Sacred Spaces
By Athena02
Author's Note: Retconning more time in between 2x14 (the kiss) and 2x15 (the betrayal). Or pretending there had not been a betrayal at all.
oOoOoOoO
Heda, they called her. Commander, leader, first among the Twelve Clans, among the warriors. Yet, one of the first lessons Lexa had learned years ago was that a Commander placed others ahead of herself. Always.
The battle had been a minor skirmish, an ambush set to try to capture a roving group of Reapers that had been spotted leaving the tunnels. Lexa had gone out at dawn with the warriors, taking her place at the head of the raiding party. They'd returned late in the afternoon after a fierce fight, shadows playing through the trees. Her warriors melted back into the pattern of their lives, but there was no rest for the Commander. Unlike the others, Lexa did not relax, did not let her guard down. She held onto the adrenaline in her veins, pushing ahead stoically, past the point of exhaustion.
Though she was confident that they had left behind no stragglers or survivors, Lexa doubled the watch over the camp, fearing retaliation or another enemy who could take advantage of her warriors' exhaustion. She saw to the few wounded, making sure the healer was well supplied. The three Reaper prisoners they'd taken had been restrained heavily, and Lexa made sure the guards were alert and ready to ensure their captives' safety as they withdrew from the effects of the Mountain Men's poison. And she remained stoic as she respected the sacrifice of the warrior who had fallen in combat, her presence as Commander honoring him as he began his journey Beyond. The words of the funeral rite, brief as all things with her people, rose from Lexa's lips, leading the chorus of warriors and loved ones as flames claimed the body.
It was well into the evening, the full moon high in the night sky, when her people were safe and everything seen to, that Lexa allowed herself to turn her attention inwards.
She walked through the camp, head held high and hand resting easily on the hilt of the sword at her hip. Firelight flickered in her dark eyes, darkening the smeared shadow of blood and kohl on her face. Her senses took in the familiar post-battle sounds of her people gathered together. Boastful warriors loudly trading stories, deep in their cups. Partners and lovers quietly speaking in their tents, clinging to each other in defiance of the chaos and danger that had threatened them that morning.
At the edge of the camp, where the light of the fires surrendered to the darkness of the forest, Lexa paused, dismissing the guards that followed her with a few short words. They halted, but Lexa knew they would not be very far. She continued into the forest, following a path that only she knew. The sound and light of the camp faded, until soon Lexa was alone, trekking among the silent trees.
A mile from the camp, she came to a large clearing in the trees. A large, spring-fed pond glimmered silver in the moonlight, its surface as still as glass. This place was for her—tied to her—and for her alone. She stood quietly for a moment, closing her eyes. She breathed, and the clash of fighting and the words for the dead echoed in her ears. Yu gonplei ste odon.
Lexa's hand rose to the clasp at her shoulder, unfastening the shoulder guard that announced her rank. Carefully, she laid it on a large flat stone near her feet. Gloves, gauntlets, chest armor, and boots followed. She unfastened the scabbard at her waist, laying her sword on top of the pile as gently as one would a lover. Then she peeled off her shirt, leggings, and underclothes, standing naked under the sky in that sacred space.
She stepped into the water gradually. The spring was chilly, but not too cold. Just enough to help distract her mind from the lingering echoes of the battle. Lexa welcomed that silence, that fleeting moment of peace. She walked in further, the water covering her chest and shoulders. It stung briefly and then soothed the scrapes and bruises marking her skin.
The night was too dark, even with the bright moon overhead, to see the way the water was stained in her wake, darkening with a russet mix of dirt and blood as it sluiced off her skin.
Lexa breathed deeply and then submerged completely under the water. She broke back above the surface, her sodden braids sticking to the skin of her scarred shoulder blades as she scrubbed her face with her hands. She repeated the process, once…twice…until her hands came away clean from her face. It was not so simple a transformation for her as it was for her warriors back at the camp. As Commander, there were few moments of peace and no time for her to let down her guard. Nor would she want to shed the ingrained spirit of warlike command that shaped her. That was a part of her. But at least here, in this moment, she could just be.
Behind her, the sound of slow footsteps in the grass surrounding the spring pierced the quiet. Lexa did not turn to face the intruder.
"I expected you would find me," Lexa said into the darkness, keeping her back to the newcomer.
"How did you know it was me?" Clarke asked. Her tone was both surprised and amused.
"My people know better than to come here uninvited," Lexa turned to face Clarke, the water rippling over her shoulders, "and my guards would have killed anyone else well before approaching. But I have ordered that they are to allow you access to wherever I am."
A smile turned the corners of Clarke's mouth. "Well good thing for me." She sat on the edge of the rock where Lexa's armor was piled. Lexa's eyes searched Clarke's face, watching as the sky woman surveyed the clearing. "What is this place?"
Lexa paused and searched for the right words. "It is a sort of…sacred place. My people believe a part of each Commander's spirit lives here. It is a place for wisdom, for guidance. For…understanding from those who know what it means to lead the Trikru."
"It's beautiful," Clarke said genuinely.
Lexa's iron will faltered, and all else dropped away as she studied Clarke. The sky woman's blonde hair shone almost white under the moonlight as her eyes roamed over the trees and water. Lexa found herself wondering how differently Clarke, with her artist's eye, saw this place. Saw her.
Clarke's gaze fell back on Lexa, and the Commander saw her eyebrows knit with worry. "The battle…"
"Hardly a battle," Lexa interjected confidently. "We caught a large group of Reapers coming out of a fresh tunnel leading from the mines. We were not able to take many alive, but we did collapse the tunnel entrance. It will no longer be a threat."
"That is good," Clarke agreed.
Comfortable silence hung between them for several moments. Lexa wasn't entirely sure what triggered the idea; perhaps it was their surroundings, or the way Clarke had respected her explanation of the location's importance to her people. Deep in her heart, Lexa knew it was just being with Clarke. All of it combined, spurring Lexa's question.
"Do you know how to swim?"
"What?" Clarke seemed puzzled by the sudden change in topic.
"Can you swim?" Lexa repeated patiently, the corners of her mouth turning up in the slightest hint of amusement.
Clarke laughed. "No. Well, not really. When I need to, I guess."
Lexa beckoned to Clarke, her hand rising and falling from the water with a small splash. "I will teach you."
Clarke hesitated. "Lexa, the last time I tried was jumping off the dam at Mount Weather and I didn't swim so much as nearly drown."
Lexa strode closer to Clarke, into shallower water. Her shoulders broke the surface to the water, then her chest. She halted a stone's throw from where Clarke sat, the water rippling low around her hips.
Her eyes sought Clarke's. "It is an important skill, Clarke. And I am not so bad a teacher. Besides," she swept her hands around her at the trees and turned slightly, silver drops of water flying from her fingers, "there is no one here to see your fear."
Clarke could not help but stare, her eyes devouring the sight of Lexa naked under the night sky in front of her. In an instant, her eyes roamed over the other woman's body. Lexa was an intoxicating meld of hard and soft; firm planes of muscle flowing into soft curves. Droplets of water clung her skin, punctuating the scars and tattoos that were normally hidden underneath her armor. Lexa stood still, more than aware of Clarke's eyes on her, before she stepped back into the shoulder-deep water, her eyebrow raised in both playful challenge and invitation.
Clarke breathed in and exhaled deeply, surrendering to impulse, and stood. Kicking off her boots, she shed her clothes, piling her things next to Lexa's. She shivered a little as the cool air hit her skin despite the heat that suddenly thrummed through her, and walked into the water until she stood in front of Lexa, an arm's length of water between them.
Lexa's eyes met Clarke's, seeing a hint of nervousness in the sky woman's gaze. Her voice was gentle, almost teasing. "Come, Clarke kom Skaikru. Do not be afraid. I will show you."
They paddled around in shoulder deep water for a while, Lexa demonstrating the techniques, and Clarke copying her. Clarke was able to swim a few strokes, but every time she started to sink, she lost focus on the motions and put her feet back down with a stubborn look of frustration.
"Almost, Clarke," Lexa said, stepping even closer to Clarke. She reached out, her roughened warrior's hands gently resting on either side of Clarke's waist. Clarke felt a fresh wave of heat wash over her skin, but tried to focus only on Lexa's words and the task at hand. "Relax into the water. Stop trying to fight it. I will not let you sink. Just swim."
Gathering her focus, Clarke pushed off of the rocky bottom of the spring, beginning to glide forward. Lexa's hands shifted to lie flat against her stomach, gently holding her up. Clarke pulled with her arms and kicked once, with Lexa treading water beside her. The feeling of Lexa's hands on her occupied Clarke's mind, holding the fear of sinking at bay as she pulled and kicked again and again, feeling Lexa's touch lighten, and then disappear. Out of the corner of her eye, Clarke could see Lexa swimming alongside her, and her heart swelled with pride and pure joy.
She stopped only when she reached the opposite bank of the pond and she was forced to put her feet down underneath her in the knee-deep water. Lexa stood up next to her, smiling.
"Clarke, you—"
Clarke closed the distance between them, cupping Lexa's face between her hands as she pressed her lips to the other woman's in an insistent kiss. She could feel Lexa momentarily stiffen in surprise, and then relax under Clarke's touch. Lexa pressed closer, skin brushing against skin, her hands sliding up Clarke's waist and back in a dizzying embrace.
Clarke and Lexa became completely lost in each other, in each shared sensation. Clarke deepened the kiss, claiming Lexa's lips as her fingers threaded through the warrior's braids. Tongue tentatively sweeping over the Commander's lower lip, Clarke's hands slid down over the scars dotting her muscled shoulder blades. The spark between them caught, growing heat and desire passing between them as Lexa's hands ran up and down Clarke's sides, her arms, her waist, feather-light touches tracing fire over the pulse point of her throat.
The last bit of Clarke's self-control shattered, and she surrendered completely to the desire she had been holding in check since that first kiss in Lexa's tent. She tore her lips away from Lexa's only to duck her head, kissing slowly along Lexa's jawline, following the curve of her neck. Clarke sucked lightly at the curve where the warrior's neck met her shoulder, as her hand gently caressed the curve of Lexa's breast. A low moan slipped from Lexa's lips into the night, triggering a pulse of need within Clarke's lower belly.
Lexa's hands rose to Clarke's shoulders, and she pushed the blonde back slightly so that she could meet her eyes. "Clarke, are you certain this is what you want? You had said you needed time…" For all Lexa's stoic patience, Clarke could see the fleeting fear of rejection in her eyes, dark with desire.
Clarke smiled softly, leaning in to give Lexa an equally soft kiss, pouring her emotions into the contact. "Yes, Lexa, I want this. I want you."
And then Lexa nodded, that infuriatingly habitual dip of her chin, and Clarke would have laughed if it hadn't been tempered by the most brilliant smile she had ever seen Lexa give. Then Lexa bent down slightly, her hands running down Clarke's skin to gently grab the back of her thighs, lifting her up and against her. Clarke's body followed Lexa's cue, locking her legs around the other woman's waist, dropping kisses along the line of her shoulder as Lexa carried her out of the water. She laid Clarke down at the edge of the clearing, the thick grass at the edge of the clearing making a soft cushion beneath them.
Lexa half covered Clarke's body with her own, keeping the evening chill away. Reverently, she kissed a line down Clarke's chest, her lips claiming her breast. Her hand slid down, intertwining her fingers with Clarke's as her tongue gently lashed at the peak of her nipple. Lexa replaced her mouth with the fingers of her free hand in order to lavish her attention on Clarke's other breast. The contact wound Clarke as tight as a drawn bowstring, a feeling that only intensified as Lexa's hand slipped from hers to stroke down her hip and side of her thigh. Clarke let out a low whimper, the sound encouraging her lover.
Clarke drew her leg up, hooking her heel behind Lexa's thigh, pulling them closer together. Clarke sighed heavily at the added pressure between her legs, while Lexa shuddered at the sensation of slick heat grinding against the firm muscle of her thigh.
"Lexa please…"
Lexa's eyes locked with Clarke's, and the blonde felt the warrior's hand glide up against her inner thigh. The breath hitched in her chest as Lexa found her center, gently stroking her for a few moments before slipping inside, filling her.
Lexa's lips brushed against Clarke's ear, her whisper low and gentle.
"Ai hod yu in."
Words failed Clarke, overcome with desire and the depth of her bond with Lexa. She twined her hands in the other woman's hair, pulling her down in a searing kiss. Clarke's hips began to rock and Lexa's hand matched her rhythm, offering the pressure of the heel of her hand against Clarke's sensitive peak as a gratifying counterpoint to the movement of her fingers.
Surrounded by Lexa, filled in every way by her love and devotion, lost in the depth of her eyes, Clarke fell shuddering over the edge, clinging tightly to her lover as her release overtook her. She buried her face against Lexa's sweat-slick skin with a low cry, reveling in every sensation.
It was several long moments before Clarke's heartbeat returned to normal and her mind regained focus. She sighed at the loss of intimate contact when Lexa withdrew her hand, but quickly made up for her absence by lying down next to Clarke, pulling the blonde woman into the pocket of her shoulder. Clarke draped her leg over Lexa's thigh, her stomach pressed to Lexa's side she rested her head on the warrior's shoulder. Lexa's hand slowly rubbed Clarke's back in a slow, idle rhythm.
"I'm going to fall asleep if you keep doing that," Clarke murmured contentedly.
Lexa's voice was full of mock seriousness, yet tender. "Is that not acceptable after making love among your clan, Clarke? It is so among the Trikru."
Clarke playfully nudged Lexa. "No, our cultures seem to share that." Her hand slid down from where it had been resting over Lexa's heart, her palm rubbing her lover's bare stomach teasingly. Lexa sucked in a sharp breath, but covered Clarke's hand with her own, lacing their fingers together and pressing a kiss to her golden hair. "Sleep, Clarke. We have time. I will be here with you." Clarke stilled, and the two women laid together, fulfilled in a way they had not thought possible just a short time ago.
Clarke's voice broke the stillness of the night. "Lexa?"
"Yes, Clarke?"
"Ai hod yu in."
Her sleeping lover cradled firmly in her arms, Lexa searched the stars in the sky, thanking the heavens that they had let go of their hold on Clarke, delivering to her not someone who would call her Heda, or Commander, or even Lexa. But someone who would be the other half of her heart.
