Bioware owns all the characters. I just use them for their bodies my head cannon. I am a DeviantArt fan as most of you probably are. Deemonef created the cover that I used for the story. There are other wonderful artist that have contributed to my inspiration for this story and I mention them before each chapter. Although the images may not exactly match the description I wrote you can clearly see how they have influenced a character or scene. Unfortunately Fanfiction will not let me create a link for you but please check out the art and the artist if you haven't already. Still trying to catch all my little mistakes and working on writing the steamy scenes. Reviews are much appreciated.

Chapter inspiration

Agnesyo: After-the-Battle-562021505

Aestra: Jack-v2-0-348879257

Fallenparty: Jack-Downed-5-455887005

Angelic-noir: Attached-537797611

Deemonef: Will-they-part-422604935

Liarafemshep: Just-want-to-kiss-you-408136925

Chapter 1

Jack was quiet as Miranda talked on her Omni tool to the towing company. 'So much for the plan' she thought to herself as she drove through the rain.

"That's right its red one and it will be pulled over to the side. Identity code is LAW13R1NGR."

The whole plan for Jacks evening revolved around not being alone with Miranda. Shepard's big party that he threw every year was always something Jack looked forward to. An anniversary of sorts from the big bash he threw on the Citadel 5 years ago right before they took back Earth. Now they had one every year and this year it was in the hills on Ilium. They had never had the party on Illium before and it was nice that it was so close to home, but that wasn't the only reason it was different. This was the first year that she and Miranda weren't together. Jack hadn't seen her since their messy breakup 8 months ago but not going to the party because Miranda would be there seemed like a bit too childish, even for Jack. And of course she had a great time and she had been friendly and cordial to Miranda. She had even given her a hug but the plan for the evening was to avoid being alone with her.

"Ok…Yes that will be fine…yes please contact my assistant when it is ready….no I don't care about that. Just please…ok…yes that will be fine."

Why the fuck did her stupid expensive ass sky car have to breakdown in the rain. Part of her wanted to just keep on driving but that would have also been too childish. Now the rain had soaked both of them to the bone and Jack was feeling more uncomfortable by the minute. She didn't want to be alone with her, she didn't want to be driving her home and God she didn't want to look over at her. Even as she admonished the thought in her head she stole a quick glance at Miranda. Her sleeveless low cut black dress had left little to the imagination, and that was before it was soaked through and clinging to her skin. Jack couldn't help but stare a bit longer at the way the fabric was practically adhering to her thighs and breasts. It was the kind of dress Jack would have had on the floor three seconds after they hit the door…when they had still been together. She quickly looked away before Miranda could notice and she tried to ignore that tingling feeling she got in the pit of her stomach. Miranda wasn't even trying and Jack was still affected by her. 'Fuck' this was not the plan.

"Yes have a good evening…you too and thank you."

"Everything ok?" Jack asked somewhat automatically.

"Yes its fine. You wouldn't think they would have to ask all those questions. They're towing my car not writing my own personal bloody biography."

Jack smirked at that. Miranda's tongue was always good for sassy comeback or quick sarcastic one-liner…among other things.

"The first real quality machine anyone has produced since the war ended and the damn thing breaks down in two weeks." Miranda closed her Omni tool interface and let out a deep breath. She looked over as Jack drove down the rain soaked road. She had wanted to speak with her privately all night but this was not how she envisioned it. The only thing more awkward than the situation was the silence.

"Jack, I uh…just want to say thank you. I could have waited for the tow…you didn't have to stop." Jack was silent. "I mean I know we haven't spoken in a while and I…"

"We broke up Cheerleader." Jack said in a plain and flat tone. "But just because I haven't talked to you in a while doesn't mean I want to see you stranded on the side of the fucking road, ok."

Jack gave her a sideways glance and a slight smile.

Miranda remembered that look and was grateful for it. "Well thank you Jack."

Jack gave a little nod. This may not be how Miranda had envisioned there conversation going but, well here they both were. She needed something to break the ice, but found herself a bit lost for words. She glanced over at Jack and decided on one of the most obvious of courses.

"You look good you know." Miranda said as she glanced a bit too long at the new definition in Jacks arms. The red silky shirt Jack had on had no sleeves, dipped low and bundled loose across her chest, but tight around the waist. Few people would be able to pull off pairing it with black leather pants, and a new pair black boots. Combine that with her long hair that she had let grow down to the middle of her back and the sides that she still kept short but no longer shaved and well; the whole look just worked for Jack. A whole lot of bad ass mixed with just a little bit of really god damn sexy. The outfit fit Jack's body and personality to a tee and right now that shirt was showing off the wonderful new muscle Jack had put on. "You started working out again I see."

"Yeah I started one a Vega's training programs. That man loves his protein and pull-up bars." Miranda smiled a bit and Jack's light heart nature. The last time they had spoken alone…well the words said were less than light-hearted.

"Well it suits you for sure." Miranda said a bit sheepishly as she forced herself to stare at her hands in her lap.

"Thanks."

It was not that much farther to Miranda's house or as Jack thought of it an estate. The damn place had 10 bedrooms and a million bathrooms. Like most places on Ilium areas had been damaged but few outside of the city had been completely destroyed. This particular property had fared quite well. Since Miranda had been given what was left of her fathers company, money was no longer an issue even in the post-war economy. Jack coasted up to the gate and looked over at Miranda.

"Did you want to…" Jack started to say.

Miranda hesitated for a second but figured there was really no point. "I never had it changed Jack, your voice and hand print should still work." Miranda had thought about changing it, but in the end she just couldn't do it. Just one of those little things she was not ready to let go of yet she told herself.

Jack scanned her hand print and a little holographic ball of blue light appeared.

"Hello Jack. It is lovely to see you again. I see you have a different vehicle, would you like me to register it as a vehicle for this address?"

"No thank you Sebastian just open the gate please."

The program had been copied off of Glyph and every member of the Normandy team had one. Miranda had named hers Sebastian.

"Very well, and Miss Lawson the towing service said that your car is being picked up and a technician will look at it in the morning."

"Thank you Sebastian."

The gate began to swing open. "Please have a pleasant evening."

Jack let out a silent breath as she started to move forward again. It had been over eight months since their break-up but Miranda hadn't changed the gate. What kind of message was that? Or was it a message at all? Knowing Miranda it probably was but fuck…her head was already starting to hurt. Jack stopped the sky car at Miranda's front door. There was a long moment as Miranda just sat and didn't get out.

"Jack…" Miranda paused not looking directly at her, "…I was wondering if you would like to come in for a bit?" She ask still sounding rather hesitant.

God Jack didn't want that…or she did but fuck she shouldn't. "I don't know Miri. I don't think that is such a good idea, you know." Jack didn't expand or explain and really there was no need to. But Miranda needed to talk, needed to say some things and soaking wet in the sky car was not how she had pictured it. She reached out and touched Jack's hand that was gripped to the wheel. Jack didn't pull away but Miranda thought she saw a slight flinch.

"Come inside Jack, just for a few minutes… please." Her tone was sincere but soon she pulled her hand back. "You can at least let me get your cloths dry" she said in a more confident voice. "…and fix you a coffee to warm you up before you drive home."

Jack turned and looked at Miranda. The first real eye contact they had had all night or had in months for that matter. Fuck those eyes were killers. So beautifully blue and so wonderfully easy to get lost in, and…God damn it. Fuck it she thought to herself, one coffee then she'll go.

"Yeah ok but...just for a minute or so, I have to get back."

Miranda wasted no time getting out of the rain and hurried to the door with Jack close behind her. Inside Jack saw that little had changed. Jack took off her boots by the entrance way. Miranda hated dirty floors. The entrance opened up into a grand sitting room the official name of which Jack could never remember. A huge amazing kitchen was through the back and attached to that was a small café area and patio on one side and a formal dining room on the other. The upstairs was practically a separate living area all together with guest rooms and a large entertainment area which Miranda had turned into her spacious office, but she preferred the downstairs master to sleep in. She had spared no expense to have it turned into a large amazing Master suite with a private patio overlooking the pool. There were other rooms on the property but this was she spent most of her time. Fully automated with every modern convenience that a person could get their hands on these days. She had added a few paintings, and a few more pieces of furniture that looked like it had never been used, but for the most part it was the same. It was Miranda's space; it always had been. Neat, clean lines, with an understated elegance but also counter-balanced with overwhelming sense of practicality. Everything in a room no matter the size had a purpose and place, and it was used accordingly.

"Here come on," Miranda said as she led Jack through to the kitchen. "Wait here I think I still have some of your cloths."

Miranda disappeared down the hall and into the bed room. Jack stole a glance at Miranda's backside as she walked down the hall. God was is possible for her ass to have become more amazing she thought as she helpless stared at the sway of her hips. Shit she was killing her, and knowing Miranda it was probably deliberate. Jack was almost thankful when Miranda disappeared though the bedroom doorway. "Fuck" she said to herself as she balled her hands into the wet hair on top of her head. She shouldn't be here. This could only end one way…bad. She should just leave. No sooner had she thought about it when Miranda came out from the back. She had quickly changed into a pair of black cotton pants, a white tank top, and a shawl that covered her arms. Her wet hair had clearly had a towel run through it but still hung loose around her face. Somehow she looked even sexier than before. Miranda walked toward her and handed her a pair of tan cargo pants and a black T-shirt that hand clearly been cleaned, pressed, and neatly folded.

"Here you go." Jack took them from her and headed to the nearest bathroom. She quickly put the fresh cloths on but then took a minute to stare at her reflection. Her hair was now matted down to her head and dripping over her dry cloths. Jack quickly threw the long strip of hair into a tight twist on top of her head and then stared at herself in the mirror. She could hear the coffee brewing outside the door and Miranda clinking cups. "What are you doing?" she asked herself. "You're just going to go out there take a sip of coffee and then leave." When she came back out as Miranda was pouring coffee into a mug. Wait, it wasn't just any mug that was her mug. Jack and Miranda had taken a trip three years ago to the southern portions of the Yukon. A place that was mostly untouched by the Reapers. It was the first time Jack had seen a moose and she had been enthralled. With their big noses and huge ears Jack couldn't stop staring at them. She thought they were funny looking. Jack had picked up her moose mug in a tourist shop. Miranda had hated it but it reminded Jack of the moose and there trip. One of many things Jack had left behind and had never been back for. Now, just like the gate, she was surprised Miranda had kept it.

"Here. I assume you still like it with sugar." Miranda said as she traded Jacks wet clothing for the cup of coffee and disappeared into the laundry area. A minute later she was back and set to work on making herself a cup of tea. The quiet was again awkward. Miranda clearly had something to say but she wasn't saying anything. Then suddenly Jack realized, Miranda was flustered. It rarely happened but she watched her slowly dipped her tea bag in and out of her cup Jack realized Miranda had no idea what to say. Jack took mercy on her.

"So in spite of all those crappy pun jokes Traynor kept telling…it was a really fun party."

"Yes it was." Miranda said sounding a bit relieved.

"Although I don't fucking think I have ever seen Vega that wasted before. But I suppose they had reason to celebrate."

And they did. He and Ann Bryson were expecting were expecting their first child and tonight they were both all smiles. Wrex and Garrus ended up pouring him into a taxi and Ann had taken him back to a hotel.

"She did have that glow about her didn't she." Miranda said as she sipped her tea.

"How is your Tattoo Studio?" Miranda said continuing the idle chit-chat. "I saw the article they did on you and your shop. It was really well done." After the war Jack had helped to set up a new school for biotics, but she knew she couldn't continue teaching. Jack had trouble separating herself emotionally from her students. If anything one might say she cared too much and it took a lot out of her. When she finally thought about what she wanted to do with her life, the first thought that came to her mind was a tattoo studio. She had already been giving tattoos to her friends and anyone else that wanted one. She loved the drawing, the designs, and how tattooing made her feel. Like she was creating something that would be cherished. It really just came natural to her, and Jack had embraced it. It took two years to finally be in a position to start her own studio and Miranda and had been… less than supportive.

"It's going well. I am booked solid for the next six months thanks to that article. Trying to find some more artists but tattooing by hand is practically a dying art. Most people want a tattoo they just pick a design out of one of those fucking automated machines and have it laser do it. I wasn't sure how many people still wanted the real thing, but I have been pleasantly surprised."

Miranda smiled. "Well I am not surprised you have such a wait. Who would want to miss the chance to be personally tattooed at the great Subject Zero Tattoo Parlor."

"Fuck" Jack smirked as she took another sip of coffee. "I don't know about that but it's definitely going well. What about you Cheerleader? How is the mining and construction business been?"

"Going well I suppose, but I still can't get used to it." In truth if you would have ever told Miranda that she would have been going into the construction business, back when she worked for Cerberus, she would have laughed her ass off and then probably fired whom ever made the comment. But she had control over what was left of her father's assets. Colony and laboratory structures, drilling rigs, and most importantly ships and plenty of personnel. Right now mining and construction was booming. But Miranda had found a passion for the science. Soon she had started to expand into areas that held her interest. "But it's not just mining and construction anymore actually. We broke ground on a moon in the Sol system for an R&D lab. Now that so many children have been or will be exposed to element zero we will be focusing on developing and treating biotic children."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Like how to make a better human biotic?" She asked with a jokingly suspicious tone.

"No" Miranda said with a smile knowing Jack was not really accusing her of anything. "We are mostly going to be focused on how to control negative effects. Tumors, degradation of the nervous system, migraines, and things like that. We are hoping it can lead to better treatments and maybe even a better implant. It will take years before we see any progress but I think we could help a lot of children in the meantime." Jack nodded in approval.

Once they got the conversation got stated it was easy to continue. The caught up with each other. Miranda told her more about the business and Oriana's new boyfriend. She actually really liked him but she had been purposefully giving him the cold shoulder. She wanted to see how he stood up to a little rough treatment to which Jack completely agreed and complimented her on. Jack didn't want to see Ori end up with some lightweight. Jack told her about the tattoo's she had been doing. The cool ones, the challenging ones, the fucking weird and gross ones. Miranda finally asked how Ezzo was behaving and tried to hide how much she had missed him. But soon Jack had her in stitches over the misbehaving varren.

"Once your interview with al-Jilani went off the air he just went nuts. He had the whole monitor in a biotic field up in the air and just kept banging it against the wall over and over. I guess he thought he could shake you out of there or something."

"Oh No." Miranda said with a laugh but she was secretly happy. At least she knew Ezzo had missed her. "I hope he didn't cause too much damage to your new place."

"A large hole in the wall and a new monitor. The monitor was an easy fix but my landlord was not happy with the hole in the wall."

Miranda was thankful for the small talk and she felt more at ease, but she hadn't brought Jack inside for small talk.

"You know…I was quite happy when I heard you were coming to the party."

Jack smirked a bit. "What, you worried I wasn't going to show up because of what happened?"

"I was…" Miranda paused, "…concerned."

"Nah…I'd never miss Shepard's big bash. It's the only time everybody's together, and you know, that's important. Family should make time for each other." Jack's tone went serious for a moment but she soon lighten it again. "Plus I knew there would be a lot of free booze so, you know I'd never miss that."

"Yes well…I was hoping I would get a chance to talk to you at the party…but it was hard to find you when you were alone."

"Yeah well…last time we were alone it didn't end very well so…"

Miranda looked down for a moment but then a slight smiled cornered her mouth. She knew Jack was referring to the last fight they had but she could not help herself.

"Actually Jack I have mostly very fond memories of us being alone together."

Her smile got wider and it made Jack looked up from her coffee.

"Well I mean you know…fuck." Now jack laughed. "I didn't mean that…you know what I mean."

They both chuckled for a few more minutes before Miranda continued.

"I do know what you mean." Miranda with a slight sigh added to the end. "Actually Jack I've been thinking." Miranda finally started but then hesitated again.

"You're always thinking."

"It was about you and me. I was unhappy with how we ended things. I wanted to talk to you and get some closure on it…on us I guess. I was hoping on doing that tonight and believe it or not I had this whole plan."

"You have a plan cheerleader? I don't believe it."

Miranda smiled at the lighthearted sarcasm but continued on. "Yes well, something happened."

"Oh yeah what's that."

"Well, the moment I saw you tonight…I couldn't remember a single bit of it."

Jack took in another deep breath. "Look Miranda it's not complicated ok. I mean, fuck we just don't work… we don't. We tried and we're just too different people. We don't want the same things, we don't like the same things, and we're both too fucking stubborn see it any differently."

Miranda looked down into her tea. She was right. They were very different people. Even after everything they had been through together, there was the very real possibility that it wasn't enough.

"You make it sound like it was all bad Jack. Like we just walked around hating one another. I mean we didn't did we? It was good too right? At least some of the time?"

Jack had thought about that on more than one occasion. "No…it was good at times. More good than bad I think."

Miranda set her glass down and took a step toward her. She tried to look Jack in the eyes but Jack just continued to stare into her coffee. "I keep trying to remember why I didn't just call you. I mean why didn't, I just drive over a talk to you before…before so much time passed." Miranda paused again. "I guess maybe that's where some of the stubbornness come into play." Jack didn't say anything and Miranda started to feel like something inside her was going to burst if she get this out "Jack, do you feel like we should have tried harder, or something. I mean, don't you feel like we just gave up?"

Jack paused to think about her response.

"I don't know Cheerleader. I mean what's the difference between giving up and letting go? You know how long do you have to, run something into the ground until you finally realized you've buried it?"

Miranda didn't really have an answer.

"Maybe, but wasn't what we had worth it. Wasn't it worth trying for? What we had was so, unique…shouldn't we have fought harder to try to keep it?"

Now Jack did look up at her. "I thought you were suppose to be the one with the perfect memory. Fighting was our problem. All we did was fight. Well, fight or fuck but by the end…" Jack looked back down at her coffee. "…well by the end I guess we had gotten plenty of practice at both."

Miranda did remember the fighting but now all of the arguments seemed so petty and insignificant. Albeit they did all have a common theme.

"Ah yes the fighting. If I recall correctly, I was the dominating and over controlling bitch that had to run the lives of everyone around her in order to be happy."

Jack nodded and tried to smile. "And I was the untrained varren that didn't know how to express my feelings unless I was angry or in heat." Miranda smiled for a second and gave a slight nod but it was just for show. She remembered the words she said in heat of the moment. God she regretted those words. Those and all the others she had spoken in anger. She looked up at Jack who was still staring down at her coffee but no longer trying to fake a smile. It may have been a mistake but Miranda stepped closer. Slowly she moved herself forward till she was in front of Jack just a step away. Jack still would not look at her. She carefully reached out and took Jack's cup from her hand, and set it and her shawl on the counter. Jack face was tense as now stared down intently at her feet. It was not the reaction Miranda was hoping for but slowly she kept on going. Gently she reached out and encircled Jacks hands within her own. There it was. That warmth, that spark, that energy that so wantonly took their breath away. It was still there.

Jack didn't want to look up, but Miranda kept on inching closer so finally Jack just closed her eyes and in a last attempt to resist her…"Miri we can't." She whispered trying to end this before it went further.

"Why?" Miranda whispered back.

"Because we don't…because we know how this ends."

"How does it end Jack?" Miranda asked bluntly. "All I know is what happens if we do nothing."

"And if we do something…" Jack said finally said raising her voice a bit and staring at Miranda. 'Fine' Jack thought to herself. She would say it and this could be done. "…then eventually I end up on the floor of some shitty fucking hotel room! Doubled over in some kind of pain I can't find the cause of, and balling like fucking little weakling! Like a child hiding under a desk because…" The tears finally fell from her eyes "because I will have lost you again." Jack maybe should have stopped when she saw how much the words hurt Miranda but she needed to say this. "I'll get to wake up every morning and reach for you and then get destroyed when I remember why you're not there. Drink my pain away at some hell hole of a bar just so I have a fucking chance at not remembering the dreams I have about you every night."

Jack shook her head and looked back down at their joined hands. "I can't Miri. I just can't."

Jack's words broke Miranda in two. She reached up and held Jack's face in her hands, wiping her thumbs at her errant tears but Jack still would not reach back.

"I'm so sorry Jack." Miranda whispered in an almost pleading tone. "God I am so sorry." Miranda pressed their foreheads together and stayed there for a moment trying to control her own emotions. "I reached for you too Jack…God I still reach for you."

Miranda couldn't help herself as she looked at Jack's lips. She wanted them so badly. She wanted the last 8 months to disappear and to make all this hurt and pain go away.

Jack felt the soft brush of Miranda's lips on her own and her breath caught in her throat. All she had to do was sink down just a little and she could be lost. Lost in her mouth, her eyes, in her hair, in her touch. But just as she was about to give in, the memory of the pain shot back into her mind. In spite of all the months that had passed it now seemed so fresh.

"No" Jack whispered and pulled back. "No I can't do this." Jack push Miranda back from her.

"Jack please."

"No!" Jack said emphatically. "I can't…I …I have to go."

"Jack wait please." Miranda pleaded but Jack did not stop. She stepped away and made a beeline for the door. She grabbed her boots but she didn't even bother to put them on. Miranda was right behind her.

"Jack please just…just let me say one more thing please!"

Jack pressed her hand to the green holo-button. The door opened and she could have walked out but she stopped. She stood there in the door way, the rain beating down outside, not moving forward but not turning around. She could feel Miranda standing right behind her.

"Jack I…"

"NO MIRI! Ok just fucking no! You're a fucking drug or some kind of god damn dream…but I have to either quit you or wake up from you cause I just can't DO THIS AGAIN! I can't be…" Jack searched for the words for what she was feeling. She took a deep breath and calmed her voice "I can't be broken that badly again. I won't survive it."

Jacks words were painfully honest and cut Miranda to her core. The tears that had been threatening finally trailed down Miranda's cheeks.

"Ok Jack ok. Just let me say one more thing and after I'm done, if you want to go, I'll let you go."

"Then fucking say it and let's be done with this!"

A moment passed as Miranda waited to see if Jack would turn around but she didn't move. This was a good as it would get.

"I want to tell you that I am sorry. That last fight…and so many before that. I didn't mean the things I said and don't think you did either." Miranda tried but she couldn't stop her tears. "What we had wasn't just unique or special, it was more than that. It was ours." Miranda frustratingly wiped the tears off her face as she desperately tried to gain some composure back in her voice. "I hurt you, a kept things from you, and pushed you away. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Miranda took another deep breath. "But I still love you Jack. I do. And I know you still love me too so…so we can't Be Finished! We just can't be."

Jack let the rawness of Miranda's words sink in. She couldn't remember another moment when Miranda had been so open, vulnerable, and honest all at the same time. "Miranda, what do you want from me?" Jack said in an almost exhausted tone.

Miranda inched closer. "I want you Jack. I swear I want you, just as you are." Miranda took another small step forward. "I want you to talk to me. I want to her you laugh again. I want you to stay with me. I want you to take me back into that bedroom and make love to me until we're both too tired to do anything but breathe." Miranda let out another deep breath. "Stay with me tonight Jack. In the morning…I swear to you if you still feel the same way as you do now. If you still feel like what we have isn't worth the risk of giving it another chance. I won't try to stop you. I won't call you, I won't show up at door, I won't…I'll just let you go." Miranda reached out and placed a gentle touch on Jacks arm and a whisper of a kiss on the bare skin of the back of her neck. "At the very least, if you stay with me tonight we'll get the ending we deserve…instead of the one we had eight months ago."

Jack stared out the door into the rain. The cold wet of the evening was finally sinking into her bones. Out there was her sky car and the life she had been living for the past 8 months. Out there was safety and security and behind her was anything but. Behind her was danger and heart ache and pain and also the most amazing fucking thing she had ever had in her whole life. Jack wasn't sure what was going to happen, but one thing the war taught her was the danger of living with regret. She reached back up to the panel on the door and pressed the button closed.