The phone buzzed; an incessant whine clawing at the inside his head.
Sweets rolled, trying to block it out. He threw an arm out to wrap around Reid, but only managed to catch him around his waist. Reid was sitting up, so Sweets settled for what he could get. He pushed closer, resting his chin on Reid's thigh, his nose buried in the hair that trailed over Reid's stomach. At least the phone had stopped ringing.
Murmuring something into the phone, Reid's hand came down to rest on Sweets' shoulder. His fingers traced absently along the scars.
Sweets cracked open an eye. The digital clock's red glow took a moment to manifest into something recognizable. Groaning, he shut his eyes again. Why on Earth did he stay with a man who got calls at four in the morning?
Reid gave a low laugh that sounded surprisingly sexy. "I know, Morgan. I'll be there soon."
Both eyes opened this time. Reid shivered as Sweets' eyelashes swept over his skin. Smirking, Sweets pressed his open mouth to his stomach.
Reid's fingers fingers twitched on his shoulder, then pushed him away. "Quit it, Sweets." Reid gasped, his voice a low rasp.
Pursing his lips, Sweet acquiesced, taking his mouth from his skin. He hummed an unintelligible reply, rubbing his nose along Reid's semen splattered stomach.
It was irrational he knew, but it irked him to hear Reid give that laugh to Morgan. The laugh that he had to try so hard to receive. Reid could say it was just any other laugh, but Sweets knew differently. Reid might not even hear it. And no matter how he looked at it, he couldn't understand how Morgan couldn't either.
Reid's voice switched back to a more professional edge. "No, it's nothing. Give me half an hour." A moment later he tossed the phone aside.
Sweets looked up at him, his nose still pressed against his flesh. "Again?"
Raking a hand through his hair, Reid didn't answer.
Pulling his knees under him, Sweets sat up. Bringing one knee in between Reid's as he settled onto him, he braced one of his hands on the wall beside his head. The other traced along the contours of Reid's jaw, stubble biting into his fingers. "You have to go again."
Reid's lips twisted to the side in a sad smile. "You know I have too. They need us in Chicago. A four year old's been-"
Sweets mouth cut off the explanation. Once he was certain that Reid's thoughts had been efficiently stalled, he pulled away, dragging his teeth along Reid's lower lip for good measure. "I know, I know, twenty-four hours." Sweets murmured against his mouth. "Off to save the world."
"I really need to go. Hodge will want everyone ready in half an hour. It's twenty minutes to the airport and I'm need to shower."
"Good." Sweets whispered against his jaw, his lips finding his pulse point. "I'll join you."
Long fingered hands found his shoulders again and traced around a hickey. "That won't save us anytime."
"No funny business, promise." Sweets murmured. "I just don't want to lose you yet."
With a groan, Reid untangled himself and got out of bed. Sweets watched his shadowy form stumble through the clothes littering the floor while he remained under the covers. Reid reached the light switch, Sweets growled something under his breath and threw an arm over his eyes. A moment later, his eyes adjusted to the too-early intrusion of the light. Sweets stepped out from bed.
Reid was already in the shower by the time Sweets made it there. Stepping in behind Reid, Sweets wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him tight to him. The spray of the shower soaked his hair as he rested his cheek against Reid's hot skin. Reid's fingers wrapped around one of his wrists as he leaned back into Sweets.
As his lips found Reid's skin, and Reid's other hand tangled in his hair, Sweets let his eyes drift shut. He could be content stand here forever.
Reid broke away after a moment. Sighing, Sweets let him out of his grip. As much as he wanted to stay there, that was fantasy, not reality. Reality was that they had ten minutes before another absence. Reality was, this was their life. When he had chosen to pursue this thing with Reid, he had known it would result in these months of absences. He had known it, and yet, he had still chosen it. Chosen the late night phone calls, and the morning interruptions, and the random absences. After a year living together – of which they had only been in the apartment together for four months – he still wasn't sure whether it was easier or harder when Reid left.
Soaping up a washcloth, Sweets ran it down Reid's back. Running the cloth gently over a still aching scar, Sweets leaned in to kiss the hickey he had spent so long working on last night.
When he and Daisy had gotten a place together, their relationship had ended before they had even crossed the threshold. She had been expecting wedding proposal's and children. He had seen it as a split rent cheque. It had been stupid for him not to know what she had thought. All those years of studying psychology, and he hadn't been able to see what was right in front of him.
And now there was something new right in front of him. Someone new. People had commented that looking between Sweets and Reid was like looking at a mirror and its reflection. Like they shared one soul between them. Given that equation of personalities in a textbook, Sweets would have thought it wouldn't have worked out. Opposites attracted for a reason, after all. But it wasn't like that at all. It was the little things that separated them, and the big things they shared, that drew them together.
"Do you remember when the Jeffersonian offered you a job?"
Reid turned to face him, brows pulling together. His hair was piled atop his head, fingers working shampoo through his long strands. "I have an eidetic memory."
Smirking, Sweets started to clean the mess from last night off of Reid's chest. "I know that. So you remember what you said to Caroline?"
Fingers stilling, Reid's gaze shifted away to land on the shower wall. "Thank you, but I have to decline." he recited, as Sweets hands kept up their motion. "The BAU is all I want."
"And when Caroline said you could stay in one place?" Sweets prompted. "Have some pretence of a normal life? Fall in love, get married?"
Reid's gaze moved back to Sweets, though his voice still remained flat as he recited. "That my life in the BAU is my normal life. I've tried to step away from it before, and I couldn't. That anyone who wanted to share my life would need to accept that fact. I am well aware that divorce rates are not favourable, in fact, statistics say – and then Morgan stopped me." His brows pulled tighter and his eyes widened marginally. "You're not asking me to leave the BAU, are you?"
Sweets felt something in his chest break at the flare of panic in Reid's eyes. Letting the cloth fall to the floor, Sweets gripped his face with both hands and kissed him hard. "No," he whispered, pulling only far enough away that his words were coherent. "It was then I realized I was in love with you."
The fear fell from Reid's face as he blinked. "What?"
With another kiss, Sweets stepped out of the shower and pulled a towel around his waist. "I'm going to make breakfast."
With any other couple, breakfast at four in the morning would have been an occurrence. In the few months they had been living with together, it had become the norm. Breakfast at midnight? Supper at two in the morning? It was more common than not for them.
A few minutes later, Reid joined him, towelling his hair. Tension wrinkled his forehead as he rested against their counter. "What did you mean?"
Pouring pancake batter into the pan, Sweets took a moment to admire him. "You're ridiculously handsome, you know that?"
"You know that attractiveness is a societal construct that changes as society does? For example, in America, it's considered more attractive to be tan, yet in Asia, the opposite is true because of the cast system. Originally, the higher class stayed inside and out of the sunlight because they could hire others to do their work for them."
Sweets grinned and prodded at the pancake with a spatula. "Listening to you is like reading a textbook."
Another flicker of uncertainty passed over Reid's face. Ever since his last case had lasted six months with only three weekend visits, Reid hadn't been as comfortable during the two weeks he had been home. "That's bad, isn't it?"
"I don't know." Poking at the pancake with the spatula, Sweets shrugged, not bothering to hide his smirk. "I spent a lot of night alone with my textbooks. I'd love to spend more nights alone with you." He flipped the pancake, listening to it sizzle before he spoke.
When he did, his voice was a whisper, desperation threaded through it. He hated Reid's uncertainty, hated the distance that had grown between them and hadn't retreated when Reid had returned. "Do you know why I fell in love with you?"
"You're the one with the doctorate in clinical psychology."
"And you're the one with the BAU." Sweets retorted, then looked up at him. Reaching out, he tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. "I fell in love with you because you couldn't stop chasing monsters."
"But you chase monsters too."
"Shhh..." Sweets murmured, tracing a thumb over Reid's mouth. "You were out there, saving the world. You gave up nearly everything for it. This white knight, hunting dragons. I mean, I liked you, I wanted you before that, but that's when I realized I wanted to come home to you, to wake up to you. To be by your side."
Checking the clock, Sweets slid the pancake onto a plate and handed it to Reid. "You'll have to take it for the road." He grabbed the ends of the towel still around Reid's neck and pulling him closer, kissed him hard. Reid juggled the plate for a second before returning the kiss, his free arm wrapping around Sweets. With growing desperation, Sweets tried to ignore the voice in the back of his head whispering that he may not see his boyfriend for weeks.
They drew apart, foreheads resting on each other. Reid's arm was still around him, his fingers clenched around his shirt.
"I love you." Sweets whispered.
Before Reid had spent six months chasing a pack of serial killers through Seattle, their conversations had been sprinkled with the words. Even while they were on the phone, they had ended every conversation with it. Texted it to each other daily. With their line of work and Reid's past with Maeve, they'd had to. It was better to say the words till they lost all meaning then to never speak them.
But after Seattle, when they had finally had each other in their arms again, Reid had stopped. He'd give a smile, and change the subject whenever Sweets brought it up. Physical intimacy hadn't changed, but that had.
Reid's mouth pulled to the side, though Sweet wasn't sure he would call it a smile. "You know love is actually a complex series of chemical releases from the brain. Right now, our cerebral-spinal fluid is still flooded with endorphins from orgasm, which means that we're feeling it even stronger."
Swallowing hard, Sweets pressed a kiss to Reid's cheek. "Just say you love me." He said, trying to inject a teasing tone into his voice.
Reid caught his mouth for a moment, tongue tracing a line of fire over Sweet's lower lip. "I thought I just did."
Breaking away from him, Sweets turned away, fiddling with the stove. If he pushed, he might scare Reid away. He'd rather have to tiptoe around the subject, spend countless nights alone, stress about Reid getting hurt while he was across the country, than lose him. He forced himself to give a laugh. "Get out the door before you're late."
Resting a hand on his bare shoulder, Reid stepped closer to him. "You're not going to eat?"
"Nah." Sweets waved a hand at the clock. "I'm going back to bed to dream of you."
Reid buried his face in the crook of Sweets neck. "I wish I could join you."
Sweets stepped out of his hold, manoeuvring around the small kitchen. During the times Reid was gone, the kitchen was more than enough for him, and when Reid was here, the closeness was well utilized. They had spent more then a few nights with dinner burning while they fooled around after bumping into each other.
Setting the pan into the sink, Sweets turned to face him. "You'd better go." He swallowed down another lump in his throat. "Will you call me?"
"Of course." Reid checked his watch, then tossed the towel onto an empty chair. "You know you don't have to do this right? Make me stuff, I mean."
"I know. Eat your pancake 'fore it gets cold."
With a quick kiss, Reid crossed the apartment. Forcing a smile, Sweets watched him go for a moment, before turning back to the sink. It was piled high with dishes. Last night, the two of them had decided it was time to tackle them, only to both try to squeeze into the small space. After bumping hips and accidentally brushing fingers against crotches, Sweets had given up on the dishes and convinced Reid to do the same. Same as they had the night before, and the one before that. Tonight though, there would be no Reid to keep him from doing them.
"Sweets?"
He turned around, painting a smile on his face. "Yeah?"
Reid was in the hallway, the door half shut as if he was fighting the urge to race to the BAU and stay here with him. His fingers flexed on the door. As Sweets raised an eyebrow, the words seemed to spill from him. "I think you're handsome too. And..."
The veneer on Sweets' falsified smile peeled away. He still wore a smile, though sadness tinged its edges. "It's okay. Go."
"I know things have been different since Seattle." Reid's gaze dropped to the ground. Sweets hung where he was, torn between crossing the room to him, and turning away. "We'll talk when I get home, alright?"
Sweets shrugged. "Alright."
Wide eyes flicked up before Reid's gaze returned to the floor. "I'm sorry, Sweets." His voice was low, but the words were strong. "I love you."
The doors shut as Sweets stepped towards him. He watched the door for a long time, but it didn't open again.
In one of Bone's rare moments of openness, she had remarked that she didn't know why they did it. Why he would subject himself to a relationship that was doomed to progress at such a slow speed. Sweets hadn't been sure how to answer. Just that the times that Reid was there more than made up for the times he wasn't. That even the phone calls, the Skype, the texts and the pics lit up his day.
He ran a finger along Reid's mug in the sink, and retreated back to the bedroom. Flicking off the lights, he fell into the bed, pulling Reid's pillow to him. It still smelled like him, was still warm. In a few hours, he would go to work, emerge himself elbow deep in murders, and deal with Bones and Booth. Then he'd come home, and call Reid, and their new half-life would begin.
Pulling the pillow into the curve of his body, he allowed himself to imagine Reid's heat at his back and the weight of his arm thrown over him.
