So this came about when me and my friend ( .com) were discussing our worst nightmares in terms of fanfics (I had just read a really good fic that ended with a character death and I hated it) when I decided to write a plan for her worst nightmare. This was the result, each chapter will be between 300 and 600 words of pure crack. If you don't like it, then don't read it. Simples.
Ellie's nightmare
It was a beautiful day on Earth and lots of people were outside soaking up the best of the sun. Included in this concrete collective noun were the agents of Stark or something like that (I don't really know). Naturally this group of agents also included Loki because after all he had just helped to save the world and redeemed himself not to mention Tony liked him so much that he would never leave him out (But shush because no one knows this, apart from Tasha but she's a women so that's expected). At this point in time that I am referring to this international superspy was oh so subtly checking out Clint's ass (although everyone could see this as this ship was being brought out of subtext and into text). As it was such a beautiful day the group were eating a load of ice creams. Naturally Tony was making a mess with his (just because it fits alright) and acting a lot like a child, quoting films here there and everywhere. Loki took one look at his face and switched into his maternal counterpart in order to take care of Tony in the correct fashion (mind out of the gutter!) and wiped his face before getting him to behave in the way only a mother can. Unfortunately (or fortunately if you ship them) Tony had other ideas and attempted to barrel his way past Loki but was unsuccessful due to the sneakiness of Tasha who was trying to play matchmaker and had stuck out her foot resulting in both Tony and Loki tumbling to the ground, limbs entangled. Clint was particularly impressed with this move and took to staring at Tasha which resulted in everybody but Tony and Loki leaving (how convenient) because the UST barometer was measuring off the scale and let's face it, no one wanted to be called a cockblocker.
Once Tasha and Clint finally decided to break their Eye Sex they noticed that everyone had left and decided to follow suit strolling off together, not quite holding hands but close enough that they brushed together with every step. This left Tony and Loki alone on the floor not moving and staring at each other when Tony felt something vibrate. This made both characters jump in surprise and Loki hurry to climb off of Tony in the least awkward way possible. Realising it was his phone that was vibrating Tony pulled it out of his pocket while attempting to avoid all eye contact with Loki as this would make him blush very red. Reading his text he was unable to control the blush as it was from Tasha containing only three words; JUST DO IT. Seeking another oh so subtle glance at Loki (which really wasn't that subtle) Tony decided to follow that advice and launched himself at Loki again which resulted in another tumble to the ground, the difference this time being that they were joined at the lips as well as every other body part. Not caring where they were (as every single person had conveniently disappeared) Loki took note of what was happening and kissed back, pouring his soul into Tony and double checking his mouth pretty thoroughly while doing so. Then, all of a sudden and other melodramatic words Loki pulled Tony up and they skipped hand in hand to the tower to continue with their shenanigans.
