It was a particularly beautiful day on the island of Hokkaido. The sun was shining, the monkeys were playing in the conifer trees, and Heihachi was sleeping. In the snow. While shirtless. How he managed to do that at his age baffled most doctors and most people who would be able to brave the cold: Yetis, Eskimos and even a Sergei Dragunov. Regardless, he seemed like he was content as frig and no one seemed to object to the idea of him laying there. Except for our favourite androgynous person, Leo. She was simply concerned that he'd get frostbite or hypothermia, that's all. She also entertained the idea of him really being made out of metal, like a Jack, and if she licked him, her tongue would stick to his body.

No one even knew why she even thought of putting her FACE near any part of his body intentionally. Not even the monkeys. Not the plants, and definitely not the rocks. Not that the plants or rocks or monkeys would have any say in the matter. "He's old and stinky and GROSS!" is what someone from the tournament we know of would say in this situation. But still, Leo wanted to try out the "Heihachi is secretly a robot" idea. Her plan was to sneak up as quietly as possible (which would be VERY hard, as the snow made a crunchy sound whenever someone took a step), and to just... lick him. Simple. "It's fool proof!" She thought.

It took a little while, maybe fifteen minutes, to build up the courage to actually go through with it. Leo was ballsy, but not that ballsy. As planned, she started to gently walk over to the sleeping man. He stirred, and the German stood there like a deer in headlights. "Did he hear me?" She thought. "No. He couldn't have! Old people can't hear well! I'm still in the clear!" She continued towards the man. When she was just a few feet, maybe about a metre, away from the man, Kuma came out of the forest.

"Shoo! Can't you see I'm doing something important here?" She motioned to the bear. The animal looked confused. "Just don't make a SOUND, ya damned animal!"

She disregarded the grizzly bear and continued with her mission. She was close to the old man, so she went in. She leaned in, tongue out, when she noticed something. Something on his face. His eyes were open, and staring at her in anger.

"AAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH!" The androgynous girl screamed as she ran away.

"Get your ass back here!" He yelled back. "Don't think you can run away!"

In time, Leo was caught by Heihachi for her crazy idea. It turns out that no, Heihachi is not made out of metal, and your tongue wouldn't stick to him in the cold. Leo was disappointed by this, and spent the few hours she spent tied to a tree sobbing loudly. The birds, monkeys and deer got annoyed by this, which was a surprise to the girl, and they stopped keeping her company, unfortunately. It was when she started to talk to herself when she realized that no one should have the idea to come close to Heihachi, unless they're in a fight.