Chapter 1: First Offensive
Disclaimer: I do not own Suikoden III or any of the characters therein.
From the Journal of Caesar Silverberg, Age 20:
Personal memoirs and the like have never really been my thing. This was actually Thomas's idea. He says keeping a journal can help you stay focused and on track. He also told me he thought keeping a record of past experiences sounded like something that would be really useful for a tactician. All I could think of was all those diaries of members of the Silverberg family who lived hundreds of years ago I was forced to plough through as a kid. Not something I enjoyed very much, for the most part, although the "forbidden" sections (which I found my own sneaky way into, of course) could get pretty interesting sometimes. Affairs, liaisons, and even a few sparked revolutions and political assassinations. I don't think my parents cared so much about the sexual stuff, actually – it was those last two that could probably land us in a lot of trouble if anyone outside the family ever heard about them.
Anyway, where was I? I recorded my experiences in the Second Fire Bringer War a long time ago. Apparently the family was pretty impressed. I think I got high marks because I was working with such a tiny, beat up army at the time. The Academy practically begged me to return and finish my education there, so they could be able to brag that the great prodigy Caesar Silverberg went there. Huh. They weren't calling me a prodigy when I dropped out, if I remember correctly. Apple and Thomas thought I should do it, but to tell the truth I've been learning way more here than I ever would at the Academy. I've been learning hunting and riding from the Karayans, lancing from the Lizards (Dupa is a really scary instructor) and swordsmanship from the Zexens. I'm not the stringy kid I used to be (although I'm not a muscle-bound brute, either), and most important, I'm as tall as Albert now. I've been serving as a mediator for the Zexens and Grasslanders, since I'm kind of the one that suggested the peace in the first place. I've come to think of myself as a "peacetime tactician", a tactician who uses his brain to figure out the best methods to keep the peace. Apple hinted that she knew some people who could tell me more about this – apparently I'm not the first person to come up with this idea.
Apple amazes me. She's almost 40 now, but you'd never know it by looking at her; these past four years haven't touched her. When I tell her she'll get more wrinkles, I'm just kidding. You'd be hard-pressed to find a wrinkle on her in the first place. Her skin is still soft and smooth, she doesn't have any smile lines even though she smiles all the time, and her lips…those lips…they're still…
Um, okay. This is starting to sound like one of those diary entries from hundreds of years ago. Only that was mostly young Silverberg women having passionate affairs with the tutors hired to teach them. These men were usually old enough to be the fathers of the women they were teaching, but that didn't stop them. Either that or they'd be sleeping with the generals they were serving as tacticians. Or with some willful young soldier who the family definitely wouldn't approve of. Silverberg men actually seem to be a lot more boring than Silverberg women when it comes to their love lives. I didn't read anything about them wooing their female tutors, anyway…
Ugh, alright, I admit it, I'm madly in love with Apple. I've been in love with her since I was sixteen, but I've held back because I didn't want my age to turn into a problem. But, now that I'm 20, I'm a man, and I think I've earned the right to love whoever I damn well please. Now, as I was saying. Apple's lips. I like how they're kind of thin but they also pucker up in the center. I bet if I kissed her it would taste just like a real apple, sweet and tart and succulent. And forbidden. Argh! It drives me crazy, how long I've been wanting to kiss her! It's gotten to the point where I don't feel bad about it anymore, like I did when I was sixteen, but now I don't have any reason to hold back and waiting for the right moment is frustrating on so many levels. I've been waiting for a long time, and I think I've finally found the right occasion. The Zexens and the Grasslanders are having a ball to celebrate the peace. I offered to escort Apple there if she had no one else in mind. It nearly blew the lid off everything when she told me I should find a young sweetheart to go with me, not some 37-year-old woman. I managed to wriggle out of that by telling her I was waiting until I had a more stable career before I got romantically involved. That must have satisfied her, because she agreed to let me escort her. Apparently this event goes beyond just Zexens and Grasslanders, because dignitaries from Harmonia and Dunan and the like are going to be there. If I can get Apple alone, it'll be the perfect moment. Now I just have to pray that I don't humiliate myself somehow and that Apple doesn't freak out.
Weeks before the date of the ball, Caesar was already going counter to his laid back nature and going into hysterics over what to wear. Dancing was not a problem, as he'd been taught how to comport himself at high-end parties long ago. The Silverbergs were taught social skills with the same fanatical intensity that they were drilled in strategy. So, the main problem was his clothes. He'd never particularly cared what he looked like, but this night was so important that it had driven him to the point that he was agonizing over every physical flaw (real or imagined) he possessed. He had turned to Thomas for advice about this. In the end, he'd gone with black gentlemanly attire with the classic white frock with a gold brooch set with a stone that matched his eyes, because he figured it was the only thing guaranteed not to turn into a wardrobe malfunction. Then came what to bring Apple as a gift. That took a whole week by itself. He finally decided on the biggest, most beautiful, most expensive bouquet he could find. As for what to go get her in, he had decided to ride in a stage coach with Thomas and Cecile.
It had been three whole weeks of hell, but by the time it was over he felt reasonably good about it. The bottom fell out of his whole plan when he saw what he was picking up, however. When she appeared at the estate dining room where he, Thomas and Cecile were waiting, they barely recognized her. The only thing that hadn't changed was the glasses. She was wearing a tastefully sensuous blue dress, which hugged all the right places, and had her brown hair styled in a bun that made her bangs fall pleasantly along her face, with blue flowers pinned into it as a finishing touch. She was wearing expertly applied makeup that made her already pretty features become full-blown gorgeous. Cecile and Thomas were beside themselves with compliments, but in the moment of truth, Caesar found himself tongue-tied. When Apple saw the dumb-founded expression on his face, she took it for disapproval.
"Oh, no, is it that bad? I warned Jean this was too much for a woman who's going on forty, but she wouldn't hear of it. Plus I thought she was going to kill me if I put up any resistance – she was trying to make her own preparations while helping me and it sounded like it was going to take her a long time to get ready as it was. I hope you're not going to be embarrassed by me. I can change if you'd like…"
"No, no! You look beautiful! It's just…not quite what I was expecting." That was an understatement. And almost an insult, he realized a split-second after he said it; it implied that Apple couldn't make herself stunning if she wanted to.
"Thank you." She said, smiling and blushing. Things smoothed out after that, except that Caesar couldn't think of anything to say and he was afraid to touch her. He wanted to put his arm around her shoulders or her waist, but was too worried about her reaction.
"Would you like to take my arm?" He offered finally.
"Yes, thank you." She said, smiling as always, and deftly, demurely looped her arm into his. He liked the closeness. This way he could smell her perfume and feel her body heat. It was some kind of exciting yet subdued scent that fit perfectly with the way Apple looked, no doubt orchestrated by the expert, Jean. Thomas and Cecile chattered good-naturedly on the stage coach, which saved him from sinking himself trying to make conversation. So far, so good. When they got there, though, something unexpected occurred. He had just finished gently taking Apple's hand and helped her out of the stagecoach, when a blur with short-cropped blond hair shot past him and straight for Apple.
"Apple! Apple! Apple!" The man sang-yelled, lifting her up and twirling her around in the air several times. At first Apple gasped in shock, obviously not recognizing this crazy person. But then a self-conscious grin lit up her face and she started laughing.
"Sheena, stop it already! We're not eighteen anymore!" Apple finally scolded, and the man obediently put her down. Despite Caesar's silence, inside his head chaos reigned. Who the hell was that? This hadn't showed up in any of his calculations!
"I'm sorry, you're right." Sheena said sheepishly, obediently placing Apple firmly on her feet. Since she was wearing high heels the transition didn't go as well as it might have any other time, and Apple stumbled precariously backward until Caesar caught her by the shoulders.
"Who's this guy?" Sheena asked, finally noticing him.
"He's my…" Apple began, but Caesar cut her off.
"Traveling companion." Caesar grated out with more vehemence than was necessary in this situation, prompting a strange look from Apple and a raised eyebrow from Sheena. He hadn't meant to be so scary, but no way was he going to let Apple introduce him to everyone as her student. It was a sure fire way to ruin his plans.
"Oh, I see. What's your name?" Sheena's voice had taken on an oddly hopeful tone now. Caesar had no inkling as to what that could mean. This whole thing was getting weirder by the minute.
"Caesar Silverberg." The guy obviously recognized the name.
"A Silverberg, huh? Well, I guess that makes sense…" What? What was that supposed to mean? Caesar was totally baffled.
"Sheena, what the hell do you think you're – oh, spirits! APPLE!" A woman's voice boomed from somewhere in the direction the mystery man had come from. At this rate, he wasn't going to get even a second alone with her. It seemed like there were throngs of people lining up to see Apple.
"Oulan!" Apple shrieked happily and dashed toward a woman dressed in the clothing style of the Toran Republic. They embraced and then Apple was once more subjected to being lifted up and swung around like a carousel.
"Argh, Oulan, not you too! You're going to mess up my hair and then Jean will kill me!" Apple said warningly. Oulan placed her down even harder than Sheena had and Caesar once again had to rush forward to catch her by the shoulders. Sheena moved to stand beside Oulan, the two of them grinning sheepishly at Apple.
"Did you two come here together?" Asked Apple. This question prompted a sudden look of discomfort, even guilt to show up on their faces.
"Sheena! Don't run off like that and leave your kids in the lurch! And I'm surprised at you, Oulan, you're usually the one with common sense in this family." The voice of an older man rumbled disapprovingly, and both Oulan and Sheena winced even more. Caesar looked over his shoulder to see a burly man wearing a fur cloak and an expensive brooch approaching, accompanied by an older woman who was shepherding two young children. He turned back just in time to see something dawn on Apple's face, and she looked questioningly at Sheena.
"You…and Oulan…are you married?" She asked tentatively, treating the subject as if it were a very sharp object with a mind of its own. Sheena and Oulan were still grinning, but he could see them recoiling on the inside.
"Um…yes." Sheena answered. The joyous reunion had suddenly become painfully awkward, but Caesar had no idea what had made it go sour. By this time the older man had caught up with them, and he noticed Apple, too. He stopped dead and just looked at her for a moment, acting as if he'd seen a ghost.
"Oh. Apple, it's you." He said slowly, stating the obvious.
"Daughter-in-l….er, I mean, Apple, it's good to see you again." The older woman offered. Wait a minute. Had she just called Apple daughter-in-law?
"Well, I guess we're kind of getting in the way, all milling around out here in one place. We'd better go in." Sheena suggested, mercifully breaking the deadlock of silence that had settled over the impromptu gathering. With that, Sheena and his entourage headed into the ballroom, leaving a suspiciously quiet Apple and a stunned Caesar in their wake.
"What was….who were…" Caesar couldn't even manage a complete sentence.
"That…was my ex-husband and his family." Apple said softly. He couldn't place the tone. Uh oh. This was bad.
"Apple…I'm so sorry. Are you upset? Do you want to go home?" Caesar rushed to put his hands gently on her shoulders in a comforting gesture, but Apple brushed them aside.
"No, really, I'm alright, Ceasar. I'm happy for him. It wasn't a bitter divorce, actually…but I'll tell you about it some other time. We'd better go in." Apple's demeanor had suddenly grown distant. She once again took Caesar's arm, letting him guide her in, a distracted expression gracing her features. Once they got in, the next person to accost Apple was Jean.
"See? See? What did I tell you? If you'd just put a little effort into it, you could have every man for miles around eating out of your hand!"
"Hm." Apple replied noncommittally, rolling her eyes.
"I mean it! Oh, yes, and you'll never believe who's come here, and asking about you nonetheless." Jean's voice dropped to a conspiratorial murmur. Apple's demeanor cooled considerably.
"Who?"
"Shu. The man himself. He's older than you but I daresay he looks as good as he ever has. Except…" Jean trailed off.
"Except what?" Apple asked, her voice as distant as her face.
"He just seems…sadder than I remember him." Jean sounded apprehensive.
"Hm." Apple fell back on the neutral response she'd given before. By Caesar's calculations, this made two old flames of Apple's that had shown up in the span of about five minutes. The only silver lining was that she didn't seem the least bit interested in either of them. Her response to this Shu guy had been downright chilly… Wait. Shu?
"When you say Shu, do you mean…?" Caesar began, only to be cut off by Apple.
"Yes, Caesar, we mean that Shu." Apple sighed.
Whoa. Apple had had a liaison with him? He wondered how many other failed love affairs Apple had had with famous people in her time. Suddenly Caesar felt very small and insignificant. He recalled that guy Sheena was the son of a powerful head of state, too. Between the appearance of him and the looming presence of Shu, he was starting to feel this evening slip through his fingers.
"Well…?" Jean finally prompted after an eternity of broody silence from both of them.
"I think I'll let him come to me." Apple said airily, and Caesar could have sworn he heard her mutter under her breath, "For once in his life."
"That's the spirit." Jean said, nodding approvingly.
"Would you care to dance, Apple?" Caesar asked, not to hopeful of the result but feeling it might be good to take Apple's mind off things that were obviously turning her mood sour. Apple brightened and offered her hand to him.
"Why, yes, of course. Thank you, Caesar." She said warmly. He took her hand and led her out onto the floor. They managed to get through about two dances before the interruption he had been hoping would never happen occurred.
"Apple. It has been some time." A dignified voice, deep but subdued, intoned from behind them.
