Disclaimer: Yes, I own Harry Potter ... lego, that is, and it's years old.


Wot's that?

Yeh. I'm Mudungus Fletcher. Dung, they calls me. Oi, Mum, much as I luv yer, I don't really like me name. Sorry.

Oh, so I gots someone who actually wants to hear my side of the story? Yeh right.

I didn't want to go.

Why'd Mad-Eye Moody have to drag me into that bloody thing anyway?

Hah. Like I wants to be Harry bloody Potter for a while.

Well, maybe I did. But even if it'd be nice to be 'im for a li'l while, that li'l while shouldn't be flying through the bloody sky on a rickety old broom with Moody watching my every bloody move! And ten bloody Death Eaters on our tails, yeh?

And then he followed us. I swear, all the life was sucked out of that air. All I saw was his red eyes underneaf that hood. He was all dressed up in black. From wot I hear, his nose is kind of funny. Like he's 'ad experimental plastic surgery. Hahaha. Him, and experimental plastic surgery? Ha!

See, it was Lord Voldemort. Don' make me say it agen.

So, being me, I apparated away. Gawd, he sent the bloody Killing Curse at me! I ducked, but it hit Moody. I still ain't believin' it. Moody, dead, gone, not 'ere anymore. Gawd.

And since, obviously, the bloody great Harry Potter can't legally apparate, they probably stopped chasin' us after that.

Wot's that? Oh, yeh. Maybe the fact that neiver of us was there made 'em stop chasin' us, too.

Everyone says it were all my idea. The only thing is, I doesn't remember thinkin' of it. All I knows is, I was just wandering along, and suddenly there was this sort of shadow, and then it's all hazy. And the next thing I remember is walking in to the Order's meeting – which I had been on my way to – wiv these random thoughts echoing around in my head, telling me to tell everyone.

They thought I'd gone mad, eh, but that it was a genious idea. Hah, me? Genious? Yeh right.

Until tonight.

Of course, gettin' yelled at by Molly and ignored by the rest of 'em – that ain't exactly what I wanted! Or want.

How can they think I betrayed 'em? Ha, they're the only mates I got! Apart from ol' Wallace Derry an' Jack Traws, but they don' really count no more. You-Know-bloody-Who hunted 'em down. Told 'em ter either get him all this stuff, or he'd kill 'em. Then he found out that Jack were muggleborn, and killed 'im. 'Course, Wal didn' make the smar'st move, 'tacking You-Know-Who.

Sometimes, I just wish tha' people'd be a li'l bit more understandin'. Hear my side o' the story, too.

Ha, like you care.

I'll see yer 'round, OK?