Considering the ABYSMAL amount of decent make it or break it fanfiction, I decided to contribute something. I'm really busy so I'm not sure if this will go anywhere but I just had to get it out of my system! I'm chainging a few things, but nothing too big, and quite obviously as new episodes come out this won't line up w/ the show...haha. I don't really care, I just want a fun romance between two characters I like--I may take aspects of new episodes and put them in as I see fit, but otherwise, nah. IE, Nicky leaving for denver, I obviously don't feel like doing that. lol. You can also assume that anything that happens in the show that doesn't interfere with Nicky/Payson happens in this story--I do love the show! :)
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Attending the Rock open house was strange. I felt uncomfortable as I watched my friends go through their routines--routines I easily could've done before nationals...well, maybe not the spunky beam routine Lauren did, but that's mainly because I would've been embarassed.
I feel like a total outsider....I don't belong here anymore.....my friends hardly did anything to console me, and the farther I become from life at the Rock, the more and more I begin to understand that they really didn't understand me in the first place. We had just been girls of the same age with similar circumstances, dreams and responsibilities.
Now that I established that inside, why the hell am I still here, sitting and jealously watching?
Oh, yeah, right. Nicky. The boy I'd given my first real kiss to and the boy who had misplaced faith in my ability to recover. When I ignored his call after my doctor's appointment in LA, he hadn't tried to contact me since. I can't stand it...I know I didn't want to talk to him then but...that doesn't really mean I didn't want him to make a show of coming over to speak to me! Anything would've been great. Why couldn't he have come over to my house and tried to talk to me or..or..anything!
He doesn't have time to come over to your house Payson, he's training, just like you used to, idiot.
Before I could continue berating myself, I heard Sasha start announcing the final act...
"And now, for your viewing pleasure the National Champion and National Silver Medalist will perform a duet! Give it up for Kaylie Cruz and Nicky Russo!"
My stomach tightened just hearing their names together. Kaylie came out in a beautiful and simple leotard with a provocative dip down the back. Something I would totally never have the confidence to wear. And there he was...
Nicky dressed in all black, looking as attractive and perfect as ever--you know when you're not training for the olympics it becomes a lot easier to notice things like boys...their toned arms, perfectly touseled hair, dark brown eyes....
The routine started and...I just couldn't take it. The way they were so close together, how beautiful Kaylie looked, how amazing and wonderful a duet with Nicky seemed...I quickly spouted something to mom about going to hang out with some friends from high school....like I had those, and started to leave.
He wouldn't want to be with you anymore, you can't be a gymnast, you can't relate to his life, you aren't a part of it anymore. The only reason he kissed you was because he thought you were going to come back someday and you could be together.... I could feel tears starting to come down my face as I started to leave and I heard Sasha says something to me but I just walked quickly out of the gym as applause errupted for the completed...duet.
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That was actually pretty fun, I thought to myself. Kaylie was pretty okay. And I did have to admit she was pretty creative for coming up with this entire routine. We hugged and I smiled. As I looked over her shoulder though, I saw...a back brace and a blonde ponytail.
Why was Payson leaving? I needed to talk to her. I knew we was upset about the Doctor's diagnosis...and she was in high school now, which I knew would be a disaster...
Kaylie and I walked over to the side of the gym after taking our bows.
"Kaylie, where's Payson going?" I asked.
"I didn't even see her go...." said Kaylie.
This didn't feel right. I needed to talk to her and I didn't wanna just talk to her over the phone...I needed to see her and look at her. Needed to appologise for getting her hopes up. In addition to missing her...Her hair, her smile, the way she smells...I shook my head slightly.
"I gotta go..." I said.
"Wait, Nicky, Sasha needs to talk to us!" said Kaylie, but I just kinda ignored her and grabbed my gym bag. I pulled on a pair of sweats quickly and went outside.
"Payson!" I shouted. She kept walking briskly--faster than I thought a girl with a spinal injury could. Then again, it was Payson. My stomach sank. What if she was angry with me? I started to walk after her.
I caught up to her and tried to put my hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off. Owch. She turned to me angrily.
"What? Why are you following me?" she said angrily. I could see that she had been crying. She had to be angry at me, but I had to be determined.
"Payson I'm sorry I..."
"You're what? Sorry for not talking to me for a week after you kissed me in LA? Sorry for making feel stupid for actually thinking you might like me? Well you know what I just...I can't do this. I...I don't even know what this is." she trailed off. She had seemed angry, but then she started crying. I never thought I'd see a girl like Payson cry as much as she was.
"Payson..." I didn't know what to say to her, I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her, and she continued to cry.
She stopped crying and looked at me. "What are you doing here?"
"Payson...I'm sorry I got your hopes up about the doctor at UCLA...I thought he'd have a good diagnosis, I was so sure of it...I..."
"So that's why you kissed me, you thought we'd be together at the Rock again."
I had no idea why she'd think this! "No! That's not why at all. Payson...I kissed you because...well, I wanted to. I like you...I...You're one of the most amazing people I've ever met. You're smart, talented, determined, strong willed...beautiful, Payson there's so much about you that made me kiss you. I wanted you to be back with me at the Rock but...more than that I want to be with you. I've never been so motivated and determined to succeed as when I talk to you or when I trained with you. You and me, always staying late and working hard, getting to the Rock early, Payson you'll always be that girl. I know that I'm busy training hard at the Rock but...I want to be here for you. I want to help you get through this as much as I can."
She looked at me, "Well that's good because...I need you. I just...I can't talk to anyone anymore. Everyone keeps telling me they understand but...but they just don't. They can't imagine what it's like to have a dream taken from them like it was for me. Nicky...I don't need someone to feel sorry for me and tell me they understand...I just...I need someone to be there."
I wrapped my arms around her waist, making sure to be gentle and rested my forehead on hers. "I can do that. I can be here. I know this week has been a bad example but...I'll be here for you. Through everything."
She smiled at me a little. I leaned a little bit and kissed her on the mouth. Lingering and sweet, longer than the first it made my head spin a little. When we pulled apart she sighed a little.
"What's wrong?" I asked, concerned about her face.
"It's just...what are we going to do? The Rock's dating policy and just...I dunno, to be honest I don't see how you have time for me without it taking away from your gymnastics, and I can't in good conscience distract you from training."
She was always thoughtful, and she understood that gymnastics was my life. But that didn't mean there wasn't room for her.
"As for distracting me, you won't. We're similar that way--you know I won't let it get in the way of things at the gym. Also, I honestly think you make me better. You're so inspiring and just...amazing Payson, I feel like I can accomplish so much more with you." I couldn't believe I was saying things like this, a year ago I wouldn'tve believed it, but I truly meant it. She just smiled.
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I felt so much better than I had for weeks with Nicky's arm around my shoulders, and couldn't imagine not having this. We talked for what felt like hours--about things besides gymnastics. His father, my family.
"What's high school like?" asked Nicky. I sighed.
"It's....boring. And strange. Here, we," I paused. I wasn't apart of we anymore. "I mean you have rules. The rock has rules that you have to follow for succes, need I remind you one of which you're flagrantly breaking," I smiled a little. "But anyways, all of these rules are made to push us farther to the goal, the goal is simple, be the best. In high school...I just...I don't know what the goal is." I thought about my time spent cutting class...that needed to stop. Not only was I beginning to realize what a waste this entire thing was becoming, now that I was...well, with Nicky, it wouldn't be good for me to be hanging out with a guy most of the time, would it.
"Have you made any friends?" he asked.
"Well...there's this guy," He looked down a little oddly, like he was trying to be open minded but still hiding jealousy. I laughed. "Obviously it's never been anything more than that but...well, honestly I don't know how much longer we'll be friends...He's kind of bad news. I didn't realize it until recently though. And there's another girl, who I actually like a lot...she's a bit weird. But she's made life a lot easier. She's interesting and she...she doesn't let me forget who I was, like I wanted to sometimes."
"What do you mean when you say that, forget who you were?"
I sighed. "Sometimes Nicky, I honestly just...wanted to completely forget that I ever was a gymnast. It's just difficult but...I've come to accept the fact that even though my career has been cut short I..well, I've gained something. I have integrity, discipline, work ethic, self-respect and so many amazing memories, experiences, friends and, well I got you out of the deal or something, didn't I?" I blushed a little bit at the end of the statement. I still felt awkward refering to us as a thing.
He just smiled and he leaned into kiss me again when my phone rang. I sighed and checked who it was. It was mom.
"It's my mom," I said a little annoyed. He nodded for me to take it.
"Hey mom," I said.
"Hey, when are you planning on making your way home, it's almost ten o'clock!" My mom exclaimed. I could tell she was happy and not angry, but still worried about me getting home. Wow, I didn't realize it was that late.
"Oh, I'll be on my way, I'm sorry mom."
"No it's fine! Do you need a ride?"
"Um...lemme check," I looked at Nicky. "Do I need a ride?" He shook his head no.
"No I got one, don't worry. I'll be back soon."
"Okay sounds good. Bye!" She hung up.
I frowned a little bit. Even though it was kinda cold out I didn't really mind. Nicky's arm made me plenty warm. He got up and helpped me up, and I fell into his chest a little bit. My back brace was making it kind of awkward and I frowned.
"I can't wait until I get out of this." I sighed. He put his hand on the small part of my torso that wasn't covered by the brace.
"Me either." He said with the tiniest hint of suggestion in his voice. I blushed again and laughed a little. Why was I so bashful? It was a really strange feeling. This was definitely going to take some getting used to. Not that I didn't enjoy it, but it just felt weird to be held in such affection.
I kissed him a little bit on the mouth simply because I felt like it and pulled away faster than he would've liked and smiled. "We gotta go, my mom's waiting." I said, not wanting to leave. We walked a little distance holding hands and were back at the Rock and by his car. Wow, his dad really was a doctor. He drove a BMW. He threw his gym bag in the back seat and he got in the driver's side and I hopped in on the passenger's side. I recognized a classical piece being played in the car.
"You listen to classical music?" I questioned. He got a little flustered.
"Um, yeah..."
"Cool, I do sometimes. Hey, do you know where my house is?"
"I think so but remind me." He said. I could tell he was relieved I didn't think classical music was lame.
Too soon for my liking we were outside of my house. He turned off the car and looked at me. The way he looked at me made me feel so...so beautiful, so important. I felt like he was so wonderful. So...just straight up sexy. I did honest to goodness find him irresistable. Before I knew it I was kissing him harder than I ever had before and gosh it felt so good. Maybe it was the dimly lit street lamps or the fact that we were in his car alone but I just couldn't get enough of him. My hands were in his hair and I was making sounds that normally I'd find extremely embarassing, but at the moment I just frankly didn't care. He pulled away and I made a really embarassing sound of discontentment and he laughed a little bit.
"It's late." he said. I sighed. He was right.
"When can I see you again? I understand if you're busy tomorrow and everything really I do. I just...wanna know." I trailed off.
"I'm not too busy to see you tomorrow." He said as if that was a ridiculous notion. "How about I come see you during your lunch, it should line up with mine? Then maybe after 6 depending on how late Sasha holds everyone?" He questioned, caressing the left side of my face causing the hair on my neck to stand on end.
"Yeah," I said a little weakly. After all that kissing and just everything I was still in a bit of disbelief. I smiled at him.
"Thanks for the ride." I kissed him on his cheek, lingering a little bit. "Goodnight, Nicky."
"Goodnight Payson." he smiled. I got out the car and watched him drive away. I walked up to my house and opened the door as quietly as I could. I looked at the clock on the stove. It was almost 11 and I sighed. At least mom wasn't up....
"Who was that driving you home?" I spoke to soon.
"Oh, a friend..." I trailed off.
"Hmm, that's funny. That friend has a car that looks just like Nicky Russo's. Do you normally sit so long in front of the house when a friend drives you home?" questioned mom. I could tell she was having fun with me.
I blushed bright red and didn't know what to say. I was so embarassed that my mom knew Nicky drove me home.
"Well so was it Nicky who drove you home?" she questioned. I didn't answer. "Well by how red your face is I'd say it was." she giggled. "Well, there's nothing wrong with that, but make sure you guys just stay 'good friends' in the record book, for his sake." Said mom seriously to me.
"And that's what we are, so that won't be a problem. I'm tired, night!" I said going as quickly as I could to my room without running, but not before I saw my mom roll her eyes and shake her head. Well that's great. I was hoping I'd be able to keep this under wraps for a while, the whole Nicky and me thing...I sighed. I sat down on my bed and stared at my ceiling....what just happened? Did I just get home late on a weeknight after making out with Nicky Russo in his car in front of my house? I was going insane. My phone buzzed with texts I hadn't answered.
One from Kaylie asked "So, did Nicky find you?" but it was from earlier and I didn't want to wake her up. I changed into pajamas (which was quite an ordeal while wearing a back brace. My back still felt weak without it and I had to be extremely careful,) My phone buzzed on my nightstand.
I laid down in bed carefully and checked my phone. It was Nicky. I smiled and my heart lept up a little in my chest. It said "I'm glad we talked. You're wonderful and I go to sleep with thoughts of you on my mind." I smiled big and giggled. I laid in bed feeling like the luckiest girl on earth. And with that I fell asleep with thoughts of Nicky Russo, flying through the air, and kissing in my head.
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I had never seen my daughter this happy since her injury, and I smiled. I was so excited about Payson having a boyfriend! Yeah, the no dating rule still applied to the boyfriend, but I figured I'd stay out of that one. Then the phone rang.....
"Kim, something amazing has happened, there's a doctor in Geneva that says she can fix Payson's back--she'd be able to be a competative gymnast again!" said Sasha's voice over the phone. Even though this is the information I'd wanted to hear for so long, my heart sank. What if she was wrong. I don't know I can put Payson through that again.
So yeah, basically I post whenever I feel like it, and while I love having reviews and everything, I don't not update just because I don't have a certain number of reviews--I update and write when my schedule allows for it. So yeah!
