Set a year after Mytho regains his heart. An incident haunts Fakir, not giving him any rest and not allowing him to forgive himself. Implied Fakir/Ahiru.
A/N: Happy birthday Lyn-chan XD Therefore this is dedicated to you
This fic is unbeta-ed. Hope there aren't too many glaring mistakes. Heh. A request fic from Lyn-chan, with the elements of 'hunter' and 'illusions in the night'. I believe this is probably even longer than the christmas X/1999 fic I did for you. I couldn't decide whether to leave a very angsty ending or to make it end happily ever after. But then I remembered it was your birthday and you don't deserve doom and gloom on such a happy day, so hope you like how it goes?
Disclaimer: Does it seem like I can do animation or draw like that? Obviously not mine.
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Italic words are thoughts/flashback kind thing.
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"Fakir, Fakir, wake up! I need to show you something! Hurry!"
The insistent ringing of an alarm clock caused Fakir to bolt straight up and hit his head against the jutting part of the window frame. Colorful sparks appeared while he sat on the tangled covers of his bed, rubbing the back of his head and cursing loudly, wondering why the heck he hadn't moved his bed to another position. His gaze landed on the clock, saw it was 2 o'clock in the morning and scowled at the offending object. If his scowls could melt and burn, then that clock would have disappeared from the face of this earth long, long ago. Slamming down on the button with enough force to nearly break the clock, the ringing instantly became silent and he thought he heard someone giggle. He saw a slight form underneath the shadows of his table, but on closer inspection the form disappeared, leaving Fakir to wonder if he really saw it or not.
Fakir knew he hadn't set his clock because it was the holidays and he didn't need to wake as early as possible, so he wondered how the hell the alarm had turned on by itself. Did the clock have some grudge against him or something? Admittedly he didn't treat the clock too well what with waking him up so early and he might have thrown it against the wall a few times… but that wasn't enough to hold a grudge was it?
After all he still hadn't gotten over that incident and it became extremely hard for him to sleep. All he would see when he closed his eyes would be the last time he saw her truly as a girl. When he remembered the blinding rage that took a hold of him when he saw what they had done to her… Even when he did rarely fall asleep, he was plagued by nightmares and he would wake up with his face wet and hands shaking badly, not remembering what the dreams were about the night before.
Refocusing once more at the alarm clock, he shook himself out of his daze and decided that he might as well take a walk… in the middle of a cold snow-covered winter night. He growled one last time at the annoying thing and after grabbing some warm clothes from his walk-in closet, he disappeared into the bathroom to change.
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"Fakir, come on! Hurry up!"
Fakir saw a pair of piercing blue eyes glance at him anxiously before he felt someone lightly tap him on the forehead. When Fakir blinked he saw an image of Ahiru's pond and with one last point towards the woods, the lithe form of the ballerina princess disappeared.
Fakir pulled his scarf tighter around his neck and adjusted the dagger he had attached to his belt. Being forced to be part of the fairytale had made him paranoid to the fact that he could be attacked any moment. Carrying a sword around was too much of a hassle and he stood out when he wanted to blend in, so small throwing knives or daggers worked much better. Making sure that everything was in place, he locked the door behind him and set off, hoping that it wouldn't snow tonight after snowing for two days straight.
Having no predetermined destination, his feet led him down a well worn path. He passed by Kinkan Academy where everything had happened and where he still attended for his ballet lessons. At first it had been too painful to attend with all those memories within those walls, but after a while he returned as she would have wanted him to. He welcomed the memories and welcomed the emotions that came with it. He deserved every little bit of guilt and pain he felt at this place. He had been such a bastard to her here, even when she proved she was trustworthy… even when she saved him… As long as he never forgot what he had done then he would gladly continue to suffer – forever if need.
As he continued on, he cut through the centre of the town square and out of the corner of his eye he thought he saw a jewelry stand with a tall thin woman waving at him and leaning against the frozen water fountain. As he swiftly turned round to look, the fountain stared back at him innocently with the snow around it undisturbed. Frowning at himself for seeing things that weren't there, he quickened his pace slightly, his breath coming out in small clouds, and he missed seeing the glowing red pendant lying on top of the frozen pool before that too disappeared.
Pausing on the bridge over the canal that led to the outskirts of the town, Fakir stared down at the flowing water. Fakir absently noticed that while the water fountain had frozen over, the canal had not. He idly wondered if it was because the water moved faster than it could freeze. Remembering on this bridge was bittersweet as well, as they had spent some of their time staring at the sunset from the bridge especially when she was a little duck and that made her easy to carry. And if he let his thoughts wander he could just imagine the way the light would reflect off the water and illuminate her orange hair into a fiery blaze just like the passion she put into doing things… Fakir clamped down on that memory as soon as it appeared. What was the point in fantasies if they did not come true? It wasn't like she would ever forgive him, so Fakir turned his back firmly on such thoughts. He picked up his pace and continued his walk as somewhere along the way, he had decided on a destination and hopefully he could get there before the sun rose. After Fakir left, the steadily moving water had become a frozen solid block
While walking along the only path available after crossing the bridge, the hairs on the back of Fakir's neck prickled, alerting him that he was being watched, yet he did not feel any malevolent presence. Hoping he was just being too paranoid, he quickened his steps, feeling that something was calling to him to hurry up, yet at the same time he wanted to drag his feet and take as much time as possible. Soon enough he reached a fork where the path split to the left and to the right. As he decided to head left, the sense of being watched disappeared. Yet he had now arrived at the very place he did not want to approach for the past few months.
The only cemetery located on the outskirts of Kinkan Town.
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Fakir heard two shots coming from the direction of the woods and the direction where he was supposed to go. Feeling his stomach clench in worry and wishing he had his trusty sword with him, Fakir made a beeline towards the commotion that had caused the roosting ravens to fly. Pushing through a particularly stubborn patch of bushes, he arrived in a small round clearing and had him instantly pushing himself back behind them while he tried to understand what was going on.
Two men were standing around one of those steel jaw traps and were discussing what to do with the smallish wolf now that it was dead. A quick survey around the clearing had Fakir determining that the two shots he heard had been used on the wolf that had gotten itself trapped in the snare. He could see the still body of a little yellow duck caught in the other trap and his heart gave a painful twinge. A mix of emotions swirled when he looked at her. He felt relieved that Ahiru hadn't been shot, worried that she wasn't moving and mainly angry at the men for setting traps that Ahiru could have gotten herself tangled with. Didn't they know ducks lived around here as well? He inched as close as he could to where Ahiru was on the other side and studied the contraption, wishing that he had a pen and piece of paper with him, so he could just write that the trap had a malfunction and Ahiru could easily free herself due to it. He could see that the steel jaws had her battered wing in its clutches and she had tried her hardest to tug herself free, but the jaws had dug deeper and she was bleeding. It seemed that her wing had dislocated and Ahiru had still continued on pulling and she fainted from the pain and blood loss after a while.
Fakir looked down at her unconscious body and he saw red. He was not one to get blinded by his anger as he was normally level-headed and thought things through first, but he saw how Ahiru looked worse for wear, all bloody and broken like a discarded doll, his blood boiled and seethed. He couldn't remain calm when the girl – duck – he was supposed to protect was hurt. He wouldn't rest until he saw those hurt to the same level as she was as well. When the two men headed their way he succumbed to the anger and he burst out from behind the bushes, ready to beat the two men into a bloody pulp.
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He picked his way around the older tombstones to get to the ones he had in mind. He thought he heard a low chuckle when he passed by one of the graves and paused to look at the inscription.
Here lies,
Drosselmeyer
Birth date unknown – Death date around 50 years ago
Author of The Prince and the Raven
Rest In Peace
Glaring daggers at the tombstone for it belonged to the man that had started all his troubles, he mentally made a note not to pass by that way again. He continued picking his way around the cemetery and finally stared down coldly at the two newer tombstones.
He felt slightly pleased that no one had come to keep the area around it clean, and it was littered with dead overgrown weeds and half covered with snow.
With one last kick at Fakir's stomach, which left him gasping for breath, the two men glanced around nervously, worried that someone might be looking for the boy they had just finished teaching a lesson to. They hurriedly took the wolf from the trap and left the other snares there, hoping that the boy would be blamed for setting the traps. With one last mutter, 'How did the boy find us?', they disappeared into the shadows of the woods. Fakir could feel that at least a few ribs had been broken and his shoulder was dislocated after such a thorough beating. He groaned in pain as he tried to stand up and his spine protested against such movement after being slammed against a tree. He limped across to where Ahiru was and nearly passed out from the wave of nausea and dizziness, but he persisted through stubbornness.
He didn't remember how he got her wing out of the trap or how he had managed to get as far as the bridge and he didn't know how Charon knew where he was; but he was grateful when he felt Charon wrap an arm around his waist and steadied him.
"Hmph."
Whether it was a trick of the moonlight or the lengthening of the shadows, Fakir didn't know, but he suddenly found himself staring at the mangled bodies of the two men with their eyes pecked out and bones jutting out from the missing chunks of flesh and teeth and claw marks all over their bodies. He blinked and the image faded.
Shivering in the cold and wondering where the image came from, Fakir glanced at his wrist watched and was startled to find that it was already 4 o'clock. Leaving the cemetery in a hurry, he backtracked to the fork on the path he had traveled earlier on and took the right path this time. Once again he had the feeling that someone was watching him, but he ignored it, having done him no harm the first time.
Finally reaching the end of his destination, Fakir had arrived at the pond and the woods where Ahiru had lived.
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"Doctor please! You have to find some way to save her!"
"The infection of the wound, you see, has festered too long. She lost too much blood and soon the bacteria will spread. If only she was at full health she might have stood a chance. I'm sorry Fakir, but I'm afraid it's too late."
"…………It's never too late. I won't believe it."
Fakir knelt beside a small grave next to the dock of Ahiru's pond. He gently cleared away the excess snow and fixed the toppled grave marker.
"Why isn't the story coming true! WHY ISN'T IT!"
Fakir smiled sadly at the makeshift cross he had made a few months before.
"Sorry I didn't bring any flowers this time. It's hard to get them in the middle of winter you know."
If he listened closely, he could just imagine an understanding quack in reply.
"I'm sorry Ahiru…I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough."
"Ahiru... I – we haven't forgotten about you. Mytho and Rue occasionally drop by Kinkan Town and I'm sure you've noticed when they come to visit, and I'm still doing ballet because I figured I could do it for the both of us and you really did like ballet…"
"I – I can't live without you. I really can't."
"…..But I still haven't gotten over the fact that you're gone. I can't. You still mean so much to me."
A light enveloped the small duck lying on Fakir's bed and Fakir heard a voice directly speaking in him.
"If only I… I can't forgive myself Ahiru."
"Fakir. It's my fault for being so stupid and not noticing the trap. Please don't blame yourself. Live for the future."
Fakir could see the smiling face of Ahiru before the light disappeared and the duck he was holding took a shuddering last breath and lay limp in his hands.
"It wasn't your fault. It was mine. You were so full of life even if you had turned back into a duck. You shouldn't have died."
Every time he stood here, he forced himself to relive the last moments and always wondered what he could have done different. Every time he thought about it, it all came back to the fact that it was his fault he didn't get there sooner. It was his fault he wasn't stronger. Fakir clenched his fists tighter and wished there was some way to bring her back.
"QUACK!"
"Eh?" Startled at the sudden tugging on his scarf, he looked down to the side.
"A-Ahiru!" Fakir found himself staring straight into the angry blue eyes of a little yellow duck that looked eerily similar to her. However, as he reached out to pick her up, his scarf was caught on the side of the dock and it ripped. While he was momentarily distracted to glance down at it, the image of the duck had disappeared.
"Ahiru! Is that you? Where did you go?"
All was silent save for the first signs of birds stirring to prepare for sunrise.
"Are you mad that I haven't forgiven myself? But it was my fault. Everything was my fault."
Fakir desperately stumbled around looking for any sign of Ahiru as the sky gradually grew lighter and the sun peeked over the horizon.
"Ahiru! Where are you?"
He heard some one giggle behind him and he swerved to look at the dock.
"Shhh Fakir, let's watch the sunrise together!"
His breath caught in his throat. It was just like how he had imagined she would look like with her hair alight under the glow of the sunrise. As he walked towards her unbelievingly, he hoped he would never awaken from this dream when she looked up at him from where she was sitting on the dock.
"Fakir! Come on, sit down!"
He obediently sat down, staring wordlessly at her. Wishing, just wishing that this wasn't just a dream. He wanted to make sure she was real, so he reached out to touch her, but before he could, she dissolved into thousands of tiny lights.
In the place where she sat, lay a tiny golden egg.
Fakir picked it up and smiled truly for the first time after she had died.
"I promise I'll take care of you this time round Ahiru."
Fakir sat on the dock, cradling the egg in his hands, and watched the most spectacular sunrise he had ever seen.
"I'm never going to let you go again. Never."
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This was hard to write. Especially since I haven't seen Princess Tutu for like.. what... two to three years? If Fakir is OOC, I apologize a lot since this Fakir is from a fuzzy memory.
Liked it? Leave a review and tell me what you liked about it.
Confused? Leave a review and I will gladly elaborate.
Horrified at how OOC Fakir is? Leave a review and tell me how to improve.
In other words, please comment on this?