"And In The End"
Midget: Hi. This is a birthday fic for The Annoying Girl. Happy Birthday!! I hope it's a great one!
Pairing: She requested a Yamashiro, so here you go.
Warnings: Yaoi(of course), angst, and death
Setting: A retirement home room.
Summary: It's been a long time since the digi world. A lot of things have happened, not the least of which is the relationship between Matt and Izzy. They've lived a long life together and now it's time for them to leave the mortal world. But first they take a moment to think back to how it all began.
Notes: *...* means that's what someone is thinking
**...** means they're both thinking the same thing
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or any of it's characters. Please don't sue me because it would be a waste of effort since I basically have nothing.
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Izzy carefully settled himself on the edge of the bed. He smiled slightly into the somewhat dull eyes of his long-time love and spoke softly as he greeted him. "Hi, Matt. I know it's been a while since we were last together. We've been apart for what seems like forever, but soon we'll never have to be apart again. Isn't that great?"
Matt smiled happily in answer. They looked deeply into each others eyes, communicating silently like they had done so many times before. Then a noise caused Izzy to look up. A nurse came in and checked the machines. She smiled sympathetically at Izzy and left.
Shaking his head, Izzy gave Matt a rueful smile. "They all do that, act sympathetic, but none of them understand," he informed wryly.
A twinkle appeared in Matt's eyes. He winked conspiratorially. *No one ever did.* Izzy chuckled softly and nodded, then struggled with a coughing fit. It lasted for a few minutes and left him wheezing slightly.
"Yeah, I know it's no surprise. Even most of our friends still do and after all this time," he said despairingly. They both chuckled at the memory. This time they both were thrown into a coughing fit. Their hands met and they held on to each other as they fought to regain what little breath they had left.
"I miss you," Izzy admitted suddenly, his tone serious. *You don't know how much it hurts not to be near you.* "I miss you so much that it hurts. I miss having you to talk to everyday. I miss having you to cuddle with and wrap my arms around each night. I miss being woken up with a kiss and usually arriving late at the office to see indulgent smiles when it didn't stop there."
Devilish glee lit Matt's eyes, tempered by a longing for those days to return. *Those were the days. I've missed him so much.* His eyes showed the same pain of separation that Izzy felt, automatically helping to ease the load.
"I miss everything about our life together," Izzy told him sadly. "I can't wait until we can be together again. This time it will be forever."
The joy and conviction in Matt's eyes found an answering depth in Izzy's. Perfectly attuned to each other, words were not necessary for them to know each other's thoughts and feelings. So they sat in silence for a moment, just basking in the other's presence. **Finally. This is paradise.**
Finally Izzy broke the silence. A wistful grin crossed his face as he asked whimsically, "Do you remember how we got together?" He smiled widely when Matt rolled his eyes and grimaced. "I thought so."
************Flashback************
"Go, Tai!" Matt shouted excitedly. "Kick that ball in before the buzzer goes off!"
"You can do it, Tai!" Izzy added loudly. "Just a little further...."
"Yay," Kari cheered as her older brother scored.
Just then the buzzer went off. The score changed to 22 to 3. Tai's team had won by a considerable amount.
"All right," Joe said happily. "He did it."
"Just like we knew he could," TK announced happily. His adoring eyes followed the older boy as he ran back to his team.
Tai paused to look up at them. He gave the group his biggest grin and flashed them a victory sign. They all laughed and shouted their congratulations. Than Sora grabbed him in a hug. When she released him his team mates took turns slapping him on the back.
"It looks like he's going to be busy for quite while," Matt commented wryly. "I hope he doesn't take too long getting to the restaurant."
"I wish I could go," Izzy told him softly. "Unfortunately I must hurry home. We're having a guest over tonight."
"I'll walk you back," Matt offered quickly.
"Are you sure?" Izzy asked hesitantly. *I'd really like to have you walk with me. We never seem to spend enough time together.* "I wouldn't want you to be late to the party because of me."
"It won't be a problem," Matt assured him easily, hiding his nervousness. *Please don't make this any more nerve wracking.* "Right guys?"
Joe nodded mildly. "We can spare him for a little while. Besides, we'll tell Tai if he asks, so it won't bother him," Joe informed him confidently. *I hope.*
"If he gets there before Matt," Kari reminded them cheerfully. She smiled with amusement as she gestured to the large group still celebrating on the sidelines. "He doesn't seem to be in any hurry to leave his team."
TK nodded absently, scanning the crowd. *She's supposed to be here somewhere...Ah-ha!* "Hey, there's Mimi!" he exclaimed excitedly, tugging on Joe's arm to direct his attention to the pink clad girl.
*Thank goodness! She should be able to occupy Tai so we won't have to worry about that.* "Lets go talk to her," Joe suggested happily, guiding Kari and TK away. "Maybe she'll be able to go to the party for a little while after all."
"Well, I guess that's settled," Izzy said dryly. *Not that I mind! No, not at all!*
*Thankfully.* Matt grinned ruefully at him. "Shall we go then?" he inquired, gesturing for Izzy to proceed him.
Laughing softly, Izzy obediently led the way. They were silent as they weaved their way out of the semi-crowded park to the almost deserted streets. Neither felt the need to talk at first, but Matt's curiosity soon won out.
"So, what have you been up to?" he asked curiously.
"Oh, not much," Izzy replied with a shrug. "I've just been... uh, nevermind." He looked away nervously. *I'm not sure if I should tell him.*
"Come on, you can tell me," Matt encouraged persuasively. ""Don't worry about me laughing at you because I won't. I promise."
"Well, I've been gathering information," Izzy explained him evasively. *This is too personal for me to share right now. Please understand Matt.*
Matt gently grabbed his arm and both came to a stop. "If you don't want to tell me anything you don't have to, you know," he told him gently. "Just know that I'm willing to listen anytime you do. It doesn't matter what you want to talk about because I'll listen to anything you have to say." *I mean it.*
"Thanks Matt," Izzy said sincerely, smiling gratefully. "I appreciate it." *A lot.*
"Anytime," Matt replied lightly. He glanced down to see his hand still gripping Izzy's arm. *Now I don't even want to let him go when I touch him! I've got it bad.* Blushing slightly, he released him and started walking again.
*What was that all about?* Shrugging, Izzy hurried to catch up. After a moment he asked, "What about you? What have you been doing?"
"Oh, I've been working on my music," Matt answered casually, automatically adjusting his pace to match Izzy's. "I've been practicing my playing and I've even written a few songs." *Depressing songs about impossible love that mirror my life.* "I've even started talking to some of my friends about forming a band."
"It's good to have goals at our age," Izzy announced wisely. "I've been working on courses I found on the Internet about how to become a computer software engineer."
"Cool," Matt said, impressed. *That's just like you. Don't worry, I know you'll be great at whatever you do.* "Then you can make all kinds of programs, right? Maybe you can even find a new way to the digi world."
Izzy laughed softly, shaking his head and causing Matt to smile slightly. "What?" Matt asked, bemused.
"That's one of the reasons I decided to become a computer software engineer," Izzy admitted, still chuckling.
Matt blinked at him in surprise, then joined in his laughter. They had stopped outside of Izzy's building, so they leaned against the wall to catch their breath.
*He's perfect.* Matt sighed quietly, sobering as he watched Izzy. *Well, I promised Tai that I would do this so I'd better get it over with.* "Izzy, there's something I need to tell you," he announced nervously. "It's something you might end up hating me for."
It was Izzy's turn to look surprised. *What could possibly make him think that I would hate him?* "Matt, I won't hate you no matter what it is," he assured him confidently. "I promise."
"Don't say that until you know what I have to say," Matt advised, a touch of bitterness in his tone. *Trust me, it's easier if you don't have to take that back.*
"Go ahead and tell me," Izzy urged impatiently. *This suspense will drive me crazy.*
Matt took a deep breath. "Okay, it's like this. I'm gay," he explained in a rush.
"O-kay," Izzy said slowly. *Wow. I wasn't really expecting that. The guy who is literally chased by girls is gay? How ironic! Surprisingly enough I'm not bothered by it.* He met Matt's eyes and smiled reassuringly. "Matt, you're still my friend. I don't hate you because you're gay."
*Well, at least there's a chance that he'll take this better than I thought.* "Well, that's not all of it," Matt confessed morosely, avoiding his eyes. "You see I've realized that I'm not even remotely bi because the thought of dating a girl makes me queasy and ... I'm in love with a guy."
Izzy nodded, trying to hide the strange feeling that was making his stomach queasy. *I have a feeling I know what's coming next and I'm not sure what to think of it.* "Who is the guy?" he asked hoarsely.
*Can I really do this? Can I risk our fragile friendship? I have to.* "You," he whispered so softly Izzy barely heard him. He forced himself to say it completely so that there could be no doubt later. "I'm in love with you, Izzy."
Closing his eyes, Izzy struggled desperately to process those words. *It's okay Izzy. This isn't anything you can't handle rationally. One of your best male friends is in love with you. Nothing to freak out about. You'll be fine.* Then something occurred to him. "How long have you known?"
Matt kept his back turned to Izzy, afraid of what he might see in the other boy's eyes. "I've known about myself since our time in the digi world," he answered very quietly. "I had a crush on someone else then. I didn't learn what real love was until a few months after when we spent those three weeks working each day after school on that science project."
"That was close to a year ago," Izzy said absently. He remembered that time. Ever since they'd spent a lot of time together after school. *Funny, it did seem a little strange but I never really thought anything about it. I mean, we were pretty good friends and all but we didn't hang out that much. It just seemed right, though, so I never questioned it."
"Yeah, I know," Matt agreed quietly. *There it goes. My only chance to have even a small part of him is one now. I knew I shouldn't have agreed to this.* "I didn't tell you before because I didn't want you to know. I didn't want you to ever know. That way I could at least be your friend."
Izzy felt a pang in his heart at those last words. He forced himself to focus on the fact that Matt had told him. "Why did you tell me, then?" he inquired hoarsely.
"I promised someone important to me that I would," Matt informed him in a flat voice. *Don't worry, I all ready regret it.* "I also promised that person that I'd ask you if you'd go out with me."
That caused Izzy to freeze in place. He began to feel lightheaded and he placed a hand on the wall to steady himself again. His legs were too weak to support him and he started to fall. Gentle arms caught him and pulled him back against a warm pillar of strength.
"Are you all right?" Matt demanded anxiously. *What have I done? I'm so sorry Izzy! I didn't mean for this to happen!*
Groggily Izzy opened his eyes to peer into frantically worried eyes set in a white face only inches from his own. He had a sudden urge to kiss him, just to see how he'd react. Nearly giggling hysterically, he suddenly sobered as something deep in Matt's eyes caught his attention. Beyond the worry and guilt was a depth of caring he'd never seen directed at him before. *He really does love me.* Feeling drained, he wearily leaned his head against Matt's shoulder and closed his eyes again.
*I need to get him to his house. Maybe he'll feel better after he lays down for a while.* Matt bent slightly and picked Izzy up as he explained, "Don't worry, Izzy. I'm going to take you home now."
While Matt carried him the few feet over to his door Izzy kept his eyes closed. He thought about their conversation. Only a few minutes ago he'd been enjoying a talk with one his closest friends. Now he felt lost, unable to clearly define who the person carrying him was any more. At least, who he was in respect to himself. *Is he still just a friend? What do you call someone who is in love with you?*
Matt pushed the doorbell, then waited impatiently for Mrs. Izumi to answer. It seemed to take forever before he heard footsteps, and yet only a second at the same time. He felt incredibly guilty for unintentionally enjoying the feel of his love in his arms. *It will probably be the only time I ever will, though. After this he won't even want to talk to me anymore.*
The door opened, breaking into their thoughts. Mrs. Izumi gasped as reached out to touch Izzy. "What happened?" she asked fretfully.
"I'm not really sure, ma'am," Matt answered honestly. "We were only a few feet away, talking, when he suddenly swayed on his feet."
"I'm all right, just very tired," Izzy whispered, blinking ruefully up at his mother. *I don't know if I can walk on my own right now, so I think I'll stay where I am.* He smiled apologetically. "I didn't mean to scare you."
Mrs. Izumi smiled in relief. "It's okay. Haven't I told you staying up late playing those games on the computer was going to catch up to you sooner or later," she asked exasperatedly. She smiled at Matt. "He looks so tired. Would you mind carrying him into his room?"
"No ma'am," Matt answered swiftly. *You have no idea how much I don't mind.*
"You know which one it is so go ahead," Mrs. Izumi told him, gesturing to the door as she moved out of the way. "Why don't you help him get settled while you're at it? I've got to get his dinner."
"It would be my pleasure," Matt replied without thinking, heading toward the correct bedroom. *Help him get settled?!?! I'm hoping she only meant set him down on the bed. And I said it would be my pleasure! Oh boy.* He mentally kicked himself as he struggled to contain the redness warming his cheeks.
Izzy snuck a peak at Matt's face. He nearly burst out laughing when he saw the expression of half-panic and half-shock resting there. *I wonder what he's thinking. Did he catch what he said? And does the blush on his face have anything to do with that?* A faint blush stole across Izzy's face as he remembered what that had been and he quickly diverted his thoughts from that particular area.
Matt nudged the door open, then carried Izzy to his bed. He gently set the smaller boy down in the center of the bed sitting up, then carefully arranged the pillows behind him. While he did so Izzy remained leaning against him. *Poor guy. He had a really bad shock today and it's all my fault. Hopefully he'll let me make it up to him.*
*Why don't I pull away from him? I'm not supposed to want to be around gay people. I've never had a problem with it personally, but I've been taught that it isn't normal and should be avoided. Many people find it disgusting. But the look in his eyes and the tender way he treats me isn't disgusting. Does the fact that I'm not repulsed mean that I am like him?* Izzy sighed as he let Matt lay him back against the pillows.
"Izzy, I'm sorry," Matt said quietly, looking down at his hands as he sat back. "I shouldn't have told you. It only upset you. I know you probably don't want to be anywhere near me and I can't blame you. That was a lot to spring on you like that. Just please give me a chance to make it up to you, okay?"
Izzy opened his eyes and tried to speak, but Matt put a finger on his lips to silence him. "Think about it for a few days, will you?" he asked in a whisper. "That's all I'm asking. I'm going to go now. Call me when you decide." Then he got up and hurried out the door.
"Oh, Matt, are you leaving all ready?" Mrs. Izumi asked in surprise as he quickly passed her. "I thought you might want to stay for a little while."
"I'd like to, but I've really got to go," Matt explained regretfully. *Trust me, it's better this way anyways.* "Tai's team won so we're supposed to be having a victory celebration at the pizza joint. I'm supposed to be there all ready but I wanted to walk Izzy home first. I really do need to get going, though."
"Well, that was sweet of you," Mrs. Izumi told him in a pleased tone. *I'm glad Izzy has such good friends.* "Tell Tai I'm happy for him."
"I will," Matt replied as cheerfully as he could. "Have a good evening."
"You, too," Mrs. Izumi said happily. *He's such a nice boy.* She walked into Izzy's room to see him frowning thoughtfully. "Now don't even think you're going to convince me to let you out of this room tonight. You're going to stay right here and get some rest. And no playing on the computer."
"Yes, ma'am," Izzy answered obediently, realizing that she had no idea what he'd really been thinking about. *And it's a good thing, too. I'm not sure how she'd react to it.*
"Well, I need to get ready now," Mrs. Izumi announced wryly. She settled the tray on his lap. His dinner consisted of a plate of sushi, potatoes, and rice along with a glass of water. "I'll be in to check on you before I go to bed and you'd better be asleep young man."
"I'll get some sleep," Izzy promised, smiling slightly.
He sighed when she closed the door, leaving him alone with his thoughts. Izzy set his tray on the desk beside his bed so that he could change. An oversize T-shirt that read 'I love computers!' and a pair of khaki shorts made up his relaxing outfit as he called it. Once he was changed he settled himself comfortably and turned his attention to eating.
Izzy pushed his food around his plate absently as his mind wandered back to earlier. *Why can't I stop thinking about it? Why does the look in his eyes haunt me?* He sighed, forcing himself to eat a bit of potatoes.
The phone rang, startling him so badly that he spilled some of his water and sent his fork flying to the end of the bed. Scowling irritably, Izzy snatched the receiver from the hook.
"Izumi residence, Izzy speaking," he mumbled, trying to clean up the water on his tray before it spilled into his lap.
"Hey, Izzy! It's me, Tai," the voice at the other end announced cheerfully. "I'm sorry you couldn't make it to the party, but at least you were at the game. By the way, what did you think of it?"
"It was interesting," Izzy replied hesitantly. He'd all ready forgotten all about it, but he didn't want Tai to know that.
"Is that all?" Tai asked in a disappointed tone.
"Well, what else do you want me to say," Izzy inquired dryly, moving to set his tray on his desk. He gasped when he saw the time.
"What's a matter?" Tai demanded immediately. "Izzy?"
*It's all ready been that long? Time really flies when you're thinking.* Tai's words snapped him back to reality. "Huh? Oh, nothing," Izzy answered softly. "I just realized that it's all ready eight thirty. I've been sitting here for over an hour trying to eat my dinner and I've only finished about a third of it."
"Are you feeling sick or something?" he asked in concern.
"Nah, I'm fine," Izzy told him calmly. "Like I said, I was thinking about something."
"What were you thinking about," Tai inquired curiously. When Izzy remained silent he added, "Come on, you can tell me. I promise I won't tell anyone."
"Well, it's about Matt," Izzy said reluctantly. *Should I tell him?*
"And...," Tai encouraged persuasively.
"He told me today that .... that he is gay," Izzy answered haltingly. *Well, he'd have to find that out eventually anyways.*
"Is that it?" Tai asked, a thread of disappointment in his voice. "I all ready knew that!"
"You do? Since when," Izzy demanded, feeling left out.
"I've known since the digi world when we were traveling together to find the rest of you," Tai explained ruefully. "I kept hounding him about whether or not he liked Sora or Mimi and he finally told me he preferred the guys to girls. It was the only way he could get me to leave him alone."
"Oh," Izzy said dumbly. He shook his head in an effort to clear his thoughts.
"So, what do you think?" Tai inquired casually.
"I'm not sure," Izzy admitted heavily. "I don't have any problems with him being gay, I know that much. He is my friend, after all, and that doesn't really have any bearing as far as I'm concerned."
"Then what's the problem?" Tai asked in exasperation.
*Should I tell him? Tai is one of our best friends. I need to talk to someone, but should it be him?* "Do you solemnly swear never to tell anyone?" Izzy demanded anxiously.
"I all ready promised I wouldn't," Tai reminded him impatiently. "So tell me all ready!"
*I hope I'm not making the wrong decision.* "Matt told me today that he ... that he loves me," Izzy explained very softly. "He also kind of asked me to go out with him."
For a moment Tai was silent as he pondered that. *I didn't think he'd actually be able to do it. No wonder he was so preoccupied earlier. But what if Izzy doesn't feel the same?* Then he inquired quietly, "What do you think about it?"
"I don't know," Izzy snapped in agitation. He sighed and rested back against the headboard of his bed. "Sorry, Tai. I didn't mean to bite your head off. It's just ... oh, I don't know. This is all so confusing."
"Well, lets try to clear it up," Tai suggested sensibly. "Tell me how you feel about Matt. Has it changed from what you felt before?"
"Yes! No. Oh, I don't know!" Izzy said in an agonized tone. "That's the problem. I cared about him a lot. We've been getting really close lately, you know. And I know that I love him, but is it that kind of love? I've never really thought about a relationship before. The only ones I've ever had are with my family and with you guys. How am I supposed to define them? And I've always been told that being gay was wrong and that they are disgusting. But Matt isn't disgusting. The way he looks at me, the way he treats me, none of that is disgusting."
"Well, stop worrying about what other people say," Tai told him sternly. "People aren't always right, no matter what they might think. How can any person claim to know what right and wrong is when it comes to love anyways? And about not knowing what it is you feel for him. Well, you're just going to have to do the same thing every other couple has to do. Try it and see. If it goes no where then at least you gave it a shot."
"It's not as easy as that," Izzy retorted with a sigh. "These are our emotions we're talking about, not some new hair product. There could be serious consequences if it turns out to be a mistake."
"And there could be serious consequences if not trying it turns out to be a mistake," Tai pointed out reasonably. "It's not a whole lot different than dating a girl except you probably won't have to deal with someone so extremely emotional. At least Matt doesn't change moods that fast."
"Talking from experience, huh?" Izzy inquired dryly. "Sora or Mimi?"
"Sora, but don't tell her I told you so," Tai replied wryly. "Tonight was the first time she's hugged me in a long while. Usually she doesn't get within two feet of me. If you say something she'll start avoiding me like the plague again."
"And that is a bad thing?" Izzy asked curiously.
"Of course, she's one of my best friends," Tai answered sagely. "And in case you're wondering part of the reason she wouldn't speak to me was Mimi."
"Well, you are going out with Mimi after all," Izzy pointed out mildly. "Ex-girlfriends have been known to have a problem with their exs dating their friends."
"Another good reason to avoid females," Tai shot back. "You have no idea what it's like and it's better that you don't! Trust me on this one."
Izzy rolled his eyes and shook his head. "How did we get on this topic anyways? Weren't we talking about Matt and me?" he asked dryly.
"Yes, we were. Look, all I'm saying is that you should give it a chance," Tai said sensibly. "You won't know unless you try. Besides, it won't be much different than it is right now except you'll start hanging out together more. If it goes beyond that then you'll know it can work. Remember, though, it's not going to be easy. It never is. But it may turn out to be worth it."
"Do you really think so?" Izzy asked hopefully. *I want to try, but what if I mess up? Is it really worth the risk?*
"I sure do," Tai answered confidently. "I've seen what love can do in the form of my parents. You've seen it with yours. Doesn't what they have look wonderful?"
"You're right," Izzy said thoughtfully. He remembered the time with the Bakemon. His parents had turned to each other. All these years they'd had some rough times but mostly they were just happy to be together. A smile crossed his ace. "Love is worth it."
"So you'll try it?" Tai inquired eagerly.
"Yes," Izzy answered calmly. "Why?"
"I was just wondering," Tai replied casually. "Well, I'd better let you call Matt. Goodnight, Izzy!"
Izzy blinked as the dial tone suddenly came on. *Now that was weird.* Shaking his head, he dialed Matt's number. *I hope I'm doing the right thing.*
"Ishida residence, Matt speaking," a depressed voice answered.
Excitement shot through his veins, causing Izzy to loose his train of thought. Off balance, all he could manage was, "H-hi Matt. It's Izzy."
"Izzy! Are feeling all right? Look, I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to make you feel sick. If I'd known you'd react like that I would never have...," Matt explained in a rush, his words tumbling over each other.
"It's okay," Izzy broke in soothingly. *Man, he's really worked up about this. Poor guy.* "I was just feeling a little overwhelmed, that's all. I'm fine now, really."
"Are you sure? You looked so pale ....," he said anxiously.
"Yes, I'm sure," Izzy replied wryly. "I called because I, uh, wanted to talk to you about your question."
"My question," Matt repeated, puzzled.
"The questions you kind of asked after you told me ... what you told me," Izzy explained sheepishly. *I think it's going to take a little while to get used to.*
"Oh, that question," Matt said softly. *Uh-oh. Now I'm going to hear it!* He cringed slightly as he asked, "What about ... the question?"
"Well, did you really mean it?" Izzy inquired hesitantly. "Or was it just a dare or something?"
"No, I definitely meant it," Matt answered so quietly that Izzy barely heard him. "I meant everything I said."
Izzy smiled gently as he let the warmth those words created spread throughout his body, warming places he hadn't known were cold. *Is this what love does?* He said the only thing he could. "I'm glad."
*Huh?* "Does this mean that you ... uh, want to ... uh, you know," Matt stammered hesitantly. *Great, now I sound like a first-class idiot!*
"Want to go out with you," Izzy suggested gently. He had to fight a giggle. *This has got to be the first time I've ever heard him this hesitant before.*
"Yeah," Matt replied sheepishly, his face flushing.
Izzy sobered quickly. "Matt, I have to be honest with you. I know that I love you, but I don't know whether or not it's that kind of love. Tai helped me see that I'll probably never know unless I give it a try. So I want us to give it a try, but we have to go slowly," he explained softly. *Please understand.*
"What ever you want," Matt told him sincerely. "I'm just glad you're giving me a chance at all."
"Well, we'll see how it goes," Izzy stated serenely.
***********End Flashback************
"Who would've thought that Tai could play match-maker," Izzy wondered aloud. Matt made a face and shook his head, causing Izzy to chuckle lightly. Then started coughing. It took him several minutes to recover.
Izzy gave Matt a tired smile. "It's been what, eighty years since that day?" he mused thoughtfully.
Matt nodded, his expression turning wry. *And look at us now!*
"Yeah, look at us now," Izzy said proudly. "You've lost the ability to speak, both of us are just about blind, neither of us can hear very well, we're both so weak that it's about useless to wake up since that expends most of our energy, and my memory is basically a thing of the past." He grinned when Matt rolled his eyes again. "And through it all we're still together."
The look in Matt's eyes made Izzy catch his breath, just like a million times before. Love and devotion shone at him, as stronger and truer than it had ever been. He lifted up his arms, silently inviting Izzy closer.
Izzy leaned down and settled himself comfortably in Matt's arms. "You do realize that our time has come, right?" he asked wearily.
Their eyes met and Matt smiled. *Yes. But that just means we get to enter a new phase where we can continue from here. Hopefully we'll be in better shape!* His eyes twinkled wickedly at the last thought.
*Won't that be fun!* Izzy grinned back at him, his own eyes dancing merrily.
Exhaustion sank into their bones, making them feel heavy. They snuggled closer together, their arms as tight around the other as their feeble muscles could go. Both could feel their breathing and their heartbeats slowing down.
They leaned closer to share a gentle kiss. **I love you!** Then their eyes closed and they fell into a deep sleep.
By the time someone checked on them they had all ready left their bodies behind. The nurse was touched by the blissful smile on their faces. When she told the other remaining digi destin they smiled and said that they were happy the two were together. They had them buried that way so that they could remain wrapped in each other's arms for eternity.
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I want to thank Athena for the title. She posted it on the message board. Well, I hope you enjoyed this. Please let me know. Thanks for reading.
Midget: Hi. This is a birthday fic for The Annoying Girl. Happy Birthday!! I hope it's a great one!
Pairing: She requested a Yamashiro, so here you go.
Warnings: Yaoi(of course), angst, and death
Setting: A retirement home room.
Summary: It's been a long time since the digi world. A lot of things have happened, not the least of which is the relationship between Matt and Izzy. They've lived a long life together and now it's time for them to leave the mortal world. But first they take a moment to think back to how it all began.
Notes: *...* means that's what someone is thinking
**...** means they're both thinking the same thing
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or any of it's characters. Please don't sue me because it would be a waste of effort since I basically have nothing.
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Izzy carefully settled himself on the edge of the bed. He smiled slightly into the somewhat dull eyes of his long-time love and spoke softly as he greeted him. "Hi, Matt. I know it's been a while since we were last together. We've been apart for what seems like forever, but soon we'll never have to be apart again. Isn't that great?"
Matt smiled happily in answer. They looked deeply into each others eyes, communicating silently like they had done so many times before. Then a noise caused Izzy to look up. A nurse came in and checked the machines. She smiled sympathetically at Izzy and left.
Shaking his head, Izzy gave Matt a rueful smile. "They all do that, act sympathetic, but none of them understand," he informed wryly.
A twinkle appeared in Matt's eyes. He winked conspiratorially. *No one ever did.* Izzy chuckled softly and nodded, then struggled with a coughing fit. It lasted for a few minutes and left him wheezing slightly.
"Yeah, I know it's no surprise. Even most of our friends still do and after all this time," he said despairingly. They both chuckled at the memory. This time they both were thrown into a coughing fit. Their hands met and they held on to each other as they fought to regain what little breath they had left.
"I miss you," Izzy admitted suddenly, his tone serious. *You don't know how much it hurts not to be near you.* "I miss you so much that it hurts. I miss having you to talk to everyday. I miss having you to cuddle with and wrap my arms around each night. I miss being woken up with a kiss and usually arriving late at the office to see indulgent smiles when it didn't stop there."
Devilish glee lit Matt's eyes, tempered by a longing for those days to return. *Those were the days. I've missed him so much.* His eyes showed the same pain of separation that Izzy felt, automatically helping to ease the load.
"I miss everything about our life together," Izzy told him sadly. "I can't wait until we can be together again. This time it will be forever."
The joy and conviction in Matt's eyes found an answering depth in Izzy's. Perfectly attuned to each other, words were not necessary for them to know each other's thoughts and feelings. So they sat in silence for a moment, just basking in the other's presence. **Finally. This is paradise.**
Finally Izzy broke the silence. A wistful grin crossed his face as he asked whimsically, "Do you remember how we got together?" He smiled widely when Matt rolled his eyes and grimaced. "I thought so."
************Flashback************
"Go, Tai!" Matt shouted excitedly. "Kick that ball in before the buzzer goes off!"
"You can do it, Tai!" Izzy added loudly. "Just a little further...."
"Yay," Kari cheered as her older brother scored.
Just then the buzzer went off. The score changed to 22 to 3. Tai's team had won by a considerable amount.
"All right," Joe said happily. "He did it."
"Just like we knew he could," TK announced happily. His adoring eyes followed the older boy as he ran back to his team.
Tai paused to look up at them. He gave the group his biggest grin and flashed them a victory sign. They all laughed and shouted their congratulations. Than Sora grabbed him in a hug. When she released him his team mates took turns slapping him on the back.
"It looks like he's going to be busy for quite while," Matt commented wryly. "I hope he doesn't take too long getting to the restaurant."
"I wish I could go," Izzy told him softly. "Unfortunately I must hurry home. We're having a guest over tonight."
"I'll walk you back," Matt offered quickly.
"Are you sure?" Izzy asked hesitantly. *I'd really like to have you walk with me. We never seem to spend enough time together.* "I wouldn't want you to be late to the party because of me."
"It won't be a problem," Matt assured him easily, hiding his nervousness. *Please don't make this any more nerve wracking.* "Right guys?"
Joe nodded mildly. "We can spare him for a little while. Besides, we'll tell Tai if he asks, so it won't bother him," Joe informed him confidently. *I hope.*
"If he gets there before Matt," Kari reminded them cheerfully. She smiled with amusement as she gestured to the large group still celebrating on the sidelines. "He doesn't seem to be in any hurry to leave his team."
TK nodded absently, scanning the crowd. *She's supposed to be here somewhere...Ah-ha!* "Hey, there's Mimi!" he exclaimed excitedly, tugging on Joe's arm to direct his attention to the pink clad girl.
*Thank goodness! She should be able to occupy Tai so we won't have to worry about that.* "Lets go talk to her," Joe suggested happily, guiding Kari and TK away. "Maybe she'll be able to go to the party for a little while after all."
"Well, I guess that's settled," Izzy said dryly. *Not that I mind! No, not at all!*
*Thankfully.* Matt grinned ruefully at him. "Shall we go then?" he inquired, gesturing for Izzy to proceed him.
Laughing softly, Izzy obediently led the way. They were silent as they weaved their way out of the semi-crowded park to the almost deserted streets. Neither felt the need to talk at first, but Matt's curiosity soon won out.
"So, what have you been up to?" he asked curiously.
"Oh, not much," Izzy replied with a shrug. "I've just been... uh, nevermind." He looked away nervously. *I'm not sure if I should tell him.*
"Come on, you can tell me," Matt encouraged persuasively. ""Don't worry about me laughing at you because I won't. I promise."
"Well, I've been gathering information," Izzy explained him evasively. *This is too personal for me to share right now. Please understand Matt.*
Matt gently grabbed his arm and both came to a stop. "If you don't want to tell me anything you don't have to, you know," he told him gently. "Just know that I'm willing to listen anytime you do. It doesn't matter what you want to talk about because I'll listen to anything you have to say." *I mean it.*
"Thanks Matt," Izzy said sincerely, smiling gratefully. "I appreciate it." *A lot.*
"Anytime," Matt replied lightly. He glanced down to see his hand still gripping Izzy's arm. *Now I don't even want to let him go when I touch him! I've got it bad.* Blushing slightly, he released him and started walking again.
*What was that all about?* Shrugging, Izzy hurried to catch up. After a moment he asked, "What about you? What have you been doing?"
"Oh, I've been working on my music," Matt answered casually, automatically adjusting his pace to match Izzy's. "I've been practicing my playing and I've even written a few songs." *Depressing songs about impossible love that mirror my life.* "I've even started talking to some of my friends about forming a band."
"It's good to have goals at our age," Izzy announced wisely. "I've been working on courses I found on the Internet about how to become a computer software engineer."
"Cool," Matt said, impressed. *That's just like you. Don't worry, I know you'll be great at whatever you do.* "Then you can make all kinds of programs, right? Maybe you can even find a new way to the digi world."
Izzy laughed softly, shaking his head and causing Matt to smile slightly. "What?" Matt asked, bemused.
"That's one of the reasons I decided to become a computer software engineer," Izzy admitted, still chuckling.
Matt blinked at him in surprise, then joined in his laughter. They had stopped outside of Izzy's building, so they leaned against the wall to catch their breath.
*He's perfect.* Matt sighed quietly, sobering as he watched Izzy. *Well, I promised Tai that I would do this so I'd better get it over with.* "Izzy, there's something I need to tell you," he announced nervously. "It's something you might end up hating me for."
It was Izzy's turn to look surprised. *What could possibly make him think that I would hate him?* "Matt, I won't hate you no matter what it is," he assured him confidently. "I promise."
"Don't say that until you know what I have to say," Matt advised, a touch of bitterness in his tone. *Trust me, it's easier if you don't have to take that back.*
"Go ahead and tell me," Izzy urged impatiently. *This suspense will drive me crazy.*
Matt took a deep breath. "Okay, it's like this. I'm gay," he explained in a rush.
"O-kay," Izzy said slowly. *Wow. I wasn't really expecting that. The guy who is literally chased by girls is gay? How ironic! Surprisingly enough I'm not bothered by it.* He met Matt's eyes and smiled reassuringly. "Matt, you're still my friend. I don't hate you because you're gay."
*Well, at least there's a chance that he'll take this better than I thought.* "Well, that's not all of it," Matt confessed morosely, avoiding his eyes. "You see I've realized that I'm not even remotely bi because the thought of dating a girl makes me queasy and ... I'm in love with a guy."
Izzy nodded, trying to hide the strange feeling that was making his stomach queasy. *I have a feeling I know what's coming next and I'm not sure what to think of it.* "Who is the guy?" he asked hoarsely.
*Can I really do this? Can I risk our fragile friendship? I have to.* "You," he whispered so softly Izzy barely heard him. He forced himself to say it completely so that there could be no doubt later. "I'm in love with you, Izzy."
Closing his eyes, Izzy struggled desperately to process those words. *It's okay Izzy. This isn't anything you can't handle rationally. One of your best male friends is in love with you. Nothing to freak out about. You'll be fine.* Then something occurred to him. "How long have you known?"
Matt kept his back turned to Izzy, afraid of what he might see in the other boy's eyes. "I've known about myself since our time in the digi world," he answered very quietly. "I had a crush on someone else then. I didn't learn what real love was until a few months after when we spent those three weeks working each day after school on that science project."
"That was close to a year ago," Izzy said absently. He remembered that time. Ever since they'd spent a lot of time together after school. *Funny, it did seem a little strange but I never really thought anything about it. I mean, we were pretty good friends and all but we didn't hang out that much. It just seemed right, though, so I never questioned it."
"Yeah, I know," Matt agreed quietly. *There it goes. My only chance to have even a small part of him is one now. I knew I shouldn't have agreed to this.* "I didn't tell you before because I didn't want you to know. I didn't want you to ever know. That way I could at least be your friend."
Izzy felt a pang in his heart at those last words. He forced himself to focus on the fact that Matt had told him. "Why did you tell me, then?" he inquired hoarsely.
"I promised someone important to me that I would," Matt informed him in a flat voice. *Don't worry, I all ready regret it.* "I also promised that person that I'd ask you if you'd go out with me."
That caused Izzy to freeze in place. He began to feel lightheaded and he placed a hand on the wall to steady himself again. His legs were too weak to support him and he started to fall. Gentle arms caught him and pulled him back against a warm pillar of strength.
"Are you all right?" Matt demanded anxiously. *What have I done? I'm so sorry Izzy! I didn't mean for this to happen!*
Groggily Izzy opened his eyes to peer into frantically worried eyes set in a white face only inches from his own. He had a sudden urge to kiss him, just to see how he'd react. Nearly giggling hysterically, he suddenly sobered as something deep in Matt's eyes caught his attention. Beyond the worry and guilt was a depth of caring he'd never seen directed at him before. *He really does love me.* Feeling drained, he wearily leaned his head against Matt's shoulder and closed his eyes again.
*I need to get him to his house. Maybe he'll feel better after he lays down for a while.* Matt bent slightly and picked Izzy up as he explained, "Don't worry, Izzy. I'm going to take you home now."
While Matt carried him the few feet over to his door Izzy kept his eyes closed. He thought about their conversation. Only a few minutes ago he'd been enjoying a talk with one his closest friends. Now he felt lost, unable to clearly define who the person carrying him was any more. At least, who he was in respect to himself. *Is he still just a friend? What do you call someone who is in love with you?*
Matt pushed the doorbell, then waited impatiently for Mrs. Izumi to answer. It seemed to take forever before he heard footsteps, and yet only a second at the same time. He felt incredibly guilty for unintentionally enjoying the feel of his love in his arms. *It will probably be the only time I ever will, though. After this he won't even want to talk to me anymore.*
The door opened, breaking into their thoughts. Mrs. Izumi gasped as reached out to touch Izzy. "What happened?" she asked fretfully.
"I'm not really sure, ma'am," Matt answered honestly. "We were only a few feet away, talking, when he suddenly swayed on his feet."
"I'm all right, just very tired," Izzy whispered, blinking ruefully up at his mother. *I don't know if I can walk on my own right now, so I think I'll stay where I am.* He smiled apologetically. "I didn't mean to scare you."
Mrs. Izumi smiled in relief. "It's okay. Haven't I told you staying up late playing those games on the computer was going to catch up to you sooner or later," she asked exasperatedly. She smiled at Matt. "He looks so tired. Would you mind carrying him into his room?"
"No ma'am," Matt answered swiftly. *You have no idea how much I don't mind.*
"You know which one it is so go ahead," Mrs. Izumi told him, gesturing to the door as she moved out of the way. "Why don't you help him get settled while you're at it? I've got to get his dinner."
"It would be my pleasure," Matt replied without thinking, heading toward the correct bedroom. *Help him get settled?!?! I'm hoping she only meant set him down on the bed. And I said it would be my pleasure! Oh boy.* He mentally kicked himself as he struggled to contain the redness warming his cheeks.
Izzy snuck a peak at Matt's face. He nearly burst out laughing when he saw the expression of half-panic and half-shock resting there. *I wonder what he's thinking. Did he catch what he said? And does the blush on his face have anything to do with that?* A faint blush stole across Izzy's face as he remembered what that had been and he quickly diverted his thoughts from that particular area.
Matt nudged the door open, then carried Izzy to his bed. He gently set the smaller boy down in the center of the bed sitting up, then carefully arranged the pillows behind him. While he did so Izzy remained leaning against him. *Poor guy. He had a really bad shock today and it's all my fault. Hopefully he'll let me make it up to him.*
*Why don't I pull away from him? I'm not supposed to want to be around gay people. I've never had a problem with it personally, but I've been taught that it isn't normal and should be avoided. Many people find it disgusting. But the look in his eyes and the tender way he treats me isn't disgusting. Does the fact that I'm not repulsed mean that I am like him?* Izzy sighed as he let Matt lay him back against the pillows.
"Izzy, I'm sorry," Matt said quietly, looking down at his hands as he sat back. "I shouldn't have told you. It only upset you. I know you probably don't want to be anywhere near me and I can't blame you. That was a lot to spring on you like that. Just please give me a chance to make it up to you, okay?"
Izzy opened his eyes and tried to speak, but Matt put a finger on his lips to silence him. "Think about it for a few days, will you?" he asked in a whisper. "That's all I'm asking. I'm going to go now. Call me when you decide." Then he got up and hurried out the door.
"Oh, Matt, are you leaving all ready?" Mrs. Izumi asked in surprise as he quickly passed her. "I thought you might want to stay for a little while."
"I'd like to, but I've really got to go," Matt explained regretfully. *Trust me, it's better this way anyways.* "Tai's team won so we're supposed to be having a victory celebration at the pizza joint. I'm supposed to be there all ready but I wanted to walk Izzy home first. I really do need to get going, though."
"Well, that was sweet of you," Mrs. Izumi told him in a pleased tone. *I'm glad Izzy has such good friends.* "Tell Tai I'm happy for him."
"I will," Matt replied as cheerfully as he could. "Have a good evening."
"You, too," Mrs. Izumi said happily. *He's such a nice boy.* She walked into Izzy's room to see him frowning thoughtfully. "Now don't even think you're going to convince me to let you out of this room tonight. You're going to stay right here and get some rest. And no playing on the computer."
"Yes, ma'am," Izzy answered obediently, realizing that she had no idea what he'd really been thinking about. *And it's a good thing, too. I'm not sure how she'd react to it.*
"Well, I need to get ready now," Mrs. Izumi announced wryly. She settled the tray on his lap. His dinner consisted of a plate of sushi, potatoes, and rice along with a glass of water. "I'll be in to check on you before I go to bed and you'd better be asleep young man."
"I'll get some sleep," Izzy promised, smiling slightly.
He sighed when she closed the door, leaving him alone with his thoughts. Izzy set his tray on the desk beside his bed so that he could change. An oversize T-shirt that read 'I love computers!' and a pair of khaki shorts made up his relaxing outfit as he called it. Once he was changed he settled himself comfortably and turned his attention to eating.
Izzy pushed his food around his plate absently as his mind wandered back to earlier. *Why can't I stop thinking about it? Why does the look in his eyes haunt me?* He sighed, forcing himself to eat a bit of potatoes.
The phone rang, startling him so badly that he spilled some of his water and sent his fork flying to the end of the bed. Scowling irritably, Izzy snatched the receiver from the hook.
"Izumi residence, Izzy speaking," he mumbled, trying to clean up the water on his tray before it spilled into his lap.
"Hey, Izzy! It's me, Tai," the voice at the other end announced cheerfully. "I'm sorry you couldn't make it to the party, but at least you were at the game. By the way, what did you think of it?"
"It was interesting," Izzy replied hesitantly. He'd all ready forgotten all about it, but he didn't want Tai to know that.
"Is that all?" Tai asked in a disappointed tone.
"Well, what else do you want me to say," Izzy inquired dryly, moving to set his tray on his desk. He gasped when he saw the time.
"What's a matter?" Tai demanded immediately. "Izzy?"
*It's all ready been that long? Time really flies when you're thinking.* Tai's words snapped him back to reality. "Huh? Oh, nothing," Izzy answered softly. "I just realized that it's all ready eight thirty. I've been sitting here for over an hour trying to eat my dinner and I've only finished about a third of it."
"Are you feeling sick or something?" he asked in concern.
"Nah, I'm fine," Izzy told him calmly. "Like I said, I was thinking about something."
"What were you thinking about," Tai inquired curiously. When Izzy remained silent he added, "Come on, you can tell me. I promise I won't tell anyone."
"Well, it's about Matt," Izzy said reluctantly. *Should I tell him?*
"And...," Tai encouraged persuasively.
"He told me today that .... that he is gay," Izzy answered haltingly. *Well, he'd have to find that out eventually anyways.*
"Is that it?" Tai asked, a thread of disappointment in his voice. "I all ready knew that!"
"You do? Since when," Izzy demanded, feeling left out.
"I've known since the digi world when we were traveling together to find the rest of you," Tai explained ruefully. "I kept hounding him about whether or not he liked Sora or Mimi and he finally told me he preferred the guys to girls. It was the only way he could get me to leave him alone."
"Oh," Izzy said dumbly. He shook his head in an effort to clear his thoughts.
"So, what do you think?" Tai inquired casually.
"I'm not sure," Izzy admitted heavily. "I don't have any problems with him being gay, I know that much. He is my friend, after all, and that doesn't really have any bearing as far as I'm concerned."
"Then what's the problem?" Tai asked in exasperation.
*Should I tell him? Tai is one of our best friends. I need to talk to someone, but should it be him?* "Do you solemnly swear never to tell anyone?" Izzy demanded anxiously.
"I all ready promised I wouldn't," Tai reminded him impatiently. "So tell me all ready!"
*I hope I'm not making the wrong decision.* "Matt told me today that he ... that he loves me," Izzy explained very softly. "He also kind of asked me to go out with him."
For a moment Tai was silent as he pondered that. *I didn't think he'd actually be able to do it. No wonder he was so preoccupied earlier. But what if Izzy doesn't feel the same?* Then he inquired quietly, "What do you think about it?"
"I don't know," Izzy snapped in agitation. He sighed and rested back against the headboard of his bed. "Sorry, Tai. I didn't mean to bite your head off. It's just ... oh, I don't know. This is all so confusing."
"Well, lets try to clear it up," Tai suggested sensibly. "Tell me how you feel about Matt. Has it changed from what you felt before?"
"Yes! No. Oh, I don't know!" Izzy said in an agonized tone. "That's the problem. I cared about him a lot. We've been getting really close lately, you know. And I know that I love him, but is it that kind of love? I've never really thought about a relationship before. The only ones I've ever had are with my family and with you guys. How am I supposed to define them? And I've always been told that being gay was wrong and that they are disgusting. But Matt isn't disgusting. The way he looks at me, the way he treats me, none of that is disgusting."
"Well, stop worrying about what other people say," Tai told him sternly. "People aren't always right, no matter what they might think. How can any person claim to know what right and wrong is when it comes to love anyways? And about not knowing what it is you feel for him. Well, you're just going to have to do the same thing every other couple has to do. Try it and see. If it goes no where then at least you gave it a shot."
"It's not as easy as that," Izzy retorted with a sigh. "These are our emotions we're talking about, not some new hair product. There could be serious consequences if it turns out to be a mistake."
"And there could be serious consequences if not trying it turns out to be a mistake," Tai pointed out reasonably. "It's not a whole lot different than dating a girl except you probably won't have to deal with someone so extremely emotional. At least Matt doesn't change moods that fast."
"Talking from experience, huh?" Izzy inquired dryly. "Sora or Mimi?"
"Sora, but don't tell her I told you so," Tai replied wryly. "Tonight was the first time she's hugged me in a long while. Usually she doesn't get within two feet of me. If you say something she'll start avoiding me like the plague again."
"And that is a bad thing?" Izzy asked curiously.
"Of course, she's one of my best friends," Tai answered sagely. "And in case you're wondering part of the reason she wouldn't speak to me was Mimi."
"Well, you are going out with Mimi after all," Izzy pointed out mildly. "Ex-girlfriends have been known to have a problem with their exs dating their friends."
"Another good reason to avoid females," Tai shot back. "You have no idea what it's like and it's better that you don't! Trust me on this one."
Izzy rolled his eyes and shook his head. "How did we get on this topic anyways? Weren't we talking about Matt and me?" he asked dryly.
"Yes, we were. Look, all I'm saying is that you should give it a chance," Tai said sensibly. "You won't know unless you try. Besides, it won't be much different than it is right now except you'll start hanging out together more. If it goes beyond that then you'll know it can work. Remember, though, it's not going to be easy. It never is. But it may turn out to be worth it."
"Do you really think so?" Izzy asked hopefully. *I want to try, but what if I mess up? Is it really worth the risk?*
"I sure do," Tai answered confidently. "I've seen what love can do in the form of my parents. You've seen it with yours. Doesn't what they have look wonderful?"
"You're right," Izzy said thoughtfully. He remembered the time with the Bakemon. His parents had turned to each other. All these years they'd had some rough times but mostly they were just happy to be together. A smile crossed his ace. "Love is worth it."
"So you'll try it?" Tai inquired eagerly.
"Yes," Izzy answered calmly. "Why?"
"I was just wondering," Tai replied casually. "Well, I'd better let you call Matt. Goodnight, Izzy!"
Izzy blinked as the dial tone suddenly came on. *Now that was weird.* Shaking his head, he dialed Matt's number. *I hope I'm doing the right thing.*
"Ishida residence, Matt speaking," a depressed voice answered.
Excitement shot through his veins, causing Izzy to loose his train of thought. Off balance, all he could manage was, "H-hi Matt. It's Izzy."
"Izzy! Are feeling all right? Look, I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to make you feel sick. If I'd known you'd react like that I would never have...," Matt explained in a rush, his words tumbling over each other.
"It's okay," Izzy broke in soothingly. *Man, he's really worked up about this. Poor guy.* "I was just feeling a little overwhelmed, that's all. I'm fine now, really."
"Are you sure? You looked so pale ....," he said anxiously.
"Yes, I'm sure," Izzy replied wryly. "I called because I, uh, wanted to talk to you about your question."
"My question," Matt repeated, puzzled.
"The questions you kind of asked after you told me ... what you told me," Izzy explained sheepishly. *I think it's going to take a little while to get used to.*
"Oh, that question," Matt said softly. *Uh-oh. Now I'm going to hear it!* He cringed slightly as he asked, "What about ... the question?"
"Well, did you really mean it?" Izzy inquired hesitantly. "Or was it just a dare or something?"
"No, I definitely meant it," Matt answered so quietly that Izzy barely heard him. "I meant everything I said."
Izzy smiled gently as he let the warmth those words created spread throughout his body, warming places he hadn't known were cold. *Is this what love does?* He said the only thing he could. "I'm glad."
*Huh?* "Does this mean that you ... uh, want to ... uh, you know," Matt stammered hesitantly. *Great, now I sound like a first-class idiot!*
"Want to go out with you," Izzy suggested gently. He had to fight a giggle. *This has got to be the first time I've ever heard him this hesitant before.*
"Yeah," Matt replied sheepishly, his face flushing.
Izzy sobered quickly. "Matt, I have to be honest with you. I know that I love you, but I don't know whether or not it's that kind of love. Tai helped me see that I'll probably never know unless I give it a try. So I want us to give it a try, but we have to go slowly," he explained softly. *Please understand.*
"What ever you want," Matt told him sincerely. "I'm just glad you're giving me a chance at all."
"Well, we'll see how it goes," Izzy stated serenely.
***********End Flashback************
"Who would've thought that Tai could play match-maker," Izzy wondered aloud. Matt made a face and shook his head, causing Izzy to chuckle lightly. Then started coughing. It took him several minutes to recover.
Izzy gave Matt a tired smile. "It's been what, eighty years since that day?" he mused thoughtfully.
Matt nodded, his expression turning wry. *And look at us now!*
"Yeah, look at us now," Izzy said proudly. "You've lost the ability to speak, both of us are just about blind, neither of us can hear very well, we're both so weak that it's about useless to wake up since that expends most of our energy, and my memory is basically a thing of the past." He grinned when Matt rolled his eyes again. "And through it all we're still together."
The look in Matt's eyes made Izzy catch his breath, just like a million times before. Love and devotion shone at him, as stronger and truer than it had ever been. He lifted up his arms, silently inviting Izzy closer.
Izzy leaned down and settled himself comfortably in Matt's arms. "You do realize that our time has come, right?" he asked wearily.
Their eyes met and Matt smiled. *Yes. But that just means we get to enter a new phase where we can continue from here. Hopefully we'll be in better shape!* His eyes twinkled wickedly at the last thought.
*Won't that be fun!* Izzy grinned back at him, his own eyes dancing merrily.
Exhaustion sank into their bones, making them feel heavy. They snuggled closer together, their arms as tight around the other as their feeble muscles could go. Both could feel their breathing and their heartbeats slowing down.
They leaned closer to share a gentle kiss. **I love you!** Then their eyes closed and they fell into a deep sleep.
By the time someone checked on them they had all ready left their bodies behind. The nurse was touched by the blissful smile on their faces. When she told the other remaining digi destin they smiled and said that they were happy the two were together. They had them buried that way so that they could remain wrapped in each other's arms for eternity.
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I want to thank Athena for the title. She posted it on the message board. Well, I hope you enjoyed this. Please let me know. Thanks for reading.
