** How I Fell in Love With Rory Gilmore **

Genre: Drama/Romance
Pairings: Jess/Rory
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: Jess, Rory, Lorelai and Luke and all other recognizable "Gilmore Girls" characters belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and the WB. There is no profit from the copyrighted characters or infringement intended.


My mom had just threatened to have me locked up in juvenile detention for the thousandth time and my Uncle Luke finally took pity on her and offered to take me off her hands. She shoved a bus ticket in my hand and said she hoped this would work and that if I had any crazy ideas like using the ticket to go somewhere else, she really didn't care. Believe me, I was tempted to do just that, but by the time the bus had crossed the Connecticut state line, I remembered I only had ten dollars and 27 cents in my pocket and I was getting awfully hungry. I figured I might as well go by Luke's, get something to eat and then weigh my options.

When the bus pulled into Stars Hollow, my jaw dropped. I had just landed in a Mayberry episode of the Twilight Zone. Before I'd go to Luke's, I figured I'd better case this place out.

I pulled out a cigarette and stepped off the bus. Before I could light it, a tub of lard, wearing a beard, who I later learned was Taylor, proceeded to tell me it was illegal to smoke out doors in Stars Hollow. I told him to f*** off and went on my way.

I strolled past a row of houses and then I saw him. Mr. Aw Shucks Happy Guy. People that happy generally want to make me want to puke. I always say if you want to take a ride on planet Earth, you gotta have a scar to pay for your ticket. As far as I could see, this guy had never had an unhappy moment in his life. I stood and watched him for a few seconds; his life was a complete package. He had a mother, father and a little sister that looked like the spitting image of Cindy Brady and they all lived together in a fairy tale house, complete with a picket fence. I thought I was gonna hurl. Next, a beautiful girl, who should have been a candidate for the goody-two-shoes of the year award, joined them. I took a mental note of all of this. Ordinarily, when someone annoyed me this much, I would just get it out of my system and punch their lights out. However, this guy was pretty tall, so I needed a Plan B. I took a second look at his girlfriend, mmm … that might be the ticket. She looked so pure and innocent … probably never had a moment of real excitement in her life. I could get to him and do her a favor at the same time.

I walked on for a while longer before I went to Luke's and reflected on my own life. I certainly had earned my scar to ride on this planet. I'd grown up in an area of Brooklyn that made Fort Apache in the Bronx look tame in comparison. Unlike Mr. Aw Shucks Happy Guy, the only thing I had in my package was the street cred I'd had since I was five years old, when my old man walked out on us. Not that I blame him for leaving my mother, air head that she is. If there is one thing that I cannot abide is a stupid woman. Everytime I meet one, I use them and abuse them. There is no way I'm gonna make the same mistake as my old man and marry a stupid woman.

I lit another cigarette and strolled back towards Luke's diner. Inside, he was entertaining a gorgeous woman with dark hair and striking blue eyes, who was shamelessly flirting with him. I took one look at her and realized she annoyed me just as much as Mr. Aw Shucks Happy Guy. She tried to be friendly and introduce herself to me, obviously to score points with Luke. I didn't acknowledge her; I just turned and walked away.

Later, that day, Luke informed me that this annoying woman had invited us to dinner. The last thing I wanted to do was to be in her presence, pretending that I cared she existed. Luke usually isn't successful in getting me to do anything that I don't want to do, but somehow that night he'd succeeded in twisting my arm.

When I came into her house, I brought my full on obnoxious personality with me, just to make sure that I wasn't invited back. While Lorelai and her friends were hanging out with Luke in the kitchen, I wandered around the house, trying to see if there was anything of value I could nab and I was shocked to see Mr. Aw Shucks Happy Guy's girlfriend sitting in her bedroom, working on the computer. Major score! I had an inside track on stealing Mr. Aw Shucks Happy Guy's girlfriend right out from him under his nose.

I walked into her room and started talking to her. She was very polite, which was to be expected since she was a born goody-goody – those types usually are. I glanced around her bedroom, taking note of her literary collection and absorbed very quickly that this one very bright young woman. Little, by little, I began to feel a connection with this girl that went beyond wanting to take her away from her boyfriend for the sheer reason of making him miserable. She was a breath of fresh air compared to any of the other girls I'd ever met before and I could tell she was in need of being with a guy like me, who could bring a dose of excitement to her life and take her to a level of worldly sophistication that she would never know if she stayed tied down to her Mr. Aw Shucks Happy Guy bumpkin boyfriend.

Her mother hated my guts, but growing up in a house with only a mother, I knew that wouldn't be a problem. If there's no father or brothers around, real discipline doesn't exist. So little by little, I worked on Rory and eventually she was mine. Finally the universe made sense. Dean no longer had a complete package and mine was wrapped up with a pretty bow called Rory.

As for all the trouble I got into over the years, I don't regret a second of it because all that trouble led me to the place I am now, in love with the most awesome girl in the world, Rory Gilmore.