Prologue

I was never meant to be in relationships.

I was never meant to be loved by others.

It all started when I was about eight years old. For several minutes, I had been looking in the kitchen fridge for a cup of pudding that I'd saved to eat hours prior. I was about to give up when I turned to see my younger brother sitting at the table, an empty pudding cup resting in front of him. I stood in shock as the anger began to build up within me.

Rage. Hurt. Kill.

Where I suddenly found the strength to carry a refrigerator and threaten the life of my own brother, I don't know. I collapsed soon afterwards, along with the fridge.

From there on, my childhood can be described as a period of bitter conflict distinguished by impulsive violence. I continued to lose my temper, throw heavy objects, and break my bones until I finally got to high school, where my body had supposedly been injured enough as to become virtually immune to any further damage when picking up any sizeable object around me. But that didn't stop people from picking damn fights with me.

To be honest, I wish this monstrous strength had never existed. I could have lived the peaceful life that I desire, and maybe even have gotten away with avoiding that damn flea Izaya. I could have found the quiet time that I so ardently covet, while making a few decent friends to share my thoughts with along the way. Tsk. The only "friend" who's stuck onto me since my childhood is Shinra. That annoying idiot.

Yet I am still living, and there are so many people around me — people whose business, whose routines, and whose lives have nothing to do with mine. I have no reason to talk to or care about them, either … if only they didn't piss me off so much.

In the end, I am pretty lucky to have a lot of good friends; I would probably explode out of exhaustion otherwise. Tom-san, Celty, Kasuka … They're all extremely tolerant of me, saving time in their busy schedule to listen to me ramble on about my day without ticking me off in the slightest. I really shouldn't take such gifts for granted when I get to see them every day.

Ha. And I even have a love life.