It was time for Peer Mediation class at Hogwarts. A subject that had just recently been added to the school curiculum. Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Neville Longbottom all left the Griffindor Common Room to go to Peer Mediation 101...with Lucius Malfoy as their Professor.

Each student was told to leave their bags down at the bag of the class room and come to the front when they had done so. Although one of the meanest men alive was standing befor ethem they still somehow managed to act like a bunch of fiev year olds at their lunch break. For some strange reason, Mr. Malfoy seemed very relaxed and calm. Maybe he was plotting some kind of scheme.

"Everybody!" Lucius shouted "Let's just all calm down. Now, I want each of you to take out your flash-cards, pick a partner and get going. Potter, you can be my partner."

Harry's smile suddenly dropped. His mouth was open wide and he looked almost as if he were about to cry.

"I don't want to be with you! I want Neville!"

The class gasped at Harry's reaction. They quickly silenced and turned sharply to face Lucius. He then replied.

"Now, now, Harry. No need for that. Neville's already got a partner. You can be with Ron if you like."

Harry could have done the sensible thing and just gone along with what Lucius had instructed, but no. That would be too simple. Not challenging enough for our beloved Harry Potter.

"I don't want Ron! I want to be with Neville!"

"Now, now, Harry. If you keep this up you'll have to go on the naughty step."

"No! No Naughty step! I want to be with Neville!"

Lucius sighed impatiently.

"Now, now, Harry. I didn't want to have to do this. Avada Kedavra!"

And within seconds, Harry had quickly evaporated into thin air...or, evaporated to a big field in Forks, Washington. A man called Carlisle Cullen approached Harry.

"Ahhhhhh! I'm a really hot vampire!" screamed Harry, in terror.

"Well, hello there, Harry. My name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I would like to adopt you into my extremely hot vampire family."

Harry was then thrown a little off course. He reckonised somebody. An old friend. A friend who was supposidly killed by Lord Voldemort in the grave-yard. It was Cedric Diggory. What confused Harry even more was the fact that he himslef had just been killed by Lucius Malfoy and yet, he was still breathing. So, did this mean that being 'killed' by Voldemort just turned you into a really hot vampire? If that was the case, why didn't he do it sooner? I mean Harry isn't exactly a looker now is he? Anyway, he continued his rant.

"Hey, Cedric" he said this with a whine in his voice.

"I'm Edward, you fool! Edward Cullen!"

Edward? I thought his name was Cedric. Does this mean that they'll have to change Harry's name to Jason Cullen? Of course it doesn't.

"Why are you called Edward?"

"Would you like me to explain in detail or just a quick, short, summary?"

Harry let out a groan and pulled a face which made him look like he had just swallowed a wasp. Edward replied.

"I'll explain anyway...through song! Here is my reason why."

All of a sudden, two girl's dressed in over-sized hoddies and jeans, from County Kerry in Ireland, started beat-boxing. One of them stopped to prepare for a rap while the other continued with the steady beat. They began explaining Edward's story.

"I was seventeen and I was dying of Spanish Influenza. This guy, Carlisle, came along and saved my life by biting on my, Oh! My brethern where vampires and I was now one of them unfortunatly. So, you see now, I'm in love with this girl Bella. She's really pretty. Harry, you showed up out of nowhere! Out of the blue, like! With nothing to say, like! And on your forehead was a gammy scar. And you have an ugly grin on your face. You think that you own this place. But Forks is my hometown. Not something to frown upon. So, head back to Hogwarts and stop trampling around my turf. Hairy Panhead, quit asking me questions about my traumatic past. Sadly now you're part of the Cullen clan and I can't change that,but you can die!"

Harry stood there in awe. Not quite sure what to make of his traumatic experience. All he knew was that if they were to make a video of that rap and put it on YouTube, it would be a hit!

So, let us now leave Harry and his new found 'happiness' and return to Hogwarts.

Since Lucius Malfoy had just "killed" Harry Potter the class were now struck with terror. He was now the deadliest dark wizard of all time. Or so the students thought. Lucius turned to face the students and resumed.

"Okay, so, does everybody have a buddy?"

Ron didn't know if he should reply to this, for fear of being killed. He did anyway.

"Erm, Mr. Malfoy? You just killed my buddy."

Lucius let out another sigh.

"Okay, Mr. Weasley. I suppose you can be my buddy. Let's stick together through this friendly, family, fun activity."

"But, you're not friendly...or my family...and, you're certainly no fun!"

"Now, now, Mr. Weasley. No need for that."