Disclaimer: Not mine. Chacters copyrighted to Kishimoto.
Has two alternate endings but decided to post alternate#2 in because of the very lengthy, reasonable and very good opinion I've recieved from a good, opinionated friend. The other parts are also in my Livejournal.
Who Cares, Everybody Lies
Series Title: Nothing Left III
Pairing: Naruto x Sasuke
Word Count: (Ending 2) 3418
A/n:
Purgatorio-purgatory shrugs I think you know it already. But in
case you don't, in Catholicism, it is the place you get stuck in the
middle. Neither in heaven or hell. Everything is gray. The things you
do there are the ones that will show if you're worth in heaven or be
thrown down to hell for good.
Doujutsu-eye technique
And oh, forgive Sasuke for acting like a loon. He's kind of twisted
when he's all revenge all the way yada yada then totally snapped out of
it when he's finished killing Itachi. Now, he's literally the last of
his clan.
The chirping sounds of a thousand birds. - Chidori. Chi/zen-thousand; Dori-bird
On the word Mange-
It is a shorter form of Magenkyou. Itachi used this term once. Japanese
words are usually long and they do not abbreviate when they shorten
words. It's commonly used in proper nouns. They usually cut the last
characters. But its not strictly patterned so. As long as its easy to
pronounce. ex. L'arc en ciel - laruko/laruku in japanese
Alternate ending 02
Word Count: (Ending 2) 3418
Summary: Sasuke desperately needs someone other than his own twisted reasoning to lay out to him the truth. However, given the boy's stunningly obstinate twisted reasoning and misguided beliefs(not to mention his volatile personality), it will be a thread in a needle indeed. What made it worse is that of all the person that he talks with, it was the one who was never known for subtleties and is great on missing hints.
Even if you are successful in your revenge, all that is left of you is emptiness
- Hatake Kakashi.
oOo
The memory of the first public proclamation of his ambitions in front of his first team flitted back briefly in his memory. It felt so long ago even though it has only been uttered merely eight years back. So long ago, like a forgotten, discarded cloth hidden in the closet that waited for rot and dissolution. Meaningless. It's all so meaningless now. How should he live, how should he breathe? How should he survive?
Sasuke tilted his head upward. Eyes stared at nothing, dull and lifeless.
What was his direction, what was his life? What was his focus?
Nothing. Anymore.
Worthless. Everything is worthless.
It all ended in the last pleasant, unrepentant, guiltless little smile on blood. On a puddle of the thickening red spot. Ended the last bond. Driven the dark sword towards the center of hate. Of the past.
Of lies
But it never ended there. Hate. Past. Lies.
It was here to punish him. In this pseudo-purgatorio that prevented him from summoning death to take him to sweet oblivion. But he would like the pain. Yes he would. In this pseudo-purgatorio that punished him with double words, fake smiles and absurd happiness that was never the reality. Never his reality. Never will he touch it. Never will he have it. Because he didn't want to.
Because he was masochistic like that.
Loud bangs on the door. Sasuke closed his eyes. He should lock that. Lock himself from the world and from a handful of unwelcome visitors that always disturbed his living hell.
Especially that one.
He tried to ignore the reason why he always forgot to lock it.
Too bright. He's too bright. Had to look away.
"They said that you have not been eating for 2 days. Even Sakura-chan and Kakashi-sensei can't make you move. Get the fuck over it and get on with your life, teme."
It had been higher once. A voice of a little boy. But the roughness was still there. There was always that roughness in his voice whenever he got angry. A man's voice. It may now a man's voice that has replaced it but nevertheless it has the same obnoxious tone that has never changed. Has the same nasal tone that never failed to draw his attention. It disturbed him. So he chose to ignore it.
"Sasuke!"
He did not even move a muscle.
"Oe, teme. Stop ignoring me."
Not even a minute shifting on the sheets.
"I said, stop ignoring me!"
Naruto dragged Sasuke by his hakama up from his position on the bed to stand up. In Naruto's annoyance, the only thing that hinted at the stupid dead boy's feelings was the red stare that looked at the empty air.
Naruto had pulled him so hard that he stumbled a bit for at least two steps before regaining his balance. Not caring to fix his composure even for a bit.
"What are you doing here?" said the calm, bland voice
"What am I doing here? WHAT AM I DOING HERE?" Naruto flailed his arms around madly. "Do you expect me to go around chasing girls while my best friend is trying to kill himself everyday?"
"So what of it?" Sasuke laughed acidly. "Am I going to hear those usual lines of bringing me back? Of keeping the stupid bond? I'm getting tired of those. I have done what I want to do in my whole life. This is useless. There's no point in keeping me alive."
"Its not! You had your revenge. It's enough! You're free to live your life now!" Naruto shouted, defiant. /We're still here, I'M still here/
"Can't you see?" Sasuke hissed. "I've given my life for revenge. I'm doomed from the very beginning. The Uchiha line is doomed from the very beginning. It was just waiting for someone like Itachi to finish it off. We are a cursed family, a cursed line. We were destined to stop existing the moment we were born."
"I don't understand you! You ignored everything we said, killed Itachi, and now you want to die?"
"Of course you don't understand! You always don't understand! What's the point of living! I've done what I have to do. I served my life's purpose. Could you all just LEAVE ME ALONE TO DIE!" Sasuke shouted with rage. Sharingan irises spun wildly from anger.
"I promised that I'm going to get you back, and I absolutely will!"
- As expected of my son -
- When he talks to me, your father only talks about you -
"Fool!
Why didn't you get it until now? Kakashi knows. Even Sakura knows!
You're too late! I'm too much embedded in the past! You can't bring me
back anymore! This is what I've been telling you for years, Naruto.
People suffer because of their bonds!"
- I became your companion, to see if that potential lies hidden –
"Because in the running end, those whom you have formed bonds with will betray you just for the sake of themselves!"
- It was to measure my capacity… -
"Those feelings... they were not important. They're in a way of reaching your outmost potential. Hate is the only way up. It is the only way of knowing yourself. It is a necessity to survive in this world." /Why can't you hate? Why don't you hate me? Why don't you have a grudge? I could easily deal with it if you're like that/
He couldn't look into those blue eyes anymore. But he wouldn't admit it out loud. Not while he was living. Blue eyes with a confident, strong-willed glare so piercing that it hurt just to look back. He bowed his head a bit, his face obscured by long, black bangs. His knuckles were white from the firm clutching of his fists, his hands a bit damp from the blood left from his nails biting into the skin of his palms.
With bowed head and eyes shadowed by the long yellow fringes, Naruto with his barely repressed anger decided to speak up. "You're wrong, Sasuke…having friends… having bonds does not weaken you. It's what's keeping you strong. It had enabled me to rescue you and bring you back here from whatever it is that you're killing yourself with. It kept me staying alive even though there are lots of people that wanted me dead."
Naruto looked up. "You don't have to be alone to be strong. Not everyone is selfish as you think they are. It is not hate that is keeping everyone strong. It's love. It's those bonds that you hate so much."
No, no, no no! Crimson sharingan eyes uncovered from the shadow, his anger flared up again.
"Why do you have to be honest? Why do you have to speak like that in front of me? No! Everything is untrue! Everything should be a lie! All of it! Dreams, bonds... love. They're all just a product of the loneliness and fear of being alone that lurks in every person! They lie to themselves so that they're not alone while living!"
Naruto narrowed his
eyes. "You're wrong!" An animalistic growl escaped him. His whiskers
twitched. "You know what, you don't want them gone! You miss your
family! You keep on remembering them! And pursuing Itachi reminds you
of that! You did not cut your bonds to them. You're trying to keep the
loneliness at bay by hating people. You're afraid… you're just afraid
that you will lose another bond if you do not cut them!
- If you cut your bond with him, you'll become desperate to connect yourself once more.-
He needed to die. Naruto needed to die. Now.
- Yeah I know, that's why I broke them off -
"You're a liar!" Sasuke screamed. "Having many bonds let alone one weakens you!"
Alone
and battered. Walking at the outskirts of Konoha. It has stopped
raining already. Leaving them all. Leaving everything. Naruto is
several miles lying unconscious at the bank.
- I will not be your puppet -
Naruto barely registered the war cry before Sasuke burst out with fury and chakra. Naruto readied himself for the attack.
- I will gain power in my own way… I will surpass you in my own way. -
His
fangs and nails were growing as he deflected the first attack. "You're
the one who's been lying, you asshole! Those bonds were the ones that
give you power! Strength! You're still keeping up with this hate
business even though we both know that Itachi is already dead!" He did
not even try activating Sasuke's seal as the dark-haired, young man
attacked him with his advanced doujutsu and insane speed.
Two and a half years after the first meeting he had with his former teammates came.
- It was to follow the way I heard from him. It was only a measure to get power. -
Naruto
felt his whiskers thickening and taking shape in his face as his fury
flowed like water inside. His combined chakras seeped out of him as he
matched Sasuke's speed and parried his attacks. "You've been lying to
everybody, even to yourself! You're afraid to admit that we were right
all along, you're afraid of losing the thing you built around yourself
after Itachi died!"
Birds flew away from the nearby trees as the run-over shack collapsed from the impact and the heavy chakra as the two exchanges fists and jutsus. Naruto tried restraining Sasuke's rampage while Sasuke aimed for Naruto's throat.
Sasuke shot back. "No! You're wrong! After I had taken my revenge, I lost my life that day, I have nothing now, I can't go forward, because there's nothing to go forward to and I'm not like you!"
Because there was no way that he was going to admit that in the end, they were so right.
"There is, baka! Have you forgotten all about us?" Naruto swept his left leg on the ground and Sasuke jumped away to avoid the trip. Naruto flipped backwards and stood straight, looking at Sasuke. Sasuke's eyes widened in anger and he charged towards Naruto, hands enveloped with the Chidori current ready to strike. However, Naruto only stood straighter as his hands thrust nearer. Tanned hands shot up when Sasuke's Chidori-charged hand was only several centimeters away from his chest and grabbed it. Their eyes met.
- …it was only a measure to get power-
Naruto with his overgrown fangs and cat-like irises rumbled out his next words in a disturbingly calm way. "Once, I didn't really understand why you spared me that day. I don't even know why you kept on saying we're friends while trying to seriously kill me. I felt betrayed. I felt that I was the only one really thinking that we are friends." He chillingly chuckled. "You're right, I'm so naïve. I can't even understand the reason why you are trying to kill me but I know one thing."
A pause. The red eyes intensified its glare.
"I don't believe that you only saved me because you felt like it."
Sasuke's fingers twitched a bit.
- I saved you on a whim -
"Its finished, you know. But you have been able to do your revenge without killing me. "
Naruto loosened his grip on Sasuke's wrist and stepped a bit closer. Confident eyes still blaring red. Sasuke knew that even though Naruto did not speak of it directly, there was obviously something missing there. And he wanted him to admit it out loud. The jerk.
- And at my whim you'll lose your life -
"Is it worth it? Is it satisfying as you thought you would find it? Are you contented?" Naruto dared Sasuke and placed his palms on his chest. He gasped and grunted when he felt the current numbing and ripping his flesh. He tried to keep his eyes open. His hair and his jacket rippled from the impact of the electricity on his chest. It was excruciatingly painful.
"I could kill you and you know it. You just got lucky every time," came the ever-chilling voice.
The chirping sounds of a thousand birds.
"Yes, I know," returned a strained voice from between clenched teeth.
Sasuke watched as Naruto gritted his teeth in pain. He watched as the tan flesh broke and deconstructed, broke and deconstructed. Red chakra fighting against the blue chakra of his jutsu. The bolts of electricity sometimes went deeper and it allowed him to occasionally see some bits of ribs before the red chakra passed it on in its circulation, only to cover it up again. Some dried pieces of peeled skin flew around them and danced with the electric current. It was hideous to watch and contemplate sticking your hands into a body. He curled his fingers against the other boy's ripping jacket. Now here was his chance. Of his final quest for power. Mange sharingan would arrive after he crushed that heart with his bare hands.
He watched the blood flow from his fingers as coldly as he could.
Naruto was breathing hardly now. "And what, Sasuke? After you've obtained it…? Power is not everything. You're so focused on your ambition you can't think of other things more important than that-" Naruto did not finish whatever he was talking about as Sasuke curled his fingers more against the struggling flesh. Naruto grunted in anguish.
Trying to block out the thoughts of... In order to cover up something… something inside him. It smelled putrid now. The combination of burning clothes, flesh, skin and blood.
But instead welcomed something that entered his mind again. /Meaningless… its all so meaningless now./
He growled as he ripped his hand away from Naruto's chest and deactivated the jutsu. They are all wrong. He immediately grabbed what remained of Naruto's collar and threw him down. "Grah!" He shouted in fury, his eyes still red with the sharingan.
And it might never leave his eyes. He stared down with undisguised hate.
"Ack!" Naruto coughed blood as he was thrown down into the rubble.
- Do not follow after your brother -
He shook his head and gritted his teeth.
"Fight me!" Forget it. Deny it. Kill.
He ran towards the direction where he had thrown Naruto and began pounding into him. However, Naruto kept his back to Sasuke, accepting the each blow and hugging his chest protectively while breathing heavily open-mouthed and kneeling on his knees. His eyes were tightly closed as blood continued to drip from his arms while he felt his chest sizzle and the red chakra did its work. A small puddle of blood began pooling on the leveled roof under him.
"Fight me, you idiot!"
- Sasuke, quit seeking revenge. In the end, those who tasted revenge were not satisfied. It ended with tragedy -
"Fight
me like you used to!" He screamed quite desperately, barring the voices
he heard from his mind. He grabbed Naruto's shoulders and forced the
man to face him.
However, Naruto continued to not block a single the hit or punch. He just sat there, facing Sasuke with his defiant look even though he was hurting like hell.
"Thought you have everything, huh, Sasuke?"
"Nooooo!" Sasuke screamed, covering Naruto's words by doubling his efforts of hitting the boy. He punched that annoying face and his eye in an attempt to stop the blonde from looking at him with those shimmering blue irises. From baring his soul or probing his heart. He punched and punched and punched until the skin started to swell and break, creating wounds on his face and some on his bare chest, each one crawling with blood.
Still Naruto refused to fight him. Still looking at him with an insolent face. A bruise was starting to form around Naruto's right eye, but it did not stop him from looking at Sasuke with a single confident and piercing eye, blood trickling down from his lips.
"Why… Why can't you all leave me alone?" Naruto's head flew left as Sasuke gave a rather strong hit. He spat out blood but did not say a thing.
"Why do you always go this far for me? Only a brainless idiot could do a thing such as this!" His knuckles were shaking from the pain. He ignored the throbbing of his muscles as he continued on. The idiot was still looking back at him, his single eye fixed with a glare. It annoyed him even more.
"Are you mental? Why don't you fight back, you retard!" His annoyance continued rising.
"You're so stupid! So thickheaded! So annoying!" He punctuated every word with his punches. His knuckles were red with his and Naruto's blood.
Naruto hacked out still more blood and gripped Sasuke's cheeks firmly. Teeth bare, eyes fierce and wide with determination.
"So what? I don't care! Call me an idiot! Call me a fool! Call me crazy but I don't care! I don't fucking care because I only want you back!" He shouted. "I WANT YOU BACK!" He screamed, emphasizing every word.
Then in the spur of anger, desperation, helplessness and hopelessness, he kissed Sasuke full on the lips with all the fury and passion he held.
Sasuke gripped his arms tightly and roughly pushed Naruto away. "What are you doing? What the fuck are you doing!" He charged at Naruto again and started to hit him but lacking the same fervor he had a while back. His hands were visibly shaking from the pain, hunger, distress and agony.
"Enough of this shit, Sasuke! It's gone now, there's no way to go but forward. The past is past—you cannot bring them back. The only way to deal with it is to go on. Holding something against a dead person is stupid!" Naruto grabbed his wrist. His days with little to no food or sleep were catching up with him. He tried to dislodge the hands but they were surprisingly firm. And once again, Naruto's lips hovered from his own.
/Why…where are you getting that strength/
"We
all have our precious person, ne? Even if yours is dead, we are still
here. I'm still here. Come back, Sasuke." Then Naruto kissed him again.
- If you cut your bond with him, you'll become desperate to connect yourself once more. -
Wanting
in... wanting in... but he would not allow that. Never. Would never let
anybody in. He closed his eyes firmly and kept his lips tightly closed.
They're all wrong. He was right. He was right.
/My future is…/ But it seemed so weak now. All the things he tried not to feel were all rushing inside of him, as if he'd allowed them outside for too long.
And he had no strength to keep them all inside now…
Sasuke
did not notice when his body first broke out with sobs. It grew louder
and more insistent. Naruto let him cry and just held him all the while
giving warm, short sweet little kisses all over his face.
- If you cut your bond with him, you'll become desperate to connect yourself once more. -
"I
hate you…" He breathed against Naruto's lips, pouring out all his
sentiments on those 3 words, exhaling out something that he had kept
inside for too long.
Without the stinging pain of a hundred needles sinking into his muscles, he could only feel one source of hurt. This time it was from the inside. Inside the cage of his chest. More painful than any physical injury. This one bled without any actual wounds.
His heart.
"I hate you…"
Naruto held him all the more tightly.
"I really, really hate you…"
He had been selfish for too long.
Hot and cold. Cold and hot. Hooves of horses trampling from his ribcage, thundering, wanting out.
Then he moved away from Naruto and let out a long wail, letting out all the pain, anguish, repressed emotion, fear, and anger that he had been hiding throughout all these years.
Naruto did not know how long he had let Sasuke bury himself in his still tender chest. He rubbed and caressed and hugged him until the hiccups and the tears died down.
"Let's go home, Sasuke."
Naruto looked around the destroyed shack. Tsunade would rile him good for sure this time.
"You could go live in my apartment. I think it has enough space to squeeze your ass in there." He let out his words before realizing just what he'd said. He hoped that Sasuke would not get the unintended pun.
Sasuke looked at the floor with that somber look in his eyes and gave a long sigh.
"Pervert," Sasuke said and left him there, walking to the direction of his house.
Naruto's eyes widened in disbelief then he promptly called Sasuke an asshole, apologized afterwards for his abrupt insult, and then ran after his companion.
-
Owari
This is actually a multi-chaptered story but for now, I'll settle on this 3-part One-shots. I won't be doing the full-blown series/episodes until I've finished my recent multi-chaptered fic
Canon-wise, we all know that its Naruto that Sasuke shared a deeper bond/emotion/feelings whatever it is than anybody else in the Naruto Universe. So I don't want this to be just some kind of release of sexual tension or some most awaited love confessions (eww, fluffy j/k XD).
(Still canon speaking) Another point. Sasuke can't open himself to Sakura. Sakura can't tell Sasuke what he needs to hear. She's too soft for that. Because even though she had developed a considerable backbone, Sasuke will just easily outrule her. In times like this, he does not need any TLC (coughroughsex. J/k XD). Curious enough, Sakura is only really pushy and all with Naruto. I think what Sasuke had with Naruto is more important than what he had with anybody. He and Kakashi will just dodge each other like forever. Even though everything that Kakashi speaks of makes sense, he can't help himself being a brat in front of his guardian. Odd or not odd (depending on your interpretation) of all the people that are closest to him, he manages to open himself to Naruto (only) in some degree. The problem is, Naruto is too dumb to think of the subtle hints and the hidden implication on what Sasuke is saying and Sasuke is too hard headed to just accept soft words. Eventually, they ended up doing it the hard way, aka pounding each other to dust while shooting out scathing and slap-on-your-face words. Sasuke needed that because even if he won't admit it or does not even know it, he needs Naruto. He needs Naruto to kick his head to get out of his twisted reasoning. He needs Naruto to convince him that what Itachi had been planting into his hate/revenge-addled confused mind is wrong. He needed someone like Naruto to kick him out of his assholeness. He needed Naruto to at least take care of him, how stupid and gentle it may sound.
