Author's note: Well, a while ago, I wrote a list of 150 things I'm not allowed to do (I'd post it here, but it's quite lengthy, being 150 and all). I got this idea from a good friend on (you peeps on would know her as Erzebet), who said she got the idea from Not Allowed to Do at Hogwarts. So, I thought, well, if I can't post 150 things I'm not allowed to do, I could post things you're not allowed to do at Hogwarts. Those of you who know me will probably notice that I only made slight changes to some of the 150 things I'm not allowed to do anywhere. I also decided to make it a roundrobin on Ginny Potter, so I'll post new entries on fanfiction as well, giving credit to the author. For now . . . enjoy!

Not allowed to poke Filch in the face.

Not allowed to tell Snape that nobody likes him and he shouldn't wear swimsuits.

Not allowed to throw first years into the Forbidden Forest.

Not allowed to pull Draco Malfoy's chair out from underneath him.

Not allowed to pretend I'm Fred or George Weasley and escape on a broom to make a joke shop.

Not allowed to pretend I'm Harry Potter and roll around the floor, screaming, "Voldemort's coming! Voldemort's trying to eat meeee!".

Not allowed to hide a giant in the Forbidden Forest and blame it on the centaurs.

Ron Weasley is not my soul mate

I should stop ranting about the fourth Harry Potter movie. Seriously, nobody knows what I'm talking about.

Crabbe and Goyle do have brains and those comments are uncalled for.

Students Against Snape's Ugly Nose (SASUN) is not an actual association.

Not allowed to run around naked

I am not the Princess of an unknown place called Genovia or Coventry Island, and the people at Hogwarts still have no idea what I'm talking about.

Fourteen is not Voldemort's number and protesting against it won't get me anything.

Chickens are not going to join forces with Voldemort and help him take over the world.

Not allowed to go through Filch's private pages.

"But I wanted to figure out if he was having a secret affair with Snape!" is not an excuse to go through his Filch's private pages.

Flitwick is just short, not a giant gnome attempting to eat us all.

Not allowed to run with knives.

Ditto scissors.

Ditto my wand.

Umbridge may have been wuite mean, but she never tried to make people eat bubotuber pus.

Not allowed to shout, "All hail the Dark Lord!" whenever Harry Potter comes into the room.

Hermione Granger did not turn into a cat and attack me with her very sharp claws . . . it was just Crookshanks.

I deserved it for deliberately stepping on him.

I shouldn't put a giant neon sign in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom by the sinks, saying "CHAMBER OF SECRETS, OPEN 24-7".

"But they were too atupid to figure it out!" is not an excuse for doing so.

Not allowed to magically write, "Romilda Vane is an idiot." on the walls.

If I insist on doing so, could I please take it off as Filch, being a squib, can't?

Filch's nickname is not "Squibby"

Peeves is not my idol.

Not allowed to run around, screaming, "APENDOODLE WEINBURGER!".

Binns is not the most boring person in the world . . . well, not allowed to say that, anyway.

Not allowed to break into Snape's potion cupboard and make a polyjuice potion of him.

Not allowed to pretend I'm Snape and make fun of myself in a Potions class.

That also goes for Defence Against the Dark Arts class, and I'm not allowed to pretend I didn't realize that.

Not allowed to make voodoo dolls.

Not allowed to use the Quidditch pitch as a shrine towards Peeves . . . the school gets ANGRY!

Not allowed to play with matches. (You pyromaniac)

Not allowed to set fire to the school, Snape, or my siblings.

Not allowed to cast jinxes at Snape in Norwegian.

Not allowed to cast jinxes at Snape in French.

Not allowed to cast jinxes at Snape in Mexican.

Not allowed to cast jinxes at Snape in German.

Not allowed to cast jinxes at Snape in English.

Pretty much not allowed to cast jinxes at Snape in any language.

Even Pig Latin.

Not allowed to break out randomly into The Llama Song during a very important lecture.

My name is not Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, or Prongs.

50. Ron Weasley is not my boyfriend and we do not have a child together.

Ditto Fred Weasley.

Ditto George Weasley.

Ditto Harry Potter.

Ditto Viktor Krum.

"Well your mom doesn't know how to do a disarming curse!" is not a comeback.

I should stop writing about Harry Potter having amnesia.

Most people have not been to Azkaban eleven times, but that doesn't mean I live there in one of the jail cells.

I do not have a child who is part dementor.

I myself am not part dementor.

Ditto Snape.

Ditto Filch.

Ditto Harry Potter.

Ditto Malfoy.

Ditto Crabbe.

Ditto Goyle.

Ditto pretty much everyone.

The fourth Harry Potter movie was not made by the devil; it was made by the Warner Brothers.

Not allowed to look up everything about a person I don't know and say, "OMIGOSH! It's you! I heard about your mom, I'm so sorry, getting trampled by hippogriffs like that! Don't you remember me?".

Not allowed to tell Snape to take a nice long shower.

Or drown in it.

Not allowed to tell the teachers how I really feel about them . . . there's a sure ticket to expulsion.

Not allowed to change the Hogwarts song to anything about monkeys flinging crap at each other.

Voldemort is head of the death eaters, not the Mafia.

Filch isn't a death eater.

The reason Filch isn't a death eater isn't because "he was too ugly, even for Voldemort".

Not allowed to say Voldemort's name . . . oops.

Not allowed to tell Fluffy to eat Snape.

Ditto Filch.

Also not allowed to tell Fluffy to just drool on Snape.

Again, ditto Filch.

Not allowed to give Malfoy a name that means, "Jackass who needs to get a life because he sucks."

Not allowed to play with my wand.

STILL not allowed to run with scissors.

Or my wand.

Not allowed to tell the ickle firsties to start a rebellion against homework.

Not allowed to say I'm Buffy's descendant and must sacrifice someone.

I most likely do not have an identical twin that I was separated from at birth, and once again, nobody knows what I'm talking about.

Umbridge is not a frog in a disguise . . . she just looks that way.

Not allowed to write, "I must shut up" on my hand in red ink and blame it Snape and his detentions.

Not allowed to get out the light saver in the middle of class . . . Darth Vader is NOT there, and for the last time, nobody knows what I'm talking about.

Voldemort is not secretly a sheep farmer, living happily with his wife, Bellatrix.

Nor is he a llama farmer.

Sirius Black is not Stubby Boardman.

Not allowed to tell the teachers (particularly Snape) to go screw themselves.

Or Filch.

Hermione's cat did not eat my homework.

Or sit on it and therefore ruin it.

I am not Emily from Corpse Bride, and people are sick of telling me that they don't know what I'm talking about.

I'm not her twin sister either.

Not allowed to ask for Richard Harris' email anymore. He's not living, and Harry Potter doesn't know anything about him.

Not allowed to call Umbridge a witch and have her burned at stake.

The reason is not because it won't work.

But it won't work.

The reason is because it's not nice.

Just stop confusing people!

Can't have the other teachers burned at stake, particularly the men.

Ditto Filch.

Ditto everyone else on staff.

Ditto myself.

Because of course we're witches, idiot.

My robes should not have words on them.

Particularly swear words.

If you want to get really detailed, "Go fk yourself" is something you don't want on your robes.

I do not know Voldemort's phone number.

And it's not just because he doesn't have one.

Not allowed to Google search the phrase "Voldemort sucks butt".

I don't know that Flitwick has been cheating, and I'm not allowed to call him "Baby"

He doesn't know what I'm talking about anyways.

The correct response to "Are you serious?" is a simple a "Yes, I am" Or "No, I'm not." Not, "You idiot, Bellatrix killed him." (Stole it from Erzebet on my original one and I'm stealing it once more!)

"My Humps" is not to be sung on school grounds.

Not allowed to protest against the fact that we can't have knives at school, especially with, "This wand could be a weapon too! Didja ever think of that? Huh? Huh?"

Ditto, "This chair could be a weapon too! Didja ever think of that? Huh? Huh?"

Ditto anything else.

Not allowed to use my blanket as a parachute when jumping out the Astronomy tower.

Not allowed to jump out of the astronomy tower.

I am not part of the Mafia. (What are you talking about, Molly?)

Ditto the Order of the Pheonix. (What are you talking about, Molly?)

Ditto the F.B.I. (What are you talking about, Molly?)

Ditto the Esteemed Elders. (What are you talking about, Molly?)

Ditto the Death Eaters (Ah, now I know what you're talking about.)

"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" is not allowed to be said on school grounds. (Erzebet stolen again, but I would have put it on anyways)

Ditto "Twitchy little ferret, aren't you?" (My own)

Not allowed to say, "Ms. Cheesebaker presents her compliments to Professor (insert teacher's name here), and begs him/her to keep his/her abnormally large nose out of other people's business."

Ditto "Ms. Rose agrees with Ms. Cheesebaker, and would like to add that Professor (insert teacher's name here) is an ugly git."

Ditto "Ms. Klutz would like to register her astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor."

Ditto "Ms. DuBaer bids Professor (insert teacher's name here) good day, and advises him/her to wash his/her hair, the slimeball."

Crabbe is not a "fat lard" and I shouldn't say so.

Ditto Goyle

Albus Dumbledore is not my great-grandfather.

Hermione's cat's name is Crookshanks, not "Wussy Cat"

Murder is not a healthy way to let out my anger.

"But Voldemort does it!" is not an excuse to do so.

Hermione did not steal Ron from me and fate will not bring us together.

Dobby is not secretly Regulus Black.

Ditto Sirius.

Ditto Kreacher.

Not allowed to burst in on secret sessions between Dumbledore and Harry Potter, screaming something about potato salad.

Not allowed to attack Snape with a spork.

Percy Weasley may be a git, but the entire school doesn't have to know about it.

150 is not too many things I shouldn't do at Hogwarts.