Disclaimer: I only own the plot.
Summary: Harry gets depressed and suicidal after Sirius dies. Snape finds him but doesn't comfort him. Angst. Humor.
Spoilers: After Order of the Phoenix. (I can't remember if Harry cries in the fifth book after Sirius dies, so let's make a deal that he doesn't.) Goes to sixth year, but doesn't follow Half-Blood Prince.
Scratch below the surface
"Death is but the next great adventure" Dumbledore's words kept repeating in Harry's head while he thought about Sirius. Maybe..if he died too.. he could be with Sirius. After all Dumbledore is always right.
The sorting went on like usual. Harry didn't even look at the new Defence against Dark Arts teacher while his thoughts just kept going around in his head. Ron and Hermione kept giving him worried glances and Harry realized they were going to say something when the dinner came and Ron didn't even look at it.
Hermione touched Harry's arm gently and whispered: "Harry... Are you alright? Your relatives treated you fine, right and..." she tried to see if anyone was listening and continued, "if you need to talk about Sirius..You know we are here, right?" Ron looked at Harry really seriously and nodded.
Harry thought about his summer. It was all a blur, because he had kept thinking about Sirius all summer, but he guessed that his relatives must have been ignoring him. Harry plastered a fake smile on his face and said: "I'm fine Hermione. Thanks for the offer, but there is really nothing to talk about."
That didn't get the reaction he was hoping for, because Ron started to look really worried and Hermione frowned. Harry couldn't take it anymore and stood up to leave: "I'm sorry, but I think I would already like to go to bed." Hermione still looked worried, but said: "Alright, the password is Defeat Slytherin."
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Severus Snape glared through the Great Hall at the Brat and frowned when he noticed that Potter wasn't eating. An irrational thought came to his head 'He must think he's too good to eat the same food as everyone else.' Snape also noticed that Dumbledore kept sending worried glances at the Potter boy. He sneered and and watched as the boy left the great Hall in a hurry.
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Harry climbed to the Astronomy Tower taking one step at a time and thought about Sirius. When he came to the top he dropped his mask and started sobbing collapsing to the floor. He really couldn't help himself, because he still hadn't cried after Sirius died. He couldn't have because in his dorm and at Private Drive someone would have heard him.
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Snape was patrolling near Astronomy tower when he heard noises. He smiled gleefully and thought he was going to find some pair snogging in the Tower. But when he started climbing up the stairs, he realized that the sounds came from sobbing. He stopped for a minute to see if the sounds would stop or if he had to go and see what was wrong.
When the sobs only got louder he let out a defeated sigh and started climbing up again. As he came to the top, he was about to snap at the poor soul, when he saw who it was and stopped absolutely stunned.
He was standing at the doorway and what he saw made him sneer very glad that he was here to see this. Harry potter the Golden Boy of Gryffindor was crying his eyes out, alone and miserable.
Snape stepped forward when he heard Potter mumble something and stopped when he realized that Potter kept repeating "Sirius..I'm sorry..."
He wasn't sure what to do. After all, Potter was a student and he needed comfort, but on the other hand he was his enemy's son.
When he looked at Potter again, it seemed like he was getting up.
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When Harry stood up he was absolutely sure that what Dumbledore said was true. Death was only going to be the next adventure and it was the only way to be with Sirius again.
He took a handerchief and wiped off his tears. Then he breathed deeply and stood up on the window board.
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Snape watched totally surprised as Potter stood up on the window board. Then he saw, really saw , what Potter was about to do and as Potter started to fall, he flashed through the room and took a tight grip around Potter's waist.
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Harry let out a shrill scream as he felt arms coming around him. Then he tried to kick the owner of the arms, but it only made them tighter.
Harry was pulled into the Tower once more and he looked at the owner of the arms. When he saw Snape, he felt more hate than he ever felt towards Voldemort.
Harry asked furious: "Why did you stop me? You hate me, for Merlin's sake!"
Snape snapped: "You foolish brat! What did YOU think you were DOING! That mutt wasn't worth enough to kill yourself."
Harry decided at that moment that his mortal enemy wasn't going to be Lord Voldemort, but Severus Snape, the Potions professor.
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Snape decided that the sooner he could get his hands off Potter the better. As soon as Potter regained his freedom he turned, looked into his eyes and said with a thick voice: "This isn't over!"
The end/To be continued...
Author's notes: I'm not sure if I'm going to continue this, so I need reviews! But if I continue there two things I could do. I could make Harry try killing himself in every chapter and I could make this HP/SS slash.
So, give me your opinions! ...Please... :puppylook:
