... I just don't know how to deal with this right now."
And then, all of a sudden, Gil Grissom, the emotionally unavailable man she had chosen to be in love with, put his arms around her and pressed her softly against his chest. She had never felt the emotions that ran through her body, this warmth of his body, his breath on her skin, her head leaning against his shoulder, his hands holding her close to him, her arms holding him as if he was the blade of grass she clung to, to not fall down a cliff.
"I'm so glad you are here. I know I couldn't make it through the next hours alone," she whispered crying.
"I'm here. Don't worry," he whispered, holding her close to him.
They stood in the middle of her apartment for a while, both forgetting about time, only caring for the fact that their arms were twined around each other, that they had never been so close to each other before.
Then Sara felt Grissom's hand slipping down her back, caressing her softly. She tried to remember the last time when a man had held her in his arms, a man that had really been caring about her and she realized that this had never happened.
"Did you get some sleep or rest?"
"No…I knew I'd dream of…of this thing… I… I was too afraid to sleep."
"But you have to sleep."
"I'm sure that I can't Griss," she broke into another splash of tears.
"Don't worry. I'll be here. Sara, don't worry." His voice was calm and soft and so comforting.
She twined her arms round his neck closer, feeling like she'd not be able to hold herself on her feet anymore. Grissom picked her up and glanced around the room.
Sara knew he was searching for her bedroom.
"There," she pointed at the closed door on the left.
He nodded softly, then carried her there, opened the door, walked over to her bed and sat her down on it.
"You really have to get some sleep, Honey," he whispered when she refused to let her arms go off his neck.
"Don't leave me alone," she sounded and felt desperate. Grissom must have realized that she wouldn't be able to calm down here alone. He nodded and caressed her cheek with his right hand. His thumb grazed her lower lip. And she whished he'd kiss her, she prayed he'd kiss her.
"I'll stay here with you, Honey. Don't be afraid," he said softly.
He covered her with her blanket and then sat down on the edge of her bed. She scooted to the other side of the bed, desperately wishing he would understand that she wanted him to lay down next to her. And he did. He lay down next to her, not slipping under the blanket, but putting his arm around her, holing her close to him.
She snuggled against his chest, feeling safe for the first time in her whole life.
She closed her eyes, hoping that he'd still be there when she'd open them again.
It must have been long after noon when she woke up. Feeling incredible relieved when she realized that he was still next to her, his arm still twined around her. A few seconds later he opened his eyes, smiling softly at her.
"Hey," he whispered softly.
"Hey."
They lay face to face and Sara wished she could kiss him, she wished she could show him how thankful she was.
He softly brushed a strand of her out of her face, afterwards his hand rested on her cheek, caressing it with his thumb. She reached up, laying her small, soft hand on his, caressing it with her thumb.
"Thank you. Thank you so much," she whispered, then she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and hoped this moment would last forever.
But it didn't. When she had wished it wouldn't stop she hadn't imagined that something even better could happen, but when his lips met hers she knew that this was all she had ever dreamed of. She returned his kiss, overwhelmed by the feelings inside of her.
When their lips loosened from each other she couldn't help but smiled at him brightly, it was her 'only for Grissom' smile.
"I will always be there for you Sara," he whispered softly. "You can always count on me. I will never ever hurt you again. I promise."
Why does he think he ever hurt me before, she thought almost a little bit shocked. Sure he had hurt her before, but when had he realized this? Maybe she didn't know him as good as she had thought she would, but in this moment she decided to no care about this now, because his lips met hers again, pleading for another soft, sweet kiss.
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THE END
