Waking up was never the same as just falling asleep. Because in the Summer's home either you woke alone and afraid or you woke with the uncomfortable silence of you was next to you. Cause no one was really happy. No one ever really cared about you. There was no happy ending no romantic love tryst. No one here is ever lucky enough. Just the pangs of obsession. And it was oh so simple to be corrupted by someone who was already corrupt. Because misery loves company. Better hope your not it's choice.
Spike woke to a frail body sprawled out on his chest. He could feel the little figure breathing in and out, her chest rising and falling. He looked down at a sleeping Dawn. The brunette looked relaxed. She took a deep, slow intake of breathe into her lungs and let out a long sigh. But he knew she was still sleeping because her breathing hadn't changed and her heartbeat was the same. He thought for a second about how he ended up like this. This wasn't the normal sleeping arrangement. Dawn slept alone and so did he. Thats how he liked it. Dawn sleeping alone not himself. She lived alone now as well. After Buffy jumped Giles moved away. Still payed her bills, but she was alone. And last night she begged him not to leave her alone. How could he say no.
Dawn moved slowly still asleep and she dug her nails into Spike's chest. As a gut reaction he grabbed a hold of her hands then felt sorry for waking her. She moaned weekly as her eye lashes fluttered. She breathed in again and opened her reluctant eyes. She looked around and then up at Spike with a nervous smile. It was put on and Spike could see that. She didn't feel like smiling felt like running away. But she didn't she only smiled. Because she wasn't the bitter one, she was the innocent one.
"Sleep well Nibblet?" Spike asked generously as he rested her hands back down so she didn't become frightened. He looked down at her as she looked up at him. Didn't know what to do. How to react. Wanted to move her, but didn't want to hurt her.
"Sure." She yawned. "Would have slept better if you hadn't woke me." She rolled her blue eyes and smiled.
"Sorry." Spike apologized. "Wouldn't have touched you if you hadn't dug into my skin." He smiled.
"Oh, oops. I tend to do that when I sleep." Dawn grimaced.
"Claw people?" Spike looked confused but amused. "What do you dream about, being cat women?" Spike chuckled.
"No." She slapped his chest playfully. "Falling." She answered.
"You didn't fall." Spike looked down into her blue eyes.
"Some part of me did." She frowned being painfully grave now. Spike didn't enjoy this side of her as much as the others. Willow called it her resolve face.
"Dawn, Buffy fell." Spike spoke detached from his thoughts. Not wanting to feel it, any of it. Feeling far too jaded to appreciate what was next to him.
"I know. And everyone blames me for it." Dawn sighed weakly, anguish burdened in her tone. "Even you." She uttered holding in the tears. "You hate me for it." She admitted.
Spike didn't answer for a moment thinking about what she had said. Did he? No because there was no hating perfection. Though it could be exhausting at times. She was perfection. Innocence that he wanted to taint. Needed to corrupt that was what he always did. Because in this Sunnyhell you couldn't stay innocent. And so it was someones job to taint her. Might as well let himself get the satisfaction of it. Wanted the satisfaction of defiling innocent little Dawnie. The scoobies would hate him for it, despise him. And he was all right with that. Cause this would be amusement. Not just that but this was something all the demons in this sick town wanted. They had all seen her. Watched her from a far. And they all wanted Dawn. The slayers little sister. Because she was pure innocence and the slayer sister must be a delectable morsel. So it would be best for Spike to be the one to taint her. Defile her. Because it was better that he left his mark on her. So that they were warned to stay away. Knew not to mess with the big bads' little pet.
"No, I don't hate you." Spike admitted. "I could never hate you pet." So maybe he would go through with it, make her fall for every empty word he said. Because in the end it was all to protect her.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept you here last night." Dawn shook her head feeling like a fool.
"It's still last night." Spike smiled looking outside. It was still dark out. "You only slept a few hours." He smirked.
"And here you were letting me think it was morning." Dawn sighed. "I'm still tired too." Dawn yawned once again. "You can go if you want." She tried to pull away but Spike pulled her in closer.
"Not a chance." Spike touched her chin tilting it to face him. He looked into her blue eyes. "Why do you trust me so much?" Spike asked with a calm tone.
"I don't know. Because your you." Dawn exclaimed.
"Not really a good reason kitten." He smirked. "I could be very dangerous." He admitted. Though it was more true then he let on.
"Sure." Dawn rolled her eyes and smiled wryly.
"Oh yeah, well I'll show you." He smirked and leaned over her body straddling on top of her. He held her wrists down firmly, but not enough to hurt her. Just enough to make her nervous. "Afraid now." Spike smiled as Dawn struggled to get free from his grasp. She whimpered. "What's wrong Dawnie?" He mocked. "Not so trusting now are you?" Spike growled as he leaned in closer to her. He breathed intently on her smooth neck. His eyes were smoldering with desire, his body filled with arousal. Dawn could feel him on top of her. She was scared. But something inside her was curious. Afraid of what he was going to do, yet wondering what exactly it was he was doing. She still struggled to regain composure. "Dawn, what's the point in struggling?" He asked. "Can you get free?" He smirked. Then as soon as he said this she furrowed her eyes brows and stopped struggling. She couldn't get free. And she knew that. He wasn't someone who had the strength of a normal man. He was a vampire for evils sake. He was Spike. So she just looked up at him with a expression of worry in her penetrating blue eyes.
"No." She answered. "I can't." She admitted reluctantly. "Is this like some Buffy lesson. Who's got the power?" She mocked trying to lighten the mood.
"No." He answered disconnected. "I just want you." He simpered, curving his lips up in an apprehensive smile. "I know you want this." He whispered into her ear. "I'm all you've got left Dawnie. You don't want to lose that too do you?" He taunted her making her feel guilty. Like this was her choice, lose him forever or keep him here tonight.
Because Spike really was evil. Though he tried at times not to be, he still was. And Sunnydale was worse then before. Worse then they thought it could ever get. Because the slayer was dead and the next one was no where to be found. And the hell mouth had gotten to everyone. Xander had even tried to hit some old women in the parking lot for steeling his space, then Anya explained her was being "highly irrational and quiet frankly she wouldn't appreciate him going to prison and leaving her without free sex or money." The hell mouth was sending everyone into panic. And Dawn had been protected by Spike all this time. He made sure nothing touched her, nothing harmed her. But the demons wanted her, all of them. Not just them but the bad men out there. She was a prized possession. Because she was the slayers little sister. And pretty much the only innocent thing left in that vile town. And it would be a honor to defile that perfect untouched creature. Though with Spike protecting her it was near impossible to look at her let alone touch her. Dawn knew that. Was well enlightened that she was not safe alone. Not safe in this Sunnyhell. That there was no free place there. No secure place. Unless Spike was with her protecting her. And if he left then she would be alone. Unprotected. So maybe this was her ticket to completely safety. Belonging to him. Although Buffy made her promise to always be herself. Her own person. Maybe to survive she had to belong to someone. And Spike could protect her from anything. He was the most powerful creature in that town. No one screwed with him. Because he was the big bad again. Maybe that was how the evil side of him was coming out again. Because to protect Dawn that's what he needed to do. But it also was going to cause her pain. Though no matter what he would protect her. From every demon but himself. Though he knew that he was protecting her in some sick way by tainting her. Marking her. So they knew not to harm her.
"Come on Dawnie." Spike begged. "You need me." He said wistfully as he nibbled on her ear lobe. Dawn just looked up at him and nodded broken and bit her bottom lip. She was afraid and reluctant but something told her this was the smart thing to do. The wise decision. But maybe it would be better to be unprotected then used. "I wanna hear you say it." Spike traced his tongue along her neck.
"I need you Spike." Dawn whimpered hurt in her tone.
"Tell me you love me." He whispered moving his head down towards her stomach as he traced his tongue along her skin slowly sliding the shirt up as he did.
"I love you Spike." She uttered. She was falling into his snares. But she wanted the protection. Needed to feel safe and wanted. Like no matter what happened the demons that lurked around Sunnydale could not get her, or hurt her. Because she was just a weak little Dawnie. Nothing powerful. Though she held enough power for them to want her. But they would destroy her for fun. He was destroying her to save her. Or so she thought, so they both thought.
Spike slid her flimsy shirt over her head. Dawn just closed her eyes and pulled Spike's mouth into hers. She wanted him to love her but knew it wasn't what this was. That was why she didn't want to go through with it. But she did, because she needed him. Prey in his bed and devoured completely.
Dawn woke in the morning...the actually daylight outside morning. She stretched herself out and heard her bones crack and she let out a moan of pain. She flickered her eyes open and looked around. She rolled over slowly to see an empty bed. No Spike. Had he left her, alone? When he had promised to protect her with his life. She sighed afraid. Because being alone meant being unsafe. That's how bad things had gotten there. Dawn whined and fluttered her eyes lashes, trying not to cry. She was scared now. Really scared. But hopeful. Just enough. And her hope was not misplaced. Because there he was walking into the bedroom a towel around his waste as he ruffled his wet hair with another towel. She sighed in relief. Some form of faint relief.
"Hey luv." He smiled a glint of evil in his perfectly blue eyes. "What where you whining for?" He asked calmly a hint of sympathy in his tone. Real sympathy.
"I thought you were gone." She admitted. Then suddenly she realized her had a sly look on his face and was looking at her chest. She covered herself up in a hurry. Then he furrowed his eyebrows.
"Not like I haven't seen it all before pet." Spike let a sinister smirk grace his lips. Dawn grimaced.
What was wrong with her. She cried out when she thought he was gone, and hurt when he was there. It was like a slow burn being with him. Because she felt used. This was some sick form of torture. But it was a torture he had suffered before. With Buffy. So maybe it was his turn to use someone. And using the slayers little sister was the best way to get even. The perfect form of pain he could stimulate. That was his strong suit.
"So luv." Spike threw the towel he used for his hair to the ground. Wouldn't be wearing a towel at all, but he didn't want to make her that uncomfortable, yet. "How you feeling?" He asked a shade of undertone in his voice. Always with the innuendo.
"All right." She sighed breathless.
"Just all right." His lips twitched as he sat beside her on the bed.
Dawn turned her head away from him and closed her eyes. "Exhausted." She admitted. Just used for amusement. She thought. That's all I am. So I'll just keep amusing. And she was to him. Everything she said the way she said it, was like a dance.
"I bet." Spike licked his lips. "I'll see you downstairs in ten." He kissed her forehead and was gone in a second.
Dawn breathed out a breath of air she didn't know she was holding. She knew this was the beginning of her future. Because she wouldn't be able to stop the ache. Because she was addicted to Spike. Loved and needed him. Needed him to protect her. Of course she could use the witch for protection. Willow would always welcome her, but she wouldn't walk away from Spike. Never would.
She sat up and rubbed her tired eyes. She got up and walked into the bathroom. She turned on the shower head and waited for the hot water to settle over her skin. The hot water cleansed her skin and relaxed her aching bones. When she turned the shower of she threw a towel over her body and stepped out of the shower. She walked over to her drawers and picked out some clothes. She slid the cotton over her body and sat on the edge of the bed. Damaged. Tamed. Because she would go downstairs, just as he asked. Just as he demanded.
Dawn slid down the stairs and looked around. "Spike?" She called to him her voice actually rising above a whisper.
"In here." His voice called from the kitchen.
Dawn walked into the kitchen to find Spike and the scoobies. Spike smiled as he put a plate of pancakes in front of her saturated with syrup and strawberries, just as she liked. And he knew that. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. But maybe he was just putting on a show.
"He Dawnie." Willow smiled wide. "Are you all right?" She asked. "You look tired."
"Didn't get much sleep." She sighed. Spike smirked.
"Oh." She nodded. "Yeah, Sunnydale will do that to you." Willow smiled.
"So whats going on?" Dawn asked confused. "What are you all doing here?" She raised her eyebrows as she started to pick at her pancakes.
"Well. We were worried about you." Xander frowned. "I mean being alone here and all."
"You guys do know that I can take care of myself." Dawn added taking another bite of her food.
"Yeah but ya know you are only sixteen and all." Willow said shyly. Spike grimaced at her announcement. He was well informed of Dawn's age, although she acted much older.
"And a half." She growled.
"Your so innocent Dawnie." Xander attempted. Spike laughed out loud accidentally. "What was that?" Xander asked.
"Nothing." Spike snickered.
"Anyways." Xander continued. "You have no idea how to take care of yourself. Your too innocent to be able to push through others and protect yourself, no matter the cost." Xander nodded. Spike couldn't help but chuckle again.
"Harris are you sure you know this girl?" He asked with a wry smile.
"Huh?" He asked confused.
"Shut up Spike!" Dawn hissed.
"Ooh feisty." Spike growled.
"Spike, if you would stop being a jerk." Xander shot him an angry look. "I was going to say we thought someone should maybe move in with you." He suggested.
"I already have Harris, your behind." Spike smirked.
"You have?" He asked.
"Yeah he has." Dawn frowned. "So if your all set you can go." She hissed.
"Dawn why are you so touchy?" Willow asked. Spike snickered again and Dawn shot him a knife-like glance.
"Tired." She sighed. "Sorry." The apology was fake.
"All right." Willow nodded. "We'll be going."
Before she could beg for rescue they were gone. And it was just her and Spike. Alone. Together. And she would be safe and completely in danger with him. She knew that. There was no escape. Her heart was bruised. And torn. She wouldn't be able to snap because there was no use. She had allowed herself to become his. Because she would be safe with him and she knew that. Knew how to push aside everyone else to ensure her own safety. Because Buffy had taught her how to protect herself. Just not the right way. And so she was his to use, and to protect. Your love is like candy, artificially sweet. I was deceived by the wrapping.
"They think your innocent." Spike smirked.
"Yeah." She nodded.
"Come on pet." Spike walked closer to her. "You look tired." He lifted her into his arms with ease and she couldn't help but smile.
"I can walk." She exclaimed.
"Yeah but it's best you conserve your energy." He smiled and walked up the stairs.
Spike rested her onto the bed and slid next to her wrapping his arms around her limp body. "Spike?" Dawn asked.
"Mmhm." Spike held her tighter.
"Tell me you love me." She begged.
"I love you." He whispered as he nuzzled into her neck.
Spike held onto her and kept her safe and protected. He could lie for fun and fake the way he held her. Let her fall for every empty word her said. Let her be naive. Because he knew she needed protection. And he needed a toy. Both needing something. And finding it in one another. Whether or not it was the best for either one of them. Because the Sunnydale that they lived in was not right. It corrupted people. Made them different. Dawn had given into it as well. Because she loved Spike. But knew she wasn't good enough for him. Didn't want to know how low he was really ready to go. But would be prepared to answer the question. Because this Sunnyhell was her home. And Spike was her savior, her killer.
Authors Note: So I don't know. I might continue this I am not sure. Let me know if you want me to or not. Because it is really full of angst. And It almost makes me depressed to write it . Let me tell you though it's sorta fun to write as well. Is that sick? Haha, just kidding. Dawn vs. Spike is pretty much asking for angst though so it just fits. But I know that sometimes it can be a little too much to have an entire fanfic be filled with angst. So I might not continue. I am not sure. Eventually I probably will. But if I do right now that only means it will take longer to finish my other ones. So I might jut wait a while before continuing this one. But be honest and tell me what you think, because I love reviews. They just light up my life. XoXoXoXoXoxoxoXoXoXoXo. Please review. Luv. -Kirsten-
