Note; this fic uses an element from my rp with BOWIEgirl (Waiting for Somebody--check it out! shameless ad), but it's still readable without that backstory. I was told I must start with the phrase "I never thought it would come to this." and include the words 'cellophane', 'drenched,' and 'bear', making it 550 words or less. Don't own nothing :)

"I never thought it would come to this."

Ed looked up from the newspaper, spotting Cha-Cha in the door. Her near-permanent smile was nowhere in sight, replaced with an anger and hurt that he rarely saw on her. The tone of her voice alone made him want to hide, and he swallowed the coffee in his mouth a little too quickly.

"I mean, I knew you were jealous," she continued, nearly shaking in her anger. "But this...I thought you were above this."

"Honey, what's going on?" Whatever it was, he didn't do it. Really. Could he run out the door before she could stop him...?

"It's Eddie II, Ed," she sputtered finally, doing her best to hide her tears. They were as thinly veiled as cellophane. From behind her back, she finally displayed the small bear, a gift from Ed to her. The bear was drenched, but that was the least of it's problems. An eye was missing. An arm dislocated from the socket, stuffing beginning to sprout from the wound. His ear wasn't so lucky, having been ripped clean off his head. "I know you hated this thing Ed--but you killed him!" the tears finally began to show themselves.

But wait. Ed didn't do that. He definitely didn't intentionally kill the bear! It wasn't like he was actually jealous of a teddy bear. "Cha-Cha...I know what it looks like. But I didn't hurt your bear..."

"I found him in the washing machine Ed. When anyone can read the tag; 'Hand-wash only'. Not that you can read the tag anymore, you monster," she covered her face, displaying the bear's backside. No tag. No tail, either.

"The washing machine?" Ed's brow furrowed. "Baby...I didn't do the wash this time around. You did, remember?" He finally found it safe to get up from the couch, coming forward to take her hands. Assuming she wouldn't slap him first, of course. "He must've gotten tangled in the sheets when you took them off."

It took a minute for Cha-Cha to replay the day's events in her mind, and the new realization only made her sob harder. She'd killed her own bear. She was a bear-murderer. A terror of teddies. A stuffing-thirsty monster.

Sighing, Ed began leading towards the couch. "It's okay," he assured her, sitting her down slowly. "We can probably fix him, right? And if not, I can get you a new one, okay? Eddie Troix," he held up three fingers. Cha-Cha sniffled.

"It wouldn't be the same," she mumbled tearfully, running a finger lovingly over the bear's remaining ear. He placed a careful arm around her, drawing her closer.

"Least you still got Eddie I." Finally a small smile from the queen, a hiccup.

"At least," she agreed softly, wiping her eye. Ed smiled softly, glad to see her smile again. And glad the blame was off his shoulders. He leaned down to kiss her cheek, relaxing into the couch cushions. She followed his lead, keeping the remains of Eddie II close to her chest.

"Just don't put me through a wash."